by Rhonda Shaw
“Shit!” he exclaimed in surprise.
Chasing the basketball down, Shannon snagged it and raced toward the basket. Just as she went up for the layup, Matt grabbed her and pulled her against him, the ball dropping out of her hands and onto the floor. He held onto her as he moved them off the court.
“No way I’m going to let you beat me,” he panted, out of breath.
She laughed as she tried to suck in air. “Sore loser.”
“Damn right,” he said as he lowered his lips to hers.
Pulling back from the kiss, Shannon eyed him. “The game is ending in a tie?”
“Yep, and I’m fine with that. In fact, I’m ready to get out of here and partake in some other forms of exercise.”
Her arms went around his neck. “Oh yeah? What kind of exercise would that be? I’m pretty sweaty as it is.”
“And you look sexy as hell, but I think I can muss up your hair some more.” He pulled on her rubber band.
His mouth came back down on her and he kissed her thoroughly. Even though she had a ton of work to do, she couldn’t say no, despite the lectures she’d been giving herself earlier in the day. In fact, she couldn’t think of a better way to spend the rest of her evening, especially since he was going to be leaving soon. She’d never felt more alive and she was having fun. She’d worry about work later.
* * *
The next day, Matt stopped Shannon before she walked out the door of his hotel room. “Hey, before you leave, I want to talk to you about something.”
Here’s where he tells me he’s heading home for Thanksgiving. Shannon glanced his way as she shoved her foot in her shoe. “What’s up?”
“What are you doing for Thanksgiving?”
“Nothing,” she replied haltingly.
“Nothing?” Matt repeated in surprise. “You’re not going home?”
“Not this year, no. Since I was home for the wedding, I knew I wouldn’t be able to get away again so soon.”
“So, you’ll be here, alone, for Thanksgiving?” he asked.
Shannon smiled up at him. “Yep. Don’t worry. I’m a big girl. I’ll be fine.”
“I’m not worried. I’m just trying to figure out what we’re going to do.”
She frowned as she stood and pulled on her jacket. “We? What do you mean, we? Aren’t you going back to Arizona?”
“Not yet,” Matt said.
“Matt, you should go home. Be with your family. You don’t need to waste your time here.”
His expression darkened. “Why would I be wasting my time if I was here?”
“Well, I didn’t mean…I don’t…” Shannon stammered, taken aback by his sharp reaction. They were just having fun, right? “I only meant I know you don’t get to see them a lot and I’m going to have to work, so…”
“You’ve got to have Thanksgiving. You can’t not have it. Tell you what, give me a key to your apartment and I’ll get everything.”
“What?” she asked, thinking he’d clearly lost his mind. “Why would you do that?”
“Because I want to.” Matt pulled her close. “I want to spend Thanksgiving with you.”
Her heart melted and words failed her. How do you decline such an invitation? You don’t. Despite the tug-of-war wrestling within her—with half of her insisting this wasn’t a relationship and they couldn’t be in one, while the other half told her to shut up and enjoy him—she was torn and didn’t know what to do. So, she’d listen to the greedy, selfish half and continue seeing him. One day the fun would end and it would be hard when that day came, but she’d get past it. And if a little bit of her heart went with him, so be it. She’d have to live with it. Her life would return to normal, it just wasn’t going to be today.
“Okay,” she told him with a smile. “I can’t wait.”
* * *
After Thanksgiving, time flew. Matt stayed in Chicago, getting together with Shannon as much as he could. With her work schedule, that proved difficult and he didn’t see her near as much as he wanted, but he did his best to remain patient and understanding. He really liked Shannon, enjoyed every minute he spent with her. He didn’t even mind when she’d argued with him over pointless things. She made her opinion known, which he appreciated since so many girls only said what they thought he wanted to hear. She was confident and driven, and he respected her dedication to her job. She had a career and she wasn’t looking to be taken care of, which he couldn’t say about many of the girls he’d met. Of course, being with a woman who was as career-driven as he was definitely posed some different challenges in a relationship, ones he hadn’t dealt with before, but he was willing to try. He was always willing to try.
Time, however, was winding down. The calendar was moving closer to Christmas and him heading home to Arizona. After which came Spring Training in Florida, and any free time of his would disappear. He tried not to stress over what to do next, figuring he’d think of some way to keep things going between them because he wasn’t ready to let her go yet.
Spread out on the floor in front of the fireplace, he snuggled closer to her. She’d arrived after work, late as usual, haggard and tired, but her face had lit up as soon as she’d spotted how he’d pushed the furniture out of the way in order to enjoy a romantic dinner in front of the fire, making Matt foolishly proud of the gesture. Anything to put the sparkle in her eye and elicit her beaming grin, he would do. He wanted her happy all the time.
Per the usual, not long afterward, their clothes came off in a rush as if they hadn’t seen each other in years. His need for her bordered on insatiable, causing him to worry about when they eventually went their separate ways. They still hadn’t broached the subject of the “after” part of this relationship, if you could call what was between them that, and he kept putting the talk off because the outcome appeared bleak. But the discussion needed to happen sooner rather than later, and since Christmas was merely a week away, that meant soon. The pressure from his mother to get home was increasing and she’d stuck Kirby on him as well. He could ignore only so much before the pestering became unbearable.
It was the last thing he wanted to think about, however, as he pulled the naked body, still warm and vibrating from their lovemaking, of this incredibly sexy woman closer. The room was dark, the only light from the fire burning bright. He’d closed the drapes on the large picture windows, shutting them off from the rest of the world, forming a warm, cozy cocoon—one he didn’t want to leave from—ever. But they had to face reality, whether they wanted to or not.
Before he drummed up the nerve, his cell phone buzzed on the table behind them. Figuring it was Kirby calling to ride him again about getting back to Arizona, he let the call go into voice mail. He snuggled tighter against Shannon when the buzzing started again.
“What the hell…” he muttered.
“Someone really wants to get a hold of you.” Shannon glanced at him over her shoulder. “Maybe you should check to make sure it isn’t an emergency or something.”
“I’m going to kill whoever it is.” Matt sat up and grabbed his phone off the table.
He checked the display and cold shock flashed over his skin before unease settled in his gut. Natalie’s name stared right back at him. How in the hell had she’d gotten his new number?
Matt closed his eyes as anger flooded him. He was sick and tired of this. He didn’t understand what her problem was, why she continuously pushed, but he was done. He hadn’t been able to prove she’d been in Chicago before, but she’d now handed him the proof he needed to show direct violation of the personal protection order.
“Everything okay?” Shannon asked quietly.
He quickly turned off the ringer and tossed the phone down. “Oh, yeah. Sorry about that. No emergency.”
She continued to study him and he could tell she didn’t believe him. “Who was it?”
He lay back down next to her and kissed her neck. He should say something, but the last thing he wanted to do was scare her away when so much unsettled busine
ss remained between them. Once they worked it out, he would tell her everything.
“Just someone who doesn’t know how to take no for an answer.” He looked her in the eye. “I swear. It’s no one important.”
“Are you sure?”
A small swell of confidence filled him at hearing her concern, so he smiled. “Yes, I’m sure. There’s nobody else besides you and me.”
Shannon showed no reaction, remaining silent, and his confidence waned.
“What are you thinking?” Matt asked, needing to know what was going on in her head.
“I was thinking about what you said. About it being you and me…”
“And?” he pushed.
“Christmas is next week…” she started, but said nothing further.
Apparently, her thoughts were running along the same lines as his. The time had come to lay everything out. Matt took a deep breath and cursed the nerves clenching his stomach. Nervous wasn’t part of his game and he definitely didn’t need anxiety now. He had to be confident or else Shannon would trample all his arguments. It was what she did and did well.
“Are you going back to Michigan?” he asked her.
“No.”
“No? How come?” Matt asked as he leaned in to brush her lips with his. He couldn’t be around her and not want to kiss her, touch her.
“Work. What else do I have going on?” she said with a muffled chuckle.
He nodded his understanding before he cleared his throat. It was now or never. “Come with me, then.”
Her eyes widened. “With you? What? To Arizona?”
“Yeah. Spend the holiday with me.”
Shannon sat up, making them separate. She held her knees to her chest and stared at him with what looked like…he didn’t know exactly. Fear? “I can’t go with you.”
Matt sat up too, always making sure to keep his hands on her in some way. He refused to her let build up a wall between them. “I don’t see why not. You said yourself that you weren’t going home. Come with me. You can relax, see the sun and we can spend some more time together. You can work there.”
Heavy silence lingered for a long time as she studied his face, before she slowly tried to edge away from him. “I can’t. We can’t. We can’t keep doing this.”
Crap. “Because?”
“You know why. I’m here with my job, and you’re in Arizona, then Florida and then Michigan and then all over the place. When would we ever see each other? How would a long distance relationship like that even work?” She shook her head as she answered her own questions. “It wouldn’t because I could never get away. You’ve seen how hard it’s been now and you’ve been in the same city as me. It wouldn’t be fair to either of us.”
“I know. Believe me I know all of this. I’ve told myself the same thing, numerous times, but I keep coming back to one thing.”
“What?”
“I like you, Shannon. I really like you and I have a great time with you. Tell me you don’t feel the same way.”
She hesitated, denial almost falling out of her mouth, but she stopped, probably sensing he would recognize the lie. She closed her eyes and gave in. “I do.”
At that little crack, he continued to push. “I couldn’t live with myself if we didn’t at least try. The last thing I want to do is walk away from this and wonder my whole life what would have happened if only we’d tried. I refuse to live with regret.”
“Matt—” Shannon started, but he wouldn’t let her finish.
“Is that what you want? To wonder? Wonder if perhaps we could have found a way to make us work?”
“I course I don’t want to,” she said as she averted her eyes down. “I just have no idea how.”
“We do whatever we can. That’s all. But it will only work if we both want it to work. If we both want to try.”
Shannon took in a deep breath and seemed to deflate. “No matter what I say, I’m the bad guy in this. If I say no, it sounds like I don’t want to try, when that’s not true. If I say yes, then it’s like I’m giving up on my dreams and myself. Either way, I can’t see a way to make this work.”
“If you want this, then we’ll find a way. You don’t have to give up anything. Thankfully, my job gives me enough money to do what I want and I’ll fly out here whenever I can. If you don’t want to go to Arizona now, then I’ll go and come back here after Christmas.”
She glanced up in surprise. “You’d do that?”
“Of course I would.” Matt cupped the back of her neck. “I feel that strongly about this that I’m willing to do anything. Anything, Shannon.”
* * *
Shannon let Matt pull her into his arms because she loved their strength and warmth as they cradled and sheltered her. She’d known each time she continued to see him that breaking away at the end became that much harder. Even now, she swayed toward him and all he promised. She longed for two very different things—she wanted her career, she wanted to make partner and she wanted to be successful, but she also wanted this man in her life more than she’d ever wanted anyone. To have one meant she couldn’t have the other—not completely at least—yet she couldn’t turn away on either. She had to pick one, but she wasn’t ready to do that yet.
She pulled back and Matt studied her with wary eyes, waiting on her decision. “Have you taken anyone down to meet your family before?”
Alarm replaced the wariness before clearing. He hesitated before he simply sighed. “No.”
“No?”
“No, I’ve never taken anyone home to meet them. The last girl they met was a girl I was serious about in college.”
“Matt,” Shannon said with a huff. “Don’t you think they’ll wonder about us? Make some assumptions?”
“Don’t worry about them. I’ll handle them, I promise. They won’t make things uncomfortable.”
Shannon took a deep breath and even though her brain still struggled to puzzle out the right answer, her heart knew before anything else. She wanted to go to Arizona with him and she wanted more time with him, and foolishly enough, she was quite possibly falling for him. Maybe they could somehow get the impossible to work, although she had no idea how.
“Okay,” she finally said and didn’t miss his huge grin.
“Seriously?”
“Yes, seriously.”
Matt yanked her into his lap and covered her mouth with his. When he finally broke away, he was still grinning at her. “I know you’re worried, but we’ll figure it out. Everything will work out.”
Shannon nodded and gave him a small smile, but it fell short. She tried to swallow past the tight lump in her throat, worried she’d just given up all of her dreams. But at the moment, she couldn’t find the will to care. She didn’t want to give him up. Not anytime soon, maybe not ever.
Chapter 11
As the plane started its descent into the desert, the dormant butterflies in Shannon’s stomach awakened and took flight. She’d manage not to fret the entire trip, but now the nerves were unavoidable. Why she’d agreed to visit during Christmas was beyond her. The timing in itself presented unrealistic expectations of her, as well as incorrect assumptions about her and Matt, especially with his family, but here she was. Why? She had no idea. Really, she had no clue. For someone who insisted her career was the top priority of her life, her actions lately indicated the direct opposite. Reality was, despite their agreement to try, a successful relationship between her and Matt was unattainable—he wasn’t going to stop playing baseball or ask for a trade from Detroit to Chicago, and she wasn’t going to quit her job…if she still had one after this trip.
Her approved request for time off hadn’t come without discussion, despite it being over the Christmas holiday when many of their clients were off too. Carol commented that for a junior associate, Shannon sure spent a lot of time away from the office. Shannon assured Carol she would continue to bill hours despite being away, but she’d heeded the message loud and clear—she needed to stop slacking off. This would be her final warning
and any signs she wasn’t measuring up, she’d be shown out, which was exactly why she’d have to tighten the bootstraps after New Year’s, when she returned to Chicago, and put her nose to the grindstone. Nothing else could come between her and work, including Matt.
It wasn’t his fault she couldn’t say no to him. It wasn’t his fault she couldn’t get enough of him. No, it was her fault for opening the door in the first place and consequently not being able to control herself, which meant she needed to put some distance between them. After New Year, Matt and Shannon would be no more—although he didn’t know that yet.
It was unfair of her to be making these types of plans without discussing them with him, especially since she’d promised she’d try, but even if they tried, they would never work, the differences in their lives being too big for them to succeed as a couple. Their circumstances remained fixed, so why go through the pain of trying and failing if you already know the outcome?
She glanced at him out of the corner of her eye. Relaxed and so handsome as he rested his head against the seat with his eyes closed. He wasn’t sleeping, but she took the time to study him unnoticed. She really didn’t deserve him. He had his moments where his ego peeked out, and she couldn’t blame him when he constantly received praise and accolades as a remarkable ballplayer as well as worship and adoration as a gorgeous man. To his credit, he still somehow remained well-grounded with his priorities straight and considering family to be of the upmost importance.
Which is why he shouldn’t waste his time with me. A family didn’t wait at the end of the road for them. She had no time to be a girlfriend, let alone a wife and a mother.