by Katy Kaylee
And he was right.
Spasming slightly, I rasped for air as Ryan groaned against my folds, and he shuffled back onto the bed to grab my ankles and pull. Draping himself over me, he swiped his head against my weeping slit, and excitement flooded my system. Gingerly easing into my entrance, he propped his elbows against my shoulders to kiss me deeply, and I moaned hoarsely.
Ryan was decidedly gentler than with my throat, and he slowly thrust to stretch my quivering, inner walls. His tongue wrapped around mine, and the taste of us eased the fire in my throat as saliva pooled in my mouth. Tangling together, his tongue flicked the roof of my mouth, and he ground his hips against mine to send cold, prickling euphoria ripping up my spine.
Balancing on one forearm, Ryan reached between us to play with my clit, and I tilted my hips as my desire for him drowned out the needy screaming of my lungs. Tearing his lips from mine to pant harshly, he ducked into my neck as his palm settled against my bump, and I wrapped my arms tightly around his broad shoulders.
Moans escaped me breathlessly as he set a steady, easy pace that was arguably more pleasurable than the rough stuff. Now, I could take my time and enjoy Ryan’s cock, his breaths, his chest hairs rubbing the delicate flesh of my breasts raw…
“Steady, baby…” Murmuring softly, Ryan licked the thin layer of skin over my windpipe, and I only groaned in response. “Don’t pass out. I can’t fuck you so nice if you pass out.”
“It’s-s-s so- so- so nice…” Arching with a gasp, I gripped his shoulders to grind against Ryan’s thrusts, and he grumbled in pleasure. Rocking in sync, another orgasm washed through me, and I clamped down on his cock with a moan. His palm never left my bump, and he captured my lips to kiss me sweetly.
Every thrust sent me higher, and Ryan trembled against me as he fisted my hair. Hissing into my mouth, he sucked my bottom lip between his teeth, and a violent shiver raked my spine.
“I want you to eat my cum, baby…?” Rasping the half-question, Ryan groaned when I nodded instantly, and he pulled out of me to poise over my chest again. The head of his thick cock throbbed, and I sucked and licked as my taste buds tingled in expectation. “F-fuck… fuck- you’re so good at this-“
Cracking my eyes open, I marveled at the strain in his neck, the way Ryan’s muscles shifted under taut, tanned skin. Reaching up to caress his chest, my palm disappeared under his, and he tensed as his jaw ticked noticeably. Hot, salty cum spurted onto my tongue, and I bristled as he shuddered and gasped. His cock twitched, and he pumped his length to give me all he had.
Ryan only shuffled off me enough not to crush me as he collapsed, and I gulped down his cum to pant wildly. Trembling, clammy fingers flexed against my baby bump, and he rested his head heavily on my breast. For a long moment, I couldn’t think of anything but breathing, and my heart ached with its effort to slow down.
“… I don’t want to offend you or anything, but… you’re such a nasty fucking slut, and I love it.” The corners of my mouth quirked at that, and I heaved a massive sigh as Ryan propped his head on his fist. His eyes twinkled under heavy lids, and he placed a hard kiss on my lips with a sigh of his own. “I don’t mean it bad.”
“I know…” Smiling dazedly, Ryan rubbed my belly, and I shuffled to roll sluggishly onto my side. “Why would you think it’d be offensive?”
“Because I don’t know what your ex said to you.” Ryan stared directly at my face as the blood drained from my cheeks, and his lips thinned as goosebumps washed my skin. “If you had some bad experience with being called a nasty slut, I just want to buffer that it’s not this awful, degrading phrase.”
Clenching and releasing my jaw, I turned sharply onto my other side, but Ryan didn’t protest. His palm crept over my ass and hip to settle on my abdomen, warm and reassuring and proving once again that he was a good man. Inhaling a shaky breath, my sternum popped faintly to release some of the tension, but it only gathered between my shoulders.
But, this time, my brain didn’t ache, and my eyes didn’t leak at the memories that dredged up from deep in my head.
“… He didn’t even think enough about the sex to call it bad or insult me.” The confession sent a throb through my heart, and Ryan conformed to my back to tangle our legs. Exhaling sharply, I licked my lips while his brushed against my shoulder in comfort. “It sounds so stupid out loud. I knew Craig didn’t want me- I knew I didn’t want him to want me… but…”
“I want you, Gwen.” Placing a chaste kiss on my cheek, Ryan sighed heavily, and I closed my eyes to savor his security. “You have no idea how much I want you… how much I want this baby. It’s not mine- I’m not delusional thinking there won’t be some tension, but eventually, I’ll want him for him, not for you, and that’s important, I think.”
Ryan
“Do you think you can get away with this, mister?” Kissing Gwen’s bump as the baby pushed against my palms, I grinned and moved to another spot. His hand or foot followed me, pressing weakly, and she giggled before shoveling another spoonful of turkey stew into her mouth. “You’re gunna be such a strong boy.”
“I appreciate this, Ryan- he kicks up against my stomach when I eat, so, som-“ Lifting myself up to kiss her, I cut off her gratitude to taste her, and Gwen blushed when I pulled back. Rubbing her belly, I shuffled to ease the slight ache in my legs from crouching so long, and my grin widened.
“It’s okay, Gwen. If you need it, you need it.” Licking my lips heavily, I ignored the slight twang of broth that tickled my taste buds, and a nervousness clawed at my throat. “Um- so, I wanted to talk to you about my parents. They’re visiting this weekend, and I want to tell them.”
“Ryan… no-“ Setting her empty bowl on the coffee table as I leaned back on the balls of my feet, Gwen frowned under furrowed brows. “What are we going to say-“
“We’ll tell them the truth- that you’re my girlfriend, and you’re pregnant. Why would they have any reason to ask if it’s not mine?” She groaned in frustration, and I stood up to sit next to her and prop my elbows on my knees. “I don’t get what the problem is.”
“There’s no problem, Ryan- just, think about it. Okay? I’m Thomas’ big sister, and I’m divorced, and they’ll think I trapped you or something because I had a ‘moment of weakness’ and got pregnant on purpose to feel fulfilled. I literally just did this with my family, okay? I don’t want to do it again.” She’s got a point. That tiny voice in my head tugged down the corners of my mouth, and I covered my frown to sigh through my nose. “It’s different for you, okay? People don’t judge you for having sex with me- they judge me for having sex with you. And who actually believes that birth control fails? I can’t take it out, but I had it in longer than I should’ve, and that makes it all a plot. For money- or fame- or something…”
“Gwen- I get what you’re trying to say, but my parents aren’t like that, okay? They don’t give a shit about my adult decisions- I make them, I have to deal with the outcomes. They’re not going to second guess my happiness or my decision to do this. They don’t even have to know it’s not mine-“
“That’s not the point because it is yours! I- don’t- want- to- do- it- I don’t want to go through that again, Ryan! It’s nerve wrecking, okay, and you can assure and reassure all you want, but I’m still going to be sick from anxiety before and after!” My throat closed, eyes boggling as Gwen stood up in a fury, but she was on a roll. Blood pounded against my ear drums, downing out whatever justification she had to not tell my parents; I was sure they were valid ones, but I didn’t hear them.
It is yours. It is yours. It is yours.
“… The baby is mine?” The coldness in my tone shocked me, and I clenched my jaw as the question rolled thickly off my tongue. Glancing up as Gwen tensed, sucking in a sharp breath, my pupils tightened at the guilt that drenched her expression. “It’s mine- but you said it wasn’t-“
Gwen’s anger melted away in the face of my accusation, and she held up her hands as she gaped like a fish. My heart
stuttered and throbbed, and I somehow managed a harsh breath before she found words of her own. High-pitched and panicked, her tone gyrated against my ears to slice through the drumming.
“I never expected you to just jump into it- to- to be so happy about a mistake! You didn’t even care! What if you woke up one day and decide that you spoke too soon- it was too much- and you didn’t want to give up being a hot 25-year-old actor? It- it just came out- and I…” I tried really hard not to take that personally, but the hurt overwhelmed me and spread to every nerve in my body. The rational side of my brain told me that Gwen had every right to feel that way- to worry- but the emotions roiling in my chest beat my heart viciously. “I’m sorry, Ryan- I panicked, and it just came out because… if- if you were going to leave… I wanted it to happen as soon as possible.”
“… I- I need to g- think…” Catching myself before I made this worse, I pushed myself up stiffly as Gwen’s sniffle crackled in the room like lightning. “I need to take a walk- I need to think.”
“Please don’t leave.” The slurring squawk drew my gaze, and I clenched my hands into tight fists to shove them into my jean pockets. Desperation swirled in Gwen’s brown eyes, amplified by her tears, and I could only jerk my head in a nod. I left my car keys and my cell phone, and I fished my wallet out of my back pocket just to give that added level of assurance.
Because she wouldn’t believe me if I spoke, anyway.
Her eyes bored ruts into my back all the way up until I closed the front door of her home, and I stared blankly at the concrete stairs. My legs shuffled with no direction from my head, and my palms flexed against their holsters as apprehension buzzed through me. Behind my aching eyes, my brain pounded with furious, spinning cogs that threatened to come off their axles.
“Shit!” Kicking the sidewalk hard, I rubbed my prickling palms over my face to groan loudly. “Shit! Fuck!”
I was in California, and she was here alone.
We don’t really know each other enough to be able to predict how I’d react.
Her fears are valid- her divorce was finalized less than three months before, and she was pregnant so quickly.
Plus- honestly, who really believes that the birth control failed? They assume it’s somehow her fault.
Not to mention that she did already tell her family, and that was a horror trip…
But all of these rationalizations, the knowledge that she was scared, couldn’t overpower the simple fact that Gwen lied to me. She had every reason to freak the fuck out, but there was something incomprehensible about that notion.
“It’s not like I haven’t been lying to her the entire time, either…” My own grumble hit me square in the face, and I flopped my head back to grip my hair. “I mean, how creepy is it to lead off with ‘I’ve been in love with you since I was 12’… it was just easier to be the rebound guy…”
“This is so fucked up- I’m such a hypocrite.” I hadn’t questioned Gwen, thinking she wouldn’t lie to me, but I knew, subconsciously. I knew this baby was mine, even if I didn’t realize it. There was no way she’d fuck another guy even when we weren’t dating. I was interested in her- that was enough to wipe away any thoughts about other men.
Gwen’s ex-husband cheated on her for years- maybe the entirety of their relationship- so her making me go through that… no- just, no. Now that I really thought about it, it was so easy to realize that she’d been lying.
“God- this is so messy. Thank God that Thomas hasn’t been home the past few days I’ve gone there.” If I had to deal with Thomas, who Gwen said didn’t take this news very well, I would fucking deck him. He needed to fucking grow up- boohoo, bitch, I got your sister pregnant, even if you don’t know it was me. I’d spent most of my time at her house because I don’t want you to complain my ear off.
Blinking hard, I tried to think of a single conversation that I’d had with Thomas in recent years that wasn’t him trying to coax me into a party or complaining. Could our friendship even stand up to the fact that I got Gwen pregnant?
Did I want it to?
Shaking my head furiously, I heaved a huge breath as the Spring breeze slammed into me like a wall. This wasn’t so bad- I could do this. I could get over Gwen lying because she didn’t mean it. She’s had to rely on herself, always calculating the most likely outcome before it happened, just to protect herself.
“After all, life is just endlessly rationalizing and explaining away your decisions to other people until you die.” Turning on my heel, I wandered back towards Gwen’s house- or, the general direction I thought it was in. Glancing around, my eyeballs stopped aching, and the invisible elephant on my shoulders disappeared. “This is my decision, and everyone else can go fuck themselves- especially Thomas.”
Scoffing at my grumble, I nodded to myself as my dinner with Tommy filled my inner eye and gave me a pretty damn good distraction. He was doing great at his job; he was happy, productive, and he had something to be proud of.
But, inevitably, the conversation turned to Gwen, and Tom just tore into her. It was so bad that I had to apologize to the people next to us at the bar who’d overheard everything. He ripped into her character, her will-power, her business- and, then, he got to her pregnancy.
I never knew a grown-ass man could be so infantile, ranting on and on about his dumbfuck, terribly bias opinion. No wonder Gwen doesn’t want to tell my parents.
Gwen
Rolling my lips between my teeth, I flexed my fingers in Ryan’s grip as my gaze glued to the gate across the terminal. He’d come back so much sooner than I’d expected, but that seemed to be a trend with him. Shivers lodged between my shoulder blades, and goosebumps washed my arms and chest.
“Don’t start hyperventilating, Gwen.” The murmur was equal parts sympathy and humor, and I frowned as I jabbed Ryan’s side with my elbow. “Ow! Fuck- that hurt-“
“Why didn’t you lead off with the fact that they were landing tonight?” Hissing as I glanced around at people that had much better things to do than listen to me, I huffed softly. “I thought you said they were coming this weekend-“
“Gwen, it’s Thursday night. I wasn’t even going to pick them up, but my dad called me from the plane an hour ago and asked. They were supposed to get a cab to their hotel. Everything is going fuckall, today, apparently, but it’ll be fine. I promise.” Gnawing diligently on my bottom lip, I simmered at that, and Ryan reached to hold my head to his chest. “Trust me, okay? I say it because it’s true- I don’t give a fuck about what anyone says. I want to be with you, and not even my parents can say shit. If they try to complain- which they won’t- I’ll just threaten to stop paying for their retirement. It’ll shut them up, at least.”
“You’d disown your parents for me?” Kissing my crown, Ryan exhaled into my hair, and I closed my eyes as I wrestled with his pure strength of determination. “You shouldn’t.”
“Maybe not, but I will if I have to. I don’t think it’ll go sideways- I mean, it would if I were with a gold digger or something, but you’re not a gold digger.” Huffing a laugh at that, I pulled back to kiss his lips, and he stroked my hair tenderly. “Speaking of- do you still want me to come with you tomorrow? I don’t want to get in the way.”
“No- I do. I need to make sure the staff is ready for opening on Tuesday. Um- maybe- maybe your parents could come? My parents will be there, and I invited some food critics and sent out some e-mails to my mailing list. I’m not sure how many people will be there, but that’s part of it. There’s only so far I can get the staff, and-“
“Ryan!” My stomach dropped to my ankles at the shrill, excited call, and my eyes widened to search deeper into the terminal. The airport wasn’t massive, but it still took me a moment to recognize Ryan’s parents as they strode towards us. His mom was all smiles, and his dad actually looked exactly the same as the last time I’d seen him 12 years ago.
“Hey! How was your flight? No bratty kids?” Releasing me to hug his mom, Ryan’s entire demeanor changed, and I
rocked back on my heels to smile. Clasping my hands together, I pursed my lips when his mom shook her head with a laugh. “Good- hey, Dad. How’s the golf in Florida?”
“Still better than up here, Ryan. How was your filming? You just got back, right?” That ugly, ‘I’m an outsider’ feeling in the pit of my stomach disappeared when Ryan’s mom caught sight of me, and I fixed a polite smile on my face as her brows disappeared above her bangs. “Gwendolyn? I didn’t know you were back? When did that happen?”
“I moved back just before Christmas. Ryan’s been a huge help.” She shuffled over to me to pull me into a hug, and I stiffened at the unexpectedly tight embrace. Awkwardly patting her back, anxiety thrummed through my veins, and she leaned back to hold my shoulders at arm’s length.
“You’re so beautiful. Your mother called me last year to let me know your divorce went through- I’m so happy you left that guy- Kyle, or whatever. I used to tell your father all the damn time that if it was Cynthia, Devon would kick his ass and break them up.” Ryan’s father grunted in agreement, and my eyes widened when she cupped my face in both her soft, gnarly hands. “Come to dinner with us- it’ll be great! There’s so much I want to know- I heard your bakery won an award!”
“Mom, she’s already agreed to come with us- I asked her before we left, otherwise she wouldn’t have come with me to pick you up.” Blushing furiously as Maria beamed brightly, I rolled my lips between my teeth when Ryan flung his arm casually over my shoulders. “I parked pretty close, so it won’t be a hike.”
“So, how long have you two been dating?” My face flamed at such a direct question, and Devon chuckled from behind us when I ducked my head. “Please- Ryan’s had a crush on you since he was 5. It’s pretty obvious- you don’t bring a girl to the airport just because she’s a friend.”