by Alix Hadden
She walked over to Zach, and took the tea mug gently out of his hand. "C'mon Zach. Let's get you somewhere comfy."
Zach looked up at her, still looking bemused. "Kir?"
"He's right here, see?" She gave Kir a significant look and beckoned him over. "We're going back to Kir's. Hot baths and curry all round."
Zach smiled at her, and at Kir, and Ali gave Kir another significant look.
It didn't help. Zach might be pleased to see Kir now, but that didn't mean that he still would be once he was fully compos mentis again and he understood what Kir had done.
"Absolutely not," Ali said, once they were back in Kir's flat. They'd walked Zach into the bathroom, left him to use the loo, and were arguing in whispers in the hallway. "I agree, he shouldn't be sitting in a bath full of water on his own. But you've seen the guy naked before. I haven't. That would be a much worse invasion of his privacy, I promise you, whatever nonsense it is that you're fussing about right now."
"It's not nonsense," Kir protested, but Ali carried on straight over him.
"You get him into the bath. I am going to phone for curry."
"Okay," Kir said reluctantly. "Do you need my card?"
"Memorised the details ages ago," Ali said, breezing out of the bathroom. "Ever wondered whether you should check your statements more carefully?"
Kir couldn't help grinning, despite the weight of worry he was carrying, then went back into the bathroom, where Zach had slid down onto the floor, to sit propped up against the side of the bath.
"Hey Kir," he said. "Sorry I'm so wiped out."
"Not your fault," Kir assured him. "Really, definitely, not your fault. I was going to run you a bath, okay?"
Zach gave him a half-smile. "Getting me naked, huh?"
"I'm not going to take advantage of you," Kir said. "You're shattered."
"Aw, too bad," Zach said, and Kir felt slightly sick again. Zach just didn't understand, yet. He didn't understand what Kir had done.
It was hard, though, not to touch Zach while helping him undress. It was hard not to run his hands over Zach's legs, over his chest; to reassure himself that Zach really was still whole.
"Sure you don't wanna join me?" Zach asked, and it took a heroic effort to turn him down.
"I'll jump in the shower," Kir said. "You're colder than I am." If not any dirtier.
He started off showering as fast as he could, keeping an eye on Zach, stretched out under a pile of bubbles in the tub with his eyes closed, wearing a blissful expression, while he did so. He kept having horrible visions of Zach falling asleep and sliding under the water.
Absurd. People didn't drown in baths, not like that. This was just him fussing, again, wasn't it? He took a deep breath and made himself slow down, take his time luxuriating in hot water and peppermint shower gel, cleaning every scrap of mud off. If -- if -- Zach forgave him for what he'd done at the building site, Kir still needed to remember to trust Zach, to stop worrying so damn much.
By the time he was done, he wasn't sure that Zach wasn't asleep.
"Hey Ali," he called round the corner of the door.
"Curry on its way," Ali called back. "What do you want? I'm sitting down."
And she had a screwed up leg, yes. "It's fine, don't worry."
Kir put their filthy clothes in the wash and got Zach something clean to wear before waking him up again. He'd been right, Zach really was asleep. Kir helped him out of the bath, got him dried off, with only marginal cooperation from Zach himself, who was pretty uncoordinated by now, and into a spare pair of trackie bottoms and a T shirt.
He steered Zach out of the bathroom and into the living room.
"Excellent," Ali said, leaping up from the sofa with undue alacrity for someone with a dodgy foot. "My turn. Uh, Kir, I protected your sofa, but now you probably want to shove that towel there in the wash. I'm quite grubby. Also, I got the big bottle of Coke out of your fridge. You should probably have some, too. It really helps."
Kir rescued the offending towel, installed Zach on the sofa, and found a blanket to tuck on top of him. Zach curled an arm around Kir's neck and pulled him in for a drowsy kiss. Kir obliged, unable to bring himself to refuse. But he felt like a heel throughout, however blissful it was to feel Zach's mouth on his.
After Zach released him, he sat on the end of the sofa, by Zach's feet, and stared at the wall, doing his best not to think, in between gulps of Coke. Ali was right, the sugar-water did help. It didn't help enough.
"I'll head off once we've eaten and he's woken up again," Ali said, once she emerged from the bathroom and slumped down onto the armchair. "Because I really don't think the two of you need me here."
"He might want you to take him back home," Kir said. "When he realises..."
Ali rolled her eyes, again. "Let's worry about that if it happens, okay? Wake him up for the curry and talk to him after that." She sighed. "I can't tell you how badly I want a beer, but given that we've all drained ourselves a fair bit this evening, I'd probably better save it for tomorrow. Go and get me some water, though, could you? I think I've had enough fizzy stuff for one evening."
"What are we going to do about Matt?" Kir asked once he'd returned from the kitchen with the water. He got a sudden flashback of him and Zach and the mud beast that had attacked through his sink. Zach had been awesome that time, too. Zach was awesome. And Kir wasn't. That was what it boiled down to. He felt sick.
"God, I dunno," Ali said. "He was stupid, and probably a bit -- selfish? Grasping? But I don't think he was deliberately trying to hurt anyone."
"He kept going even after I told him about the attacks, though," Kir said.
"Yeah. If he'd just 'fessed up then and helped us, we could have avoided all of this. No argument there. But he said a couple of things while you were down there dealing with it -- I think he was hoping he could fix it up himself, mostly. But it seems rather his idea of fixing it himself was to pull all the power out and use it himself, or something, and I am pretty sure that would not have worked the way he was hoping."
Kir winced. "No."
"So...I guess it's going to have to be a jury of his peers, kinda thing. Talking to the others. But we should talk to him about it tomorrow, check we're not missing anything before we go to town."
Kir sighed. "He was a friend. I don't really want to do this to him."
"Yeah. Look, if we do talk to everyone, we can argue for clemency, if we think it's warranted. But Kir -- he fucked up big time, you know? You, me, Zach, we could all have been badly hurt. And a lot more people besides. It was bloody lucky it wasn't worse than it was. We can't just wave our hands and let him off with a warning."
Kir nodded. "I know. Well. I guess we'll deal with it tomorrow. It's not like he can avoid it now."
"Not orthodox, I know, but it worked, right?" Ali said.
"He's given you a huge amount of power over him," Kir said severely.
"He knew that when he chose it, and he preferred that to getting Priya in straight away."
Kir remembered that he'd never got around to telling Ali about the challenge business. Well. Time enough to sort that out tomorrow. He had no idea how it would interact with the current situation, and he couldn't face trying to work it out right now.
"Which is very sensible of him," Ali carried on, "because I am willing to bet Priya would have gone for something more drastic, like limitation of draw or something. Which I didn't do."
"I noticed that. Why not?"
"Calculated gamble. I can get him back to me, if he tries anything. And if he does try anything, that's a pretty good sign that clemency isn't warranted. If he behaves -- that's useful information too."
Ali could be casually ruthless, sometimes. Kir knew that, yet it still sometimes surprised him.
The doorbell went.
"I'll get it," Ali said, getting up and hobbling towards the door. "You get some plates and eating irons and stuff, and wake up Sleeping Beauty there. He'll want some water, too."
It felt a
bit cruel to wake Zach, but Kir did it anyway, and Zach's eyes brightened at the idea of curry. He sat up, and once all three of them had plates full of food, cuddled into Kir's side a bit as he started eating. Kir desperately wanted to talk about it now, to make sure that Zach knew what had happened, to finally break everything and watch Zach walk away, but Zach needed to eat first. That was what it was, and not a desperate need to feel Zach next to him for as long as possible.
He barely tasted his curry.
"So!" Ali said brightly, once the curry was done. "I'm off now. See you tomorrow, Kir! Uh -- you remember we need to sort out the whole thing with River, right?"
Which, if they could do magic again -- well, hopefully Ali was right and it would be easy to fix.
"Matt, River, any other mopping up. Tomorrow. Right you are," Kir said. Well, that was going to take the entire day, then. Good thing he was still just about ahead on work.
"Bye, Zach! Hope you're feeling a bit better!"
She was out of the door before Kir could try to find a way to ask her to stay, in case Zach told Kir to get lost, once he understood everything, and then needed someone to help him get home.
Dammit.
"Wow, that really hit the spot," Zach said, leaning back into Kir. "I can't believe just how exhausted I was feeling. Didn't seem like I did all that much, but...is it always like that?" He waved a hand as Kir was trying to untangle his thoughts, and tongue, and work out what to say. "Never mind. Hey, right, how would bed strike you right now? Though," he gave a theatrical sigh, "I might have to mean just for sleeping."
"Look," Kir said, forcing the words out, his whole body tense. "I need -- I don't think you understand what happened, back there."
Zach raised an eyebrow. "Don't understand what? We got rid of the bad thing, right? I don't quite understand what you're going to do with Matt, but Ali seemed to think it was all in hand and I'm guessing you have special mage procedures you have to follow."
"Kind of," Kir said. "But that's not what I meant. Right at the end there -- I put you in danger."
"I chose to come down there," Zach said, his eyes narrowing. "I wanted to sort it too. It wasn't your decision, okay? You remember, we kind of had this discussion already? Don't baby me, Kir. You asked, I could have said no. I was happy to do it."
Kir shook his head. "I don't mean the digging out bit. You're right. You volunteered for that. I mean, I was worried about you, sure, but...look, honestly, I'm not trying to protect you. What I mean is, right at the end. When I was trying to destroy it, and you..."
"When I touched you," Zach said.
"I drained you," Kir said, miserably. "There wasn't enough energy around. It was sucking stuff in, there was mud everywhere, nothing green...I drained you. That's why you felt so awful. That's why you're still so tired. I took energy right out of you."
Zach had turned slightly, and was looking up at Kir. "You looked pretty exhausted yourself," he said. "So did Ali. So -- did you do anything that you didn't do to yourself? Did you do anything that didn't need to happen?"
"You don't understand," Kir said. "You can't just use someone else's energy. You can't. It's -- I drained you, Zach. You could have died."
"No," Zach said. He sat up a little, pulling away from Kir a little. Kir's stomach sank. This was it. This was Zach, realising what Kir had done, and not wanting to be around him any more. "You don't understand, Kir. I knew. I knew what was happening, I knew what you were trying to do. Remember, you said something to Ali, when you were shovelling biscuits down, before we went back down? I knew what you were doing to yourself, and I knew what I was doing when I helped, when I put my hands on yours. I -- okay, that's not true, I didn't know. But what you've said about energy before, and the way you and Ali were after the first round. I guessed that it might help, and I guessed how it might help. I volunteered."
"But you can't...I'm the mage, it's my responsibility."
"It is bloody well not," Zach said, and folded his arms. "Kir. You have to let me know what I am doing, okay? Remember that? Sure, I know less than you about magery, I'm not a mage, of course I'm not. But -- you can't keep me safe, because I'm not -- that's not your job. I'm not your property to be kept safe. I get to make those decisions for myself. Even if it comes to something like this, something that you think is your responsibility. You didn't do anything to me, or for me. I did it myself."
Kir was silent, wrestling with himself.
"But I hurt you," he said, finally.
"You are not listening," Zach said. "You didn't hurt me. I chose to put my power or energy or fucking chi or whatever it is into destroying that thing. You only hurt me the same way you hurt yourself -- we both chose what we wanted to do to defeat that thing. Now." His eyes were very bright, very clear. "You either say 'yes Zach, I respect your decision in this', or I get up and walk the hell out of here and don't come back."
Kir's stomach lurched.
"And if I say that?" he asked. "Will you -- will you stay?"
"Say it and mean it," Zach said. "Yes, of course, you idiot. I want to be with you. Haven't you got that yet? I'm -- I'm really into you." For the first time, he blushed a little, and looked away. "I like you a lot. But I'm not hanging around for you to treat me like a kid who can't look after himself."
"I want to look after you," Kir said, scrabbling desperately for truth. "I like you too. A lot." It felt terrifying, to say it. "So I want -- I want you to be safe."
"Yeah. I want you to be safe, too. But I'm not stood here agonising over the fact that I watched you climb down into a weird glowing hole and fight something I don't even understand. You've got skills I don't have, sure, but we're both grown adults and we're both responsible for ourselves. Yeah?" Zach's eyes softened. "We can both look after each other, you know? If we want to do that, I think we have to."
Kir took a long, shaky breath. "Yeah. Yeah. I...yes. Zach. I respect your decision in this."
Zach flung himself across the sofa at Kir, their bodies colliding, and Kir thought he might be able to see the sparks that lit up every place he could feel Zach's body against him, Zach's mouth on his, Zach's tongue licking into Kir's mouth.
"God, you're amazing," Kir said into Zach's mouth, and Zach's hands were already under Kir's T shirt, Kir's whole body lighting up under Zach's touch.
"You're not so bad yourself," Zach said, biting at Kir's lips. They tingled, and Kir felt it all the way down his spine. "And right now I really want you to fuck me."
Kir shivered all over, his cock, already halfway there, hardening further at Zach's words.
Zach was pulling his T-shirt up, his hands dancing over Kir's skin, circling his nipples. Kir hissed a breath and arched into Zach's touch. His own hands slid round onto Zach's back, up under his shirt, fingernails digging into Zach's back, and Zach made a noise deep in the back of his throat, then kissed the hinge of Kir's jaw, scraping his teeth along Kir's jawline.
They broke apart for long enough to get both of their shirts off, then fell back together. Kir felt ravenous, desperate to touch Zach's skin, to feel Zach's hands on his own skin. Zach captured his mouth, angling to deepen the kiss, and Kir found himself wrapping his arms around Zach, holding him closer. Zach ran his hands down the outside of Kir's arms, and Kir shivered. It felt improbably, implausibly good. His whole body felt like an erogenous zone now, Zach's touch enough to ignite that sensation of desire inside him.
"We could move this to the bedroom?" Zach suggested.
It was a good idea, but it did come with the downside that they would have to let go of one another for long enough to get there.
"Mm," Kir said. "Yes. Come on."
He jumped up and grabbed Zach's hand, pulling him up off the sofa. Zach came up willingly, smiling at him in a way that nearly had Kir pushing him back down onto the sofa again.
"You in some kind of hurry?" Zach said, teasingly.
"God yes," Kir said with feeling, and pulled Zach along the corridor into his bedroom.
They tumbled down
together onto the bed, arms and legs tangled. The weight of Zach's body on top of him lit Kir up right along his skin; then he wrapped his arms around Zach and rolled them both over.
"So hey," he said, "a moment ago you were saying something about me fucking you?"
"God, yes," Zach said fervently. "Any time you like."
But once Zach was stretched out naked on the bed, Kir's hunger subsided to a slow boil. He wanted to take his time now, to make Zach feel good, to make every inch of him feel good. Only once Zach was shaking and swearing under Kir's kisses did he reach for the lube and move his hand down towards Zach's arse, crooking just the first joint of his finger into Zach's hole.
"God, yes, please," Zach said, pushing down onto Kir's finger. Kir had to bite his lip for a moment to keep himself in control, then bent down to take Zach's cock into his mouth. Zach groaned and writhed under him, alternately pushing his cock into Kir's mouth and his arse down onto Kir's finger. By the time Kir had three fingers in him, stroking at his prostate, Zach was swearing and grabbing at Kir's hair.
"That is so good but I want you in me, right now," he gasped.
Kir gave Zach's cock a parting suck and backed off for long enough to put a condom on. The noise Zach made when Kir pulled his fingers out of Zach's arse was pure sex, a jolt of heat right to the base of his own cock.
For a moment he considered turning Zach over, but he wanted -- needed -- to be able to see Zach's face right now.
"Now would be good," Zach gasped, opening his eyes to grin impatiently at Kir.
Kir laughed, got between Zach's legs, and slid slowly into him, every inch a revelation. By the time he was all the way into Zach, Zach was arching up into him and moaning. Kir tried to keep it slow, to make it last, but the feel of Zach around him, Zach's head thrown back and his eyes shut, the tendons standing out on his neck as he alternately swore and begged Kir to go harder, more, was overwhelming. The final couple of minutes were a blur of sensation before Zach clenched around him and Kir felt Zach's cock spurting against his stomach, and then he too was coming, his arms wrapped around Zach and his face buried in Zach's neck.