by Desiree Hart
As I arrived, I was relieved to see that our house was still standing and that none of the windows were broken. I unlocked the door and entered the house and suddenly felt that I could hardly move. I made my way to the bedroom to find both kids in bed with Mischa. All three of them were fast asleep. Meadow lay in Mischa's arms, and Sage lay snuggled up beside them with one arm thrown over them both. The three of them were absolutely adorable.
Trying to be as quiet as I could, I slipped off my shoes, undressed down to my underwear, put on my pajamas, and lay down beside them. I was asleep within seconds.
I awoke around noon to the delicious aroma of take-out Asian food and suddenly realized that I was famished. I got up and walked into the dining room to find Mischa and the kids in the middle of enjoying their meal. Mischa saw me and grinned. "Good morning, sleepyhead."
"Boy, what a night!" I sat down in front of my waiting plate of hot steaming food. "We had so many patients it was unreal! This old guy had a heart attack right there in the emergency room, and they had to bring the defibrillators out and use them on him right there. Then some kid threw up all over Mitzi and she had to change clothes, and the roof started leaking, and..."
"Daddy took us to the park," Sage told me. "We didn't wake you up because he said you needed your rest."
"Meadow swing!" Meadow said happily.
"That's right, you sure did!" Mischa smiled.
"All three of you were sound asleep when I got in this morning," I remarked. "I don't know how you slept through all that thunder."
"They didn't," Mischa told me. "It got really bad around midnight. Meadow woke up screaming, so I cuddled in bed with her and told her a story and sang to her. I'd barely gotten her back to sleep when Sage ran into the room. 'I'm scared, Daddy,' he told me. 'Well, hop on up here with us,' I said. He climbed up onto the bed beside us and held onto me and fell asleep that way."
"That's the way you were when I came in," I replied. "The three of you looked so cute together! I almost wanted to stay awake just so I could watch you, but after last night, there was just no way!"
"Well, I hope you're feeling well rested now," Mischa said.
"Oh, yeah, I'm fine now," I told him.
Later that month, I got the shock of my life when Chris and Lisa showed up together on our doorstep. Lisa was holding Logan. "Hi, Tracy," she said. "Guess what? We're married now!"
My mouth dropped open. "You got married and didn't invite me?"
"It was a spur of the moment decision," Chris explained. "I called Lisa and she was crying. She'd just caught that guy she was seeing cheating on her. I ran right over, and we patched things up, and here we are!"
"Chris wanted to get married right away, and I didn't see any point in waiting," Lisa continued. "We knew we loved each other, so we just went to the justice of the peace and did it right then and there."
"I can't believe you guys actually eloped!" I was still too shocked to be angry.
"To be honest, I have a hard time believing it myself," said Lisa. "I never imagined I'd do something like this."
"Well, congratulations, both of you," said Mischa, who'd wandered into the room while we'd been talking. "And hello there, you little cutie!" He tickled Logan, and the baby laughed. He didn't have any teeth yet, and when he opened his mouth, my heart just melted. I looked at Mischa and could tell that he felt the same way.
"We're his legal guardians now," Lisa told me. I knew that Tina still hadn't shown any signs of emerging from her coma and had been transferred to a long-term care facility.
"Well, he couldn't have better parents than you two," I told her.
Chris and Lisa ended up staying for dinner and visiting for several hours afterwards. Logan was five months old now, and Sage and Meadow both fell in love with him instantly.
"I want a baby brother, Mommy," Sage said after they'd left.
"Maybe you'll have one some day," I told him.
✽✽✽
Later that night, Mischa and I were making out in our bedroom when suddenly he got a thoughtful look on his face. "What is it?" I asked him.
"I was just thinking about what Sage said about wanting a baby brother," he replied. "Why don't we leave the birth control off this time?"
"Sounds good to me," I said. "Meadow will be three next July. That would be pretty good spacing between babies."
He entered me without wearing a condom for the first time, and the direct skin-to-skin contact was thrilling. He thrust and grunted as he filled me with his hot seed, and then we fell asleep holding one another. I awoke the following morning in his arms. "Hey, maybe we made a baby last night," I said.
"Maybe." He grinned and kissed the tip of my nose.
We decided to take the kids to the fair that year. Sage could walk on his own, of course, and I pushed Meadow in her stroller. We stood in the long line at the ticket booth while Sage excitedly jumped around and talked about all the rides he wanted to go on. "The roller coaster...the tilt and twirl...the swings...the bungee jump...'
"I think you'd enjoy yourself much more on the teacup ride," chuckled Mischa.
"That's for babies," Sage replied. "I rode it last year."
"Tell you what," said Mischa. "How about if we ride the Sizzler together, and we can save the bungee jump for next year, OK?"
"All right," Sage said with a sigh. Mischa and I both laughed.
After what seemed like forever, we finally had our hand stamps and arm bands and were walking through the building in front with all the insurance company, cruise sweepstakes, and church exhibits. Finally we reached the main fair grounds and headed for the aisle with the kiddie rides. "Train! Train!" Meadow crowed excitedly.
I lifted her out of her stroller and placed her into one of the cars of the train ride. It went around in a circle and over a gentle hill. "I'll ride it with her so she doesn't get scared," Sage volunteered generously. Mischa winked at me, and we both burst out laughing.
We went down that row and let the kids ride all the kiddie rides, then took turns walking through the house of mirrors. Then I stayed with Meadow while Mischa went on the haunted house ride with Sage. When the car they were riding emerged at the end, I saw that my son's eyes were wide with terror and he was gripping the bar in front of him tightly. "C'mon, sport, it's over," Mischa said as he ruffled Sage's hair playfully.
The spell broken, Sage quickly climbed out of the car and went to join me and his sister. "That was a really cool ride, Mommy!"
Mischa grinned at me again.
The high point of our evening was when the four of us rode the Ferris wheel with the gondola cars. The view from the top was breathtaking, and the lights on the darkening fair ground made everything seem magical. I had to hold onto Meadow tightly so that she wouldn't squirm and make the gondola rock. After that, we ate foot-long corn dogs and washed them down with lemonade, and Mischa bought cotton candy, which Meadow got all in her hair.
Later, we walked around and looked at the art, plant, antique, and livestock exhibits. Sage and Meadow petted baby goats and lambs in the petting zoo, and we went to the free concert in the amphitheater. Meadow fell asleep in her stroller but woke up later when I transferred her to her car seat.
The kids were too tired for a bath and bedtime story, so Mischa and I simply tucked them into bed and then went to bed ourselves.
Halloween was a few days later. Sage dressed up as the blue Power Ranger, Meadow as Raggedy Ann, and I took them to the mall to go trick-or-treating. We got there early to avoid the crowds and went around to all the stores. Both kids got big buckets full of candy. I knew I'd have to go through Meadow's and take out all the chewing gum and other choking hazards when we got home, but we still had a lot of fun.
One day not too long after that, Sage came home from school wiggling one of his bottom front teeth. "Let me see it," I said. I tested it and discovered that it was quite loose. "Soon it'll have to come out, to make room for your new grown-up tooth," I told him. H
is eyes grew round with fear. "Then after it comes out, you can sleep with it under your pillow, and the tooth fairy will take it and leave you money for it."
Instantly his face lit up. "Cool!" he said with a grin.
The next time I went to work, Mitzi approached me with a big grin and flashed a diamond ring in my face. "Wow, congratulations!" I exclaimed. "When's the date?"
"We haven't decided for sure yet," she replied. "We're talking about maybe spring break of next year."
"Wow, everybody's getting married!" I exclaimed. "First Chris and Lisa, and now you and Ivan!"
In contrast with Mitzi's happy news, something very sad happened later. A group of teenagers were on their way home from a football game when their car was broadsided. All of them escaped with minor injuries except for one girl. Both her legs were so badly mangled that they had to be amputated below the knee. As I stood looking down at her peacefully sleeping face, tears filled my eyes as I thought about the tragic surprise awaiting her when she awakened. In one instant, her life had been changed forever.
As hard as I tried, I couldn't get her face out of my mind, not even when my shift was over and it was time to go home. "Bringing your work home with you again?" Mischa asked me with a smile.
"Yeah, I guess so." I told him about the tragedy.
"I didn't work that accident, but I heard about it," he told me. "Guy was drunk and got thrown through the windshield and all cut up. If he lived, which I doubt, he'll be horribly scarred for the rest of his life."
At his words, memories of Jeff's death suddenly came flooding back to me. "What's wrong, Tracy? You look like you've seen a ghost!" Mischa exclaimed.
"It's just that what you just told me was exactly how Jeff died."
"Oh, that's right. I'm so sorry, Trace." He gave me a hug and I felt a lot better, but I still couldn't get that poor girl's face out of my mind. I knew I'd probably dream about her that night.
Chapter 20
I
was actually in the girl's room when she woke up for the first time after the car crash. As I was bringing a Styrofoam jug full of water into the room, I saw her eyes flutter open. "Good, you're awake," I said briskly.
"What happened?" she asked.
"You were in a very bad car crash," I told her. "You're lucky to be alive. You're gonna be with us for awhile."
"Something's wrong," she wailed. "My foot itches, but I can't scratch it!"
"Sweetheart," I said as gently as I could. "What you're feeling is called 'phantom pain.' The doctor will be here soon to explain it to you."
As quickly as I could, I went to fetch Dr. Abrams to tell him his patient was awake. I very badly didn't want to be there when she found out what had happened to her legs.
I ran into Dr. Abrams briefly before I left for the day. "How'd she take it?" I asked him.
"Very hard," he told me. "Her dream was to become a model. She's completely devastated."
"I'll bet," I said sympathetically.
I got home to find Mischa and the kids in the living room watching television. "Mommy, my mouth tastes funny!" Sage complained.
"Let me see." I examined the inside of his mouth. "Blood's coming from around the base of your tooth. That means it's time for it to come out. Want me to pull it for you?"
"I want Daddy to do it." He went to Mischa, who used a tissue to pull the tooth.
"There now, all ready for the tooth fairy!" he said as he handed it to Sage, who grinned proudly.
The next time I checked on Carrie at work, she had visitors, a teenaged boy and girl. The boy's forehead was bandaged. I assumed that they were a couple of the kids who'd been in the car crash with her.
She was sitting up in bed chatting with them and seemed to be in good spirits, which I was glad to see. They all stopped talking when I entered the room. "I just need to check your vitals real quick," I said apologetically. She watched while I took her blood pressure. "Have you had any more trouble with phantom pain?" I asked her. She shook her head. "I'm glad." I smiled at her and left. The next time I came in to check her vitals, she was alone.
"I'm supposed to get my new legs soon," she muttered.
"That's good," I said. "Then you can be up walking around again, and soon you'll be out of here."
"I don't want them!" she exploded.
"But don't you want to be able to walk again?" I asked her.
She shook her head, and tears filled her eyes.
"Look, sweetie." I sat in the chair by the side of her bed. "I know you've suffered a tremendous loss, but you're going to have to accept it and go on. You can't just lie there feeling sorry for yourself for the rest of your life. You're only seventeen, Carrie. You have your whole life before you."
"I had my whole life before me," she said bitterly.
I sighed helplessly. I knew that she needed more professional help than I was able to provide, and I hoped that she would soon receive it.
✽✽✽
Unfortunately, Mischa and I both had to work on Thanksgiving, but the kids spent the day with my parents and Adam and Jill, and Mischa and I both went by there after work. Adam and Jill were both still there. The night was chilly, and my Mom made hot apple cider for us, and we all sat together talking and enjoying leftover pumpkin pie.
"I can't believe how fast this year has flown by," Mischa remarked.
"So many things have happened," I added. "This time a year ago, you invited me to go to New York to see the Bolshoi Ballet with you."
Mischa clasped my hand across the table and smiled. "That was the most memorable vacation of my life."
"I was still paralyzed and in a wheelchair," I reminisced. "I was afraid I was going to be a burden to you."
"There never would have been any chance of that happening," Mischa said quickly. "I was worried that you wouldn't enjoy yourself."
"As long as I was with you, there would have been no chance of that being the case," I said loyally. He laughed and squeezed my hand.
"Adam and I didn't even know each other a year ago," Jill commented. "That was before we moved here. I had no idea I had a half sister." She lowered her voice conspiratorially. "Andy doesn't even know about her. I mean, he knows her, of course, but he thinks she's just a friend. He doesn't know she's my half sister. He thinks that my step dad is my real father and that I'm his full sister."
"Well, don't you think you should tell him the truth?" I asked.
"He's only twelve," she replied. "I'm afraid if I told him now, it would really blow his mind."
"When did you find out yourself?" I asked.
"It was on my sixteenth birthday," she told me. "After my party was over and all my guests had gone back home, she said that she had something very special she wanted to show me. She took me into her bedroom and handed me a tiny box. I opened it to find a pair of gold earrings inside. She told me that they were a present from my real father, that he'd asked her to give them to me when I turned sixteen. I was shocked at first, of course, but once I got over the shock, I was very curious about him. My Mom answered all my questions as best she could and told me that perhaps I'd meet him someday. Now I finally have, thanks to you and Lisa. How long have you guys known each other?"
"Since first grade," I told her. "We met on the first day of school, and we've been friends ever since then."
By that time it was quite late, so Mischa and I bundled the kids up and took them home. After putting them to bed, we watched a movie, then made love and went to sleep ourselves.
✽✽✽
"But wouldn't he rather have the blue engine than the yellow one?" Mischa asked me.
"He already has Thomas, Edward, and Gordon," I replied. "He doesn't have Annie or Clarabel yet. If we get him those, he'll have the complete set."
Mischa and I were at WalMart shopping for Christmas presents for the kids. Sage was crazy about Shining Time Station and wanted very badly to own all the toy train engines and other figurines that came with it.
"Hopefully." I'd gotten my period a couple of times since we'd stopped using condoms, but I still felt optimistic.
"Well, Sage is all taken care of," said Mischa. "But what about Meadow?"
"There's this really gorgeous doll house I've had my eye on," I replied. "It comes with not only the dolls but also the furniture and everything."
We got the train engines for Sage and the doll house for Meadow and went home to wrap and hide them. I knew that the kids would find out the truth about Santa Claus in a few years and figured I might as well let them hang onto the fantasy for as long as they could.
"We still have a little while before we have to pick them up." Mischa came up behind me and began placing soft kisses along my neck.
I giggled. "Any idea what to do about it?"
"Oh, I've got lots and lots of ideas," he murmured as he caressed my breasts through my clothing.
A few nights later, we took the kids to see the Christmas lights at the St. Mary's Catholic church downtown. With much difficulty, we found a parking space in the back of the lot, and I took Meadow's stroller out of the trunk and put her in it, and we were on our way.
Sage skipped ahead excitedly. "Hi, Brianna!" he called to a little girl he saw. Brianna was in his kindergarten class at school. Mischa and I said hello to her parents and engaged in a few minutes of small talk with them.
The sun was just beginning to set, and the lights were spectacular. They lined rows of booths, trees, and other structures. Some of the booths held nativity scenes or scenes of old-fashioned Christmases from the 1930's, 40's, and 50's. "Would you like a cup of hot chocolate and a cookie?" asked a middle-aged woman at one of the booths.