Diedrich’s heart went out to her. Remembering his trepidation during an especially rough storm at sea, he understood some of her fear. He reached across the table and gripped her hand, warm and small, trembling in his. The urge to round the table and take her into his arms and hold her close to him became almost suffocating.
“You are safe.” The words seemed simplistic and woefully inadequate, but they were all he could think to say. Yet despite how feckless they sounded, those three words appeared sufficient. For as the sound subsided, rolling off into the distance, a measure of fear left her eyes.
“Danke.” Drawing her hand from his, she glanced down, a self-conscious smile quivering on her lips.
For several minutes, they ate in silence. When a bright flash of lightning that Diedrich knew would precede another clap of thunder lit the kitchen, he tried to think of something that would distract her from the coming noise. An idea struck, and he hurried to wash down his bite of venison and bread with a gulp of milk. “How do you say Blitz in English?”
“Lightning,” she said around a bite of bread.
“Lightning,” he repeated, and she nodded.
Thunder rumbled, and she appeared to stiffen. She gripped her mug of milk so hard her fingers turned as white as its contents.
Diedrich covered her hand with his to draw her attention back to him. “Donner . How do you say Donner?” If he could keep her distracted, maybe she would forget to be frightened.
“Thunder.” Her voice trembled slightly, mimicking the sound outside as it dissipated and rolled away.
“Thun–er.” Diedrich dragged out the enunciation, intentionally leaving out the d to keep her focused on teaching him the word.
She smiled and giggled, a bright, almost musical sound. His heart bucked like Father’s prize bull the time Frederic was fool enough to climb on the animal’s back. “Nein.” She shook her head. “Thun–der.”
“Thunder,” he managed to whisper, his racing heart robbing him of breath.
The wind howled and assailed the kitchen window with a blast of rain.
Regina glanced at the window. “Rain,” she said. “Regen is rain.”
“Rain,” he repeated, glad to see that the fear had left her blue eyes.
For the next several minutes they ate while taking turns coming up with words for her to translate into English. Lightning flashed and thunder rumbled, but as they finished their food, she no longer seemed affected by the noise. Now fully engaged in the game, she appeared completely relaxed.
“Scheune.” Her voice held a challenge as she leaned back in her chair and crossed her arms over her chest.
A desire to show off sparked in Diedrich. This was one of the few English words he had learned from Herr Seitz. Answering her smug look with one of his own, he locked his gaze with hers and said, “Barn. Scheune in English is barn.”
“Ja!” The word burst from her mouth on a note of glee loud enough to rival the storm’s noise. Immediately, she clasped her hand over her mouth and cast a wide-eyed glance toward the doorway that led to the inner part of the house as if afraid she had woken their parents. When several seconds passed and no one appeared, a nervous-sounding little giggle erupted from behind her fingers. Rising, she gave him a self-conscious grin and gathered up their plates and mugs. “I think we should go back to our beds now before we wake our Eltern,” she whispered.
Diedrich watched her move about the kitchen and his heart throbbed. I cannot lose my heart to this girl. I cannot! But his errant heart pranced on, scorning his censure. If only he knew she was safe, then maybe when autumn came he could leave for California with an unshackled heart. But that could not happen as long as Regina continued to court that brutish fellow, Eli. The concerns that had kept Diedrich awake rose up in his chest, demanding release. Somehow he must find the words to dissuade her from considering the scoundrel for a husband. Dear Lord, give me the words that would convince her to turn away from Eli Tanner .
When she had returned the meat and bread to the pantry cabinet and closed the doors, Diedrich walked to her and took her hand in his. He chose his words with care, as if he were picking fruit for a queen.
“Regina.” He gazed into her eyes, which sparkled like blue stars in the lamplight. At her expression of questioning trust, he nearly lost his nerve. His arms ached to hold her, but that wouldn’t do. Instead, he caressed the back of her hand with his thumb and swallowed to moisten his drying throat. “Regina,” he began again. “I do not know how well you know this fellow, Eli. But I do not think he is a good man. It is my opinion that you would be wise to consider—”
“I did not ask for your opinion.” She yanked her hand from his grasp. “You know nothing of Eli or of me.” Her expression turned as stormy as the weather outside. “Just because your Vater and mine made a deal does not give you the right to tell me what I should do!”
Chapter 9
R egina stood in front of the dresser mirror and slipped another pin into the braid that crowned her head. A bright ray of morning sun dappled by the new leaves of the cottonwood tree outside her window speckled her hair with its light. Though vanity was a sin, she always liked to look her best for church. She fingered the snowy tatting that edged the collar of her blue frock. For reasons she couldn’t explain, she wanted to look especially nice today. Inspecting her reflection, she smoothed down all hints of wrinkles in her freshly washed and ironed Sunday frock. She couldn’t help thinking of Diedrich’s comment last Sunday when he helped her onto the family’s wagon for the trip to church. “With your golden hair and blue frock, you remind me of a summer sky.”
Diedrich. There he was again. Always loitering on the fringes of her mind. More and more, she found herself thinking of him. Since the storm two nights ago, they hadn’t spoken again at length. At the realization, regret smote her heart. Many times she had wanted to apologize for lashing out at him, but somehow she had not found the right moment. He had obviously gotten the wrong impression of Eli when he saw them arguing in the barn and was just trying to protect her. But his words of caution, however carefully delivered, had touched the one nerve in Regina that everyone, including Eli, had lately rubbed raw. With the exception of her eldest sister, Sophie, who had always delighted in bossing her around, Regina had been allowed the freedom to make most of her own decisions in life. Now, suddenly, everyone seemed determined to wrest that control away from her. Papa, Mama, Herr Rothhaus, and even Eli, with his demands that she spend time alone with him at the coming barn raising, all wanted to tell her what to do. She had appreciated the fact that Diedrich had not treated her in a dictatorial manner but had shown her the respect due a friend and equal. So when he voiced his opinion of Eli, it was, as Mama often said, “the drop that makes the barrel overflow.”
As she remembered how she had angrily stalked away from him after he had tried so hard to quell her fear during the storm, guilt gnawed at her conscience. Her mouth turned down in a frown. Ironically, their secret pact to not get married had formed a bond between them that never could have occurred had they agreed to their parents’ bargain. And now she feared she had broken that bond. She missed the easy friendliness she and Diedrich had enjoyed before she’d allowed her temper to shatter it. Oddly, her arguments with Eli had never bothered her as much as this one rift with Diedrich, possibly because she felt at fault. Though she instinctively sensed that Diedrich was not one to hold a grudge, she knew she would not be easy again until she had made amends with him. Still, she dreaded the encounter, which was sure to be awkward.
So despite the sunny day, her mood remained clouded. She usually looked forward to attending Sunday morning church service and enjoyed Pastor Sauer’s sermons. But this morning she had to force her feet toward the stairs. Even anticipation of seeing friends like Anna Rieckers and Louisa Stuckwisch had not spurred her to dress more quickly. But Mama had already called up twice, warning Regina she’d be left behind if she didn’t come down soon, so she could delay no longer.
When she r
eached the bottom step, her heart catapulted to her throat and she froze. Dressed in his best with hat in hand, Diedrich stood near the back door. She hadn’t expected him to be waiting for her. Before she could say anything, he spoke.
“Guten Morgen , Regina.” Though his lips remained unsmiling, his gentle gray gaze held no speck of grudge. If anything, his expression suggested apology. “The others have all gone out to the wagon, but I hoped we might speak alone.”
“Guten Morgen, Diedrich.” Her throat went dry, making her words come out in a squeak. If she was going to make amends, now was the time. She opened her mouth.
“Diedrich.”
“Regina.”
They spoke in near unison, and he smiled, dimpling the corner of his well-shaped mouth. “Bitte , you speak.”
Shame drove her gaze from his face to the floor. “Verzeihst du mir. I should not have acted so rudely the other night.”
“Nein.” Wonder edged his voice, and he took her hands in his. “It is I who should ask your forgiveness.” His thumbs caressed the backs of her hands as they had done during the storm, sending the same warm tingles up her arms. “You were right. It is not my place to say whom you should choose for friends.” He grinned. “I only hope you still count me among them.”
Regina wanted to laugh with glee. She wanted to jump up and down and clap her hands like when she was small and Papa bought her a candy stick at the Dudleytown mercantile. She couldn’t say why, but knowing the friendship that had sprung up between her and Diedrich was still intact made her happy. But instead of embarrassing herself with childish antics, she smiled demurely and murmured, “Of course you are my friend.” Turning her face to hide her smile, she focused on reaching for her bonnet on a peg by the back door.
He blew out a long breath as if he had been holding it. “Ich bin froh.”
Glad. Yes, glad fit how Regina felt, too. She basked in his smile as he escorted her to the wagon where her parents and Herr Rothhaus sat waiting.
And the gladness stayed with her throughout the church service. From time to time, she found her gaze straying to the men’s side of the church. With his Bible—one of the few things he’d brought from Venne—open on his lap, Diedrich sat beside his father, his rapt attention directed toward the front of the church and Pastor Sauer. His straight brown hair lay at an angle across his broad forehead and his clean-shaven jaw in profile looked strong, as if chiseled from stone. Regina wondered why she had never noticed how very handsome he was.
An odd ache burrowed deep into her chest. Perhaps it would not have been the worst thing in the world if Papa and Herr Rothhaus had gotten their way and she had ended up with Diedrich for a husband.
“‘And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.’” Pastor Sauer’s compelling voice drew Regina’s attention back up to him. He paused and stroked the considerable length of his salt-and-pepper beard as if allowing time for the scripture to soak into his congregants’ brains. The subject of his sermon had been directed particularly toward married couples. But the words of the scripture drew in Regina’s mind a stark contrast between how Diedrich and Eli treated her.
She glanced over at Diedrich again, and the ache in her chest deepened. It didn’t matter how sweet, caring, or handsome Diedrich was. Eli was handsome, too. And he wanted to marry her. Diedrich wanted to hunt for gold in California.
Diedrich pumped the pastor’s hand. “It was a fine sermon, Pastor Sauer.”
Pastor Sauer gave a little chuckle and clapped him on the shoulder. “Danke, Sohn.” Then, leaning in, he added, “And one you should remember, maybe, hey?” With a twinkle in his eye, he shot a glance across the churchyard to where Regina stood talking and giggling with two other young women. “Herr Seitz tells me you and Fräulein Seitz have decided to wait until after the harvest to wed.” He nodded his head in approval. “That is gut. Learn your bride’s heart before you wed. It will make for a more harmonious home.”
Diedrich quirked a weak smile that his mouth refused to support for more than a second. He felt like a liar and a fraud. But he couldn’t share his true plans with Pastor Sauer any more than he could share them with Father or Herr and Frau Seitz.
Giving the pastor’s hand a final shake, he headed for the patch of shade where the Seitz wagon stood. “Learn your bride’s heart.” The pastor’s words echoed in his ears.
It almost made him wish Regina was his bride-to-be, as everyone thought. For every day, he learned something new and wonderful about her. This morning he had learned she had a sweet heart, full of forgiveness. And if not for the beckoning goldfields of California, a life here with Regina on this fertile land would be more than enticing.
It had troubled him that yesterday she seemed to make a concerted effort to keep her distance from him, finding reasons to stay near her mother. He had surmised she was still angry with him over his comment about Eli, and didn’t blame her. Of course she would have viewed his words as meddling in her personal business, and rightly so. But what had troubled him more was the look on her face this morning when she came downstairs. For one awful moment, he had seen something akin to fear flicker in her eyes. Had she stayed away from him because she thought that, like Eli, he might respond to her earlier righteous indignation with anger? The thought both sickened and angered him. He hardened his resolve to do everything in his power over the summer to open her eyes to the dangers the Tanner boy presented.
At the wagon, he turned and looked back in her direction, and his heart quickened. A wide smile graced her lovely face as she carried on an animated conversation with her friends. The morning sun turned the braids that circled her head to ropes of gold, while her calico bonnet dangled negligently from her wrist, brushing her sky-blue skirt with her every gesture. She laughed, a bright, musical sound that always reminded him of a brook tripping over stones.
“Diedrich. I was looking for you.” Herr Seitz put his hand on Diedrich’s shoulder, jerking him from his musings. “I hope you are not so much in a hurry for dinner.” He glanced over his shoulder at Father, who was sauntering toward them with Frau Seitz on one arm and Regina on the other. “Your Vater and I have agreed it is a nice morning for a drive.”
As was their usual custom on Sundays, they had forgone breakfast this morning, opting instead for a larger meal after church. And though Diedrich’s stomach gnawed with emptiness, his curiosity was piqued. “Ja, it is a gut day for a drive. I can wait to eat.” Since their arrival nearly a month ago, Diedrich had rarely left the Seitz farm. And though his stomach might protest, he was eager to see more of the countryside.
Herr Seitz turned to his wife. “Come, Mutti. We are going to take a drive.” He helped Frau Seitz to the front seat of the wagon, while Diedrich helped Regina up to the seat behind it. Diedrich and his father would sit in the last of the three seats in the spring wagon.
Frau Seitz huffed. “I know it is a nice day, but could we not take our drive after dinner? Regina and I have Kaninchen to fry and Brötchen to bake.”
“The rabbit and the rolls will wait.” Herr Seitz shook his head as he settled beside his wife and unwound the reins from the brake handle. “This drive is wichtig.”
Regina gave a little laugh as she adjusted her skirts. “You are acting very peculiar, Papa. I do not see what could be important about a Sunday drive around Sauers. But if we must go, could we take the road past Tanners’ mill? It has fewer ruts than some of the other roads.” Though her voice sounded nonchalant, Diedrich detected a note of stiffness about it. From his experience, her opinion of the road’s surface was correct. But he doubted it was the true reason she wanted to go in that direction. Instead, he suspected she hoped to glimpse her sweetheart as they passed the mill. At that thought, he experienced a painful prick near his heart.
Herr Seitz shook his head. “We will not be going past the mill, Tochter. What I want to show you is at the west boundary of our land.”
Her hopeful expressi
on dissolved into a glum look that saddened Diedrich. Why could she not see that Tanner did not truly care for her—that no man who loved her would treat her so roughly.
When Diedrich had settled beside his father in the seat behind Regina, Herr Seitz looked over his shoulder as if to assure himself everyone was settled. Focusing his gaze on Diedrich, he grinned. “Diedrich, you should sit with Regina. I do not think your Vater will mind to have a seat to himself.” Did the man have a twinkle in his eye? Herr Seitz turned back around before Diedrich could be sure.
“Ja, Diedrich. You should sit with your intended for this ride.” Father gave Diedrich’s arm a nudge.
Rising obediently, Diedrich made his way up to the seat Regina occupied. “Of course. It would be my pleasure.” And though his words could not have been truer, he was not at all sure Regina felt the same. But to his surprise, she offered him a bright smile when he sat down beside her. And as they bounced over a rutted road that was little more than a cow path, they fell into easy conversation. Regina gleefully pointed out to him the homes of her friends, adding interesting tidbits about the families and their farms.
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