Sarah swallowed hard, seeing the longing in his eyes, feeling the emotion in him. “I’m sorry.”
He blinked and turned from the picture. “Cade stepped up when I needed him most. He stepped up on the ranch, I made him foreman, and he stepped up in my home. No one could ever replace my own son, but Cade would come around after a day’s work just to sit on the front porch with me and have a beer. It was Cade and Lainey and my friends who kept me going when I couldn’t go on. Cade became family. Sorry…I’m rambling, but the heart of what I want to tell you is that Cade doesn’t truly understand that when you love someone, it doesn’t matter what they can or can’t do for you.”
“What do you mean?”
“Like I said, he worked himself to the bone. After Tyler left, he distanced himself for a bit but worked even harder. At first I thought it was just because he was angry with Tyler, but after a while I confronted him. He was worried I’d fire him because Tyler was gone. He was proving his worth there on the ranch. I was shocked because he’d already earned everyone’s respect and he deserved his promotion. I couldn’t have run the place without him. But it wasn’t what he said that bothered me; it was that he thought he meant so little to me.
“I would have kept that boy on even if he couldn’t work anymore. I would have kept him on because he’d become family to me. I loved him, regardless of what he could offer me. He couldn’t believe me. He couldn’t believe that, because his entire damn life, he was only kept around while he could be useful to people, and then he was tossed out like yesterday’s trash.”
Sarah’s stomach swirled painfully. She wiped her sweating palms down the front of her jeans, nausea making her clench her teeth. Remembering every time Cade had gone above and beyond…which included him trying to find a way for her to hold on to the ranch. She squeezed her eyes shut and bowed her head, hating herself and the things she’d said to him. He was trying to prove his worth to her. As if his worth could ever be measured by a land deal. She had never met anyone like him, anyone who had ever made her feel truly alive and truly loved. And she had discarded him…
She took in a gulp of air and stood abruptly. “Thank you,” she managed to choke out.
“Don’t misinterpret what I’m saying, Sarah. I just wanted you to see that there is a more vulnerable side to that proud man. Don’t let pride on either side ruin what you have. I lost eight years with my son because of pride, and when I got my second chance, I almost blew it again. Life is too short to be afraid of taking chances, of not falling in love because of fear. When you find that special person, you hold on to them fierce.”
Sarah nodded rapidly, finding it impossible to speak. She reached out to squeeze his hand briefly and managed a wobbly smile before he stood and walked out of the diner.
She sat at that table, replaying everything Martin had told her. She finally knew, she understood, where Cade was coming from.
Chapter Nineteen
“Come on, Sarah, what have you got to lose?”
Sarah glanced up at Aiden and shook her head. “I really am not in the mood for the piano tonight. I’ll end up playing depressing music and get booed off the stage,” she said, finishing off what remained of her glass of wine. She had taken Lainey up on her offer to go to River’s and was currently sitting across the table from her new best friends. After eating a River’s burger on a gluten-free bun and a heaping portion of fries, she was at least feeling the calming effects from the comfort food and wine.
Aiden gave her an undeniably endearing, lopsided grin that had no effect on her. Only one guy’s grin could make her heart accelerate and her toes curl. “Just a song. The crowd loved you last time. Do you know how many requests I get for you to come back here and play? Which, by the way, is an option anytime.”
Sarah smiled. “That’s really flattering. I’m honestly touched. I just can’t do it tonight.”
He held up his hands. “Okay, but if you change your mind, just give me a signal and that piano is all yours.”
After he was out of earshot, Hope leaned forward. “Would you ever consider playing here on a regular basis? That sounds like it could be fun. You were amazing.”
Sarah shook her head. “I don’t like crowds. But who knows? Maybe in the future.”
“I have to say I kind of miss singing, not that I ever performed…after Brian died. Now I just stick to rousing renditions of ‘The Wheels on the Bus,’” Hope said with a laugh before she took a long sip of wine.
“I didn’t know you could sing,” Sarah said.
“Well, those days are long gone, I guess.” Hope glanced over at Lainey, who was frantically typing on her phone. “What’s with the emergency texts?”
Lainey looked up, her face red, her eyes slightly panicked. “There, um, might be an unexpected situation happening. I’m trying really hard to fix it.”
Sarah’s back stiffened. “Oh no, what kind of situation?”
“The Cade kind,” Lainey said.
Sarah sucked in a breath. “He’s coming here?”
Lainey sighed. “I’m sorry. They’re all coming. I told Tyler it wasn’t a good night and that you were here, but he’s insisting. I think he’s trying to help.”
Sarah put her elbows on the table and her head in her hands. “I can’t see him, you guys. Everything Martin told me about him made my heart break and I almost went to him, but…I can’t humiliate myself again. I told him I loved him and not only did he not say it back, he told me he wasn’t interested. I can’t grovel. I just can’t. There is not enough wine in your stash here to make seeing Cade okay.”
Hope patted her on the back. “It’s no problem. We can leave. You can come back to my place. Sadie is sleeping over at my parents’ house.”
“Too late. They’re here,” Lainey said, her voice heavy, grim, as though announcing that Aiden had stopped importing their wine.
Not a minute later, Cade, Tyler, and Dean walked into River’s and headed their way.
“Your hair looks really great. And I love what you’re wearing,” Lainey said to Sarah with a hopeful smile.
Sarah sighed. “Thanks. I did the beachy waves thing and went to the effort of putting on mascara.” Sarah frowned at her glass and empty plate of food. No. There was no way she was going to sit here with Cade and pretend like everything was normal. She stood abruptly. “I’m playing the piano. Hope, do you want to sing?”
Hope broke out into a gorgeous smile. “I don’t think there’s a better time to get reintroduced to the stage.”
“I can’t believe you guys are doing this! I’m so excited,” Lainey squealed.
“Just make sure you clap even if we get booed,” Hope said, finger-combing her hair frantically.
“Obviously. I’ll force Ty to clap, too. Don’t worry,” Lainey said, giving them a shove.
“I think I have the perfect song for us,” Hope said, wrapping one arm around Sarah’s shoulders.
They weaved their way through the crowd. Excitement raced through Sarah’s body in a way that it hadn’t in years. This version of herself was one she had never known as an adult—the last time she’d been fearless, she was a child. She hadn’t revisited that girl in years, but she was back; she was going to reclaim her. She didn’t need Cade to survive.
She watched as Hope spoke to Aiden, and then she glanced over at Lainey and knew that this was all the beginning of her new life, with real friends, daring to go in front of a crowd.
Hope came back over to her. “You ready to do this?” she asked, shoving Sarah her phone with the music to her selected song.
Sarah read the title, a smile slowly forming, before she looked back up at her friend. “Let’s do it.”
…
“Cade, it can’t be that bad,” Lainey said, leaning across the table to pat him on the shoulder like he was a lost puppy.
“Oh, it’s actually way worse,” Tyler said.
Lainey punched him, and show-off that he was, he grabbed his wife’s hand and kissed it. Cade scowled because he remembered doing something similar to Sarah, and now that was so far from where he was. But Tyler was right; it was way worse than even Lainey was thinking. He’d wanted to talk to her and try to get her to at least hear him out so he could go through with his plan, but she’d walked away before he reached the table.
“What are they doing?” Cade asked, his eyes fixed on Sarah and Hope as they talked to Aiden near the piano. Sarah looked even more beautiful tonight if that was possible, or maybe he was just starved to see her. He’d missed her so damn much. Her hair fell in those soft waves like the night of Lainey’s party, and he smiled remembering how she’d yelled at him for not noticing after her hair got all wet. But he’d noticed everything.
She was wearing a V-neck navy T-shirt and dark jeans that hugged her body and made him ache with his need for her. He was a fool.
Lainey gave him an excited smile. “Aiden was over here asking if Sarah would play tonight. She turned him down, but then Hope kind of encouraged her, and now Hope is going to sing along.”
“Hope can sing?” Dean asked.
“Oh yeah. She has an amazing voice,” Lainey said, turning in her chair to look at them.
“Why doesn’t she ever perform?” Tyler asked.
Lainey turned back to them and slowly twirled the stem of her wineglass. “She stopped when Brian died,” she said softly.
None of them said anything for a minute, just sat there silently watching Hope and Sarah set up. Life was this crazy mix of highs and lows, and no matter where you came from, how much money you had, you couldn’t escape them. But you had to keep going, like Hope just kept on going, for herself, for her little girl. Like how they all kept on going. He’d been alone in the past, and he knew for certain that he’d rather be drinking with friends at a bar any day than by himself.
He smiled slightly as he watched Sarah sit down on the piano bench. Her face wasn’t pale like that first night she’d played. Her shoulders were back, and she was laughing at something Aiden and Hope said. She was the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen; she made him believe that he deserved more in life. But now he just had to make her believe in him again, that he could give her what she needed.
His stomach dropped when Sarah played the first notes of their song.
Lainey gasped.
Tyler shook his head, doing a poor job of hiding his smile.
Dean sank down a little farther in his chair and turned to him. “You’re toast.”
“I Will Survive” was not exactly the song choice he’d been hoping for and frankly, he didn’t think he’d ever heard any kind of disco song in River’s. Ever. But as soon as Hope’s throaty, sultry voice filled the room, telling them all about how she’d felt sorry for herself but that she’d changed now, you couldn’t hear a pin drop.
It took all Cade’s self-control to keep his ass in the chair and his mouth shut, because he wanted to walk right out of there, as Hope kept belting out that he should just walk out the door while Sarah played like a pro.
Tyler and Lainey kept giving him pitiful glances while Dean’s eyes were fixed on Hope. Clearly, Sarah had been right about that, too.
When the song ended, the entire place was silent for a long moment. Then Lainey stood from her chair and whistled, and River’s Saloon, deep in rural Montana, went crazy for Sarah and Hope’s performance. He forced himself to stand, to make his move before he lost his nerve, but then the two of them started up another song, and he sat his ass back down.
Except this time Lainey shook her head and covered her face for a second. Tyler put his arm around her and whispered something in her ear. She nodded and gave him a kiss.
“What’s wrong?” Dean asked, his eyes still on Hope.
“That song she’s singing? That was her and Brian’s song,” she said with a sad smile.
Dean froze for a second and then pulled a twenty out of his wallet and stood. “I, uh, I better get going. I just got called into the hospital.”
Cade didn’t want to rat his friend out because there was clearly something going on, but he knew for a fact that he wasn’t on call tonight. Normally he would have gone with him, but tonight he had a bigger problem to solve.
He had to convince Sarah that he’d been wrong. After Dean left, he slowly weaved his way through the tables, the feeling in his gut unlike one he’d ever had before. When the song ended, he almost smiled at the sound of the enthusiastic crowd, but he was anticipating Sarah shutting him down. Aiden appeared, and Cade overheard the man asking the two women to be regulars on Friday nights. Hope and Sarah looked at each other and then burst into smiles, hugged each other, and agreed.
Happiness for them flooded him, and he watched the woman who a little over a month ago, without a friend in the world, with the weight of the past keeping her silent and sad, turn into the woman she was meant to be.
He took a few steps forward, and Sarah made eye contact with him. His muscles tightened, and he rolled his shoulders as he closed the gap between them. “Hi.”
Hope gave him a wink and walked away.
Sarah lifted her chin, and her gorgeous green eyes were void of the usual warmth. “Hello.”
“You and Hope were great together,” he said.
“Thank you. I’m going to get going. It was nice to see you,” she said, lying politely.
“Sarah…will you give me two hours?”
She glanced away for a moment, and he shoved his hands in his pockets, trying not to panic because he had no idea what he’d do if she turned him down. “Two hours? For what?”
“To explain myself, to apologize, to just hear me out.”
She sighed and looked deep into his eyes, reminding him of how she’d done that very early on, how he’d almost squirmed under her gaze because it made him think that she would see the man he used to be, the kid he once was. “Cade…”
“I’m sorry. I’m so damn sorry for everything. Just come with me. Two hours, that’s all I’m asking for.”
She nodded, and he let out a breath. He knew he couldn’t just reach for her, grab her hand, but he wanted to hold her again so badly. Instead, he just motioned to the door, following her outside. He glanced over at their table of friends, and the three of them gave him a thumbs-up before he walked out the door.
The cool night air was exactly what he needed against his hot skin. Holding open the door for Sarah, he prayed he could pull this off. Once they were on the road, she turned to him, breaking the silence. “Any clues as to where you’re taking me?”
He gave her a quick glance before returning his eyes to the road. He didn’t want to miss the turnoff. “Nope. I have this all planned out. Telling you will ruin it.”
She didn’t reply, and they drove in silence for the next twenty minutes.
When the Highwayman sign came into view, he clenched the steering wheel, bracing himself for her reaction. Carl had better have come through for him. He wasn’t even going to acknowledge just how low he’d sunk when his life plans involved Carl.
“Are you kidding me, Cade, the Highwayman?”
He kept his mouth shut. He pulled into the parking lot, in front of the room they’d had last time, and hoped like hell he could pull this off.
Chapter Twenty
Cade quickly hopped out of the truck before Sarah could yell at him and went around to her side. She was already standing by the truck glaring at him. “I’m trying really hard to think you have the best of intentions here.”
The door to the motel room swung open, and Carl stood there smiling. He was clean-shaven, his hair was combed and slicked back, and he was wearing a clean button-down shirt with a pair of skinny jeans that may not have been the best look but were still a vast improvement from the pleated polyester pants he’d been wearing last time.
He spread his arms wide. “In the flesh. Nice to see you again, Sarah.”
“Carl, you look fantastic! You look so happy!” she said, hurrying over to him. Cade didn’t move. He really loved this part of Sarah. He hadn’t known it the night she tried to give Carl marital advice, but he loved how nonjudgmental she was, how genuinely caring she was. He had missed so many things about her.
Carl actually blushed beneath Sarah’s gaze, and if Cade weren’t so nervous, he might have even had a chuckle about it. “Well, I can’t take all the credit for it. You kids reminded me how important my marriage was. But it was all Cade who helped me get this new look.”
Sarah turned slowly to him, her eyes wide. “You went shopping with Carl?”
Cade shrugged but took it as a good sign that she seemed impressed by that. “Technically, no. I just guided him to some online shopping items. He went rogue with the skinny jeans, though,” Cade said, shooting Carl a look.
Carl smiled sheepishly. “Sorry, but Mary Beth really likes them.”
Sarah laughed and patted him on the shoulder. “I’m so happy for you both.”
Carl rubbed the back of his neck, his face still red. “Well, thank you. Now I’m going to repay the favor to my new friends.” He gave him a wink—again, nothing Cade had approved of—and opened the door wider. Cade hoped like hell that he’d followed instructions and hadn’t gone rogue on anything else.
Sarah stepped in and gasped.
Following her in, Cade surveyed the room. Carl gave Cade a thumbs-up before he quietly left, shutting the door behind him. Sarah hadn’t said anything yet, but he could see she was taking in the arrangements of roses—the flowers she’d told Carl were a safe bet if you didn’t know a person’s favorite—the picnic basket on the middle of the bed that he’d had filled with gluten-free versions of her favorites, and also the new white cotton bedding that he’d given Carl strict instructions for, and maybe she even noticed the lack of decorative pillows. On one of the nightstands was the same brand of organic wine that Lainey and Hope drank from River’s, with real wineglasses, and a bottle of her favorite strawberry hand sanitizer.
Cowboy For Hire Page 24