He just shook his head. “No more caffeine today. You’re cut off.”
She sulked. Fudge.
He ran his thumb over her bottom lip. “Cheer up, little rebel. I thought this afternoon you might want to spend some time in the playroom.”
“Ooh yes.” She clapped her hands.
“I know I’ve been busy lately and I’m sorry about that.”
“Is everything okay?” she asked.
He sighed. “Yes and no.”
Well, that made it all clear.
“I’ve got a friend that needs a place to stay.”
“Oh. What friend?” She wasn’t aware he had friends outside of the Iron Shadows. He wasn’t exactly Mr. Social. Before she’d met him, the Iron Shadows were his life. They still was in a lot of ways. But she knew she came first.
He cleared his throat, looking slightly guilty. “It’s a friend I knew from years ago. It won’t be for long. He’s going to work for Razor. Soon as he’s got things organized, he’ll get himself a place.”
“It’s not a problem for him to stay.”
He couldn’t meet her gaze. “Yeah, well, you don’t know it all. Reason he needs a place to stay is because he’s been in prison for the last five years.”
Well. Okay, then.
She blinked. “He was wrongfully accused?”
“Nope. He did it.”
What wasn’t she getting here? Okay, she knew that Duke had maybe skirted the line of the law a time or two. The Iron Shadows had gotten caught up in some dodgy dealings thanks to their old president.
But he wanted to let someone who’d been in jail stay here?
“What was he in jail for?”
Duke grimaced. “Assault.”
“This gets better and better.”
Duke sighed. “It’s not like that. Sav beat up the guy who raped his sister.”
“Oh God.”
“Yeah. He likely would have killed him, if his sister hadn’t called me and begged me to find him. But by the time I got there, the cops were on their way and Sav was standing over the asshole. He was unconscious.”
She knew he was glossing over the details to spare her.
“That . . . that’s awful. His poor sister.”
“I know. He was convicted of aggravated assault. When he went to jail, I promised his sister that when he got out, I’d take care of him. Got the call from him about two weeks ago that he was granted parole. Just learned today that he’ll be out Christmas Eve.”
“His sister?”
“She moved away. She couldn’t stay here. She’s down in Georgia. He can’t leave the state while on parole. I don’t want him to be alone.”
“You’re a good friend, Duke.”
“If it makes you feel uncomfortable or uncertain, I can arrange something else.”
“No. No, it doesn’t. What he did, it might not have been right according to the law, but I get it. I’d kill anyone who hurt you,” she said fiercely.
He smiled at her.
“I would!”
“I know you would. My fierce warrior.” He kissed the tip of her nose. “But if anything ever did happen to me, you’d stay far out of it and let the boys take care of things.”
She huffed at that. “I’d want my pound of flesh.”
He laughed. “Pound of flesh? I think I like this bloodthirsty side of you.”
“So this is what you’ve been busy with? We’re not broke?”
He frowned. “Broke? Why would you think that?”
“I don’t know. You’ve been working so much and kind of distracted. Although I guess you were distracted over your friend. But I was worried that maybe we were short of money and I spent so much on Christmas presents and then I started to feel guilty—”
He put his hand over her mouth. “Okay. Calm. Deep breath in. Now slowly out.” He removed his hand. “We’re not out of money. You didn’t overspend on Christmas gifts. If we were having problems, I’d tell you.”
“You would?”
He nodded. “Yes, baby. I know I didn’t tell you about Sav, but that’s because I didn’t know if he’d agree to stay with me. A probation officer had to approve it. Plus, they pushed through his release quicker than I thought they would. I’ve been working more for . . . well, that’s a surprise. But we are not in any financial difficulty.”
“Whew. That’s good. I really didn’t want to have to return everything.”
“Of course, you’re not returning anything. How long have you been worrying about this?” He frowned.
“It just occurred to me.”
“Good. Because I always want you to tell me if something’s worrying you.”
Now would be a good time to come clean, Sunny.
“I can’t go to the mall,” she blurted out.
“What?” He looked confused.
“I mean, I can go to the mall. I went there the other day. But usually, I can’t go without someone else with me. The other day, Jewel couldn’t come because she was sick. Although, I’m not sure if she really was. She’s acting strange and I’m worried about her—”
“Whoa. Okay, we’ll talk about Jewel later. Focus on you for the moment.”
“Ever since I was kidnapped, I have panic attacks when I try to go to the mall alone. It’s the getting to and from my car that seems to be the problem, once I’m inside I’m okay.”
He gaped down at her. “Why haven’t you told me?”
“I thought it would go away.”
“Damn it, Sunny. You’re having panic attacks. That doesn’t just go away.”
She sniffled. “I know. Santa told me I should talk to you.”
“What?”
Now he was staring at her like she’d lost her marbles. Maybe she had.
“There was this Santa at the mall. I was sprinting to the entrance and slipped on an icy patch. He caught me. Took me inside. We had pumpkin spice lattes. He told me to talk to you about this.”
“Right. Sure. Well, Santa’s right. You should have told me. I can’t believe you told a stranger before me.”
“It was Santa.”
“Sunny,” he said warningly.
“I know. I’m sorry. I didn’t even realize there was a problem until about six weeks ago when I tried to go to the mall by myself. I usually have someone with me. I mean, those other times I always felt a bit queasy but as long as I stuck with someone, I could get through it. And I really thought I’d get over it. Then when I didn’t, well, I asked you if we could talk the other day but you’ve been busy and I just kept putting it off.”
“Fuck.” He closed his eyes with a frown. “I’m so sorry, Sunny.”
“This isn’t your fault.” She cupped the side of his face. He hadn’t shaved in a few days and his beard scratched her skin.
He opened his eyes, staring down at her. “It is if I was too busy for you to talk to me about something so important. That’s fucking not good, Sunny.”
He’d been trying to clean up his language around her, so she knew the fact he was swearing was a bad sign.
Standing, he lifted her and carrying her to the counter. Then he started pacing the kitchen. He ran his fingers through his hair. “Fuck. Shit. How did I not notice?”
“It’s my fault. I should have told you.”
He paused and stared at her. “You should have. And I should have noticed something was wrong and pushed you to talk to me.”
“I’m really sorry.”
Duke shook his head. “I’ve been working too much. Neglecting you.”
“No. You could never neglect me. Ever.” She went to slide off the counter, but he stepped forward, between her legs.
He laid his hands on the counter on either side of her. “We’re spending the rest of the day together. In your playroom, in the bedroom, on the couch. I don’t care. Tomorrow, we’re gonna find you someone to talk to about this. And from now on, every morning at breakfast, we talk to each other. Got it?”
“Got it.”
“From now on,
something worries you then you come to me straight away. No going to Santa.”
“Well, technically, I didn’t go to him, he rescued me. And he’s not here all year around anyway.”
He growled.
“But yes, I’ll come to you,” she said quickly.
“That’s what I wanted to hear.”
13
Millie and Spike
15th December
Millie reached for one of the boxes, ready to carry it out to the garage where they were placing everything that she was going to take back home with her. This was honestly a lot more work than she thought it would be. They’d been at it for three days and between cleaning, packing, and dealing with emotional hits, she was exhausted. And sore. She’d been doing her best to hide it from Spike, but her shoulder had started throbbing.
“What do you think you’re doing!” Spike barked. “Step away from that box.”
Drat.
She moved away from the box, looking up at him as he stormed down the passage from where he’d been placing some boxes out on the back porch for donation.
“It’s light,” she protested.
“That so?” His face was like thunder as he reached down and picked up the box. “It weighs more than five pounds.”
“How can you tell?” she asked exasperatedly. “When did you become an expert in how much things weigh?”
“When my baby got shot, had surgery, and was given instructions on how much she is allowed to safely carry,” he countered. “Corner. Now.”
“No.” She stomped her foot. Part of her was kind of horrified by her behavior. She wasn’t actually angry at him. She knew Spike was just looking after her. But she was overwrought, exhausted, and grouchy.
This was all too much.
“Millicent Margaret, are you after a spanking?”
“You’re not going to spank me. You think I’m a china doll.”
“You are a china doll. My china doll. Fragile and precious.”
Damn it. Now he was determined to turn her anger into tears. She sniffled. “I . . . I . . .” Damn it. She couldn’t even get words out. “I . . .”
“Come here.” He didn’t wait for her to move. He set the box down and pulled her into his arms.
“I’m sorry! I didn’t m-mean to be n-naughty.”
“Hush, you’re not naughty.”
“I am! You’re being s-so amazing. Helping m-me. When I’m s-sure you’d m-much rather do other s-stuff. Instead of being h-here with me.”
He picked her up, hushing her softly as he carried her into what her grandma liked to call the fancy living room. It was just a spare bedroom that she’d converted into a sitting room. It had rarely been used. Maybe because her grandma refused to remove the wrapping off of the furniture. The plastic crinkled under his ass and he sighed. She let out a watery giggle. They hadn’t even started on this room yet.
“Why is there plastic wrapping on the furniture?” Spike asked.
“You only just noticed?”
“No. I only just started caring. Shit. Glad it’s not summer or I’d stick to this thing.”
She let out another giggle at the thought of big, bad Spike sticking to her grandma’s tiny, floral couch.
“I’m shocked it could hold both of us,” Millie commented.
“You calling me fat, baby doll?”
“No,” she gasped out. “Although I could afford to lose a—”
He placed his hand over her mouth. “Oh no, you don’t. Gonna stop you right there before you land yourself in trouble. More trouble.” He glared down at her.
Oops.
Unable to help herself, she slipped her tongue out of her mouth and licked the palm of his hand.
“Millie!”
She gave him an innocent look. “Sorry. You just smelled so good that I thought I’d taste you.”
“You need a good spanking, don’t you?”
Well, he didn’t think she was going to answer that, did he?
“You also need a time-out.”
“Nooo, I don’t want a time-out.” She didn’t have time to stand in the corner, there was so much to do. More packing, cleaning, sorting.
“Hey, easy. I don’t mean that sort of time-out. Although you could benefit from that as well.” He tilted up her chin, studying her face intently. “You need a time-out from this. You’re exhausted. This is a lot to take on, especially when you’re recovering from a shoulder injury. And don’t think I haven’t noticed you flinching in pain.” He gave her a firm look and she squirmed. “You should have told me you were hurting, shouldn’t you?”
“Sorry, Daddy.”
“Not sorry enough. You know, Doc reckons that spanking you in the diaper position will be fine with your shoulder.”
“W-what?”
She wasn’t sure what she was more alarmed over. The idea of a spanking in the diaper position. Or that he’d spoken to Doc about it.
Okay, yes, she did. It was definitely the latter.
“You spoke to Doc about spanking me?”
“Yep. He’s a good guy. Had lots of advice.”
“So he’s a good guy because he had lots of advice on how to spank me?” she squeaked out.
“Not just because of that. Says what he thinks. I admire that.”
Of course, he liked that. Sheesh.
“But yeah, the advice helps. You’ll lie on your back on the bed with a pillow under your shoulder to make sure it’s well supported. Then I can raise your legs and spank your naughty ass while keeping a good eye on you. Make sure it’s not hurting you.”
“Pretty sure it will hurt!”
“Wasn’t talking about your ass hurting, baby girl.”
She didn’t like the sound of any of that. She groaned. “I can’t believe you guys talked about the best way to spank me.”
“Hey, he’s a doctor and a Daddy, who better to talk to? I’ll check with Hack too, of course.”
“No! You will not check with Hack.”
“He’s your doctor. I was gonna talk to him about it when we got back anyway now that you’re doing better. Or you were, until you started pushing yourself.”
“You can’t talk to Hack. Then I’d never be able to look at him again without dying from embarrassment.”
“Nobody ever died of embarrassment.”
“That doesn’t mean it can’t happen. I’ll go down in history as the first woman to die of embarrassment because her boyfriend went around asking for advice about spanking her.”
“It’s just Doc and Hack. Not like I’ve put a question up online.”
And he thought she should be grateful for that?
“I don’t want a spanking.”
“Then don’t do anything to earn one,” he countered. “No more picking up boxes. Or trying to do too much. Understand?”
“I was just trying to h-help.” A sob broke free and she buried her face into his chest as she started to cry again. “I’m s-sorry. I don’t k-now what’s wrong with me.”
“I do,” he said quietly, pulling her close and rubbing his hand up and down her back. “You’re exhausted and overwrought. You need a break.”
“There’s too much to do.”
“No, there’s not. We have plenty of time to get it all done. You keep going like this, you’re going to put your recovery back or make yourself ill.”
He wasn’t wrong. But she felt like she should be able to do it all. Like she was failing.
“Know what you’re thinking,” he warned her. “You’re not a failure. Doing this is a lot, even if you weren’t recovering from a gunshot.”
“I guess I’m just a bit overwhelmed.”
“Just a bit, huh? Here’s what’s going to happen. You’re having a bath. Then a nap. When you wake up, you’re going to spend some time as Little Millie. We’ll watch Christmas movies, drink hot chocolate, and order in.”
“Nowhere delivers in Nowhere.”
Spike just shook his head and she giggled as she realized what she’d said.
/> “This place is insane.”
Yeah, but she loved it. And the crazy, kooky people who lived here.
“One thing at a time, Millie. We’ll get through it. You and me. Together. Pinky promise?”
“Pinky promise.”
* * *
Millie sat up in bed, rubbing her eyes tiredly. She still had her pacifier in her mouth and she sucked on it a bit longer as she tried to get her bearings. Where was she?
Glancing around, it came to her slowly. Right. Her old room at her grandma’s house in Nowhere. She’d been sleeping. She couldn’t even remember getting into bed. Had she started to fall asleep in the bath? Yikes.
Okay, maybe Spike had been right. Maybe she had needed a nap.
She wouldn’t tell him that, though.
She didn’t want him to get the idea that he could put her down for a nap every day. As though she’d conjured him up by thinking about him, he walked in the door carrying a bottle filled with a chocolate protein shake.
Yummy.
“Damn. You look cute.”
She glanced down at herself. Somehow, he’d managed to get her into one of her Christmas onesies. She had a vague recollection of being very little help when he’d been dressing her. In the end, he’d laid her on the bed and dressed her much as one would a baby.
The onesie was green and had Santa’s, reindeer, and snowmen on it.
Setting the bottle on the nightstand, he sat on the bed beside her. She scooted over to give him more room. He reached up a hand to her mouth and she spat out her pacifier. He placed it on the nightstand before he drew her onto his lap. Then he grabbed the bottle and held it to her lips. She sighed with happiness as she gulped it down.
“Hmm, someone is thirsty.” He gave her a firm look. “When was the last time you had any water?”
Umm.
“I can see I haven’t been keeping a close enough eye on you. That’s gonna stop. After this bottle, you can drink a whole bottle of water.”
Great. She’d be peeing all afternoon.
“Mrs. Spain called. She’s going to bring us over some vegetarian casserole and mashed potatoes for dinner.”
A Little Christmas Cheer Page 10