by Cindy Dees
“I am.”
“My patient’s been demanding to see someone by that name, whom I gather is a rather independent-minded pilot of the female persuasion.”
Tom was alive.
Annie smiled widely, relieved to the point of tears. “Can I see him?”
“Please do. Maybe he’ll stay in bed if you’re here. He’s been threatening to get up and search the ship to find you.”
Annie stepped through the door. Tom lay in a bed, eyes closed. His chest was bare, and a white sheet was pulled up to his waist. His left shoulder was swathed in a white bandage. She hesitated in the doorway, unsure of what to say to him. He looked different, somehow. More authoritative, more an officer. Less her lover and companion of the last weeks. “Hi.”
His eyes opened. “Hi.” His voice was gruff.
“I hear there’s a soldier in here who needs to be convinced to stay in bed,” she said lightly.
He gave her a long, inscrutable look. His eyes were that stormy shade of gray blue they turned when he was angry. “We need to talk, Annie.”
“About what?”
“About your suicidal tendencies.”
She blinked. “My what?”
“You heard me.”
He wasn’t joking. She stepped fully into the room and shut the door behind her.
He continued, “I didn’t put it all together until a few minutes ago. You’ve been running around trying to be Superwoman the last few months because you felt guilty about dragging me through the jungle.”
She frowned. “And your point?”
He stared intently at her, his direct gaze cutting straight into her soul. “You were right about Simon Pettigrew. I have been running around trying to be a hero to make amends for getting him killed.”
Annie started. She hadn’t expected ever to hear such an admission out of him.
He continued, “But you’re doing the very same thing.” His voice took on a sense of urgency. “You’ve got to stop it. You made a reasonable decision under the circumstances out in that jungle.”
“But—”
He cut her off. “I didn’t die. You didn’t screw up.“
“But—”
He raised a hand, silencing her protest. She stepped forward involuntarily when he winced at the movement.
“No buts. You’ve got to let go of your guilt.”
“What about my not telling you?”
“I forgive you.”
“For real?”
“Yeah, for real. Who am I to argue with you for making a judgment call. If you thought the time wasn’t right to tell me who you were, I can accept that. I may not like it, but I can accept it and move on.”
“You’re sure?”
“I’m sure,” he said seriously. “For your own good, you need to let it go, too.”
She stared at him in silence. As hard as it was to hear his words, he was right. She had started doing the same thing that she’d watched him do to himself. He’d all but destroyed himself from the inside out. Was that really the path she wanted to go down?
She looked at Tom, lying in a hospital bed yet again. It was a miracle he’d survived as long as he had with a death wish ticking away inside him like a time bomb. She stepped close, staring down at him intently. “Tell you what. I’ll let go of my guilt if you’ll let go of your fear.”
He frowned up at her. “Explain.”
“Tom, you’re afraid of love.”
He reeled back, staring at her, a stunned expression in his eyes.
She plowed on. He’d given it to her straight; she owed him nothing less in return. “You fell in love once. With a woman who betrayed you and your men. Have you ever loved another woman since then?”
“I’ve been too busy,” he protested.
She replied gently, “You’d have made time for love if you wanted it.”
His gaze slid away, and he went very still. He’d gone to a place inside himself where she couldn’t follow.
It was killing her to tear open his old wounds like this. It might very well cost her the man she loved. But he had to hear it. He had to face his demons once and for all.
She waited for several minutes, but he didn’t speak. Finally she couldn’t stand it anymore. “You’ve punished yourself worse than any one man deserves to be punished, by denying yourself love all these years.”
His gaze finally turned back to her. “You know, ever since I woke up in the hospital three months ago I’ve been afraid of what was happening to me. I didn’t know what it was. It felt like I was losing control of myself, and no matter what I did, part of me just kept slipping through my fingers.”
She tilted her head quizzically.
He continued slowly, searching for words. “The funny thing is, I spent all that time convinced I was losing the most important part of myself, when in fact I was finding it again.”
She managed to force out, “What are you saying?”
“I’m saying you taught me how to feel again. You showed me that my well-being counted to somebody. That it mattered if I lived or died.” His voice trailed off to a near whisper. “You taught me how to love again, angel.”
A smile started deep down in her soul and burst forth throughout her entire being.
He held out his arms to her. “Come here.”
She perched on the bed beside him.
“So where were you for the past half-hour while I was asking for you?” he asked lightly.
Annie grimaced. “Getting my butt royally chewed by the admiral.”
“And a richly deserved butt-chewing it was,” he growled. “If you ever pull a foolish stunt like that again, I’ll help your boss kick whatever’s left of your butt into next year. Is that understood?”
She glared back at him. “No, it’s not. I’d make the same decision again any day of the week and twice on Sunday. There was no way I was leaving you to die. I nearly killed you once, and I won’t have that on my conscience a second time. I love you, damn it.”
“Is that a fact?”
She matched his belligerent tone. “Yeah. As a matter of fact it is.”
He smiled at her. “Glad to hear it. I was worried that when we got out of Gavarone and you were safe again, you’d realize you’d been clinging to me because you were scared and not because you truly cared for me.”
“And here I was, worrying that I was just a convenient female and that you didn’t really care for me.”
He snorted. “Trust me. You were not convenient by any stretch of the imagination.”
She glared at him, but it was hard not to break into a smile.
“Are you sure you can stand being around a beat-up old remnant like me, angel?”
She considered him thoughtfully. “I think I might just be able to stand having a fossil like you hanging around.”
A smile lit up his face and went all the way to the back of his eyes. “Have you got any bright ideas on how to bribe me to stay in bed while I recuperate?”
“Well, I could kiss you. That is, if you promise to stay in bed the rest of the day.”
He considered her in turn. “Hmm. I’d need a sample before I accepted such a deal.”
“I think we could arrange that.” Annie leaned down toward him but then stopped. She looked deeply into his midnight-blue eyes. “I thought I’d lost you today.”
“I thought I’d lost you, too, angel. Don’t you ever do anything so heroic—or dangerous—again. You hear me?”
Annie laughed. “Only if you’ll agree to the same.”
He looked at her seriously. “The doctor says my femur’s shattered. I’m going to need surgery and some heavy-duty physical therapy to repair it. Today was it for me. My days as a field commander are over.”
She put her hand over his. “Oh, Tom. I’m so sorry.”
“You know, a few months ago, that would’ve torn me up pretty bad.”
“And now?”
“Now I’m hoping maybe you’ll agree to take a nice, quiet staff position at a boring,
out-of-the way Air Force base while I run Blackjack Ops.”
Annie’s heart skipped a beat. “What are you saying?”
He gave her a withering look. “What do you think I’m saying? I’m asking you to marry me.”
She started to fling herself at him and then remembered how badly he was injured. She stopped short of touching him.
“You’d better kiss me fast, angel, or I’m going to get out of bed and start doing calisthenics.”
Gazing lovingly into his smoky-blue eyes, she drew close to him. Just before her lips touched his, she paused long enough to whisper, “Welcome back from hell, Tom.”
EPILOGUE
Dutch tugged on his mess dress, and the rows of medals on his chest rattled like a baby’s toy. God, he hated this monkey suit. Only a cause as worthy as Tom Foley’s wedding could convince him to don the damned thing.
The door behind him opened, and the groom himself stepped into the church’s dressing room.
“Hey, Tom. How’re you holding up?”
“Fine. Ready to get this show on the road and make it official. You have the ring, right?”
Dutch laughed. “What kind of best man would I be if I lost the ring? Relax, boss. I’ve got your back.”
“Where are the other guys?” Tom looked around nervously.
“They went across the hall to give Annie a little moral support.” Dutch clapped him on the shoulder. “I’m not sure I’ve ever seen you this uptight, old man. Not even in that whorehouse in Gavarone when you thought you were going to have to have a three way with Annie and a high-priced hooker.”
“You can fuck all the way off, Dutch,“ Tom laughed.
Laughter sounded from the doorway and Tom turned around to shake hands with the other members of the Blackjacks. They were all here. Tex, Mac, Doc, and even anti-social Howdy.
“All right, men. You’re all clear on the plan of attack?” Tom said briskly.
Dutch grinned and shook his head. “This isn’t a combat mission.”
“It damned well feels like one,” Tom grumbled.
Tex piped up. “Let’s go get you and the prettiest girl this side of Abilene hitched.”
Tom looked around at all of them with gratitude there were no words to express. Dutch knew the feeling. The six of them had been to Hell and back more times than he could count. It was fitting that they shared this most joyous of days, too.
The guys headed for the dressing room door, and Dutch felt his cell phone vibrate. Everyone on earth he gave a damn about was here in this room. And the Blackjacks were stood down in a training cycle so their team leader could get married. Who could be calling him?
“Hello,” he bit out. “Now’s not a great time—“
“Jim. It’s me. Julia.”
Before she even said her name, he recognized the sexy timbre of her voice, the faint Spanish lilt in her voice.
His knees threatened to buckle out from under him. What the hell? “Why are you calling me?” he demanded. “You know I—“
“Never want to talk to me again,” she interrupted. “I know, Jim. But this is important. Life and death important.”
Tex called from down the hall. “You comin’, Dutch?”
He called back, “I’ll be right there.” Into the phone he growled under his breath, “What do you want from me?”
“I have to see you. Talk to you.”
“About what?”
Her voice dropped to a near whisper, and she spoke fast, as if she was scared about being overheard. “I’ll be skiing in Colorado two days from now. My father’s men will be with me, but I’ll find a way to lose them. Come alone. The Blackjacks would draw too much attention. My father’s men know what all of you look like.”
“Julia,” he ground out. “You’ve got to give me more than that.”
“I’ll give it all to you when I see you. I promise.”
The line went dead.
What the actual fuck?
“Dutch!”
He called back irritably. “I’m coming.”
And apparently, he was going skiing this weekend. With the woman who ruined his life…
GET HOT SOLDIER SPY
Read Hot Soldier Spy here, the smoking hot story of Special Forces operative, Jim Dutcher, and Julia Ferrare, the woman who broke his heart and destroyed his life ten years ago. Daughter of his arch enemy, she has surfaced from his past, pleading for protection he’s loathe to give her. Sparks fly between them as her father, international crime lord, Eduardo Ferrare, closes in on them with violent intent.
She claims she's running away from her father to turn state’s evidence against him, but is she playing a deeper game? Jim has to connect with Julia and keep her alive long enough to figure out her real motives. As attraction explodes between them and her father closes in for the kill, Jim and Julia must run for their lives and their love.
A PLEA FROM THE AUTHOR
Dearest Reader,
Thanks so much for reading Hot Soldier Down! I appreciate you, and I deeply appreciate you giving your valuable time to my story. I truly hope I entertained you—being a writer is an awesome job and I’m blessed that you make it possible for me to write my stories.
If you would like to know more about my other books, please visit my website at http://cindydees.com
I love to talk with readers, and you can contact me on Facebook, Twitter, or by email. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!
Last, but not least, if you enjoyed this book and would like to help me write more stories, please consider taking a minute to leave a review on Amazon, Goodreads, or anywhere else readers visit. The most important part of helping a book to sell well is how many positive reviews it has, so if you leave me one you are directly helping me continue my journey as a writer. Thanks in advance for helping me out! A few words from you, or even just clicking some stars, will make a huge difference for me.
All my best, and happy reading!
Cindy
MORE BOOKS BY CINDY DEES
detailed descriptions and links to purchase all of these titles can be found at http://cindydees.com/shop/
The Blackjacks
Hot Soldier’s Chase (Oct 2017)
Hot Soldier Cowboy (Oct 2017)
Hot Soldier Down (Oct 2017)
Hot Soldier Spy (Nov 2017)
Hot Soldier Bodyguard (Dec 2017)
Hot Soldier Sniper (Jan 2018)
Hot Soldier’s Rescue (Feb 2018)
Hot Soldier’s Mission (Mar 2018)
Hot Soldier’s Heart (Apr 2018)
Single-Title Releases
(Take the Bait, prequel novella to Close Pursuit)
Close Pursuit
Hot Intent
Women in Arms
Fever Zone
Kill Zone
Hot Zone
Code: Warrior SEALS
Undercover with a SEAL
Her Secret Spy
Her Hero After Dark
Her Mission with a SEAL
Code X
Deadly Sight
Flash of Death
Breathless Encounter
The Prescott Bachelors
High-Stakes Bodyguard
High-Stakes Bachelor
High-Stakes Playboy
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Cindy Dees is the New York Times and USA Today bestselling author of over fifty books, 2-time RITA winner, five-time RITA finalist, and RT Lifetime Achievement Nominee. She writes military romance and romantic suspense novels. A former U.S. Air Force pilot and part-time spy, she draws upon real-life experience to fuel her stories, and she stays very busy self-publishing and writing for Harlequin and Tor Publishing.
She loves to talk with readers, and all her contacts are below. Also, if you’d like free books, sneak peeks, exclusive content, giveaways, her latest news, and much MORE, you can join her VIP Squadron at http://bit.ly/Cindy_Dees_VIP_List
You can contact Cindy at:
cindydees.com
[email protected]
ISBN: 978-0-9960884-2-8
Hot Soldier Down
Copyright © 2017 by Cynthia Dees
First Publication 2002, Revised Edition 2017
All rights reserved. Except for use in any review, the reproduction or utilization of this work in whole or in part in any form by any electronic, mechanical or other means, now known or hereafter invented, including xerography, photocopying and recording, or in any information storage or retrieval system, is forbidden without the written permission of the author, at www.cindydees.com.
All characters in this book have no existence outside the imagination of the author and have no relation whatsoever to anyone bearing the same name or names. They are not even distantly inspired by any individual known or unknown to the author, and all incidents are pure invention.
Created with Vellum
Table of Contents
Table of Contents
Summary
Praise for Cindy Dees
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Epilogue
Get Hot Soldier Spy
A Plea From The Author
More Books By Cindy Dees
About the Author
Copyright