by Frank Morin
Seeing her sitting upright, smiling, alert, and apparently herself again filled Connor with unrivaled joy. For a moment he could not move, could not hope to speak, but tried to fix every particle of that moment into his mind to remember forever.
Then Nicklaus poked him in the back. “Get out of the way Connor. You’re blocking the door. Saskia said she would order some cake for us. Do you see it?”
Connor shifted to the side to let Nicklaus race into the room. The little boy gave a casual wave to Saskia, who stood near the mantel.
Connor followed him farther into the room, but by that time Mattias had already reached Verena. She rose to greet him, but looked a little unsteady on her feet. She extended a hand toward him, but he ignored it and wrapped her in a tender hug.
He leaned down to kiss her, clearly aiming for her lips, his teeth already glowing. She turned her head so that he kissed her cheek instead, and she gave him a warm hug.
The sight of the two of them embracing terrified and enraged Connor all at the same time.
“Verena, you look wonderful,” Mattias said, pulling back enough to hold her at arm’s length.
“I feel remarkably well. I’m a little shaky still, but everything seems to work.”
He embraced her again, and she let him, but then pushed him away and gestured toward a seat to her left side. He instead took the one to her right, pulling it close beside hers.
She then turned toward Connor and gave him that special smile that he still firmly believed belonged only to him, and perhaps to her favorite mechanicals. He crossed the distance to her in a flash and wrapped her in his arms.
She hugged him back, burying her face against his neck, and he breathed in the scent of her, wanting to shout with joy. She smelled clean, but was missing that scent of untamed mountain peaks and high altitudes. He held her for a long moment. He imagined she was hugging him tighter than she had Mattias.
When she pulled back just a little, he leaned down to kiss her. His heart fell when she turned her head again to let him kiss her cheek.
She was acting perfectly fair to the two of them. He hated it. He had secretly hoped she would slap Mattias on the face the first time he tried to touch her, call him a cad, a waste of breath, and a dishonor to his house.
A tiny part of him that was far too reasonable realized that dream might have been a little optimistic, but he still felt disappointed.
“I’m so glad you’re awake. We missed you.”
That sounded lame, but he could not get any more words out. Powerful emotions choked the rest and he didn’t want to say too much with Saskia and Mattias watching. Nicklaus ignored them all, busily consuming a tall cake on a little table nearby.
Verena wobbled and Connor quickly eased her back into her seat. She looked healthy, but clearly had not regained her full strength yet.
He dropped into the open chair next to her, across from Mattias, and held onto her left hand. “If you’re too tired, we can come back later.”
Mattias mirrored Connor’s move, grasping her right hand. “What did the Healer say?”
Before she could answer, Saskia laughed.
“Look at you two silly men.
Worrying like a pair of old hens.
Verena is fine. Just give her some time, and soon she’ll be flying again.”
Verena smiled at her friend. “Thanks to all your care.”
Saskia drew closer and placed a hand on her shoulder, her expression tender. “We would have done ten times as much if needed.”
Mattias said, “She’s right. We love you, Verena. You’re family.”
Connor wanted to kick him between the knees. That was a smooth, crafty way to declare his feelings again and remind her in not so many words that all she had to do was say yes and she would be part of their family.
She glanced at Mattias and smiled warmly, and Connor racked his mind for something to say to pull her attention back to him, but none of his thoughts seemed to work. All he could do was listen in horrified anticipation as she spoke to Mattias.
“I heard you when you came and sat with me every day. I don’t remember all the words, but I remember you did it. You gave me hope in moments of absolute darkness, when I could not find my way. I don’t think it’s possible for you to understand how much that means to me, or how much I appreciate it.”
Mattias grinned, his teeth glowing softly again, and he looked ecstatic. “Of course. I thought I made it clear that I would do anything for you, Verena. I’ll speak with you and encourage you every single day of your life if you let me.”
Connor coughed, hoping to pull her eyes away from his, but she did not even seem to hear. He wanted to punch Mattias in those perfect, glowing teeth, but that would require him to let go of Verena’s hand, and he refused to do that. He may never get another chance. The thought paralyzed him with icy terror.
Verena said, “Mattias, you and Saskia are like my brother and sister. There’s no family I have that I love more.”
Connor’s heart began to beat again. Girls did not marry their brothers, at least not anywhere he’d ever heard about.
Mattias seemed to agree. His teeth stopped glowing and a flicker of doubt clouded his expression. “I don’t think any brother ever loved his sister the way I love you, Verena.”
She patted his hand. “I can’t imagine my life without you as my dear friend.”
He opened his mouth, but no words came out. His eyes flickered to Connor’s, and Connor could not suppress a smile. That made Mattias glare, but then Verena turned to Connor, and he forgot all about Mattias.
He gazed into her eyes, and he forgot about everything else. Verena was his entire world, and her voice seemed to reach the center of his heart without even having to go through his ears.
“Connor, I was lost. That accident broke something in my mind, and I was trapped in there. Like I told Mattias, I could hear a little, but nothing else. I was stuck in a deep, dark well, without any way to escape. You saved me.”
Connor felt horrified. He had thought she was just sleeping, but as he listened to her description of the long struggles in darkness, alone, he had to blink back tears.
“You gave me the tools to free myself. All that healing power made the difference. Somehow, occasionally, I managed to grasp that healing power and use it to repair the broken connections.” She squeezed his hand with her warm one and he read a depth of emotion there that he had feared lost forever.
“It must have been the chert. I felt connections too, but how is it possible you felt the healing power? You’re not a Petralist, are you?”
She shook her head. “I asked for a piece of sandstone when I woke up. I tried to connect with it, but I couldn’t. There’s a whisper of something, maybe, but it’s not an active affinity. I don’t know what it is.”
That was amazing. He’d desperately hoped that his efforts with chert and sandstone were helping, but part of him had feared he was wasting time and wasting that precious resource. What if he had listened to those doubts? Verena might never have awakened. The thought chilled him.
“As I was working to heal myself, I heard everything you said. I heard about your struggles, the terrible trials you had with porphyry, and your vow to fight it to the bitter end. I’m so proud of you Connor. I love you.”
Then she leaned forward and kissed him tenderly on the lips.
Connor felt like he had swallowed the sun and it exploded through his chest. That was the only way to describe the all encompassing feeling of joy and love and relief that swept through him. He kissed her back, and all of his fears melted away.
Verena was awake, she was healed, and she still loved him. He couldn’t imagine anything ever going wrong again.
“So this is your decision?” Mattias asked coldly, rising abruptly and glaring down at Connor.
Connor blinked up at Mattias. He had forgotten that anyone else was in the room. Mattias looked angry, bitter, exactly the way Connor would probably feel if Verena had chosen Mattias ins
tead.
Connor’s hatred of Mattias vanished. He felt like maybe he understood the man, at least a little. As much as he disliked what Mattias had done in trying to steal Verena back, he found he pitied Mattias now.
Verena rose and reached toward Mattias, her expression apologetic. “I never wanted to hurt you again, Mattias.”
He retreated, pulling his hand away. “Is that why you called us in here together, to give Connor the opportunity to gloat?”
Verena frowned and gave him that look that she had so often given to Connor. “You know me better than that, Mattias.”
“Maybe I don’t know you as well as I thought,” he snapped.
Saskia came around the back of Verena’s chair, also looking upset. “Mattias, Verena’s had a long and difficult day. She woke up with an assassin trying to kill her.”
Mattias took a deep breath, clearly fighting to control his emotions. “You’re right. Now is not the time.” He bowed to Verena and said, “I’m glad you’re in good health, but I can see you need some time alone.”
Then he turned and left. He walked a bit stiffly, but did not run to the door, and did not look like he was crying. Connor was not sure he could have maintained his composure so well if Verena had rejected him. She had asked Mattias to be a friend and a brother, which was something, but Connor was not sure he could spend time with Verena and only act like a brother. He loved her too deeply for that.
Saskia sighed and glanced at Connor, but he could not read her. Was she angry? Sad? Surprised?
She said, “I’ll take my leave too. You two have much to discuss.” She gripped Verena’s hands and added, “I know you feel you made a decision here, but it does not have to be final. If you have any second thoughts or doubts, don’t feel like you have to rush.”
Connor started to protest but she held up a hand to silence him. “Like I told my brother, Verena has been through a terrible ordeal. You two both should be willing to give her the time she needs to make sure she knows her heart.”
“Thank you, Saskia. You are a true friend, but I know my heart.” Verena hugged her.
“Perhaps.”
Saskia turned and followed Mattias out of the room, dragging Nicklaus with her.
He took the cake platter with him, waving to Connor on his way out. “Let’s practice that punching move with Mattias later.”
Connor laughed. He would love to, but maybe they could find a different dummy. Mattias had already been beaten enough for one day.
As soon as they were alone, Verena wrapped her arms around Connor again and squeezed him tight enough that he worried one of his ribs might crack. They held each other for a long time, not speaking, just reuniting.
Finally, she spoke softly. “I told you the truth, Connor. I was lost and you saved me.”
He cupped her lovely face in his hands and stared deep into her eyes. “I feel like you saved me too. I don’t think I would’ve survived porphyry without you.”
They sat down together on a couch, holding hands, and Verena sighed. “I’m so glad we get this chance to make things right, Connor. I acted foolishly, and I nearly drove you away.”
Those words were like a balm to his heart, but he shook his head. “I was an even bigger fool. You’re everything to me, Verena, and I let Shona drive another wedge between us. I should have known better.”
She grinned. “Yes, you should have.”
“It’ll never happen again. I saw her in Donleavy. I broke all ties with her. I’m yours and yours alone.”
Verena gave him that special smile, and it lit up her whole face. He could have stared at her for hours. Her expression turned more serious. “Every relationship requires work to stay strong. I promise to work at us every day.”
“Me too,” he promised. He’d never felt so committed to anything or anyone in his life. “So tell me more about what you felt in your mind.”
“It’s hard to explain.” She tried to relate her ordeal, and Connor tried to relate what she went through with his experience in Aifric’s mind.
“After you’re feeling stronger, maybe we can explore your memories with chert and see if that gives us any new insights,” he suggested.
“That’s a good idea. I need to get a piece to study anyway.”
He grinned. Of course Verena would want to leap back into her research. “Everyone will be happy to see you get back to work.”
“I miss my workroom so much,” she admitted. “But first, I want you to tell me everything you’ve been involved in. I want to make sure I didn’t miss any of it.”
So he did. They talked for hours. He barely noticed as the afternoon faded into evening. He would probably have stayed there and talked all night, but her stomach rumbled loudly.
“I’ll go find someone to bring you some dinner,” he offered immediately.
“Have them bring dinner for six.”
“Are you really that hungry?” He’d never known Verena to eat that much, but she had been sleeping for several weeks.
She laughed softly. “No. My family is supposed to be arriving tonight. Saskia said they would get here at around dusk. That should be any minute. I can’t wait to introduce you to them.”
Connor felt the familiar sense of uneasiness at the mention of her family, but he squashed it. He and Verena were reunited. Nothing could get in the way of that. He decided he would choose to accept and love her family. Until they did something to make him choose differently.
He rose and kissed her one more time, then hurried from the room to find a servant to summon dinner. As he closed the door behind him, a soft footfall sounded nearby, drawing his attention.
Mattias stepped out of the shadows nearby, his expression determined.
66
Some Dreams Really Can Come True
“Have you been waiting out here all this time?” Connor asked, although from Mattias’s haggard look, the answer was obvious.
“Is she asking for me?” Mattias asked, not able to hide the desperation in his eyes.
“I’m sorry, but she’s just asked me to set up a dinner for six.”
“Six?”
“Her family’s arriving.”
Connor didn’t think that was information he should keep secret, but Mattias’s eyes suddenly glowed. Literally. He stood taller, his shoulders squared out of their previous slump, and a new hope infused his voice.
Definitely shouldn’t have told him.
“We need to talk,” Mattias said, gesturing down the hallway.
Connor hesitated, but Mattias impatiently gestured him to follow again. Wary, but curious, Connor decided to see what he wanted.
As they walked away from Verena, Mattias said, “Don’t worry about the dinner. We’ll find a servant for that.”
“You mean I will. Verena’s hungry and I want to make sure it gets done right.”
“You don’t think I could handle such a simple thing?” Mattias asked, and his veneer of calm slipped for a second, revealing his seething anger. If he attacked, he’d hold the advantage. Connor didn’t have an active primary affinity stone, and his tertiaries were still acting erratic.
So he shrugged and said, “We’ve traveled together, remember? I’ve seen you try to cook.”
“And you left us behind to fly home in a drafty old windrider,” Mattias griped.
“Cold air is good for the complexion.”
As they descended to the next lower level, Connor slipped a hand into his belt pouch and absorbed a little granite, just to be safe. He still felt pity for Mattias, didn’t want to fight him, but sensed Mattias wasn’t yet ready to surrender to Verena’s will. He was trying to act calm, but Connor sensed his fury.
Connor spied a serving girl in the next hallway and gave her Verena’s request. She seemed to be expecting it and hurried off.
They reached a large window, shuttered against the cold. Through a crack in the slats, Connor saw the window looked out over a courtyard two stories below, with a low, slanted roof directly below them. It
felt like the perfect place to get to the bottom of what Mattias wanted.
So he stopped and asked, “What do you want to talk about?”
Mattias turned to face him and asked hopefully, “Did Verena say she wanted me to join her?”
Connor felt sorry for Mattias, but coddling him wouldn’t help, so he shook his head and said simply, “No.”
“Did she—”
He looked so beaten down, Connor had to say, “Look, Mattias, I think I understand a little how you feel—”
“Can you?” Mattias snapped.
“Sure. I’ve worried right along with you that she might die, that we’d lose her. Even thinking it was devastating.”
“Well, I’ve lost her. To you. That’s worse.” Anger was creeping into his voice.
“Worse than her dying?” Connor demanded, incredulous.
“In some ways,” Mattias admitted dejectedly. “If she had died, I could fool myself into thinking she still loved me.”
He actually had a point. That was annoying. “She still cares for you. She said so.”
“As a brother.” He filled the word with abundant disgust.
“I don’t recommend pulling her hair. Have you seen how fast she is with those throwing knives?”
“Not funny,” Mattias snapped.
“At least I’m trying. I didn’t have to follow you down here. We agreed to let her decide. She decided. I’m not about to try to convince her to change her mind.”
“I know what I agreed to. I don’t need you to remind me.”
“So, why are we here?”
Mattias had probably waited with the hopes of seeing Verena. Connor was impressed he seemed to be trying to handle Verena’s decision like a man. After the underhanded way he had tried to lure Verena back, that was a refreshing change.
So Connor made a supreme effort and said, “I never wanted to be rivals. You’re a true friend to Verena and you helped me when some guys might not have. Thank you for not making things hard on her.”
Mattias nodded acceptance of the praise and said loftily, “I would never do anything to harm her. I gave my word of honor not to interfere . . .” His words trailed off and his expression changed to anger again.