“Thank you,” I said.
He nodded absently, already looking over my shoulder to serve the man behind me.
“No, really,” I said. “Thank you.” It was really sweet of him to follow me last night. He’d wanted to make sure I was safe. He didn’t remember doing it, but he had still done it, even though he was tired and still had that scholarship application to work on. He was more than sweet. He was chivalrous. Selfless. I gave him a smile.
He returned it with a closed-lipped, bashful smile of his own that disappeared before it fully formed. “Morning, sir, welcome to Hawthorne’s, what can I get you today?” he asked the round man, dismissing me.
He didn’t remember a thing about last night.
The round man took my place at the counter. I rushed out, excited to get to the Lab and tell my friends that I’d confirmed I had successfully erased Michael’s memory, that the Lab was safe, that our dances could continue. They would all be so relieved.
♛
I rushed in the stifling heat that night, sneaking out of my house, running two blocks to Main Street, passing the dark stores and restaurants. No sign of Michael as I darted past Hawthorne’s. I met my friends at the edge of the woods, and we dashed down the woodland path, over the brook, past the Lab, all the way to the clearing deep in the center of the forest. Belinda generated the soundproof force field, Carmen directed the owls to patrol, Delia frosted the area with snow. Eva turned on the twinkle lights and started the music, Josephine infused us with rhythm. We danced and laughed and twirled, and we were young, and powerful, and free.
Until the owls screeched.
Eva snapped off the power, and Delia melted the snow, hiding us in darkness and heat. On the path, the owls had tackled Michael to the ground and were squawking two inches from his terrified face.
“Why is he back?” cried Anna.
The steno notebook I’d seen in his Hawthorne’s apron that morning was in the dirt near his hand. Katti wiggled her finger at it, and it rose and zipped over to Anna, who snatched it from the air.
Her silver dress sparkled in the moonlight as she slowly flipped through the notebook. “He wrote down everything we did tonight, and he made sketches,” she said. “He wrote the word Lab with a question mark and circled it.”
From the ground, Michael reached for his notebook and tried to get up, but the owls pinned him down by his shoulders. Shaking her head at him and sighing, Anna held the notebook between her open palms. Moments later, it disappeared. Michael looked just as shocked as he had last night when she’d banished his phone.
She shrugged apologetically at him. “Fix this, Lila,” she said.
I motioned to Carmen to call off the owls and sat cross-legged next to him. “This won’t hurt,” I assured him. I took his hand, closed my eyes, and concentrated. I decided to go further back in his memory, all the way back to when I’d seen him at Hawthorne’s this morning:
Seeing Lila in the carry-out line. Waiting as she debates over the menu choices, knowing she’ll order a vanilla latte and a blueberry pie pocket anyway. Hating the impatient jerk in line behind her. Serving the rest of the customers. Looking all around the diner for his missing phone.
Going home after his morning shift. Sending his mother off to work. Slathering SPF50 on his little sister, taking her to the park. Reading her every book she brings to him at the library. Taking her home, creating an obstacle course for her in the backyard, spraying her lightly with the hose, showing her how to make rainbows with the water.
Opening his laptop, tapping the keyboard, thinking, knowing he needs to uncover something big to get that journalism scholarship. Looking for his phone again until their mother gets home. Heading out for another shift at the diner.
Leaving just before midnight, exhausted, knowing he still has lots of work to do. Turning the corner, seeing Lila dash through the shadows. Following her to make sure she's safe.
So. It was my fault he was here—again. I should have taken a completely different route to the woods.
I squeezed his hand, and with a herculean mental pull, I absorbed his memories into my mind, erasing them from his.
The fatigue set in, then the shakes, but I didn’t let go of his hand. I hadn’t known much about Michael before, but I knew now that he worked split shifts at Hawthorne’s, that he took great care of his little sister while their mom was at work, and that when he saw a girl slip through the shadows in the middle of the night, he cared less about going home to apply for scholarships than he did about making sure she was safe.
It was a shame, really, that I had to erase so many hours of his memories. Nothing extraordinary had happened during those hours—discovering our secret psychic dance the exception. He’d spent the day taking care of his sister, working hard, and watching out for my safety.
It was just an ordinary day for him. And that made him extraordinary.
My chest grew tight, my throat became thick.
One of the girls knelt next to me and placed her hand gently on my shoulder. “You okay, Lila?” It was Hedda. “You look really shaky, worse than you did last night. Tell me what’s wrong and I’ll heal you.”
What was wrong was that I’d stolen Michael’s memories, and that was something Hedda couldn’t cure.
But I had to erase his memories. I had to. It was the only way to keep our psionic powers secret, to keep the Lab safe, to keep our dances going. These girls were my friends, and I would never do anything to jeopardize that.
“Were you able to see why he came back?” asked Anna.
“Um, like he said last night.” I hated lying to my friends, but I couldn’t let them find out it was my fault. “He went for a walk to clear his head after his shift.”
The girls helped me from the ground and steadied me. I reached for Michael’s hand again, not to erase more of his memories, but to help him up. And also... because I wanted to touch him again. I wanted to feel his hand in mine, just for a second.
His hand was warm. Strong. I held on to it longer than necessary. I gave him a comforting smile, and he returned it, his eyes glazed. “Small vanilla latte with extra sugar and a blueberry pie pocket to go, please.” He chuckled and swayed on his feet.
My heart burst, and my knees went weak again. After releasing him, my own hand felt cold and empty. “We need to make sure he gets home safe.”
He had been trying to make sure I got home safe, after all.
With a twinge of jealousy I watched Ginger take his hand. With a pop, she teleported herself away, taking him with her.
Michael was a good guy. A really good guy. I liked him. A lot.
Anna put her arm around my shoulders and thanked me for saving them again. She invited me to go shopping with her tomorrow afternoon.
I said yes. I liked Michael, but my friends were more important.
♛
Hawthorne’s carry-out line was extra long the next morning. A white-haired lady was behind the counter, chatting with each person as they placed their order as if they were the only customer in the diner. “Where’s Michael?” I asked her when it was finally my turn.
“He’s been working split shifts, late nights, early mornings,” she said. “Kid’s working so hard that when he came in today he thought it was Tuesday. Yesterday. It was like he forgot an entire day. Mrs. Hawthorne gave him the morning off. Told him to go home and get a few extra hours of sleep.”
Guilt pooled in my belly like lava. “Is he all right? Is he coming back?”
“He said he’d be back for the evening shift.”
“Okay, good.”
I looked at the menu, debating between the avocado, egg white, and spinach sandwich and the butternut squash breakfast wrap. “I’ll have a small vanilla latte with extra sugar and blueberry pie pocket to go, please.”
“Sorry, sugar, we ran out of the pie pockets an hour ago.”
“Really?” This morning’s stop at Hawthorne’s was a huge disappointment on every level. First no Michael, then no blueberry
pie pocket.
“Gotta get here early if you want one of those.” The lady’s face crinkled as she smiled. “You must be the girl he saves them for.”
“Hmm?”
“Michael. Every morning when he comes in, he sets aside a blueberry pie pocket. Won’t let anyone touch it. Says a girl comes in and orders one every time, so he saves it for her. That’s you, isn’t it?”
My whole face grew hot, and I couldn’t stop myself from smiling. “Yeah, I guess it is.”
This morning’s stop at Hawthorne’s wasn’t so disappointing after all.
♛
I should have taken a different route to the woods that night. But I waited in the alley across from Hawthorne’s. I had to make sure Michael was okay, that I hadn’t harmed him by erasing so many hours of his memory. Just before midnight he stepped outside. He seemed fine. Well-rested. Healthy. He took off his apron and pulled the tieback from his hair. His eyes shone bright under the streetlights.
I should have waited for him to head home before I continued on my way to the woods. But I stepped out of the alley.
I should have stayed in the shadows. But I stepped out into the street.
I should have been quiet. But I made a little noise.
He noticed, and followed. All the way to the woods, all the way to the clearing. And he watched.
And after we discovered him and Anna banished his notebook, I held his hand and erased his memory. Just from the time he saw me outside the diner, nothing earlier than that. He wasn’t getting hurt, and we weren’t in danger of being exposed. It was harmless. I got to keep my friends, and I got to hold his hand.
The next night, and the next night, too. I didn’t hide in the shadows as I passed Hawthorne’s on my way to the woods. I got there early and lingered across the street, waiting for Michael to push open the door, take off his apron, and shake his hair out of the tieback. I’d start walking again, making sure to pass under a streetlight. My steps were no longer so quiet.
He noticed again, and he followed me, staying about a half block away. I led him to our meeting place at the edge of the woods, then dashed down the path with my friends, knowing he was a few hundred feet behind me. I felt... complete, knowing he was there. He filled in a piece of me that I’d never known was missing.
I said nothing to my friends, knowing he was watching us from behind a tree as we set up the dance, as Belinda soundproofed the area, as Delia made it snow and Katti floated the twinkle lights up to the trees, as Eva sparked the music on and Josephine infused us with grace and rhythm. I danced and spun and laughed with my friends under the twinkle lights, knowing he was watching.
I spun away from Isadora, who could read my mind and know I was thinking of Michael hiding in the shadows, of Michael’s kindness, and his selflessness, and his green eyes, and his lips.
I twirled away from Fanny, who would feel my emotions and know I had fallen in love.
In love?
Yes. Oh, yes. I was in love.
And all too soon, Carmen’s owls hooted their alarm, and I had another chance to go to Michael and hold his hand, before I erased the dance from his mind.
♛
We hadn’t even reached the wooden bridge the next night when a howl, followed by a strangled yelp, echoed through the woods.
“Got ’im!” Anna shouted, pumping her fist triumphantly. “Nicely done, Carmen.”
My blood ran cold as we dashed back down the path. There, growling, teeth bared, was a coyote. And pinned under him, too scared to move, was Michael.
I started running to him, but Anna pulled me back into the trees. “Carmen, get that coyote off of him!” I cried. We were psionic, but we would never use our powers to hurt anyone. Not like this.
“The coyote won’t bite him,” said Carmen calmly. “She’s just scaring him so he won’t come back into the woods.”
“So what if he does? I’ll just erase his memory again.”
“It’s not enough,” said Anna. “He walks through the woods at night to clear his head. But now that he knows he’ll be attacked by a coyote, he’ll go clear his head somewhere else from now on. ”
“Call off the coyote, Carmen,” I demanded. “Anna. That’s enough. Tell Carmen to let him go.”
Anna acquiesced with a reluctant nod. Carmen gave a low, sharp whistle, and with a final growl and a warning lunge, the coyote released Michael. It pranced over to us in the trees and sat at Carmen’s feet, looking up at her worshipfully.
Down the path, Michael struggled up to his elbows. He was breathing hard, but I couldn’t breathe at all. My heart stopped beating as he climbed to his feet.
But instead of running up the path and out of the woods to safety, he peered into the trees.
“Why isn’t he leaving?” asked Anna.
Michael took a tentative step, then shouted, “Lila?”
I froze.
Anna gripped my arm. “Why is he saying your name?”
“Lila, it’s me, Michael,” he called. “From Hawthorne’s? I saw you and your friends go down the path. There’s a coyote...” He stumbled forward. “Lila?”
Anna’s nails dug into my skin. “Did he follow you here? Is that why he’s been showing up every night? Did you know about this?”
I started to shake my head, but it was over. I had to tell my friends the truth. “He sees me when I go past the diner and follows me to the dances,” I confessed. “I let him do it. But you banished his phone and notebooks and I erase his memory every time, so it’s okay.”
Anna stared at me, her eyes blazing, her lips in a tight line. Behind her, the girls stared at me too, most of them with their mouths open.
“It was wrong, I know, and I’m sorry. I promise I won’t do it again,” I said, “but right now Michael thinks we’re being hunted by a coyote. He’s trying to save us. He’s not going to leave until he knows we’re safe. Anna, stop. You’re hurting me.”
Anna’s face was pure red as she glowered at me, squeezing my arm. Was she going to banish me from existence? Could she do that to a living thing, to a person? Was she that powerful?
But instead of banishing me, she released my arm. “Well, then,” she said. Her tone was soft, measured, and sickeningly sweet. “You’d better go erase his memory again.”
I nodded and rubbed my arm, which was sure to have bruises in the morning. “I’m sorry,” I repeated. “I won’t lead him here again.”
“Oh, I know you won’t,” said Anna, smiling. “Because you can’t come again either.”
I froze again. “What?”
“I really liked you, Lila. We all did. We’d always thought you didn’t like us, and we were so happy that you finally let us be your friends.” She gestured to the girls behind her, and they all nodded. Eva and Ginger looked like they were about to cry. My eyes burned. I couldn’t speak around the lump in my throat. I could barely hear Anna over the pounding in my ears.
“But then you led Michael here,” she said. “You purposely exposed us. You put the Lab in jeopardy.” Her syrupy tone turned acidic and bitter. “So you can’t come back. Ever.”
She turned away and marched into the trees. The rest of the girls followed. Belinda and Isadora glanced at me over their shoulders and shook their heads. Suddenly, the air around me went frigid. The other girls weren’t shivering, which meant Delia had literally left me out in the cold.
Anna hadn’t banished me from existence, but she had banished me from the group. And that was even worse.
I had just lost all of my friends.
♛
I didn’t sneak out to the dance the next night. Or the next. Or the next. The few times I left my house and happened to see the girls in town, they were cordial to me but distant, the way they used to be. One morning Ginger and Josephine nodded to me at the Lab when we were there for training, and once Eva and Katti waved to me at the store as we were buying school supplies. But I was back to being the awkward girl who didn’t fit in.
I had betrayed my friends.
I didn’t deserve to have them anymore.
In the mornings, I drank my mom’s Folgers with her sugar-free creamer and ate blueberry Pop-Tarts at home. I was avoiding Hawthorne’s. Really, I was avoiding Michael. When I’d approached him in the woods that last night, he’d been so relieved I hadn’t been attacked by the coyote that he’d hugged me. While he held me tight, he’d asked if I was okay, if my friends were okay, and then he’d asked what we were doing out there in the first place.
Instead of answering his questions, instead of hugging him back, I’d erased his memory.
Ginger hadn’t been there to teleport him home, but I’d been so shaky and fatigued that he’d ended up taking me home. It had felt like a dream to him, and even in his dreams, he was determined to keep me safe. He wouldn’t remember that dream in the morning, but I would never forget that night. Michael was selfless, courageous, ambitious, kindhearted, generous, and beautiful, and I had betrayed him, invaded his privacy, and stolen his memories.
I didn’t deserve him, either.
♛
A week after my banishment, I stared at the dresses hanging in my closet. I missed the dances. I missed the music, I missed the celebration, the freedom. I missed being part of something secret and special.
I missed my friends.
And I missed Michael. His green eyes, his tousled hair, his strong, warm hands.
I wondered if he was still saving a blueberry pie pocket for me every morning, or if he’d given up.
One of the dresses still had the tags hanging from it. I’d been saving it for tonight. School was starting tomorrow. Anna had promised that the last dance of the summer would be the best yet, and instead of borrowing a dress from one of the girls, I’d bought a special dress with my own money for the occasion. Pale yellow, with fabric roses adorning the neckline.
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