by T M Kelly
“And you just let your other manager go when you moved?”
“Pretty much.”
“I see.” He sat there silently for several long moments. “Well, I can be a stand-in for your manager when you go to the meeting. It’s not something I normally do. Running the gym with two younger brothers keeps my plate full.”
“Oh, you don’t have to do that.” I knew I was backtracking. “I can let them know at the meeting I’m currently looking for a new manager.”
He stood up—all six-feet five inches of him. Up close he was enormous. He had definitely bulked up since going into retirement. I loved that he still had a shaved head. There was something about bald men. He had on a white T-shirt with the Fight It Out logo on the front. When he crossed his arms over his chest, the logo pushed forward and immediately distracted me.
“Listen, we need to do paperwork, and I need to get to know you both a little more before making any commitments.” I tried to say something, but he held his hand up. “That being said, we don’t turn potential AFC fighters away. I want to help in any way I can.”
“Oh, okay.” I felt a little lost for words at the moment. Did he just say he would help me? He didn’t know who I was. Well, he recognized me, kind of. “I don’t understand.”
He smiled, and my insides just stopped working, like melted away.
“You’re a part of the fighting community. We treat everyone like family.”
“Always?” Charlie asked.
“Well, unless you lie,” he said, shrugging his shoulders. “Are you lying to me, Lily?”
“What? No.”
Unless he counted using a different last name as lying. Then yes, I was. I had to keep my true identity a secret. No one could know I was the daughter of the late, great Johnny “The Punisher” Adams. At least that’s what my dad told me when we changed my name several years ago.
6
“What’s that?” Charlie pointed to the bright orange shoebox by my feet.
I lifted the lid and pulled out a stack of photos. “My family. Dad pulled them out and was walking down memory lane before he died.”
She plopped down beside me. “That’s your mom. She was so beautiful.” She pointed to an image at the top of the pile in the box.
I picked it up and brushed my finger lightly down the glossy surface. “Yeah, she was.”
My dad shared with me that night in his basement several weeks ago, that he and Mom met at the gym he practiced at. This was before he even became The Punisher. Mom was a workout junkie but never took the plunge to be a competitive fighter. I think she would have been amazing; Dad agreed with me.
It was hard to believe Dad had already been gone for several months now. It felt like only days. I knew my parents were back together where they belonged, but after leaving Fight It Out, I had this urge to tell him all about my encounter with Julian Moore.
I lifted my head and glanced at Charlie. “Do you think we can believe Julian?”
“What do you mean?” she said, reaching for another picture.
“I don’t know. He just seemed too eager to want to help me,” I said, snatching the picture out of her hand. “Yet, he doesn’t know me.” The picture in my hand had a little girl, maybe five years old, in cotton shorts, a tank top, and her hands were taped up. “Oh wow, that’s me.”
“Let me see it again.” She reached over and grabbed the photo. “You were so damn cute back then. What happened to you?”
“What happened to me?” I scoffed and stood up to head into the kitchen “I got cuter.”
There was a small giggle from behind me. “So you say.”
“Whatever.” I turned and rolled my eyes. “Do you believe Julian?”
“You want me to be honest?”
“Of course.”
She opened the refrigerator and pulled out a can of sparkling water. “I agree with you. He did seem a little too eager to want to help.”
I reached down and snuck a sparkling water before she closed the door. “Yeah, exactly.” I popped the tab on the can and took two big gulps. “This got me thinking.”
“Something that always worries me.”
“Shut up.” I rolled my eyes and tried not to laugh. “Well, when I was looking through the old photos Dad had at the house, I found a gym he used to workout at; one I had never heard of either.”
“Are they still in business?”
“I’m not sure.” I walked over and sat down in a chair at the table. “I feel sleazy trying to find something wrong with Fight It Out or with Julian.”
“Then don’t.”
I scowled, feeling confused. “What do you mean?”
“Maybe it’s better to leave the past in the past.”
Charlie’s words caught me off guard. I sat there for a moment absorbing what she’d said. Maybe she was right. What if the information I found made my father look bad? Something I definitely wanted to avoid.
“I just hope if he finds out who I really am, he doesn’t kick us both out of the gym.” Turning the can around in my hand, I said, “Plus, my dad could be the asshole in this whole mystery.”
“Well,” she said, patting my thigh, “let’s hope neither one of them is the asshole.”
“Yeah,” I said while letting out a deep sigh. “The past can be an awful reminder.” I stood up and bent to kiss her cheek. “I need to find a place to store all those old photos.”
“Lily.”
I stopped in the doorway. “Yeah?”
“They both are good people. Everything will be okay.”
“I hope you’re right, C,” I said as I turned and left the room.
All I could think about was how Julian hated liars. Oh, and what if my dad had a dark past.
Better yet, I knew I was not being honest with who I really was.
Trying to be Lily Waters could be my downfall in the end.
One month later…
“Turn your body toward me,” Devon, one of my trainers, said as he worked to complete the flying scissor heel hook on me. I shifted my butt and inched over slightly. “I said your whole body, Lily.”
“I know.” I huffed. “I’m trying to move but you do have a good hold on my leg right now.”
“You need to figure this out soon. We have been working on this move for three days, and you haven’t figured out how to release yourself.”
Right when I was about to show my Irish roots and tell him where he could release himself, that deep voice that caused my insides to squirm sounded from behind me. “Devon, take a break.”
I sat up and turned to face Julian. “What if I had something I needed to share with Devon?”
“Oh, I’m guessing you have a lot you would like to share. Which is why I’m here.”
“What does that mean?”
He sat down in front of me. “Lily, you’ve been here for what, one month?”
“Uh, yeah, I guess.” I scowled. “What does this have to do with freeing myself from the hold?”
“You seem to have a block. Are you okay?”
I stood up. “Okay? When did you become my counselor?”
He stood and walked closer to me. “I’m not, but I am the owner of the place, so I do have a say in some things.”
I crossed my arms over my chest. “Suggestions?”
“Yeah, lie down on the mat.”
“Excuse me.”
“Lily, just get down and let’s look at how you position yourself.”
One part of me wanted to call it a day; the other part of me wanted to feel Julian Moore’s body on my own. I looked over and saw Charlie leaning against the front counter. Our eyes connected, and I knew she was telling me to lie down, bitch. We had a loving relationship.
“Fine,” I said, falling to the floor and rolling onto my back.
He positioned his body next to mine and wrapped his legs around one of my legs. “I know we start in standing position, but you have that part perfect.”
I inhaled deeply, catching the scent of fres
h pine and lemon. I laid my head on the mat and avoided eye contact with him.
“Lily, if I have you in a hold like this,” he said, touching my leg, “you should be able to lift your butt up and twist before I attempt to hook your heel.” He placed his hand on my butt in a motion to help me lift. “I won’t move. See if you can twist out of this hold.”
What was wrong with me? The man probably had a girlfriend or maybe even a wife. Shit.
I let out a deep sigh and attempted to lift up. Julian didn’t fight against me; instead, he wanted to let me see how the twist would feel without any resistance. As I moved toward his body, it was like an electrical pull bringing us closer together. I managed to get on my side and lift my body up with my one arm. Our faces were only inches from each other.
“Like…this?” I struggled to get the words out. Being this close to Julian was causing my words to get stuck in my throat. “Um…”
There was a hint of a smile on his face. “Yeah, like that.” He cleared his throat. “Want to try it from the beginning?”
There was a light squeeze on my behind, and I realized he still was holding me. I glanced down and looked back up. “You need to let go so I can stand up.”
“What? Oh, sorry.”
We both stood up, and I felt awkward at the moment. It was weird; I knew he wasn’t interested in me. Two days ago, I’d heard Julian and Brooks bickering in the office. Julian had said my name about ten times in a row. Each time my name fell from his lips, it was followed by “fuck” or “no, not going to happen.” I wasn’t sure what it all meant. So why did the room feel like a hundred and ten degrees at the moment?
As I stood up, Julian attempted to help me by holding out his hand. That felt awkward. Usually I would do a flip in place to get me to standing position quickly. “I’m good, thanks.”
“Sorry, I don’t know what came over me,” he said, bringing his hand closer to his body.
We attempted to follow through on each step for the position, but something felt off. “Listen, I think I get it. I’ll practice with Charlie later.” I walked over to the corner of the mat where my towel and water bottle were sitting. “That makes sense on the twist. I just wasn’t seeing the full picture before.” I rubbed my face in the towel and lifted my head. He appeared about six inches from my face. “Jesus.” I placed a hand on my chest and stepped back.
His eyes raked up and down my body. “You sure you don’t want to run over the move a few more times?”
“Yeah, I need to go.” As I stepped around him, he encircled his hand on my bicep. “Lily.”
I looked down at his hand. “Yeah?”
“I’m going to take over for Devon if that’s okay?”
I leaned back on the balls of my feet. “Why?”
“I’m worried you both are not connecting, which is putting pressure on your training.”
“Oh, okay. But why you?”
“I can get someone else if you want?”
“No, it’s okay. I thought you said you didn’t train fighters anymore?”
“Technically I don’t.”
“But.”
“I decided to make an exception.”
I scowled, trying to understand what was happening. “Any particular reason?”
He let out a small laugh. “No.”
I tapped him on the hand so he would let go of my arm. “Okay, well, when you think of one let me know.” I winked and reached for my water bottle. “I need to get home.”
“Lily.”
I was about halfway to the locker room and avoided turning in his direction. “Yeah?”
“I do have a reason.”
Turning to face him, I unscrewed the top on my water bottle and took a big gulp. “But you don’t want to share?”
“Not today.”
“Okay.”
What was he hiding?
7
“What was that all about?” Charlie said, sitting down next to me in the locker room on a bench.
“What?” I tried to feign innocence.
“Don’t you what me, lady.” She swatted at my arm.
I tried to stay serious but instead burst out laughing. “C, I think Julian just hit on me. That’s impossible, right?”
“Nope. He totally has a thing for you.”
I stood up and placed my hands on my hips. “How the hell do you know that?”
“People talk in this place. No one knows how to keep their damn mouth shut.”
What did she just say? Holy fuck. “But he can’t.”
“Why?”
“Well, for one, he’s like fifteen years older than me.”
“He’s only ten years older, silly.”
I was struggling to absorb this information. “Okay, so maybe that’s better. But still, he’s Julian fucking Moore. Why would he even think twice about me?”
“Because you are the best thing in the whole world.”
“Charlie Bear, what are you not telling me?”
She threw her hands up. “I swear, I don’t know. Brooks walked over to the front desk and said ‘Julian is going to help Lily.’ I tried to ask, but he wouldn’t offer any more than that.”
“Okay, fine. Listen, I need to get home.” I bent down and kissed her cheek. “I’ll see you later?”
“Yeah, I need a few more hours here, and then I’ll be done.”
“Take all the time you need.”
I grabbed my bag and started making my way to the front door. I stopped about a foot from the entrance and then turned to head over to Julian’s office. A part of me was screaming, Don’t do it, Lily. While the other part was excited to be in a room alone with him.
My hand was on the handle. “I’m not in there,” Julian’s deep voice rang from behind me.
I spun around so fast. “Oh, sorry.”
He reached around me and turned the handle. “Need to talk about something?”
“Uh, yeah.” I stepped to the side so he could open the door. We were both silent as we moved about a foot into his office. I heard the door click behind me and felt my insides scream.
“What’s up?” he said, setting a bag on the desk as he leaned on the wood surface.
I tapped my foot, prepared to bolt at any moment. As he crossed his arms over his chest, I had to cross my legs and squeeze. My body was feeling needy at the moment. “Well”—I cleared my throat—“I was wondering…” He stepped into my personal space and reached his hand around my body. There was a sliding noise, and I realized he was closing his shades on the office windows. Finally, I blurted out, “Why are you training me?”
“You really don’t know?” he breathed out.
My heart rate increased, and I was finding it difficult to breathe. “Don’t know?”
He took another step closer. “Lily.”
Something came over me, and I needed to exit the room immediately. I ducked around him and reached for the handle. “I forgot I have a hair appointment in five minutes.” I threw the door back and practically ran to the front entrance. A little voice inside me said to look back, but I ignored the words.
When I was about a quarter of a mile away from the gym, I leaned against a building and took several deep breaths. I wasn’t sure how to process what had just happened. Then as my body calmed, I wanted to scream. Why did I run?
I knew something had happened between Julian and my dad.
Becoming emotionally involved when I still didn’t know if he was safe felt wrong.
“Lily,” I heard a voice yell from behind me. “Wait up.”
Charlie. I turned to face my best friend. “I’m fine. I just need to get home.”
“Lils, you were always a horrible liar.”
I let out a huff and leaned back against the brick wall. “I’m an idiot.”
“Why, because Julian tried to make a move and you ran?” I placed my hands over my face and softly moaned. She brought my hands down. “I can’t understand you, sweets.”
Standing up straight, I took in a deep brea
th and let it out slowly. Right as I was about to repeat my mumbled words, I noticed the man in question walking toward us. “Fuck.”
“What? Are you in pain?”
“He’s walking this way.”
She spun on her heel and struggled with holding in a laugh. “Oh, my God.”
When I was in high school, I’d had a crush on a senior. I was a sophomore, so the odds that we would ever connect were next to none. Still, the thought of dating an older man had its appeal. Plus, the guy would smile and make my insides melt on the spot. The jerk never did give me the time of day. That crush sparked something in me, though. I found I had a thing for older men. Something I only wrote in my diary and told no one. So of course, the thought of dating Julian piqued my interest. Well, I mean, the guy was also easy on the eyes.
I threw my head back against the wall and prayed this day could end soon.
“Charlie,” Julian said, stopping only inches from me.
“Hey, Julian.” She leaned up and kissed my cheek. “I forgot, Brooks was going to show me a move today.”
“I’m sensing a pattern here.”
I lifted my head up. “What pattern?”
“Being forgetful.”
I rolled my eyes. “Sorry we’re not perfect.”
“Who said you needed to be perfect?”
I pushed off the wall and stood directly in front of him. “What’s up?”
“You left quickly. Then a few seconds later, I saw Charlie run out.” He shrugged his shoulders. “I wanted to make sure you both were okay. I was worried you missed your hair appointment.”
Closing my eyes and shaking my head, I said, “You were worried, huh?”
“Lily.”
I glanced up into his jade green eyes. “I’m sorry.” I blurted out.
He took a step forward. “For what?”
“For being an idiot.”
“Care to elaborate?”
“It’s stupid.”
He surprised me by reaching forward and tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. “I’m sure it’s not stupid.”
I lifted my hand and touched my fingers where his hand had just been. “Julian, why are you training me? And please be honest.”