by T M Kelly
“Jenny.” Lily had her right arm wrapped around the front of my neck and her left arm positioned behind my neck. “Why did you allow me to perform a choke hold? You should be able to stop me.”
I placed my hands on her forearm and thought about how to get out of the hold. Lily never made the move to tighten and fully make me submit. I knew it was a test. The several hours of training started flashing through my mind. Finally, I found a way to move my arm up in between her arm and my neck. Then I bent my body forward forcing her to loosen her grip.
“Yes, take her down, Jenny,” Julian yelled from the side of the ring.
I felt myself get angry. My adrenaline was in overdrive. Memories were threatening to surface, but I ignored the past for now. I didn’t have time to worry about what had happened then; it was about what was happening now. What mattered was that my opponent didn’t have the chance to put me in a submission hold. With all the strength I had left in me, I found a way to spin around. Now I was behind Lily, and I had the chance to take her down. I placed my left arm under her left arm and pulled up so my arm was pushed against her bicep. Lily’s arm was straight up in the air and sitting next to her head. As I pulled tighter, I had her arm and neck in my grasp. She struggled to move out of the hold.
“Bend down, Lily. Don’t let her win that easily.” Malik was back and barking orders.
Lily dropped down to her knees and continued to struggle to free herself. I slid down with her and noticed my grip loosening. My upper body was turned to the right while my lower body was positioned in the opposite direction. I could feel her arm slowly sliding from grasp.
“Move forward, Jenny. Don’t let her out of your hold,” Malik yelled.
“Can you see what he means?” Lily said from below me.
“I think so.”
She reached back and tapped my left leg. “Step forward so you can get a better grip on me.”
I found a way to straighten my body and move closer to her. The moment I shifted into position, I could feel I had better control over Lily and the way I was holding her arm. Instead of overthinking the situation, I tightened my hold a little more and then stopped moving. Something told me if I tried to take it into a full submission hold, I would potentially break her arm.
I felt Lily tap my leg twice and I quickly let go. My body fell to the mat and I rolled onto my back. “Did I do that right?”
“Was that right?” Lily repeated. “Seriously? Jenny, that was perfect.”
Lily was rubbing her shoulder. “Wait. Did I injure you?”
“Nope.” She touched my hand. “I’m fine.”
“My body felt like it was in two different positions. Until you directed me where to position my leg, I was lost on what to do next.”
Lily sat up and crossed her legs. “We’ll be on the sidelines helping. We won’t leave you alone.”
I actually sighed. The thought of having to remember every move was overwhelming. “Well that just made me breathe again.”
“Oh yeah, we love to yell out cues.”
“I had no idea. This will be my first time going to a fight.”
Lily’s eyes went wide. “Oh, you’re in for a treat.”
“Unless my husband decides to make an appearance.”
“Do you think he will?”
“Yes. He’s not that smart.”
“Well, Charlie, Zoe, and me are ready to protect you every step of the way.”
“We all will.” Malik leaned on the rope. “You’ll never be alone.”
“Even in the bathroom,” Lily said and stood up. “Come on, let’s force Julian to make his world-famous dinner.”
“He’ll have to make it at the guest house,” I said and started to pull the tape off my hands. “I’ve been over here too long already.”
“He’s already over there.” Malik reached forward and took over the task to get every strip off my hands.
“He’s a good man,” Lily said and hopped down from the ring. “See you over there. I’m going to hop in the shower really quick.”
When I couldn’t see her legs anymore on the stairs, I turned to Malik. “Think I’m in over my head?”
“What?” No.” He dropped the last of the tape on the floor and tugged me close. “When Lily directed you to move your leg, that was the money shot. You looked perfect from that point on.”
“Okay.” I dropped my head to his chest. As it got closer to the fight, I noticed my insides continued to twist and turn at a faster pace.
“Hey.” He placed his index finger under my chin and lifted it up slowly. “We all plan to protect you. Even Kac will be there.”
“Wait, but he doesn’t do that I thought?”
“He doesn’t unless I ask.”
If Ray did show up, I thought about how I would be out in the open in the center of the octagon. He was never into weapons, but what if that changed? There would be nowhere for me to hide. All the protection in the world couldn’t stop a bullet from hitting me square in the center of my chest.
“Jenny.” Malik brushed his finger down the side of my face. “Stop thinking about what could happen.”
“It’s hard not to.”
“We’ll be watching every door. He’ll regret the day he decided to enter the arena.”
I wrapped my arms around his neck. “How did I get so lucky when I met you?”
“I was just thinking the same thing.”
His words touched me. I brushed my nose back and forth on his. “We should thank the person who placed the announcement about self-defense classes on the door at my grocery store.”
“That person would be me.”
“Really?”
“I agreed to get some flyers placed in businesses to amp up visibility for the class.”
“Oh,” I said and lightly kissed him. “Then thank you.” He smiled and took the kiss deeper.
I noticed how my body reacted in the presence of Malik. The fear that consumed me for several years was slowly dissipating. In fear’s place the will to survive was taking up shop. I knew the fight tomorrow wasn’t just about the opportunity to be a part of Spartacus. It was also about the next chapter in my life. Which meant I had to trust the people I was surrounded by. They would make sure nothing happened to me. Trust was so hard to come by, but everyone at Fight It Out had proven they had my best interest at heart.
“All right, favorite MMA move?” I sat down at the kitchen table and dug my fork into the pasta.
“Who are you asking?” Malik said and stuffed a forkful of pasta into his mouth.
“Any one of you?”
I noticed how Lily rolled her eyes. “Definitely not the triangle hold.”
“But you’re a pro at it now.” Julian nudged her side.
“Okay, I sense a story there?” It was nice joking instead of thinking of something negative every five seconds. “I thought that was your move?”
“It is.” Lily sighed and sat back in her chair. “Doesn’t mean I have to love it.”
“She’s just being modest,” Malik said. “That’s definitely her signature move, and all her opponents try to avoid any position that leads to that hold.”
“Well, looks like I know who to go to when I need help with it.”
“Go to Julian. He taught me all I know.” Lily winked and took a drink of her water. “Jenny, did you wrestle in high school?”
“Oh, hell no. I was on cross-country. That’s it.” The room went silent. It felt like one of those awkward moments.
“Can I ask a personal question?” Lily leaned forward and rested her arms on the table.
“You’ve let me monopolize your guest house and gym. Of course you can ask.”
“Your husband used some serious moves on you in the past. Am I right?”
“Yes.”
“Jenny, I hope you’re not learning mixed martial arts just to seek revenge. Please tell me it’s more than that?”
Her question caught me off guard. “I don’t want to be a fighter because of R
ay. I’m doing this for me.” The night he almost succeeded in killing me flooded my mind. “Men shouldn’t have the ability to flash their power and make women feel weak. I wish I did wrestle in high school, then maybe I would’ve been able to defend myself.”
“I didn’t mean to upset you.”
“No, it’s okay. I want to be a fighter for me. I’m doing all this to prove to myself I’m strong enough, and I can survive anything.”
Lily reached her hand across the table and grabbed mine. “You’re amazing. If Malik forgets to tell you that, I wanted to let you know. We’re truly lucky at Fight It Out to be on this journey with you.”
Her words took me by surprise.
I knew I was the lucky one, though.
21
“Holy shit, I’m so damn full.” I threw my hands over my stomach and let my body fall onto the couch. Lily was right when she said Julian could cook. The man made the most amazing dinner. We had pasta with Bolognese, garlic bread, asparagus, and then for dessert we devoured a chocolate cheesecake.
“You’re lucky you don’t have to cut before the fight tomorrow.” He squeezed my hand. “If you get added to a fight card, you need to prepare yourself. Cutting is brutal but necessary.”
“Are you sure I’ll be okay tomorrow?”
“They’ve matched you with someone in your weight range. You’ll be fine.”
“Promise?”
“Cross my heart.” He made an X in the center of his chest. “I can’t cook,” Malik said out of the blue.
“What?” I leaned up and tried not to laugh.
“I’m horrible in the kitchen. Well, except I can make a mean grilled cheese sandwich.”
“You don’t have to be a good cook.” I climbed onto his lap. “I like you just the way you are.” We both started to sing the Billy Joel song and burst out laughing. “Plus, you’re in luck.”
“Yeah, why’s that?”
“I’m a great cook. Although, I’m not sure if Ray would agree.” I shrugged my shoulders doubting my abilities in the kitchen. “And better yet, I love to bake.”
“And bake? This all feels too perfect.” He traced his finger down the bridge of my nose. “And you’re a great cook from what I can tell.” He smiled. “I have no complaints on the mac n’cheese.”
I wrapped my arms around his neck. “I hope you’re right.” There was a click sound that came from the kitchen. My body went still. “Did you hear that?”
“Yeah, stay here.” He moved me off his lap and stood up.
“It’s just me,” Journey said from the doorway.
“Seriously, what if we were…you know?” Malik sat back down and rested his arms on his thighs. “Maybe text first.”
“I did.” Journey rolled her eyes and sat down on the edge of the couch. “Listen, we may need more manpower tomorrow night.”
“Why do you say that?” Malik said.
“There’s some chatter on the back lines that has me questioning our decision to let Jenny fight.” Journey glanced in my direction. “I’m concerned for your safety.”
I looked over at Malik and back toward Journey. “Almost everyone at Fight It Out will be there. Isn’t that enough manpower?”
“Journey,” Malik said and placed his hand on my thigh. “There will be enough people surrounding Jenny. She’ll be fully protected.”
She stood up. “Listen, I’m just sharing what we’re hearing.”
“I get that.” He looked over at me. “Do you want more protection, Jenny?”
“You’re asking me?” I put my arms up in surrender. “I was just a housewife. You all know this shit better than me.”
Journey groaned. “Looks like I’ll leave that up to you, Malik.” She turned to leave. “But remember you left the agency years ago. I’m the one still putting my life on the line every day.”
I watched as she opened the back door and stepped outside. I turned back toward Malik. “Maybe she’s right?”
“You want more agents assigned to your case?”
“I don’t know.” I jumped up and ran outside. “Journey, wait.”
She turned around. “You shouldn’t be out here.”
It was pitch dark outside. I took a few steps back and made sure my body was directly in the doorway. “Do what you feel is right.”
“It’s not about what I feel. I’m here to protect you, Jenny.”
“I know, so if you need to add protection, then do it.”
“But Malik said—”
“I know what Malik said, but you’re the agent in charge.”
She turned her head to the side. “Jenny, why are you trusting me right now?”
“Trust is a word that hasn’t been in my vocabulary for a very long time.”
“And now?”
“You and Lincoln are here protecting me, when you should be on one of your intense cases.”
Journey laughed. “Has Malik been talking about me again?”
“Maybe.”
She stepped forward. “I’m here because my friend needed me. That’s what we do for our friends.” I didn’t know what to say. “I’ll get a couple of my guys to make the trip.”
“You don’t know me. Yet, you want to help protect me because your friend asked.”
“Jenny, I respect what you’re doing. Most people would run and hide. You,” she said and shook her head. “You’re willing to step into the fire.” She turned to leave. “That’s why I’ll stop at nothing to ensure you’re safe.” Journey walked down the sidewalk. I stood and watched as her body disappeared into the darkness of the night.
I turned around to head back inside. Malik was sitting on a barstool at the kitchen island. “What?”
“Nothing.”
“You want to say something. It’s written all over your face.”
“No, I really don’t have anything to say.” He stood and walked toward me. “Journey and Lincoln are my closest friends. I shouldn’t have doubted her.”
“More protection can’t be a bad thing, right?” I said and wrapped my arms around his waist.
“No.”
“But?”
He shook his head. “No buts. Honestly, I don’t think Ray will show.”
His words caught me off guard. “You don’t?” I stepped back. “My image has been flashed everywhere on promotional material for the fight. Why would you say that?”
“Ray may not be very smart, but he has to know you’ll be fully protected.” He walked over to the refrigerator and pulled out two water bottles. “Which makes me wonder. If he doesn’t show, where will he pop up?”
“This all still feels confusing. He’s the one that beat me and tried to kill me.” I leaned my hands on the counter. “I lived my life in fear and did whatever he wanted day in and day out.”
“He’s in deep.”
“Yeah, I know.” I needed a moment to think. “Can I be alone for a moment?”
Malik stood. “Do you want me to leave?”
“No, I’m just going to spend some time in the bedroom.”
“I’ll be out here if you need me.”
I squeezed his hand and leaned in to kiss his cheek. “Thanks.” I grabbed the water bottle and made my way out of the room. A part of me felt bad asking for some time to myself. There was just so much happening, and I was struggling to process it all.
The fight tomorrow could change my life, or it could end it. One thing was sure—I wasn’t ready to die. My husband made me believe his job was priority. What I’ve since found out, the only priority in his life was money. The more he made propelled him up in the ranks. Finding out he had let himself get mixed up with a mob seemed insane. It still didn’t answer why he wanted me dead.
I stepped into the bathroom and stood in front of the mirror. “He has to be paranoid,” I said to myself while brushing my fingers through my hair. “What if he was threatened and now he’s creating stories in his mind.” I closed my eyes and tried to visualize a time when Ray was a good man. He did love me once. At least
that’s what he made me believe. Now I was hiding out and afraid for my life. It just didn’t make sense.
“Jenny.” I heard a knock on the bathroom door. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah, fine.” I leaned my back against the wood surface and slid down to the floor. “He used to love me, Malik.”
“I know, baby. Open the door.”
“I’m not ready to die.”
“You’re not going to die. Just open the door, Jenny.” I reached up and turned the latch. The door swung out. As he opened the door, I had to hold my back up to prevent myself from falling onto the carpet. Malik knelt down beside me. “I won’t let you die, Jenny.”
“He’s not himself anymore. There’s no way you can guarantee that.” I patted his hand currently holding onto my bicep. “This needs to end. I can’t live my life hiding out.”
“This will all be over tomorrow.”
“Yet, you don’t think he’ll show.” I hopped up and leaned against the bathroom counter. “He needs to show, Malik, and you all need to make sure to take him down.”
22
“The outside of the octagon will be completely surrounded tonight.” Malik sat down beside me at the kitchen table. “We can’t cover you in a bullet proof vest. There’s no way to even shield you when you’re in the center of the ring.”
I reached for his hand. “Hey, hey.”
“If I could referee tonight, I would.” He dropped his head to his hands.
“Malik.” I turned to face him. “If I don’t do this. Then what?”
“You’re safe here. Ray can’t kill you.”