“They’re drilling for oil?” asked the general. “That’s ridiculous. There is no oil out there.”
“Water,” I corrected. “They say they want to build a swimming pool because it’s hot out here.”
“You believe them?” asked General Kalipetsis.
“They’re right. It is hot.”
“No!” General Kalipetsis yelled. “I mean, do you believe they are building a swimming pool?”
“Of course not,” I answered. “They must be up to something else.”
“I agree. I am sending you a company of engineers to build permanent barracks and to establish a secure border. Be alert. The spiders are up to no good. I am also sending our own drilling equipment to take some core samples. If there is anything valuable under the New Gobi Desert, I want to reach it first.”
“That’s a good idea. Send some Geiger counters, too. Maybe they’re looking for uranium.”
“The engineers will be escorted by another company of mechanized infantry,” advised General Kalipetsis. “I want to be able to reinforce the DMZ before the spiders do the same. When the engineers are done building your new home, start them to work on a permanent paved road. I want to be able to truck supplies to you on a regular basis.”
“Can I have a swimming pool too?” I asked. “The spiders had a good idea about drilling a well. You would not believe how hot it gets in the desert.”
“What?” asked General Kalipetsis. “No! This is the Legion, not a country club. Focus on the job at hand. Find out why the spiders are interested in New Gobi.”
“Yes, sir!”
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Chapter 2
I was told that a VIP would be arriving, so I waited at our new airstrip for his plane. The VIP arrived with our supplies on a shuttle. He was a very large and cheerful-looking man. Kind of reminded me of Santa Claus.
“Good morning, Major. My name is Ronald Carter,” he said, shaking my hand. “I represent the McDonald’s Corporation.”
“The aircraft maker?” I asked.
“No,” said Carter. “We make hamburgers. You are thinking of McDonnell-Douglas Aircraft. We are much bigger than them.”
“I hope you brought us some happy meals,” I said. “I’m starving.”
“McDonald’s wants to be the first restaurant in New Gobi,” continued Carter. “General Kalipetsis told me to contact you about acquiring a prime building site.”
“Build anywhere you want,” I said. “See those two guard shacks facing each other? That’s the border. Everything on this side is United States Galactic Federation territory.”
“I am interested in a border location so we can serve both human and spider customers,” said Carter. “Good relations with the spiders is important to McDonald’s.”
“I heard the insurgents have been bombing restaurants,” I said. “Why do you want to build here? There is nothing in New Gobi, and we are on the front line.”
“You are here,” said Carter. “And I hear more legionnaires are on the way. McDonald’s feels safe being surrounded by so many hungry soldiers.”
“But we might deploy elsewhere at any time,” I argued. “This is all temporary. I’m still living in a tent.”
“Maybe, maybe not,” said Carter. “I hear you are building a highway through town. I see big things happening to New Gobi City. Construction will begin immediately.”
* * * * *
The only unusual activity I noticed on the spider side was a large tent at the edge of their camp. It had a guard posted outside at the front. I wanted to know what was going on inside the tent, and decided Guido was the man for the job. “Corporal Tonelli, I heard you have been getting chummy with the spiders,” I said, nodding across the border to the other guard shack. “Find out what the spiders are doing in that circus tent next to their camp.”
“Rumors are that it’s a large motor pool for vehicle repair,” said Guido. “I’ve seen lots of trucks come and go from there.”
“Satellite photos show that none of the trucks enter the tent,” I said. “Ask your buddy what they’re doing in there.”
Guido shrugged and walked to the other guard shack. He was meaning to visit anyway, being that the spiders had air-conditioning in their shack and outbuildings.
“What’s in the big tent?” asked Guido. “My commander wants to know.”
“I heard a rumor there is a crashed shuttle that is being repaired,” replied the spider guard. “But the tent was there before I arrived, and they do not allow me inside.”
“Aren’t you curious about what they’re doing in there?” asked Guido.
“It is not my job to be curious,” said the spider guard, shrugging. “Curiosity killed the lizard.”
“Can you find out for sure?” asked Guido. “I’ll pay you a thousand dollars to check it out.”
“You want me to spy for you human pestilence?” asked the spider guard. “No way.”
“How about for two thousand dollars?” asked Guido. “It wouldn’t really be spying. You would just be doing me a favor. If there is really something top secret going on inside the tent, you don’t have to tell me about it. I’ll understand. I just want Major Czerinski off my back about it. He’s paranoid about that tent, and thinks you all are up to no good out here.”
“I will look into it,” promised the spider guard. “For five thousand dollars.”
When Guido left, the spider guard immediately reported their conversation to his commanding officer.
“Why did you tell the human pestilence we were working on a crashed shuttle?” asked the spider commander. “It is an obvious lie.”
“Because Guido did not believe my story about the tent being a motor pool,” explained the spider guard.
“Why not just tell Guido the truth?” asked the spider commander. “It would have lessened tension. We do not need more Legion guns on the DMZ. I agree that Czerinski is paranoid. But he is dangerous, too.”
“I was just messing with him,” said the spider guard. “Besides, Guido said the Legion would leave once they were satisfied we are not doing anything sinister out here.”
“You do not want them to leave?” asked the commander, incredulously.
“It is boring out here,” replied the spider guard. “Are we doing anything under that tent that I should be concerned about?”
“Now you ask that question?” said the spider commander. “It is on our side of the DMZ. We will do as we please. It is none of the Legion’s business.”
“You told us the tent was to provide shade and quarters for civilian mining engineers taking core samples out in the desert,” said the spider guard. “I never questioned that explanation. I do now.”
“You had no need to be told otherwise,” said the spider commander. “You still do not.”
“What shall I tell Guido?” asked the spider guard. “What is the truth?”
“Tell Guido you want ten thousand dollars,” answered the spider commander. “Tell him we are digging up fossils. I will split the money with you.”
“Is that the truth?” asked the spider guard. “Fossils?”
“That was an order,” said the spider commander. “Do not ever question one of my orders again.”
* * * * *
The spider military intelligence officer had been viewing satellite photos all morning, prior to his briefing with the governor. Now he was ready for his presentation. “It appears the Legion is building a base along the DMZ in the New Gobi Desert,” announced the military intelligence officer. “We have a small company of marines at the scene. Our local commander requests reinforcements. He says the human pestilence is threatening to overwhelm his defenses.”
“We posted that fool out there to keep him out of trouble,” commented the governor. “He’s some sort of shirt-tail relative to the Emperor. I see now that fool can find trouble anywhere. What I want to know is, why is the Legion building a base in the New Gobi Desert?”
“The New Gobi has no strategic
value,” advised the military intelligence officer. “But look at this photo. The human pestilence were digging a long rectangular hole between these buildings. It was lined with cement, then covered by a tent. And, they are constructing a highway to New Gobi.”
“Could that hole be a command bunker or a missile silo?” asked the governor.
“I have instructed our local commander to find out,” said the military intelligence officer.
“Send an armored battalion to reinforce the DMZ in the New Gobi,” ordered the governor. “And station an Air Wing squadron for support. That highway they are building is proof that the Legion is bringing in more troops and equipment. They are up to no good!”
“I agree,” said the military intelligence officer. “And look at this outrage! Right on the border! Do you see it? Golden Arches.”
“What?” asked the governor. “What does it mean?”
“It is one of their major food distribution centers,” explained the military intelligence officer. “The Golden Arches have the capacity to feed thousands.”
“Those bastards!” fumed the governor. “What is the human pestilence up to this time?”
* * * * *
“Our scientists are digging up fossils,” reported the spider guard, when he met with Guido. “That is all.”
“Fossils?” asked Guido. “Do you mean like dinosaurs?”
“Old bones and stuff like that,” said the spider guard. “I could not get a lot of details.”
“Do you expect me to pay ten thousand dollars for a bogus story like that?” asked Guido. “Why are Arthropodan marines guarding a fossil dig?”
“I do not know,” said the spider guard. “Perhaps the fossils are valuable, and the scientists need protection from bandits. We are very serious about our history.”
“Did you eyeball the inside of the tent yourself? Or is your story just more second-hand rumors?”
“A very reliable source told me,” said the spider guard. “I cannot tell you who.”
“For ten thousand dollars you had better tell me who, and a lot more,” said Guido. “I’ll give you half the money now, and half later when you bring me a fossil. I need proof. Major Czerinski is not going to buy your fossil story without proof.”
“I will try,” said the spider guard. “But it will not be easy. The tent is guarded.”
“And find out why security is so tight if there is nothing but dust and bones in that tent,” demanded Guido. “Find out about the guard postings, too.”
* * * * *
Guido passed the information about the spiders’ secret tent to me, and I discussed the matter by phone with General Kalipetsis.
“I do not see any military value in prehistoric fossils,” said General Kalipetsis. “What would they do with old bones?”
“The guard said they take their history seriously,” I said. “Or maybe it’s all a lie, and they’re just jerking us around.”
“What history?” asked General Kalipetsis. “The spiders are not from New Colorado. We were here first. This was a dead planet before we arrived.”
“That is it!” exclaimed Captain Lopez, listening in on the conversation. “The dig is not prehistoric, and they are not looking for bones. The spiders are digging up old exoskeletons. They aim to prove that the spiders were here first, long before humanity terraformed New Colorado.”
“They could assert a rightful claim to the whole planet!” added General Kalipetsis. “That is not going to happen! I am sending more of the First Division to the New Gobi Desert. I want that dig stopped now.”
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Chapter 3
“My name is James Grigg,” announced the field representative from Walmart. “I hope to locate a new superstore right here in New Gobi City. Next to the highway at the border would be perfect.”
I looked out my office window at the Golden Arches towering over Guido’s guard shack. “Sorry, but that spot has already been taken by the McDonald’s Corporation. Don’t worry. There are lots of other prime sites available.”
“Walmart needs that border site to properly serve both sides of the DMZ,” insisted Grigg. “General Kalipetsis assured me you could make it happen.”
“The hamburger flippers got here first,” I explained. “What can I say?”
“Would ten thousand dollars persuade you to change your mind?” asked Grigg. “I need that site.”
“Is that check or cash?” asked Captain Lopez.
“We don’t accept bribes,” I said, frowning at Lopez. “McDonald’s was here first. There is nothing I can do.”
“How about twenty thousand dollars and a complementary Sam’s Club membership card?” asked Grigg. “This is a very time-sensitive issue. I want to begin construction this week. Crews are already on the way. I was told I could work with you.”
“I can’t take your money,” I said. “But if you could do me a favor, I will see what I can do. The insurgency destroyed an automated lighthouse south of New Memphis. Order your construction crews to rebuild that lighthouse, and I will order McDonald’s to move their site.”
“Major Czerinski, we have a deal,” said Grigg, shaking my hand and briskly leaving to inspect the site of New Gobi’s new Walmart superstore.
“What are you going to tell McDonald’s?” asked Captain Lopez.
“Place Ronald Carter under arrest and bring him to me,” I ordered. “Tell Carter he is under arrest for health code violations.”
* * * * *
Captain Lopez and a squad of legionnaires arrested Ronald Carter at the construction site and dragged him to my office. All construction was halted.
“This is outrageous!” complained Carter. “What is the meaning of this?”
“There has been an Escherichia coli bacterial outbreak at the last restaurant you opened,” I said.
“At the DMZ site near Waterstone?” asked Carter. “I was not advised of this.”
“That’s the one!” I exclaimed, pounding my desk with my fist. “You have now been advised. I am holding you personally responsible. And, as a precaution, I am stopping all construction of your new McDonald’s until your legal problems are resolved.”
“What legal problems?” asked Carter. “How much? I’ll just pay the fine and be done with it.”
“We have orders to shoot you at dawn,” advised Captain Lopez.
“This is a joke. Right?” asked Carter. “It better be a joke. I am a well-respected businessman, and a personal friend of General Kalipetsis. Can’t we work something out?”
“I don’t see how,” I said. “Someone has to take the blame. The E. coli has even killed spiders.”
“How come this is the first I have heard of an E. coli outbreak?” asked Carter.
“There are national security issues,” I said. “We are trying to prevent a panic, and possibly even a new war. If the spiders think you tried to use biological warfare against them, it would be bad for everyone. They are very sensitive about fecal contamination.”
“Brown floaters in the New Mississippi River drive them crazy,” added Captain Lopez.
“Please, I’ll do anything to help,” said Carter. “What can I do?”
“McDonald’s needs to keep a low profile for now,” I suggested. “Out of sight, out of mind. Quietly move your construction site and those Golden Arches away from the border crossing. The Arthropodan commander has already announced he will blow it up with cannon fire.”
“I’ll do it,” said Carter. “Anything else?”
“The spiders want a million dollars compensation for families of the deceased,” added Captain Lopez, greedily. “It’s a fair amount. We negotiated them down from fifty million dollars.”
“I can authorize that,” said Carter. “It’s fair.”
“We will try to hush up the matter as much as possible,” I said. “But there will always be rumors. Do not discuss this with anyone.”
“Don’t worry,” said Carter. “I won’t. Thank you so much for your cooperation
and help in this matter.”
As Carter left, I turned to Captain Lopez. “What next? I feel like I have been appointed Mayor of Tammany Hall.”
“You are the Military Governor of New Gobi City,” replied Captain Lopez. “I am the mayor.”
“Whatever,” I said, rising to greet the next person through my door, and to shake his hand.
“I am Pastor Jim. I hope to be the first to build a church in New Gobi. I have already picked a site on a hill overlooking the whole valley,” announced Pastor Jim.
“What denomination?” I asked.
“The Church of Scientology,” said Pastor Jim. “Being leading citizens of New Gobi, I expect both of you to attend my first services.”
“I’m catholic,” announced Captain Lopez, crossing himself. “It would be a sin for me to attend. I can’t afford any more bad marks, if I expect to get into Heaven.”
“I do my praying at the casino,” I replied. “And I make my donations there, too.”
“There are no casinos in New Gobi,” advised Pastor Jim. “Until one is built, you will attend services and be prominently seated in the front pew. There is a whole lot of moral rejuvenation that needs to be done around here, and I will start with you. In spite of what I have heard, I believe you are basically good and have unlimited capability for good. I will work to help you attain brotherhood with the universe through the technology of the mind.”
“Yes, sir,” I said, feeling trapped. What did I do to deserve this?
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Chapter 4
“Do you know anything about an E. coli outbreak?” asked General Kalipetsis, during my weekly report. “The spider governor personally asked me about it. He says there are rumors of thousands of casualties, and that the Legion is doing a massive cover-up.”
America's Galactic Foreign Legion - Book 4: Demilitarized Zone Page 2