“I’m sure it would, but it’s His Highness who won’t want to go, not with things being so busy nowadays because of the conference next month. It’d also be freezing at this time of year.”
“I see. Well, the mansion is yours at any time.” I smiled.
“Thank you, really. We do have our own though.”
“Really? I didn’t know that.” I took another bite of my food.
“Yes. It’s very close to yours, actually. It used to be my grandfather’s, but he gifted it to my mother when she got married, then she gifted it to me when I did.”
“That’s really nice. We could all go someday together, the four of us.” I got all excited just at the thought.
“Yes, and pigs can fly.”
“Ugh! Fun-killer!”
“Crazy-dreamer!” she called back. “If we all leave, who will take care of things while we’re away? The royal fairies?”
I narrowed my eyes at her. “You’re being mean.”
“Eat, Your Majesty.” She giggled.
Although she was right, I couldn’t help but think of how good it would be to take a break with her. It would be unforgettable.
We were woken abruptly by banging on our bedroom door in the early hours of the morning.
“Your Majesties! Your Majesties!” Hana called from the other side.
“Come in!” I called after I shared a confused look with Mazen.
“Forgive me, Your Majesties,” Hana said apologetically. Her gaze dropped to the floor, but I could see that she was grinning from ear to ear. “but you need to see this.”
Mazen’s frown matched my own. He got up and put on his shirt while Hana handed me my robe and left in a hurry.
“What’s going on?” I asked, but Mazen put his finger to his mouth in a signal to be quiet, seemingly listening for something.
“Oh, man! It can’t be.” Mazen looked delighted all of a sudden.
“What is it?” I asked again, getting impatient as he walked to the window. He pulled the curtains aside and then let out a thrilled laugh.
“Lord! It’s raining, princess! Raining!” he said excitedly, pointing at the window and looking at me with the most adorable expression on his face.
“Really? Oh, my God!” I took a few steps closer to him, and before I could reach him, he met me halfway and took me in his arms, lifting me up and spinning us around. I squealed in excitement, laughing at his reaction to the rain and how happy he looked.
When he put me down, his lips met mine in a passionate kiss. “This is the first time it has rained in three years!” he said with amazement. “You’re our lucky charm. This is going to be a great year, my princess.”
“As long as you’re by my side, angel.” I smiled, earning another kiss that was interrupted by more banging on the door.
“Your Majesties, everyone is waiting,” Hana said through the door.
“Waiting for what?” I asked Mazen.
“I need to go and pray with the others,” he said. “The whole Kingdom will be praying now. It’s a perfect time for a prayer. Come watch!”
“Don’t you have to take a shower first?” I asked, because we had sex last night and he couldn’t go and pray unless he showered first.
“No, it’s not a regular prayer. We’ll ask God for forgiveness and more blessings. Just a dua’. Come!”
Mazen tugged me out of our bedroom, then out of the residence. All of the guards looked enormously excited, like little kids on Christmas morning; it was amazing.
My husband guided me to stand by one of the areas on our floor that had a good view of the garden situated in the center court of the palace. Everyone – male and female, royal, worker, and servant – stood in perfect rows. They weren’t doing their normal prayer; instead, they had their arms raised to the sky while they prayed for everything they desired.
I watched as Mazen joined them, taking his place in the first row behind the Sheikh who married us, and who he sought for any religious advice. Once Mazen was in place, he raised his hands too.
It was easy to hear what they were asking since the Sheikh was speaking into a microphone. It was such a special moment, I couldn’t help but smile widely as I listened to their prayers. I hugged my cross to my chest with both hands and closed my eyes, hearing every prayer the Sheikh said as the others replied with ‘Ameen’ to everything.
They were praying for God to cure the ill, to watch over the weak, and to bless them with His forgiveness. They prayed for world peace, and for all leaders on earth to rule with kind hands.
They prayed for Mazen’s and my happiness, and I couldn’t contain my smile, hearing as Hana and the female royal guards behind me said their ‘Ameen’ with such a passion that warmed my chest.
It was only when they prayed for us to have a healthy baby that my eyes snapped wide open. My throat went dry when I had remembered something.
I was a day late.
Every morning since the day I became Queen, I’d wished the nights were longer and the time before Mazen had to get up for work was a little bit later than seven AM.
Every. Single. Morning.
I always, always wanted to stay in his arms for five more minutes. Or fifty. I never wanted to let go.
Except for today.
After everyone finished praying, I went back inside the residence and headed straight to our bedroom. My thoughts were all on the fact that I was a day late. It hadn’t happened in forever, and I dared to hope that it was because I’d finally become pregnant.
Mazen arrived right after me, since it was barely five in the morning. After kisses and hugs that I was too distracted to enjoy, he headed to the bathroom to take his shower, telling me that he didn’t feel like going back to sleep.
The idea of going to one of the guest bathrooms and taking the test played in my head, but I was worried that Mazen would catch me. I didn’t want him to think I was still obsessing about a baby, or to raise his hopes unnecessarily, so I dismissed the idea and decided to wait until he left.
It was the longest two hours of my life.
We made small talk. He was still very excited about the rain and went on and on about how it would help with food production and a source of pure water for a while, and all that.
Don’t get me wrong, I loved hearing him talk, loved seeing his excitement, but it took everything not to yell at him right then and there to get out already so I could take the test. I was so impatient. Plus, I really needed to go to the bathroom but was holding it in for the test. I wanted to get a clear result – but a positive one. Oh, God! How I wished for it to be positive.
Eventually, Mazen left for the day. I still have no idea how fast I ran to the drawer where I’d been hiding all different kinds of pregnancy tests.
I grabbed the first one I touched and ran out of the closet like a bat out of Hell, aiming for the bathroom that seemed to be a hundred miles away.
“Why so fast?” my husband called from behind me. “Careful there, princess.”
I stopped dead in my tracks and didn’t turn around. I had the pregnancy test in my hand, and I didn’t want him to see it. So, I replied while facing away from him, with the first thing that came to mind.
“What are you doing here?” I sounded as though I’d found a complete stranger in my room and not my beloved husband.
“I forgot my cell-phone.” I heard him coming closer and I didn’t know what to do other than taking a step forward, then a step to the side when I felt him standing right next to me. “What’s in your hands?”
Uh, oh!
“Nothing!” It came out rushed. “I just really need to use the bathroom.” My voice was really shaky.
He tried to peek around me. “C’mon, princess, what are you hiding?”
“It’s something private.” That was the best I could come up with as I held the box closer to me, trying my best to hide every inch of it.
“Oh! Really?” He sounded so dejected. “Something private that I can’t see? All right. I won’t pu
sh. See you later.”
I instantly felt awful. If that was his way to guilt me, he succeeded. I felt so guilty. But I knew that wasn’t Mazen’s style; I was sure he just didn’t like us to keep secrets from one another.
I turned around to see him walking to the door, and right before his hand touched the knob, I called, “Wait!”
Mazen stopped and turned, all of his excitement from earlier seeming to have left his handsome face. He really wasn’t pleased with the fact that I didn’t want to share something with him, especially after he saw me running.
I held it up for him to see, biting my bottom lip and feeling embarrassed; he now knew I’d been lying to him. “It’s a pregnancy test.”
Mazen took a deep breath, understanding seemed to have dawned on him. I waited for him to scold me, waited for him to blame me for causing myself unnecessary anxiety and worry, but to my surprise, he didn’t.
“Would you like us to do this, together?”
Before I could comprehend what he was saying, I went right off with the answer that I prepared. “I’m not stressing myself out, it’s just that– … wait, what did you just say?” I wasn’t sure if I had heard him correctly.
Mazen smiled sweetly at me. “I asked if you’d like for us to check the test together, princess.”
I gaped at him for a second. “Really? You’re not going to lecture me?” I said, internally slapping my forehead for reminding him that I had broken my promise. But then again, I doubted he’d forgotten about that. He had a memory of steel.
Mazen sighed. “I know that, but you were taking five pregnancy tests a day, princess, even before your period was due. It was getting out of hand.”
My shoulders hunched down. “Yeah, I guess.”
“But you’re a day late. I wish you would wait a few more days before taking the test, but I can’t see any harm in doing it now.”
My eyebrows shot up to my hairline. “You’re keeping track of my periods?”
Mazen took the few steps to close the gap between us. His hands hugged my face and his eyes were smiling as he stared into mine. “I keep track of everything that is you, my princess. You’re my reason for living, remember?”
My eyes welled up with tears at his sweet words, and I stood on the tip of my toes to reach his lips, kissing them tenderly.
“I love you,” I whispered.
“I love you.”
“Let’s do it,” I smiled and walked to the bathroom, feeling him coming after me. “I really love you, but there’s no way I’m going to pee in front of you – stay outside, Your Majesty.” I closed the door while giggling lightly after seeing him pout at being shut out. Even with his sweetness and playfulness, I could tell Mazen was nervous, too.
I took care of business in record time; I seriously couldn’t wait to see the results. And when I came out, Mazen was waiting by the window, gazing outside. He turned to face me and smiled. In response, I raised my hand up to show the stick I was holding, not saying anything, only shrugging.
It was really nice to have Mazen with me while we waited. This was the very first time we’d shared something like this. But I couldn’t deny that my worry doubled. I hated to disappoint him if the results came out negative.
I walked towards him and laid the test on the edge of the window sill. “We can read the results in three minutes,” I told him, but Mazen’s only response was to hold me to his body with his left arm as we both faced the window and waited.
The soft circles that he was rubbing on my shoulder were soothing, but the nervousness settled in my chest and wouldn’t leave. I was worried sick; I almost threw up.
“We can look now,” I said after I checked the stopwatch on my phone.
“Okay,” Mazen said, “but before we do, whatever the result, I’ll love you more tomorrow than I already love you today. My love for you will keep growing until the end of time, princess. You know that, right?”
“I know. Whatever the result is, I’ll be okay, because I have you.”
Mazen smiled, and at the same second, we bent our heads to look at the result.
My heart skipped a beat in that second; nothing in the whole world could have prepared me for what I felt in that moment.
“One line,” I choked out, utter disappointment filling me. “It’s negative.”
“We have to thank God for everything, princess.” Mazen’s words weren’t as heartening as I would’ve wished. He was disappointed too. I could hear it in his voice. Disappointed and sad. But he was trying his hardest not to show it.
“I’m thankful,” my voice cracked, and Mazen surrounded me with his arms, hugging me tightly. All of those times I’d done the same test and gotten the same result, I could handle. But this time, with Mazen here, it hurt even more. It hurt so bad. Because I felt like I let him down; that I couldn’t give him the one thing that we needed the most; the only thing that we couldn’t buy with money; and the only thing that would make us truly happy and complete our world.
He kissed my temple. “We still have each other. We’ll keep trying. Please, don’t be sad.”
“I’m fine. I’m just … I need to get ready or I’ll be late,” I said and tried to back away from his warm embrace.
“Princess …”
“I’m fine, I promise,” I said. After a long moment of silence, Mazen placed a kiss on the top of my head, whispered that he loved me one more time and then let go.
I couldn’t get into the bathroom and lock the door fast enough.
Mazen knew I wouldn’t come out of the bathroom until he left, but he still waited anyway. I used the secret door in the bathroom to go directly to the closet, and called for Hana to come and help me dress. That way, I was sure that even if Mazen was still in the bedroom, I could avoid him.
I preferred to suffer in silence, more than talking about my pain. It was hard, speaking about what was hurting me wasn’t a walk in the park. Not bothering the man I loved with my emo thoughts seemed like a better alternative than hurting him.
Why this time should hurt worse was beyond me. I’d taken a pregnancy test a hundred times before and I’d gotten myself through it just five minutes later. It hurt then, but not as much as it was hurting me now. I simply couldn’t shrug the feeling away.
Maybe it was because for the first time in a long time, I was a day late? Or maybe it was because this was the first time Mazen shared the experience with me, counting the minutes and carrying the heavy seconds right by my side.
I only knew that hours later, and as the day passed, I still could hear the disappointment in Mazen’s voice ringing in my ears as he tried to comfort me. I wished I could just forget.
There was nothing I wanted more than to have a baby with Mazen and not being able to reach that dream was hard. But, the fact that Mazen was hurting along with me was what I hated the most.
All day, Mazen didn’t call or text. He did send flowers, though, with a beautiful note that said: ‘I love you. Unconditionally. Always.’
It sure cheered me up, big time.
I made a mental note to thank him personally later tonight, with kisses and hugs, and maybe some sexy time. That is if I didn’t have my period by then. I wouldn’t be up for something like that if I started my cycle soon. Also, in Islam, it’s forbidden to have sex during that time of the month, anyway.
I huffed as my train of thought led me to missed periods and pregnancy – again. It seemed like I was incapable of getting them off my mind.
At three PM sharp, I was at Archer Enterprises. I had a meeting to attend, and decisions to make. I was trying my best to keep my mind focused on work so I’d be able to get rid of my depressing thoughts; it was working – to a point.
The last thing I expected to see that afternoon was Brad ushering Fawaz to my office. Although Fawaz wore a smile, I couldn’t help the worry that spread in my heart as this was the first time he was ever inside my company’s building.
“Good afternoon, Your Majesty,” he said.
Without a
thought, I quickly got to my feet, not able to think of anything other than something very bad could be happening to bring Fawaz to my office, leaving Mazen alone.
“Fawaz! What’s wrong? Is Mazen okay?” I couldn’t help the worry in my voice.
“Yes, Your Majesty. His Majesty is fine. He asked me to come and get you.”
“What? Why? Is something wrong? Am I in danger?”
“I promise everything is okay, Your Majesty. He has a surprise for you is all,” Fawaz assured me, but I still worried. Whatever he was saying did not have any effect calming me down.
“I have to call him,” I said, reaching for my phone. Fawaz only nodded in response.
“Princess,” Mazen replied after the third ring. This one word was enough to settle my concerns, just a little bit.
“Are you okay?”
I was able to hear the smile in his voice. “I’m fine, I just need you to get here as soon as possible. I can’t wait to show you something.”
“Mazen,” I huffed, “You scared me, sending Fawaz like this. It couldn’t wait?” I was worried about his safety; he shouldn’t have sent Fawaz when any other royal guard would do.
“It could. But I don’t want to wait. Please, hurry up.”
“Okay. You’re crazy, you know that?” I could see Fawaz trying to hide his smile.
Mazen chuckled, “Crazy about you.”
“I’m on my way. I love you.”
The ride in the limousine was awfully slow, but I thought maybe it was because I was so eager to get to our destination and see what my crazy husband had done.
Fawaz was sitting across from me, speaking into his sleeve every few minutes and offering a polite smile every time our eyes met.
“Not to be rude, but couldn’t you guys have told my guards to bring me to wherever we’re going? I just wish you hadn’t left the King alone,” I said to Fawaz.
“I’m afraid not, Your Majesty. We’re going to an area that is controlled by the military, and not all of the royal guards are allowed there. And I promise that His Majesty is perfectly safe; I wouldn’t have left him if he wasn’t.”
“Of course.”
Golden Chains (The Colorblind Trilogy Book 3) Page 9