Was I really directing those words towards Rosanna? What was wrong with me?
It was like my words froze the princess standing in front of me. She stood stock still, the glass still in her outstretched hand. The only change was in her expression – her mouth opened in shock, her eyes bewildered.
My rapid breathing was the only thing audible for a long minute as I looked at my best friend in terror.
It was Rosanna who finally spoke first. Her words seemed to choke her. It was so painful to hear her sound like that; I wished she hadn’t spoken at all.
“It’s papaya juice with oranges, banana, kale, coconut milk, and some peppermint. It’s supposed to soothe the stomach, ease your stress, and calm your nerves. I didn’t want to tell you what’s in it because you’re not too keen on peppermint and you wouldn’t drink it if I said it was in there, but you can’t even taste it in this drink. My mother makes it for me all the time.” She looked wounded, and it hurt my heart to see her like that knowing that I was the cause of her pain.
Another moment passed while we stared into each other’s eyes, and then Rosanna raised the glass to her mouth and drank the juice, not taking a pause until she’d finished all of it, something I’d never seen her do before.
I didn’t know what to say. I felt so low that I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me whole. “Rosanna, I’m— …”
“I’m sorry for overstepping my bounds, Your Majesty. It won’t happen again,” Rosanna said, looking at the floor. I caught the sight of something sparkling over her cheeks.
I made her cry.
The fact that she used my title when we were completely alone pulled at my heart even more. It was terrifying to think that she might be silently hinting that we weren’t best friends anymore.
It hurt me more than I could explain.
“What do you mean, ‘he’s not reachable’?” I asked in frustration, trying my best not to scream like a mad woman.
“His secretary couldn’t put His Majesty on the phone, Your Majesty. He said he’s extremely busy right now,” Manar replied.
“Too busy to even tell his wife that he’s fine?”
“His Majesty told his secretary to inform you that he is well and is going to call you as soon as possible,” she said. “I believe they are handling a very sensitive situation, Your Majesty.”
I groaned in frustration; this day kept getting worse and worse. I was losing my mind.
Although I couldn’t think of any frivolous reason that would prevent Mazen from calling, I hoped with all of my heart that it wasn’t something too serious.
I was worried to the point that I was ready and determined to fly to wherever he was if he didn’t call me in the next two hours – that was how long I could wait before going completely insane.
“All right. I need some rest, no more meetings for the day. Everyone is dismissed,” I said.
“Uh, Your Majesty?” Manar called hesitantly once everyone else was out of the office.
“What is it?”
“There is someone who really needs to meet with you. I wasn’t going to let her in, but the guards already allowed her into their guardroom an–”
“Who is it?” I interrupted.
“Donia. Your Majesty’s former maid.”
“Donia?” I repeated in disbelief. The name sounded like a stranger’s on my tongue. And yet, I had called that name more times than I could count on a daily basis for almost two years.
“Yes, Your Majesty. I wasn’t going to let her in, but she actually looks very miserable.”
I swallowed thickly, the currently ever-present frown on my face, and my heart started racing.
Oh, Donia! What have they done to you? I wondered.
My heart dropped to my stomach as I let my imagination run wild and thought of a Donia with her face bloodied and bruised; my only conclusion behind her being miserable was that she was abused. I prayed with my whole being that it wasn’t so bad, even though her receiving such treatment would be bad enough.
Without a further word, I headed to where Manar said Donia was waiting, my stomach in knots, and my mouth dry as a desert. I really cared for that girl.
Inside the meeting room designated for the men to use, stood Donia. They’d made her wait there because it was the only room that wasn’t connected to the wing. There were two female royal guards inside, standing on either side of her, and two others standing by the door.
Ridiculous!
Donia was waiting for me in the middle of the room, dressed in the formal clothes she wore outdoors, but her face cover had been removed.
My first reaction was to search for traces of abuse on her face, and thankfully – I found none. I still couldn’t sigh in relief as I knew very well that clothes could hide the ugliest of scars and the darkest of secrets.
True to Manar’s words, Donia looked miserable. Her face seemed to have been drained of all of the blood that had drawn the blush all over it in the past, and her now almost non-existing eyelashes spoke to me of the many tears that she’d shed.
It broke my heart.
“Donia, I’m very pleased to see you,” I said. “Are you well?”
“Your Majesty,” she smiled softly – a smile that was as sad as a moonless night. “I’m well as long as you and His Majesty are.” Her voice betrayed her at the end, and she broke in tears.
I rushed to her and took her in my arms, hugging her, and trying my best to soothe her with my touch and comfort her with my words.
“Hey, it’s okay, everything is going to be all right. I’ve got you,” I told her, then I turned to the guards who were standing behind me. “It’s all right now, you’re dismissed.”
“Your Majesty–” one of the royal guards began.
“I’ve got this, please, leave us alone.”
My tone was stern. I needed to have some privacy so Donia would tell me what was troubling her. It seemed serious given her appearance and the fact that she had actually come all the way here after her leader had forbidden it.
“Do you want to sit down?” I asked quietly. She nodded.
I gave her shoulder a reassuring squeeze, then gave her space to take off her cloak.
“Manar, please, have Sameera make some lemonade and ask her to bring it here.”
“Right on it, Your Majesty,” Manar said, then left the room, closing the door behind her.
“Your new maid?” Donia asked with a slight smile.
“Yes,” I said. “She’s a walking disaster,” I added with a chuckle, trying to make her smile wider, which she did. “I’ve really missed you.”
Donia looked sorrowfully at the floor. “I’ve missed you dearly, Your Majesty. I’m very sorry for wh–”
“Shhh, it’s okay. I know it was out of your hands,” I told her. My eyes were still searching her arms and hands for bruises or wounds, then I gasped. “You’re pregnant?”
Donia nodded shyly.
“Congratulations, dear. May God bless this pregnancy and you.”
“Thank you so much, Your Majesty,” she said. “Same to you. I was really happy to know that a prince is on the way.”
I replied to her with a smile of gratitude, then asked, “Is your husband treating you well?”
She nodded. “Yes, he’s a very good man, Your Majesty. You’d like him.”
“I’m sure.” I smiled. Well, that was a relief.
We were interrupted by a knock on the door. It was opened by one of the guards to reveal Sameera, who entered with the lemonade I had asked for.
Without a word, she put it on the table in front of us and left not asking if I needed anything else or not. Even Donia frowned at that. In fact, it seemed like Sameera was in a different place with her thoughts.
“I told you, a walking disaster,” I chuckled. “Please, have some.”
“Thank you, Your Majesty.”
A minute later, I asked, “How have you been, Donia? Really.”
Donia’s eyes sparkled with tears, yet again. I co
uldn’t stand the thought of that sweet girl looking so broken, and I internally swore that I was going to make whoever had hurt her pay.
“I … the new laws. They are not working. Nobody is obeying them. Not at all.”
I swallowed thickly, but wasn’t surprised. I’d already expected the laws could be useless, at the beginning. But – I hoped that at least, it would scare them into doing it less often and that eventually they would end up not doing it at all.
How naive I was. My only excuse was that I didn’t know what else I could do.
“They’re still practicing Common Deflowering?” It was a stupid question; I already knew the answer. But for a second, I hoped that she would prove me wrong.
“Yes, Your Majesty. But there’s more, and it’s much worse,” she said, and I frowned. What could possibly be worse than gang-raping a young woman on her most special night in the name of honor?
“Tell me everything, Donia, I’m listening.”
“There’s another practice that might not be known to you. Female Circumcision,” she said. Her eyes were gazing down, as if she was embarrassed.
“I know a few things about it, Female Circumcision was addressed in the new law,” I said, frowning in confusion. I couldn’t understand why she was telling me this.
“Well, the new law didn’t change anything about that either, Your Majesty.”
The words hit my ears like a brick, so hard that I was dizzy for a second. “What?” I asked, a bit too loudly.
“It’s true. It’s a tradition and still being practiced ... to this day.” Her voice cracked one more time, and tears started streaming down her face yet again. “It’s been the norm for our girls, Your Majesty, they cut us, and the damage is not minor,” Donia’s face turned the deepest shade of red that it could be. “It was practiced on me and every Bedouin girl I know.”
My eyes almost bugged out of my skull. “Oh, dear Donia! I’m very sorry. I still don’t understand why anyone would do that!”
“It’s to … tame the girl’s sexual desires at a young age, by cutting her clitoris before she hits puberty.”
When Rosanna told me about this practice, it was brief; her explanation wasn’t as graphic as Donia’s explanation that could be heard in her cracking voice, if not her hurt-filled words. I had no clue it was this horrible.
“But that’s freaking permanent!”
“It is. Some women might never have an orgasm their whole lives.”
“Dear God!” I said again, grasping at my hair in frustration. “That’s just horrible! I’m going to be sick.” Taking a few deep breaths, I added, “This needs to stop.”
I really had no idea what else to do to stop it, but I knew I had to. I had the power to set rules and command orders, however, it didn’t seem to be enough.
“It does. But new laws won’t solve this, Your Majesty,” she said, as if she was reading my thoughts. “The law Your Majesty created might forbid this practice, but … that didn’t stop the monsters from doing it.” Donia started bawling hysterically.
I got up and sat beside her on the couch, taking her in my arms and patting her back. “What happened, Donia?”
“My cousin, Azza,” she said between sobs.
“What about her?” I asked, my heart already aching.
“They had a circumcision party for her last week, and it went horribly wrong.” Her voice was barely understandable to me through all of her tears and gasps. My heart was sinking as I listened to her, but I still encouraged her to go on. “She bled to death, Your Majesty. They slowly killed her.”
“Oh, my God!” I gasped, then quickly I ran to the nearest trash can and started vomiting. My eyes were bleeding tears and my heart was crying in pain.
Despite her pain, Donia held my hair until I finished and then helped me off the floor, asking if there was anything she could do other than offering me tissues.
Even after I caught my breath, I couldn’t talk, nor did Donia say anything until I finally spoke. “I’m so sorry for your loss, Donia.”
“I’m sorry, too. Azza was like a little sister to me; she was only nine years old. It’s not fair.”
“It’s not.”
“I know there’s no way to bring her back. But I want justice, Your Majesty. I want everyone who was involved to get their punishment.”
“Surely the police are already acting on it, right?” There was no way someone would get away with murder in the Kingdom. Well, as far as I knew ….
“Her father carried her dead body up into the mountains where wild animals live, Your Majesty. He reported her missing, and when the police found her, the animals left very little of her to identify. She was completely eaten. To them, there was no murder.”
I covered my face with both of my hands. They had hidden their crime so easily. What kind of society was that?
“They told the police that she’d gone exploring and never came back, just like they tell the authorities that a girl has run away and they don’t know where she is. But the truth is that she was killed for demeaning her family’s honor one way or another,” Donia said, and when I didn’t respond, she went on.
“I’m very sorry for telling you all of this, but I don’t know anyone else who can help me. They would kill me if they knew what I spoke of, but I need justice for my little cousin, and I know you won’t fail me.”
I took a deep breath and looked into her miserable eyes. “I won’t, Donia. I promise. I will get justice for Azza, and I will protect you, even if it’s the last thing I do.”
It had been only a few hours since things went wrong with Rosanna, and I was already missing her terribly. A strong feeling of longing had been burning in my chest the second I’d left her wing.
I’d done something terrible by distrusting her, but I didn’t know how to fix it. I’d tried to apologize, but nothing I could say would make what I’d done okay. Nothing.
I was lucky she’d placed the empty glass on the coffee table near her and not actually thrown it at me. But even if she had – which was something that she would never do – I would’ve deserved it. Oh, how I deserved it!
With Mazen away, my emotions were all over the place, and the things that Donia had just told me – the need to talk to Rosanna was hitting its peak.
I’d never denied Rosanna’s effect on my life in the Kingdom. I knew very well that without her, things wouldn’t be the same.
She was my safe spot when Mazen was away. She was the shoulder I cried on when I needed to complain about things that I couldn’t tell my husband about. She was my advisor, and sometimes even my guardian angel.
I knew I needed to give her a proper apology, but it was too soon, she needed time. I would give her that; it was the least I could do.
That realization didn’t make it easier. Knowing that I couldn’t simply pick up the phone and tell her to come over, or that I would be going to her, was making my throat close with tears; tears that I kept buried.
I would apologize to her again, and I hoped that by then – it wouldn’t be too late. I prayed that she would forgive me. If not, losing her, losing what we had, would be one of the greatest losses in my whole life.
When I came out of a much-needed warm shower, I found Mazen sitting on the armchair in the corner of the room. He was still dressed in his formal clothes, except he’d taken the ghutra from his head, and placed it on the back of his seat. His eyes were closed, and his arms were crossed over his chest. He looked exhausted.
My heart fluttered at the sight of him, and all I could think of was how grateful I was that he was well. I’d thought that I would tell him off for worrying me, and for spending the day without making even a one-minute call to me. Instead, I felt the need to cry.
I wanted to hug him tightly, hug him until we became one. I wanted to cry my eyes out and complain about the cruel world we were living in. I wanted to tell him all about my day and the horrible things I learned. I wanted to tell him about how my paranoia had made me mess up with my best friend. I w
anted to do more, and do it all together at once.
But instead, I just went to him, moved his hand – which woke him up, I didn’t even know that he was asleep – sat on his lap and rested my head on his shoulder, my wet hair dripping on his thawb.
Mazen fixed my bathrobe to cover up my nakedness, rubbed my stomach sweetly, and surrounded me with his arms, hugging me tightly. He inhaled deeply as if he was taking in my scent, and then sighed.
Home.
“You know?” I started, my voice quiet and soft, “I think this is the first time you haven’t felt me approaching, asleep or not.”
“I’m extremely tired.” Mazen’s voice was just as quiet. “How was your day, princess?”
I internally shook my head. He was extremely tired, yet there he was, asking me about my day, and getting ready to hear me rant, even if it was the last thing he’d think about doing at that moment. But that was Mazen for you, the forever extremely sweet and kindest man I’d ever met. The most loving and caring husband in the whole world.
Well, at least, he was to me.
It was my turn to sigh. “It might be the worst day I’ve ever had in my life as a queen.”
“That bad?” Mazen’s tone was concerned.
“No,” I said. “Worse.”
“Do you want to tell me?” he asked, moving his hand up and down over my arm while I fisted his clothes in my hand, seeking even more closeness.
“Not really, angel. There are just a lot of things that I need to think deeply about. But most importantly, I need to deploy some police officers first thing in the morning.”
“If there’s anything you want me to do, you know I will,” Mazen offered.
“I know. But this is my battle, and I will fight it until my last breath if I have to.”
Mazen’s arms tightened around me, and then he turned his head slightly so he could kiss me. The feeling of his lips close to my mouth was the best cure to the heaviness in my heart.
Comfort.
The weight of the world was on our shoulders, but we both found peace in each other’s arms, even if it was for only a few stolen moments.
Golden Chains (The Colorblind Trilogy Book 3) Page 19