Before Beauty

by Brittany Fichter

  It didn’t help either that Ever found himself continually distracted by the way her wavy auburn hair framed her heart-shaped face. The servants had left it down since she was in bed, and it was a surprising length. It gave her a softer appearance, making her look more vulnerable than he had ever seen. Multiple times, he caught himself wondering what it would feel like to touch her face.

  By the end of the visit, not much had truly been said between the two humans in the room, but Ever could hear Garin smothering his chuckles, and realized that the female servants were very ready to shoo him out. Apparently, his thoughts hadn’t been as well hidden as he had believed them to be.

  Thanks to Ever’s quick binding skills, Isa’s leg was healed within a few weeks. Ever felt a bit bad about this. He knew that if he really wanted to, he could heal her using his strength. If she suspected his selfishness, however, she gave nothing away. Instead, their relationship seemed to improve.

  While they were not exactly what Ever would consider to be friends, he found that she no longer sent him scathing looks over her supper, and she ceased to tremble when he led her to the dance floor each night. While she was far from throwing herself at him, it seemed at least her hatred of him had subsided. And if Isa’s actions didn’t confuse him enough, Ever’s emotions finished the job.

  “You must guard yourself, Son,” Rodrigue had told Ever after his first ball. The poor prince had been dumbstruck by the great number of eligible beauties that had paraded themselves in front of the young man that night, hoping to capture his attention before he was old enough to make a decision. “A worthy queen will bear a king children, but she can easily become a distraction as well. You must protect this kingdom before all else, and that includes your queen.”

  King Rodrigue had lived by his word. Queen Louise rarely saw her husband. Rumor had it that the king had all but stopped visiting the queen’s chambers once Ever was born. Always training the soldiers, always on a campaign, and forever consulting with his generals, Rodrigue had believed his marital duties fulfilled when his wife produced a son. Just as he abstained from all strong drink and any food that might be considered gluttonous, just as he slept keeping watch from the sacred Tower of Annals, he had denied himself the company of a woman all in the name of duty.

  Ever had tried to follow his father’s instructions, but just as the idea of choosing a wife based on politics alone had made him apprehensive, ignoring the draw he now felt to Isa seemed impossible. Finally, tired of being at war with his logic and his desires one day, he called Garin.

  “Have you discovered something that will win her affections?”

  “Do you mean something that will win her heart, or something that will hasten your plan?”

  Ever rolled his eyes. “I don’t see what difference it makes,” he snapped. “If the plan is going to work, she might as well be happy about it.”

  Despite the steward’s shadowy appearance, Ever could just imagine Garin’s mouth turning down at one corner, and the thin wrinkles around his eyes deepening as they always did when he didn’t approve of something. But he responded, “As for the plan, you can see for yourself that the crystal glows brighter with each night. As for earning her love, she no longer despises you, if that’s what you are asking.”

  Ever gave a short, humorless laugh. “While I would agree that that is a start, I am asking what I should do next. I’ve never–I don’t even know where to start.” Ever walked out onto the tower’s balcony. A breeze ruffled his left sleeve as Garin came to stand beside him. The air was warmer today than it had been for a long time. An early spring was on its way.

  “No man has ever truly mastered the way to a woman’s heart.” Garin’s voice was kinder this time. “And anyone who thinks he has doesn’t deserve her.”

  They were silent for a moment as the sound of a lone jay was carried to them on the wind. It had been a long time since any bird had dared to makes its home on the Fortress grounds. In spite of his misgivings, Ever found a small shred of hope in the lonely sound.

  “You know about the old way of choosing a queen on the crystal balcony,” Garin said softly. “When one of the women brought a fire of her own to make the crystal glow, it meant the Fortress had chosen her as its queen. There is something your father never told you though, probably because his father never told him.”

  Ever turned in surprise to the steward’s voice, forgetting, as he often did, that he couldn’t see Garin.

  Garin continued though. “It is true that the young ladies would present themselves to the future king, and it is also true that they would dance on the crystal floor until one showed a sufficient strength of her own, just as you’re attempting to do with Isa.

  “But the kings of old didn’t stop there. You see, any king could find a woman of worth by looking for an answer from the crystal floor, but a wise king would realize that the Fortress had chosen for him a jewel, a pillar of strength to be his helper, his partner in guarding Destin.”

  Ever could hear the smile in his mentor’s voice as he spoke.

  “In the stories you begged me to tell when you were small, the queens weren’t treated as delicate flowers to be left in their chambers, produce children, and amuse themselves until they died. They were advisers to their husbands, and their words were regarded more highly than generals’, for the wise kings trusted that the Fortress had chosen for them only the best. A number of the great queens even learned to wield the strength just as well, if not better, than their husbands could.”

  “What happened?” Ever frowned as he took this in. He had always prided himself in knowing the history of the Fortress. How had he not known this?

  “The kings stopped trusting the Fortress, to put it simply.” Garin suddenly sounded tired. “They believed they knew best, and as a result, the queens were chosen for alliances and politics, rather than virtue and strength. With all due respect to your mother, of course, the bright lights that burned by the kings’ sides disappeared.”

  “That’s all quite interesting.” Ever shook his head to clear it and turned to go back inside. It was nearly time for his daily ride, something he insisted on continuing as long as he was physically able. “But I don’t see how that is going to help me with Isa.”

  “It’s really quite simple, Your Highness,” Garin said after calling for two shadow servants to prepare Ever’s riding things. “If you saw a jewel buried in the dirt, what would you do?”

  “I’d pick it up.”

  “But you wouldn’t just pick it up and stick in your saddlebag, would you? You would lift if gently. You’d take your time so as not to scratch it. And once you had it in your hands, you wouldn’t allow it to stay filthy. You would brush the dirt off, polish it. And the more you worked, the brighter it would shine.”

  “Garin, please, I didn’t sleep last night, and my mind is not up to answering your riddles.”

  “Everard, Isa is the jewel, one that has been drawn to the Fortress just as the queens of old were. And just as a jewel needs someone to help it shine, so does this woman. Heartbreak isn’t easy to clean up. Lift her up, make her see her worth, and she might surprise you with her brilliance.”

  By this time, they were on their way down to the stables. Once they were there, Ever painfully pulled himself up onto his horse. He pushed the animal into a quick canter, but he could hear Garin call out from behind him.

  “The Fortress has brought her to you for a reason, Ever! You might want to reconsider trusting it to help both of you break the curse!”

  Ever didn’t answer as he rode quickly towards the north end of the Fortress grounds. His joints ached with each of the horse’s steps, but riding was the only way he could move fast enough to think to his satisfaction. As usual, Garin’s answers to his questions had only served to breed more of the unknown.

  As he made his way, however, Ever suddenly felt as though he was being watched. Surely enough, when he turned around, a large pair of dark eyes were following him from the grand entrance where Isa
stood in the doorway. She looked nervous. Ever’s curiosity got the best of him, and he cut his ride short. His father would have been appalled.

  “Can I help you, my lady?” he called out, somewhat shocked at his confidence as the words left his mouth.

  Isa gave him a half smile. “I would like to go out, but I am not sure if the weather agrees with me.”

  Ever noticed the catch in her voice, however, and saw right through her brave face. He brought his horse up to the grand doors, still held open by the shadows as Isa lingered on the threshold.

  “There’s nothing to be afraid of.” As he spoke, he realized he sounded like a commander insulting one of his cowardly soldiers. “Remember, the danger is only at night. Their birds and archers can’t see well until the sun has set.” Why was it so hard to soften his voice?

  Isa smiled, but he could still see her trembling hands. Suddenly wondering if he could do as Garin had advised, he stiffly dismounted and held his arm out to her. “Would you like me to accompany you to the garden?”

  The young woman studied him for a moment, tilting her head a bit as she stared at him with those dark eyes. Ever wasn’t sure what she saw there, but she finally nodded lightly and took his arm.

  Together, they shuffled down the stone path to the rose garden. And for the first time since the curse had fallen, Ever didn’t mind the slow pace. The warmth of her arm felt nice on his, and the soft way she grasped his arm made his heart jump unevenly. She kept her head down, staring at the ground as they walked, but Ever longed to lift her chin so she would look him in the eyes.

  Though he escorted her to supper every night, this felt different, more intimate outside in the thin sunlight that was almost warm. For all his father’s training in self-denial and duty, he felt like an adolescent again. With a bit of disgust, he realized his constantly growing desire to be near her was somewhat akin to that of a puppy.

  “Would you mind if we go somewhere else today?” he asked as they approached the rose garden, suddenly desperate to keep her arm and her attention.

  Isa turned to him with wide eyes. “Where would you like to go?”

  Ever honestly had no idea. The question had been spontaneous, so he said the first thing that came to mind. “If you’re going to live here, you might as well know a bit about the grounds. They hold more stories than one would think by looking at them now.”

  Isa’s eyes stayed wide, as if this was the last thing she had expected, but to his relief, she nodded. And so, they began to explore the many gardens that had once adorned the Fortress’s front lawns. Ever pointed out places in the foliage and shrubs where he had played in the days of his boyhood. As he told her stories of how he had evaded his tutors and hidden with the servant children, Isa seemed to relax. She even laughed a few times when he mentioned some particularly ornery tricks he had played on Garin.

  “You really love this place,” Isa said as they stopped to rest on a stone bench in the ancient Garden of the Queens.

  “I was born with a love for this place,” Ever answered uncomfortably. “As a child, I never felt alone. Even when I escaped to be on my own, I always felt loved and protected. It was as if the Fortress itself had wrapped its arms around me. I felt special.”

  “But you don’t feel that way now?”

  Ever sighed. Isa’s guesses as to his feelings were getting better, and she was fast approaching a conversation he preferred not even to have with himself.

  “I used to know how I felt. I knew what the Fortress was doing. It was a part of me. But ever since this curse, since this sickness has fallen, I have felt alone.” He let out a gusty breath. “To be perfectly honest, the Fortress has abandoned me. Garin always told me the Fortress never abandoned anyone it chose, but I can’t say I believe that anymore.”

  “Oh,” was all Isa said. Ever watched her out of the corner of his eye. She stared at her left wrist, turning it over again and again in her lap, tracing out the lines in her skin with her other hand. As she did, Ever suddenly found himself staring at her lips. They looked soft, and he resisted the sudden urge to touch them. Before his thoughts could wander further, however, Isa spoke again.

  “Garin seems wise. At least, I always thought so.”

  “You can hear Garin, too?” Ever froze. Was she that strong already?

  But Isa shook her head, a small smile on those soft lips. “No, but I knew him as a child. He and my father were friends. He was always kind to me.” She leaned towards him just a bit, a sudden curiosity in her eyes. “The last time I saw him was when he was in town a year ago, before the Fortress went dark. He didn’t look as if he’d aged a bit since the day I first met him!” Her voice fell to an excited whisper. “What exactly is he?”

  Ever chuckled. “Honestly? A mystery. He’s been the steward here for as long as I’ve been alive, and I believe as long as my father was alive as well. In fact, there’s no one here who can remember a time before Garin. Believe me, I’ve asked everyone. He’s just as much a part of the Fortress as the walls and the tapestries.”

  “If that’s true, he must have some of that…What did you call it? Strength. He must have some of that strength, too, right?”

  “Yes and no.” Ever picked up a stick and began to idly draw with it in the gravel at his feet. “While he doesn’t wield the strength of the Fortress the way the monarchs do, he has a strange resistance to the powers of our dark enemies. It is as if the monarchs were placed here to guard the Fortress and the kingdom, and Garin was placed here to guard the monarchs. He guarded me, at least,” Ever recalled solemnly. “If it hadn’t been for Garin, I might have grown up devoid of affections completely.”

  Isa watched him with curious eyes. It felt empowering to have her look at him without anger or fear.

  “So you didn’t see your parents often?”

  Ever snorted, hearing the questions she was really asking. “My father was rarely around, and when he was, he was either training his troops for battle or preparing me for the life of a soldier. My mother loved parties and balls, and rarely had time for anything else. I went through a series of governesses as a child, largely because I wore most of them out before they had time to acclimate to palace life. Garin and the servants were the ones who watched out for me, and it was only because of them that I knew anyone else had a family that was more closely knit than mine.”

  “I see.” Isa paused for a moment before a small smile grew on her face and a slight blush colored her cheeks. “I doubt you were that hard to love as a child.”

  “And how would you know that?” Ever let out a laugh.

  Her smile widened. “When I would accompany my father here to do business, I would sometimes watch you from afar.”

  Ever felt like his heart might beat out of his chest, but he swallowed and tried to keep his voice even. “And what did you think?”

  Isa gave a little laugh and leaned back, closing her eyes as the sun moved out from behind the clouds. Ever didn’t even pretend to look away this time, staring as rudely as it was possible. But she had him truly curious. And her smile was lovely.

  “I thought you seemed kind, different from your father. Not that he was unkind,” she hastened to say. “But you talked to the servants as if they were real people. I think you even spotted me staring once, while you were heading out for a riding lesson.”

  As she spoke this time, however, her face fell. Guilt and shame flooded him as Ever realized the direction of her thoughts. He wanted to fall on the ground suddenly, to beg for her forgiveness, but he couldn’t get his feet to move. Instead, he closed his eyes.

  “I know my words now can never make up for what I did to you. I won’t attempt to excuse my actions either. But,” he took a deep breath, “I need you to know that I wasn’t the monster you must have thought me for so many years, not even the monster I am now. I was a boy who was struggling, trying to be someone he wasn’t.”

  Isa was silent, and he was terrified to look at her, so he continued in a rush. “The memory of your fac
e has haunted me for years, the way you looked at me when you fell. You changed me that day. You showed me what evil I was capable of if I didn’t learn to control my strength. But I couldn’t accept it. It was too much to bear to realize that I could be a beast. It was easier to hate you instead.”

  Finally, he drew his eyes up to meet hers. They were guarded, her lips parting slightly as she considered his words.

  “Please,” he whispered, “know that I wasn’t always as I am today. Know that I am sorrier than I can ever express.”

  Her eyes stayed wary, and her hands shook a bit as they clutched her skirts tightly. But she uttered the most beautiful words he had ever heard.

  “I believe you.”

  They walked back to the Fortress in silence after that, not even speaking a word when they parted. Too tired to resume his ride, Ever went to the stables and simply sat beside his horse. The day had certainly not turned out the way he had expected. But as much as he hated to admit it, Garin had been right, at least about Isa. It had taken a long time for her to look at, much less speak to him with any level of confidence or closeness. He just hoped it wouldn’t take too much longer for her to move beyond mere warmth. His strength was still waning quickly, and there wasn’t much time left.

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  Close

  As spring drew closer, and Ever’s strength did indeed dwindle, Isa’s grew visibly by the day. It wasn’t long before the rose garden was fairly glowing with its brilliant blooms of not only pink, but also red, yellow, peach, white, violet, and even blue. The snow melted and was not replaced. Even the blue jays returned to nest in the crevices of the Fortress’s roof.

  Ever might have attributed it to the cycles of nature if it hadn’t been that Isa’s favorite paths were always the ones to return far before the others. And when he went to escort her to supper one evening, Ever couldn’t help but notice the smell of fresh vanilla in the halls of the northern wing near Isa’s room. Nostalgia and panic hit him as he recalled that before the curse, Gigi had always placed sprigs of the plant all over the Fortress. It seemed now that she was at it again.