“I’m proud of you, bro,” Ryder blurts out, choked with emotion and leaving me stunned.
Those are words that I’ve told him but never heard them out of his mouth. I know he’s always been in my corner and always will be, but hearing his words leaves me speechless and causes a tumble of emotion to roll through me.
Ryder grips my arm. “You struggled to get to where you are today and I know I had something to do with getting you here, but hell, you’re one strong fucker.” He laughs.
“Thanks.” That’s not really an adequate response, but with it being unexpected, for once, I’m left floundering.
“Okay, mushy shit over with.” Ryder scowls as he lets us into his apartment while I can’t wipe the grin off my face.
My grin spreads when I see Dahlia slowly walking around the living room with Faith snuggled against her.
Dahlia is an awesome mama, and looks so damn cute cuddling Faith.
I love how her face lights up whenever Ryder walks into a room. It’s as though he’s been away from her for months…years, when in actual fact, she’ll be lucky if he’s away longer than an hour.
“Hi, gorgeous,” Dahlia says with a wink.
“Hey, stop encouraging him, babe,” Ryder counters, smacking his wife on her ass.
Dahlia rolls her eyes. “I’m not telling him anything he doesn’t already know.” Her eyes drop and focus on the crutches under my arms. “Oh, shit. What happened?” She gently passes Faith to Ryder before running over to me, and wrapping her arm around my waist. Her gaze searches my body for an injury before I can even reply. I glance at my brother, who has a smirk on his face before he turns away and heads toward his favorite chair, a brown leather recliner.
Turning my attention back to my sister-in-law, I kiss her on the top of her head before pushing her a bit away from me so I can see her face. “I’m fine.”
She frowns.
“Seriously, Dahlia. I’m good. I just need to keep the prosthesis off a day or two until the swelling has gone down. I’ve just over done it with work.”
“Then come and take a load off.” She leads me to the sofa, where I drop my ass down into the soft cushions.
I’ll be lucky if I can get up from this thing with how deeply I’ve sunk into the large cushions.
Dahlia drops down beside me, and turning, she curls her legs under and rests against me. “So, tell me why you over did it.”
“It’s not just a case of overdoing it.” I sigh. “I may have jumped out of my truck and twisted my knee.” I wrap my arm around her neck and pull her tightly against my side. “Please don’t worry about me. I promise, I’ll be fine in a day or two. It’s already feeling better.”
“Now that you know he’s fine, will you get away from him?” Ryder grumbles.
I grasp Dahlia on her hips and swing her over me so she’s sitting across my lap. “I like her where she is just fine,” I tease.
His eyes go into a tight line of ‘game on’, an expression I know well from our childhood. “Faith wants her mama.”
I throw my head back and laugh. “I can’t believe you used your daughter.” Shaking my head, I push Dahlia up so she can go and sit with her husband and child.
Watching them now, I can’t help but notice what a gorgeous family they make. Reaching into the side pocket of my shorts, I bring out my cell. “Hey, guys. Smile.” Dahlia sits on the chair arm and wraps her arm around Ryder’s neck while my brother snuggles Faith in his arms. I snap a few pictures. “Okay.”
“Oh, let me see.” Dahlia tries to jump up but is held back with Ryder’s arm around her.
“You’ve snuggled against him enough for today,” Ryder grouches. “He needs to get his own woman.”
Savannah, with her lush curves and fresh smile that leaves me hard and aching every night, pops into my head.
“Hmm.” Dahlia sighs. “Does she have red hair?”
My lips twitch, but I refuse to smile and give her the satisfaction of knowing she guessed correctly.
“Hey, I saw that.” Dahlia jumps up and claps her hands together. “I knew you’d get it on with her eventually.”
“That’s not what’s happened,” I admit, as I rub my chest where my heart is. “I saw her last night on my way home.” I smile as the image of her soaked to the skin fills my mind. She’d looked amazing with her wet curls twisting down her neck and over her shoulders. “She was caught in the downpour. I stopped and took her back to my place. She got dry and then we spent a few hours talking…about anything and everything.”
“I think he’s gone on her,” Ryder announces to the room at large.
“I knew it. From what Ryder has told me, she couldn’t take her eyes off of you so it’s only a matter of time before she’s in your life for good.”
“I wish it was that easy,” I admit. “She’s still engaged.”
Dahlia sits on the coffee table in front of me. “Why?”
I glance to Ryder before meeting Dahlia’s gaze. “I really don’t know. We avoided talking about him last night. I was tempted to ask, so tempted, but in the end, I didn’t want to ruin what we had, you know? I really enjoyed having her with me, and I know she feels the same. I just wish I knew what was going on with Richard.”
Faith stretches her little body in Ryder’s arms and begins making cooing noises as she searches for her food. Ryder chuckles before he carefully passes her to Dahlia for a feeding. I can’t help but smile at the trio.
“I’ll go and feed her. I won’t be long,” Dahlia says before she disappears.
“I’ll still be here.” I turn to my brother, who has returned to his chair.
“So his name’s Richard?” Ryder sits forward, and rests his arms on his knees. “I’ve never met him, but I’ve seen him around a few times when he’s picked Savannah up from softball.”
“Yeah, that’s all I’d seen of him, until yesterday.”
Ryder raises a brow in question.
“He’s a sheriff’s deputy and he just transferred to my station.”
“Well, shit.”
“Yeah, but that isn’t all…we’ve been asked to work together to organize a charity softball game.”
“Oh, fuck.” Ryder relaxes back against his chair. “What are you going to do?”
“What Ned asked…and I’m going to get the girl at the end of the day as well. There’s no other option.”
That’s the truth.
Savannah has been mine since I laid eyes on her. She’s slowly gotten deeper under my skin to the point that I can’t think about anyone else.
The thought of sleeping with anyone else, of making a life with someone other than her…hell, even the thought of a dinner with another woman, turns my stomach.
“I’m sure you’ll get her in the end. No one who is happily engaged looks at another guy the way she does you. Although it might take a while, I’m sure everything will work out. Just don’t give up on her.”
“Thanks for the advice,” I raise a brow and grin, “Mom.”
He throws his head back and roars with laughter moments before I join him.
Savannah
Waking up this morning from the best sleep I’ve had in a long time, my heart longs for Jace to be with me.
Last night had been amazing and it had been so long since I’d spent quality time with a man—with anyone really. The fact that it was Jace made last night special. He listened to me, and we discovered that we have similar tastes in books, music, and movies, and just about everything else, including Italian food.
The time I spent with Jace brought me to the conclusion that I can’t stay in the situation that I’m in with Richard. It also made it glaringly obvious that I haven’t once spent time with him the way I did with Jace.
I hate being the cause of hurt to anyone, and I guess I’m hoping Richard is more open to what I’m going to be telling him. It would certainly make it a lot easier for me. Something tells me that I’m going to fail miserably at this and that he isn’t going to go quietly, no
matter how much I want him to.
Sighing heavily, I head out the front door with my purse, keys, and cell in hand. I smile when I think about the visit I’m about to make to Golden Circle. The children there always brighten my day and put a smile on my face. Since Tammy has been there, it’s difficult to not take her home with me. She’s a sweet child who I adore, and I’m finally starting to make headway with her. The slight smile I now receive when she sees me is delightful. It makes me sad to think of her without parents. Golden Circle is one of the nicer homes for children and I’m so glad that Tammy and the others found their way there.
Parking my car after the very short trip, I barely glance at the landscaped gardens that a local company is responsible for. They donated shrubs, trees, and their time to create the beautiful scenery that surrounds Golden Circle.
Walking inside, I spot Karen, who must be working this morning. She’s a tall, older woman who seems ageless. Her brown eyes sparkle and her ebony hair is captured in braids that are gathered in a large ribbon. A soft sprinkling of freckles dot her dark, brown cheeks and just add to the cheerfulness that she exudes. She’s been married forever and has two grown children of her own, not to mention a serious coffee addiction.
“You had any coffee yet?” She looks at me over the top of her reading glasses, which have slipped down her nose, a steaming cup in her hand.
“Sorry. I’m distracted today.” I pour myself a coffee, adding creamer and a half spoon of sugar.
Still watching me, Karen laughs. “That’s what you call it, huh?”
“Nothing like that.” I smile. “Although that would have been nice.” I need to get a life, or rather kick the one I have in gear.
“I’m here for you,” Karen offers, “anytime that you need to talk, or just to get something off your chest.”
Walking past Karen, I squeeze her shoulder. “Thank you.” Sitting opposite her, I sip my coffee and admit, “I’m engaged to one guy, but falling in love with another.”
Her mouth hangs open in surprise.
“Yeah, that about covers it.” I sigh, and rest my chin in my hands while staring at her amused expression.
“Why are you engaged to the one man if you’re in love with another?” Karen looks confused, which sums up how I feel.
“Because I don’t want to hurt Richard, but I’m probably hurting Jace instead.”
Until this moment, I hadn’t realized just how much Jace has come to mean to me.
He’s everything.
“Wait? What? The softball guy?” Karen stumbles over her words. “I’ve only seen him once from a distance, but you’re getting it on with that sexy man?” She whistles.
I laugh at her antics, and then put her right, “Not exactly getting it on…” I offer her a secret smile. “Although, we did spend time together on his sofa last night, talking about anything and everything.”
“Mmm…oh, it does sound like he has it just as bad as you do.”
“Yeah, but what the hell am I going to do?” I rest my head on top of the table.
“Where is your heart leading you? And out of interest, this is the first time I heard of you being engaged.” She raises a brow.
I don’t usually wear my ring here, so I’m not surprised she hadn’t known. It certainly hadn’t entered my head to announce it to everyone. I sigh. “Well…that says it all, huh?”
“I think it does. But only you can make the decision, which I think your heart has already made.”
My cell dings with a text message.
Retrieving my cell from my pocket, I look at Karen. “My heart is completely involved with Jace.”
“I know that already…now tell me, which one is sending you a text.” She smirks.
I grin, and looking at the screen, my grin widens. “Jace.” Entering my passcode, I read his message.
I really enjoyed last night. J x
“He sent me a kiss.” I’m sure I’m grinning like a schoolgirl and I fight the urge to press my palms to my overheated cheeks.
I glance at Karen, and chuckle when she shakes her head. “The reaction of a grown woman.”
“Oh, you hush up.”
Feeling as though I’m all fingers and thumbs, I shoot him a message back.
So did I. Do you want to grab coffee sometime? S x
I hardly breathe while I wait for his message and, when it comes through I nearly drop my cell.
I’d love to meet for coffee. Date & time? J x
“I suggested we meet for coffee and he said yes. What should I say? And what the hell am I doing? I shouldn’t be seeing Jace when I’m still engaged to Richard.” I feel tears threatening.
“Then I think it’s time you talk to Richard, don’t you?”
Karen is right, as usual.
“Okay, I’ll message Richard to find out when the best time is to meet him. I don’t want to tell him at my house because it might be more difficult to get rid of him if he doesn’t like what I have to say.” I pause and bite my lip as I think about how he will react. It’s safer to do it in public. “But I don’t have the heart to tell him in public.” I sigh aloud. “Ugh, my life is too damn complicated.”
“That it is, my girl. But a few months from now, you’ll look back and hopefully sigh in relief because you’ll be happy with the man that you’re supposed to be with.”
Karen always knows what to say to stop the gloom from settling in. I just wish that I could be more, I don’t know, outgoing.
“As much as I shouldn’t be encouraging you right now,” she gives me a soft smile, “I think you need to reply to that text message and tell him what he wants to hear. If you don’t, you might regret it.”
“I don’t have anything to feel badly over when it’s just coffee, right?” I don’t wait for her to reply because I’m really asking myself the question. If I have anything to feel guilty over, then it should be for the few hours that I spent in Jace’s arms on his sofa last night.
After a few more messages going back and forth with Jace, we agree to meet three hours from now in a coffee shop that is close to his brother’s roadhouse. He must be visiting family, maybe. Or, like me, he could want to make sure we have our privacy without being seen.
I’m not sure I’m made for sneaking around because my gut is churning now that I’ve agreed.
“Look behind you,” Karen breaks into my nervousness and startles me. Turning, everything else is forgotten when I see Tammy clutching her bunny with her thumb in her mouth, staring at me.
I smile and hold my arms out toward her. I’m delighted, and feel close to tears, when she launches herself into my arms.
“Oh, sweet baby girl. I’ve missed you.” I hold her tight, and place a kiss on her forehead. “You smell like strawberries.”
“Karen washed my hair, and I played with bubbles in the bath.”
I glance at Karen, and see her eyes fill with tears, which she manages to blink away.
“That you did, Tammy…Bath time was fun last night. I can’t remember the last time I bathed someone and actually enjoyed it.”
“I liked you bathing me,” she says to Karen before she takes my face into her hands, the ears of her bunny clutched in one of her hands, and says, “but next time will you bathe me?”
My heart breaks a little bit more at the longing in this little girl. Every time I have to walk away and leave her, I feel like I’m hurting her. I seriously want to wrap her up in my arms and take her with me. I’d keep her forever if I could, and Karen knows this.
“I’m sure that can be arranged.” I kiss her on the forehead. “What do you have planned for today?”
While she tells me about a teddy bears picnic, I can’t stop the idea of trying to keep her, legally, from rolling around in my head. It’s been something that I’ve been thinking about from the first moment I laid eyes on her.
Although I’ve been vetted by the home before I was allowed through the doors as a volunteer, I’m not sure my life is suitable for a small child.
&nbs
p; I know a lot of couples these days go out to work and use childcare facilities to look after their children, but, when going for legal guardianship or through an adoption process, the court wants to make sure that all the child’s needs will be met. I’m just not sure how I can do that when I work every day, except weekends and school vacations. I have some money saved, but I’m not sure it’s enough, especially if I have to pay a lawyer. It’s something to think about and, maybe, talk to Karen about. She’ll know the way to go, and if it’s possible.
Sighing heavily, I place Tammy back on the floor. Getting to my feet, I take hold of her delicate hand. “I’ll see you before I leave,” I say to Karen as I let Tammy lead me toward the door.
I don’t miss the sad look on Karen’s face as I leave to the main part of the home.
Chapter Six
Jace
Is it weird for a grown man to be both excited and terrified when he’s about to have coffee with the woman he’s obsessed with?
No!
Didn’t think so.
But fuck, this is weird. My stomach is in a tight knot as I wait for Savannah to arrive. I always like being early, which is why I’ve been sitting here for the past fifteen minutes. She isn’t late as there’s still ten minutes to go.
A couple of the girls keep throwing looks in my direction while they go about their work. I get the feeling that they’re trying to decide which one will come over and talk to me.
I told them on arrival that I was meeting someone here and would wait for them to arrive first before ordering, so I’m hoping that was enough to keep them away.
The crutches are still my buddy this afternoon, even after relaxing and spending the morning chilling with my brother and his new family. Dahlia is an amazing woman and I’m glad they finally got their misunderstandings out of the way in order to move forward.
I just hope that whatever is developing between Savannah and me can be moved forward as well. I’m going to have to put Savannah on the spot about her relationship with Richard because I need to know where I stand.
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