by Oram, Jean
Just. Like. That.
Her whole life had changed.
Katie plunged her head into her hands, then sagged against the bench’s snowy backrest. A clump of snow fell off the bush behind her, going down the neck of her coat. She gasped at the cold and tried to fish the chunk out with frozen fingers.
Her life had been fine less than forty-eight hours ago. And now it was… Well, whatever it was, it was Nash’s fault. If it weren’t for him, she would have said yes to Will. If it weren’t for Mary Alice, she wouldn’t be thinking about Nash. If it weren’t for Nash, she wouldn’t be thinking about changing careers. If it weren’t for…oh, who was she kidding? She hadn’t been happy in so long she couldn’t even remember what true joy felt like.
She hadn’t been unhappy, but she hadn’t had that twinkle-in-the-eye, heart-lifting exuberant love for life in so long, she wasn’t sure it was still possible.
She was like Beth had been when Oz had dumped her.
Exactly like Beth.
Then Nash had come in, shaken everything up and left again. He’d changed Beth’s life irrevocably. For the better. And then Beth went back to Oz.
There was no way Katie was going back to Will. She’d refused him. Beth had never refused Oz. Not like this.
Tears blazed stinging trails down Katie’s frozen cheeks.
The door beside her creaked open, the hydraulics unhappy with the subzero temperature.
“Katie?”
Nash. Of course.
“You okay?”
“Peachy.”
“Mary Alice said you’re quitting?” There was a hitch of disbelief in his voice.
“Looks like it.” There was that swarm, doing its work. “So, what’s wrong with her?”
“Mary Alice? Nothing a little medical attention won’t fix.”
“She’s not dying?”
“Not today. However, I doubt she is truly invincible. She does believe it’s her time to go, though. Patients are usually wrong about that when it is their first brush with mortality.”
The relief Katie felt was unexpected, and tears began in earnest. “I have to change my life.” She sobered up suddenly. Too much crying. Enough wallowing in self-pity. It was time to form a new life plan.
What was she thinking? Her former life plan had trapped her in a career she wasn’t passionate about, and hoping a man she didn’t love would ask her to become his wife.
Although, possibly it wasn’t the plan as much as her focusing on it too much. She should have checked to see what could be added or deleted from it every so often, as things—including herself—changed. She hadn’t even seriously considered what else was out there for her and how she could get it.
“What are you going to do?” Nash asked gently, as he tucked a blanket from the warmer over her lap. How long had he been watching her wallow out here, trying desperately to pull the unraveling threads of her existence back together? Her life was a sock that could not be darned, the weave too worn and loose to be mended. She needed to start over. Weave her own sock, one that would be strong enough to contain her real life. A life that could be bigger.
Katie stood, letting the heated blanket fall into the snow. Her legs felt the chill immediately, making her regret standing. “I’m going to… I’m going to…” She stared into the white space behind Nash. The wind had suddenly died, the flakes turning fatter. Beautiful. Sparkling as the sun strived to sneak through a break in the storm.
Nash appeared in front of her and she blinked to focus on him instead.
“You okay?” He shivered, hands clutched in front of him. He wasn’t wearing a coat or gloves and there was a layer of snow on his blond hair. His nose and cheeks had turned an alarming shade of red.
“Yeah, fine. Let’s go inside.”
“It’s a gong show in there. If you want to talk, let’s do it here.”
“You’re freezing.”
“I feel as though I’ve tossed your world upside down. Gran is giving me dirty looks…I’m guessing you didn’t say yes to Will?”
Katie sighed, her chest tight with a trapped hiccup.
“I don’t want today to come between us,” he added.
“Nash…” Katie shifted awkwardly, not meeting his eyes. Her feet were in danger of frostbite, as was most of him.
He cupped her face with his icy hands. “Katie, shh. It’s okay.” He placed his mouth against hers, the coldness shocking. As they kissed, their lips warmed, and Katie was unable to resist wrapping her arms around him, even when it made her coat dip down, exposing the damp skin on the nape of her neck where the snow had melted. It was worth it.
The door creaked open. “Really? Him? You said no for him?” Will gave Katie a disgusted glare and stormed past, looking ridiculous when he tried to wade through the waist-deep snow.
“Will. You can’t go out in this. It’s too dangerous.”
“Up yours, Katie!”
“Will! It’s not safe. Come back here. I don’t want the plow finding your frozen body in the morning.”
“I’ll make sure to die where it can’t find me.”
“Will. Come on.”
“You aren’t the boss of me!” He continued to wade through the snow, scrambling up a hard drift fifteen feet away, which proved to be Katie’s car. Lovely. Good luck driving home before spring thaw.
Nash shook his head, more amused than anything. “I can’t kiss you anywhere, can I?”
Mary Alice zipped by on her snowmobile and stopped beside Will. “Look at that sunshine!” she hollered. She gestured to the seat behind her and he climbed on.
“Where’s my dad?” Katie called over the whine of the snow machine.
“I’m picking him up at the other door. Amy’s got him ready.”
“Did you release him?” Katie asked, turning to Nash.
He scratched his ear. “Kind of.”
“Are you kidding me?”
“You’ll be there, right? That’s what Mary Alice said.” He tucked his hands in his armpits and hunched his shoulders. “Plus, I was invited over for supper.”
“He could…he’s…” Katie sighed. “Whatever.” She turned and went inside, the heater above the door blasting her with dry heat that made her frozen skin prickle.
Nash followed her in. “Katie?”
“What?” She continued walking.
“Are you moving to the city?”
“Why?”
“Mary Alice said you’re moving to the city, and I’d like to see you. Take you out for dinner. Or if you’d like, you could stay with me while you intern.”
“Nash…” Katie whirled. “I was spouting off, okay? Eggnog talking. I haven’t even spoken to your friend Monica.”
“You’re drinking on the job?”
“I’m kidding. I’m flustered. I just threw my life against the windshield of a speeding truck.”
He was doing that close-in-on-her thing where suddenly you found yourself trapped. But his eyes were kind and she sort of wanted him to trap her. Why? Because this man saw the real Katie. The one everyone else scoffed at for liking stain-free clothes. And he wanted to break her free so she could frolic in her own fields for a while.
“I can wait. I’ve already waited two years,” he told her.
“What are you talking about?”
“You. Us.”
Whoops. Knees kind of weakened a bit there. Did he just say that? Really?
Man, he was good.
“I’ve always been here,” she whispered.
“You were taken. And despite what you think of me, I don’t steal another man’s woman.” His right hand caressed her cold cheek. She wanted to curl into his grasp, warm herself on him and whatever he was offering.
“What are you saying, Nash?”
“I want you, Katie. You and me. We’re like oil and vinegar, but in a good way.” She frowned and he smiled. A soft one. He brought his forehead to hers. “Like bread-dipping oil. A touch of red wine vinegar, extra virgin olive oil, and a few herbs.”<
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“Who are you calling a virgin?”
His smile stretched. “And, honestly, I could do without those herbs poking about.” His eyes flicked to the door they’d just come through.
“Yeah,” she replied softly. “Me, too.”
“Just us. Me and you.”
That settled the emotions whirling within Katie. Us.
Never a better sounding word in the world.
Chapter 6
Katie finished helping patients with their Christmas dinner, while aching for her family. She didn’t expect to want to be home with them for the big meal, but knowing that even her father had made it to enjoy everyone’s home-cooked favorites sucked. Her mother had called a few minutes ago to let her know that he was doing just fine.
Katie was off shift in fifteen minutes, and the snow had let up, but she didn’t think she could get out of here, even if the relief shift made it in.
Nash sidled up beside her and held out her cell phone. “It was ringing. I thought it might be important.”
“Thanks.” Katie glanced at number of the call she’d missed. Mary Alice. Whatever. The woman wasn’t dying, according to Nash, so she didn’t get immunity in terms of telling the whole world Katie was quitting her job. Helping her surprised and upset patients for the past hour had not been fun. They seemed to believe Katie was going to run out on them without giving them their turkey or meds.
“You heading home in fifteen?” Nash asked.
Katie sighed and returned to her station. “I don’t think I’m going anywhere until the plows come in the morning.”
“I heard one working on the ambulance bay a few minutes ago.”
“Really?” Katie perked up, before the sting of disappointment seized her as she realized the residential streets she’d need would likely still be impassable—assuming she could even get her car out. Her other option was to wade through waist-deep, frozen fluff for a half mile. Not worth it. Not even for her mother’s amazing mashed potatoes made with cream and butter.
Nash cocked his head, and without thinking, Katie fell against him, wanting to be close, needing him to reassure her.
“You’re strange,” she said, as he wrapped her in an embrace that filled her heart with smiles.
“Why’s that?” He craned his neck to see her face.
“Because.” She bit her bottom lip, unable to express that around him she felt stronger. But at the same time, she was able to let her vulnerable side show, knowing he’d protect it with his strength. Not like with Will. If she showed her soft underbelly to him, the whole world would devolve into chaos and a big whine-fest. With Nash, it was as though he could take that worry and fear, and mold and shape it with his presence until it became one of her own strengths.
How had he ever been her enemy?
“Keep your friends close and your enemies closer,” she whispered.
Nash held her away from him. “Am I still your enemy?”
“You made me tell Mary Alice I was quitting.”
“I kept your secret.”
“I know.” She snuggled in, her body melting against his again. “And you’re not really my enemy.”
“Good.” He disentangled himself and began walking away, and Katie felt as though she’d hurt a good friend.
“What?” she called.
“I’ll catch you later. I have to do something.”
Yeah, go home to the city. Where she was going to go, as well. Maybe. Oh, boy. Deep breath. “Hey! Didn’t you say you had a gift for me? And you never thanked me for the box of chocolates I gave you yesterday.”
He didn’t answer.
Men. So confusing.
Katie sorted through papers on her desk, thinking about how it felt as though Nash had shuffled her life into the proper order over the past two days. Almost as if her earlier life had been one of those flip-a-card games where she had the body of nurse, a clown’s head, and stockinged legs with heels. Only Nash had flipped through the cards to show her what the real Katie Reiter looked like.
She finished her shift and went to visit Gran, who fell asleep after looking at a few pages of her family photo album. Katie jumped when the relief nurse, Hillary, tapped her shoulder.
“Oh! You scared me,” Katie said, quietly shutting the book.
“I hear you’re leaving us to go become a decorator?”
She rolled her eyes. “It’s just a rumor. I might, though, but nothing is for sure.”
“Well, I think you’d be great at it. When you decorated the nurses’ station for the holidays, you knew just the right amount of cheer to place there.”
“Thanks.”
“And the staff room. The paint color you picked out is perfect. It goes nicely with the furniture.”
“Thanks.”
“And the way you redid Will’s place years ago. I heard that was quite nice. Sort of like one of those reality shows? You know, while you were out shopping we redid your house. Do you think you’ll be on one of those?”
“Hillary…” Katie said, feeling impatient.
She clapped a hand to her mouth. “Oh! I’m so sorry. I forgot you turned Will down. I was so surprised. You kept saying he was going to ask you back. Are you making him wait, for dumping you just before Christmas? I know you have that big stereo for him.” She clamped a palm over her mouth once more. “You returned it? Oh no! Definitely make him wait until after the holidays. Then you don’t have to go buy it back again.”
“No, I just don’t think we are well matched.”
“That’s what your father said.” Hillary mimicked a deep male voice. “Will is a nice guy, but not the right guy.”
“When did he say that?”
“When I stopped by to admire your mom’s decorations earlier. Christmas dinner smelled so good.” She checked her watch. “You’d better get moving. Angelica said she’d hold the meal for you.”
Katie stood. “She did?”
Hillary walked her to the staff room so she could get her coat, while getting the rundown on how the day shift had been. Uneventful other than her father.
“He looked fine, by the way,” Hillary said. “I took his vitals when I stopped in for some eggnog on my way here. And with you staying the night—you are staying at your mom’s and not going to try and get home after supper?” She waited for Katie to respond.
Coat zipped, Katie stared out at the dark parking lot. The streetlights made the snow look beautiful, all crystals and white drifts of indeterminable depths. How was she going to get out?
“Yeah, I guess I’ll stay in my old room. Johnny Depp on the walls…. He’s probably lonely,” she said, mostly to herself. Was she supposed to have redecorated the room when she moved out? Or was her mother that afraid to let go? Thinking her girl might need a place to land and want her old high school movie star crush to be there to catch her?
“Well, have a good night. Merry Christmas.” Hillary turned and walked away, leaving Katie wondering how on earth she was going to get her car out from under that mound of snow, and then somehow plow her way across town to her parents’ place sometime before the New Year. She couldn’t even tell where the roads were.
The whine of a snowmobile grew louder and Katie prepped herself for an emergency. Instead, Mary Alice pulled up, lumbered through the snow and wrenched open the door.
“You coming or what?”
“Or what,” Katie snapped.
“Shut up.” Mary Alice tugged on her arm, reminding her of the one time she’d tried shoplifting, and had gotten caught. Worst. Day. Ever. Having Mary Alice take a round out of her and then hand her off to her parents, so they could take another round out of her.
“Your folks are expecting you.” The woman shoved a helmet at Katie’s gut. “Your mother sent this.”
Katie climbed on behind Mary Alice, secretly grateful. The helmet was warm and a bit too big. Mary Alice didn’t start the machine moving, and Katie followed her line of vision. A man in the hospital doorway. Big coat. Big boots. Alone.
/> Christmas.
Crap.
“Are you coming?” Katie called to Nash. She swore Mary Alice nodded in approval.
Without a word, he pushed through the snow and climbed on behind Katie.
“Can it take us all, Mary Alice?” he asked over the roar of the engine. His voice in Katie’s ear, his body wrapped around hers…shiverama.
She was starting to like winter storms. A lot.
* * *
Angelica dished an extra large scoop of mashed potatoes onto Nash’s plate and beamed at him. “Thank you for joining us tonight.”
“Thank you for having me, Mrs. Reiter.”
“Dear…” From her spot at the table’s end, opposite her husband, she reached to tap Nash’s hand. “Call me Angelica. Please.”
Sitting beside Nash, Katie shifted, trying to avoid her sister-in-law’s questioning gaze. The aromas of warm turkey, spices, and the cranberry-scented candles lining the long table battled to calm her edgy nerves. She enjoyed having Nash here; that wasn’t the problem. It was her father, who was seated to her left. He should be in the hospital. He should be eating Jell-O, not a heavy meal.
“Everyone got here okay?” Katie asked mildly, avoiding meeting Beth’s eye. “The snow wasn’t too bad?”
“We live three houses away.” Oz flicked a pea at her, eliciting a giggle from his toddler son, Benji, who in turn threw a handful at his grandfather. The boy gave a giant laugh, his high chair rocking, as Harvey sent him a stunned look.
“How are you feeling, Dad?” Katie asked.
“Fine. And I have the best nurse and doctor in town at my table. What could go wrong?”
She held her breath. No comment about her quitting? Really?
“I heard a rumor,” her mother began tentatively.
Katie watched her father eye the turkey. “You shouldn’t be eating solid food, Dad. Maybe we could put your meal in Benji’s baby food blender? Beth do you still have it?”
Her father shot her a disgusted look.
“I lent it out,” Beth replied. “Sorry.”