“Thanks.” MaKayla took it and headed toward the kitchen.
Gabe followed. “I wanted to apologize for tonight. I shouldn’t have said all that stuff.”
“Thanks.” MaKayla waited for him to elaborate, to tell her what had happened with Natasha, but he turned away.
MaKayla placed her hands in her lap as she remembered Susan’s hostility at their first luncheon. “Who’s Natasha?” she blurted.
Gabe pivoted so quickly his hands flew out and he knocked a picture off the wall. MaKayla jumped, and Gabe dived for the frame. It didn’t break, and he took a moment to place it back on the wall. “Who told you about Natasha?”
“Susan.” MaKayla was still reeling from his reaction. “She said she had to babysit your girlfriends and Natasha was the worst of the bunch.”
“Let’s get one thing straight. There weren’t a bunch of girlfriends; there was one.”
Though the adrenaline slowed, MaKayla’s heart still beat much too fast at the thought of another woman in Gabe’s arms. “Natasha.”
“Yes, Natasha. I imagine that Susan did have to babysit her.” He rubbed his fingers across his forehead.
“So, she did this job before me?” A big part of MaKayla screamed for answers. She wanted to know everything. How they met? How long they were together? Why did they break up? Did they live together? How long after they broke up did he marry MaKayla? And the list went on. It was like a computer program generating error messages over and over in her head.
“Yeah.” Gabe leaned into the wall as if trying to escape this conversation. One look at his miserable eyes and MaKayla couldn’t force herself to pound him for information. He was obviously upset by the breakup and probably wasn’t over Natasha yet.
The thought made MaKayla fold her arms, as if she could protect her heart from the incidental damage caused by a woman she had never met. If Gabe was still in love with Natasha, why had he kissed her? Not that he’d tried since their encounter in the library. That alone should have told her something. She thought he was being a gentleman, but maybe there was something more, something he wasn’t ready to conquer. There were a thousand reasons for that stricken look on Gabe’s face, and try as she might, the worst ones were the hardest to dismiss.
MaKayla cleared her throat. “Well, I guess that explains Susan’s hostility. I guess I’ll just have to keep proving that I’m capable and one day she might lighten up.” Or move, or get fired, or fall down a flight of steep stairs …
“I’m sure once the ball is over, she’ll see that you’re more than capable.”
“Thanks.”
Gabe stared at the picture on the wall. MaKayla left him there and hurried to her room. The fact that Gabe hadn’t given her a straight answer about Natasha—or any answers, really—didn’t escape her notice. Maybe one day he’d trust her enough to open up. If not, she’d have to move on.
That was the plan, anyway.
Chapter 19
For MaKayla, the next couple of weeks were a whirlwind as she finalized plans for the Thanksgiving Day race, did a power dance with Susan, and managed the little dinners and luncheons that always seemed to pop up for her and Gabe.
In short, she was having the time of her life.
She took Gabe’s apology at face value and decided there wasn’t anything she could do if he clamped shut. In a way, his lack of communication made it easier for MaKayla to relax because the line had finally been drawn. It hurt when it happened, but now she was grateful it was there. Gabe relaxed too. They fell into a routine at home that allowed them to avoid private moments together. Which was good, because no matter what line they’d drawn, MaKayla was still drawn to Gabe in a very physical way. She sensed his attraction to her was still in force, but he did well at keeping it under control.
Besides, the job was everything she’d ever wanted—except the fact that she worked for Gabe and was not the one who the owned company. Only, it didn’t feel like she was working for him, as they often worked together.
The night before the race, she met Gabe at the elevator. They had several last-minute decisions to go over. She checked her bag to make sure she had all the files they would need to cover during dinner and a pen dropped from behind her ear. Gabe reached down to pick it up. She smiled as she said, “Thanks,” her fingers brushing his.
A wicked half-grin played at his lips and he said, “My pleasure.”
MaKayla’s heart flipped. Even with her mind firmly on her side of the great divide, her body reacted to every touch, as though Gabe were filled with static electricity. He placed his hand on her back to guide her into the elevator, and she leaned into him.
“Where are we going for dinner?” she asked.
“I thought you could use a low-key night, so I ordered take out from Antonio’s. You want to load up on carbs for the race, right?”
MaKayla’s brain stalled. A quiet dinner at home? That wasn’t their normal routine. However, it would make it easier to get to sleep earlier.
Steve, the BMB personal trainer, had her all primed and ready to run a good time. She’d even shaved off three minutes from her personal best on her 5k practice run two Saturdays ago. It would be awesome to toast Brooke for once
She sighed. “I would if I were running, but there’s no way I’m going to be able to keep things moving at base camp if I’m two miles away.”
“Can’t Sharon take over?”
“Hmm, we’ll have to see how things go tomorrow.”
They stopped at the restaurant, and Gabe ran in while MaKayla returned a phone call. She was just wrapping things up, when Gabe placed the bag in the back seat and climbed behind the wheel. She mouthed, “I’m sorry,” as her call continued.
He waved off her concern.
“No, we need the shoelace timers because we’ve been classified as a qualifying race. I understand that, but I’m sure there’s a way to make it happen.” Pause. “Why don’t you talk it over with them and call me back tomorrow to let me know what you’ve decided.”
MaKayla tucked her phone into her purse. “Okay, no more phone calls.” Somehow David had disappeared that afternoon without either of them knowing where he went. MaKayla suspected Brooke had something to do with it, but she didn’t answer her text. Neither David nor Brooke would spill about the other, so things were either going very well or they were tanking fast. “Wait, one more text. I need to ask David about the caterer.”
“You’re fine. Technically we aren’t sitting down to dinner yet.”
She quickly sent the text. “In that case, let’s go over the planning luncheon next week.” She made a face as she opened her iPad and found the notes folder.
“You don’t seem excited.”
“Don’t get me wrong; I love the hospital ball. I’ve had a blast putting together the details, getting other companies involved, and even selecting food that goes with the theme. I mean, the baby crepes with a dusting of powdered sugar are going to look stunning on the navy blue plates, and my inner event planner is seriously swooning at the sketches for the ice sculptures. But the hospital planning committee is a snore fest.”
Gabe burst out laughing.
MaKayla placed her hand on his forearm. “I’m serious. The old men completely lack vision and, and …” MaKayla stuttered. She was about to complain about Susan, but they hadn’t talked about Susan or Natasha in weeks and she was getting too close to that line. “Some people are difficult to work with for no apparent reason.” MaKayla had a slight indication of what she did that ticked Susan off; not paying for lunch had been a dig. But Susan came in with a grudge that was mostly Natasha’s fault—okay, all Natasha’s fault. MaKayla didn’t even know the woman, but she didn’t like her. It wasn’t Christian, but neither was what Natasha had done to Gabe.
“I’m sure you’ll win them over. Just take in those sketches and they’ll start to see what you see.”
Gabe grabbed the food, and as they found plates, cups, and forks, for dinner, MaKayla worked to eliminate thoughts o
f Natasha from her mind. The woman wasn’t in the house, MaKayla was. Natasha didn’t have a wedding ring, MaKayla did. There was no evidence, no pictures, no feminine touches that looked leftover from girlfriends past in the house that would make her feel uncomfortable or suspicious, so she pushed the whole thing to the back of her mind and concentrated on her pasta primavera.
They covered all the little business items on her list, and MaKayla flipped her iPad shut and leaned back in her chair as she twirled noodles around her fork. “There’s one thing I never asked, but after seeing how much money you put into these charities for children and the effort you make on their behalf, I have to know. Why?”
Gabe wiped his lips with his napkin before taking a sip of water. He leaned forward, resting his forearms on the table as he spoke. “I don’t …” He paused, crumpled his napkin, tossed it on his plate, and smiled as though he was giving up a fight and conceding to the winner. Pointing at the stack of files next to her plate, he said, “My brother, Michael, was sexually abused by a family friend. He lived with it for a couple years, until the guy moved away.”
MaKayla’s hand flew to her mouth. She’d never met Gabe’s brother. There was a picture of the two of them hung in the library; they were both young, two or three years apart, with their arms slung over each other’s shoulders and popsicle stains on their faces. They had the same brown hair and blue eyes, though Gabe was a bit chubbier because of his age. She and Brooke had a similar picture in their family photo album.
“He’d changed, drawn deeper into himself over the years, and when he turned eighteen he told a counselor at the school what had happened. My parents were devastated. They filed charges right away. Michael saw through the trial and made sure the guy went to jail. Three months later Michael was killed in a car wreck.”
Tears pooled in MaKayla’s eyes as he spoke. She automatically thought of Brooke, of what she would have done if her best friend had gone through something like that and then died. Her heart ached for the loss Gabe had experienced at such a young age. Then she thought of Michael, of the horrors he had lived through and the awful secret he was forced to carry.
“Hey.” Gabe leaned over and brushed each tear away as it fell. “Hey.”
“I’m sorry. I just can’t imagine.” MaKayla couldn’t stop the tears. Gabe stood and pulled her to his chest, wrapping his arms around her and rubbing her back. “You shouldn’t be comforting me. I should be the one holding you,” she mumbled into his shirt.
“No one’s stopping you,” he said, his voice heavy.
MaKayla slid her arms around his middle and held on for all she was worth. Gabe cleared his throat, as if he were having a hard time maintaining his composure, and she moved her arms around his neck and stood on tiptoes so she could rest her chin on his shoulder. “I’m so sorry for your loss.”
He pulled back to look at her, and she saw the tears in his eyes. “Sometimes it just hits me. I try not to talk about it often, because I’d rather do something than sit around and cry.”
“Yeah, but crying is good for you. It releases the bad chemicals in your body, it cleanses.”
Chuckling, Gabe kissed her nose. “Now you sound like a girl.”
MaKayla gasped at his kiss. He hadn’t kissed her since that day in the library—it was supposed to be off-limits. Of course, a kiss on the nose was hardly romantic, except that it did crazy things to her heart and made it flutter around inside her chest.
To cover up her reaction, she pretended to be offended and slid out of his arms. “There’s nothing wrong with being a girl.” She gave him a little shove and picked up her plate to take it to the sink. She needed to get back on steady ground, so she asked, “What about the hospital fundraiser?”
“My dad had to have a new heart valve put in, and they were the ones that did the work.”
Heart valves usually lasted ten years. “How long ago was that?”
“It will be five years this Christmas.”
“Ah, hence the Christmas Ball.”
Gabe smiled.
“Have all the charities done something for you or helped someone you love?”
“Most of them, some I just can’t say no to.”
Closing the dishwasher, MaKayla watched Gabe put the napkins in the garbage, and her breath caught in her throat. “You’re a good man, Gabe Russell.”
Her heart stopped pounding and swelled with emotion. Sure Gabe was good-looking—scratch that, he was gorgeous—but he was also kind, thoughtful, and giving, not to mention an extremely good kisser. That last thought made her press her lips together, as if she could stop the memory.
Gabe crossed the kitchen to where she stood in front of the sink, and brushed his fingers across her cheek, sending her heart back into flutter mode. “That means a lot to me, coming from you.”
Clutching at the counter behind her, MaKayla breathed in his masculine scent and closed her eyes. Sometimes, like now, he was so close that she felt his presence caress her skin. When she opened her eyes, he was watching her, waiting for her to make a move. MaKayla thought about that kiss in the library. It was a magical moment, one she’d relived a hundred times over in her head. One she desperately wanted to repeat, but she didn’t want to break the fragile treaty that made it possible to be his wife and still maintain her identity, her dreams.
Gabe didn’t wait too long. Giving her a half smile, he said, “I have to send an email to David. Are we good here?”
MaKayla held still. If she took her hands off the counter, they would wrap themselves around Gabe’s neck and hold him there, possibly forever. Instead of answering, because who knew what her voice would do if she let it have a chance, she nodded.
Gabe disappeared into the office, and MaKayla panicked. There were more emotions running through her than she could manage. She wanted to run around the house jumping and dive into the pool. Instead of doing either, she dug her phone out of her bag. She paced around the table waiting for Brooke to answer.
“What’s up?” asked Brooke.
“I’m ready to spill?”
“You mean about Gabe.”
“Yeah.”
“Yeah. So?”
“So, I can’t do that anymore. This careful thing.”
“Why, did he kiss you again?”
“No, but I wanted him to.” MaKayla sat in one of the chairs.
“Why didn’t you kiss him?”
Dropping her head to the table, MaKayla groaned. “Because I can’t just kiss him.”
“Why not? You two are married, for the love of Pete. You can do whatever you want. If you want his body you can have it—no biggie.”
MaKayla groaned again.
Brooke cursed. “Holy shiz, you’re in love with him.”
“Thanks for summing it up.”
“I still don’t get why this is such a big deal to you.”
“Because we promised that we wouldn’t get in the way of each other’s dreams.”
“How is loving your husband going to stop you from opening a business?”
MaKayla sat up and rubbed at the spot in the middle of her forehead. “It changes things.”
“Yeah—for the better.”
“No. If I do it with him, it’s not mine. How will I know I made it happen, that I was capable? That I’m strong enough to face the world and come off the conqueror?”
“MaKayla. Oh, I could strangle you. It’s harder to conquer fear than it is to conquer the world.”
“Really?”
“Yes!”
Hugging the phone to her cheek, MaKayla practically whispered, “What if he doesn’t love me back?”
MaKayla felt a hand on her shoulder, and she tipped her head to see Gabe standing behind her. As her face flamed, he took the phone from her hand and said, “I don’t think you have to worry about that.” Locking his eyes to hers, he put the phone to his ear and told Brooke, “She’ll call you back.” Without waiting for a reply, he hit the end button.
MaKayla wanted to both crawl int
o a hole and jump for joy. Identifying her feelings was brand-new, and yet she knew she’d felt this way since the moment Gabe bought her that first cup of mint tea when she was sick. He’d been there for her since the day they met and were married, and she knew he was the type of guy who would be there every day of her life, if he really did love her. What she’d first seen as greed and micromanagement was really a manifestation of Gabe’s ability to feel things so deeply that he committed himself to them with all that he had: his time, his money, and his attention. He not only wanted to make the world a better place; he constantly strove to make her world a better place. Biting her lip, she wondered if all that effort added up to the love she hoped he had for her, because there was no way she could stop the way she loved him.
Gabe moved so he could place one hand on the table and one on the back of her chair. He pressed his forehead against hers and closed his eyes. MaKayla did the same, as she allowed her hands to go around his neck. They hovered over the moment, testing the waters before diving in.
As Gabe brushed his lips over hers, MaKayla sighed. His kisses came again and again, and soon she was standing in his arms, digging her fingers into the hair on the back of his head and matching his passion kiss for kiss.
Gabe pressed her against him, his strong arms gently lifting her—or maybe she was floating, it didn’t matter—as he deepened the kiss, holding her as if she could become a part of him. MaKayla hesitated. Could she become a part of him and still be herself? As his lips went to her jaw, her neck, and then her mouth once again, she realized she didn’t care if she lost herself as long as she lost herself in this moment, and she sighed against him, whispering his name.
As she felt herself get lost in his kisses, she panicked. “Gabe.”
“Hmm,” he hummed against her neck, as he continued to kiss his way toward her shoulder, sending shivers of anticipation down her arms.
As much as she wanted to be whisked away, she was scared to put everything on the line. Not just her heart, but her whole future, her business, her career, her life. “Gabe, I, this …”
The Organized Bride (Billionaire Marriage Brokers Book 2) Page 12