by Katy Kaylee
Alice looked at me suspiciously and glanced over my shoulder. Oh no.
“What is that?” she exclaimed.
“What is what?”
Alice stomped passed me and pointed at the pink vibrator on the bed side table. “That!”
“It’s a vibrator, Alice,” I stated, quite surprised by my words.
So was she.
“I can see that..” She stepped away and cringed. “Oh my god. Where you having sex with yourself?”
“Yeah,” I said confidently and placed my hands on my hips. “Yes, I was.”
“Ew, that is just way too much information,” she scoffed.
“As opposed to having to listen to your sexcapades all the time?” I asked.
“What the hell is wrong with you? Did I interrupt your orgasm or something?” Alice asked.
“No, you just caught me off guard,” I muttered. “You didn't answer my question.”
“Oh, right. I used my emergency key, and I figured that since you have been cooped up in your apartment for almost four days, that you could use the company,” Alice answered. “There’s this really awesome movie about a witch that destroys the whole town that burned her at the stake like five hundred years ago. She comes back to life and seduces all the men in the village.”
“Oh, that sounds fun. Why don’t you go make us some popcorn and I’ll get dressed,” I suggested.
“Uhm, okay,” she said and turned to the door. “You’re acting really weird, Liv. Is everything okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine,” I said and crossed my arms nervously.
How the fuck was I going to get Zac out from under my bed, and out of my apartment without Alice knowing he was ever here?
I wasn't, and that was the reality of the situation.
I couldn't expect him to stay under my bed for the rest of the night. I couldn't sneak him out of the window because I was on the third floor.
I heard Alice in the kitchen and I whispered to Zac to get up. I clearly wasn't thinking, but I didn't know what else to do. Zac stared at me with wide eyes and gestured to me that he didn't know what to do either.
“Hey, Liv?” Alice called out.
“Yeah?” I called out as well.
“Where is your large popcorn bowl?”
“Try the tall pantry, at the back,” I said as I ushered Zac, who managed to pull on his jeans, to the living room.
The kitchen was sectioned off with a large wall, and the panty was in the far corner, so I could easily sneak Zac out through the front door without her seeing him.
This was the most stressful situation I had ever encountered in my entire life and my heart was pounding like crazy in my chest. We tiptoed out of the bedroom, but much to my dismay, and Zac’s I heard Alice coming towards us and I shoved him into the bathroom, closing the door.
“What are you doing? I thought you were going to get dressed,” she said to me, meeting with me in the hallway.
I glanced down at myself, wearing only a pair of white cotton panties and a tank top. “Oh, right.”
She narrowed her eyes suspiciously at me and crossed her arms. “What is with you today? You’re being really weird.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I chuckled nervously.
“Come one, Liv. Ive known you for most of my life, and I can tell something is not right,” Alice said.
“Everything is-”
A noise from the bathroom made both of us look at the door and I cringed inwardly.
“Who’s in there?” Alice asked, her eyes widening. “Do you have a guy in there?”
“Maybe.”
Her jaw dropped and her green eyes twinkled. “You seriously have a guy in here?”
“Yes, but-”
“Why didn't you tell me?” she asked.
“Well, you came in a little unannounced, you know,” I cringed.
“How did this happen?” she asked. “How was it?”
“Alice, I really don’t think that this is the best time to talk about this.”
“Who is it? Do I know him?” she said and grabbed at the door handle.
I moved in front of the door, pressing my back against it. “Alice, please don’t.
“No, please. I don’t think it’s a good idea, Alice.”
“Come on, Liv. I have to meet the guy you lost your virginity to,” she exclaimed.
“No, you most certainly do not. You might...”
“Scare him off? Is he cute?” she asked.
I honestly didn't know hot to answer that, and I opened my mouth like a fucking idiot. “I just on’’t think this is the right time or place to do this right now.”
“Why are you being so defensive about this? It’s no big deal,” Alice scoffed.
“It is to me,” I said firmly, glaring at Alice.
Alice glanced at me with wide eyes and backed away from the door. “I’m sorry, Liv. I didn’t mean to offend you. I know it’s a big deal to you and I shouldn't have been so insensitive.”
“It’s okay.”
“I can’t believe you had sex though. This is so great,” Alice said. “How was it?”
“Great,” I answered awkwardly.
“He can hear us, can’t he?” Alice cringed and I nodded. “Well, let me meet him. I promise I’ll be nice.”
I bit my bottom lip and held my breath.
This was going to be bad.
Zac
I could hear Liv and Alice talking outside the door and I could only imagine how awkward it was for Liv. I was okay, for now, but I knew that Alice would freak out once she found out that it was me, and had been me all along. I knew my sister, and there had been so many times that she had warned me to stay away from Liv.
I laughed it off then, being the asshole that I was, but I understood her reasoning. Liv was a special breed of woman, and obviously Alice knew that. Sadly, I had only realized it long after I should have.
I often wondered what could have been if I wasn't such an asshole. If I had been a better brother, a better son, and a better person, would Liv had seen that? I knew she didn't have the guts to tell me she had a crush on me, but that was only because she thought she wasn't pretty enough, and because of my behavior. I wondered what it would have been like to accompany her to her prom, or kiss her under the stars at the lake where she and Alice loved to go. Would we have been high school sweethearts, would we be married by now?
It was weird to think about things like that while listening to Alice and Liv babble on outside the door, and me standing on the other side, with no shirt, smelling like sex. I still tastes Liv on my lips, smelled her on my skin, and I savored the moment.
Because I knew, and Liv knew, that all hell was going to break loose once this door opened.
Liv and Alice started to argue again, and I leaned against the door. Not to listen better, but because this was just getting way out of hand. It was getting dragged out unnecessarily, so I reached for the door and turned the door knob.
“There he is,” I heard Alice say in a cheerful voice, but as soon as the door opened all the way, and she saw me, her smile faded, her jaw dropped and she took a step back. “Zac?”
“Hey, sis.”
“What the hell are you doing here?” Alice shrieked.
Honestly, I didn't know what the hell to say to Alice.
There I was, standing in Liv’s bathroom, wearing only my jeans, and the whole apartment which reeked of sex, according to Alice.
She wasn't wrong though.
“What the fuck?” Alice shrieked again and glanced at Liv. “He’s the guy you are sleeping with?”
Liv approached her and said, “Alice, I can explain-”
Of course Alice, being the drama queen she was, backed away from the both of us and stormed into the hallway towards the living area.
“Oh my god! I can’t believe you’re sleeping with my brother!” Alice exclaimed angrily.
“Alice, please listen to me-”
Alice whirled around and gl
ared angrily at me. “I can’t believe you’re sleeping with my best friend!”
“For fuck’s sake, Alice. We’re two adults. Don’t you think that we can do whatever and whoever we want?” I exclaimed angrily. “It’s not like I need your permission.”
“I can’t believe you, both of you!” she screamed and stormed to the door.
“Alice, wait,” Liv rushed after her and grabbed her arm.
“Let go of me, Liv,” Alice fumed.
“No, I want to explain,” Liv said to her.
“You lied to me, and you fucked my brother behind my back, and you want to explain? Frankly, I don't want to hear anything you have to say. Either of you,” Alice growled and yanked her arm free before storming out the door.
“Oh my god. She hates me,” Liv said and turned to me.
I noticed the tears in her eyes. I approached her and took her hand. “She doesn't hate you. She’s just in shock.”
“I have to go talk to her. I have to tell her-”
“Hey, look at me,” I said calmly and tilted her chin upward so she could look me in the eyes. The tears started to well up in her brown eyes and I said, “You’re in no state to talk to her. I’ll go down and talk to her. Okay?”
“But-”
“Trust me, Liv. Everything will be okay.”
She nodded, and I squeezed her hand. “It’s going to be okay,” I said before kissing the top of her head. I quickly rushed back to the bedroom, picked my shirt up from the floor and slipped it on as I headed out the apartment and down the stairs.
When I eventually stepped outside into the crisp night evening air, Alice stood by her car, her hands shaking.
“Alice,” I said as I approached her.
“Get the hell away from me, Zac,” she warned.
“No, I want you to listen to me.”
She whirled around angrily and asked, “How long has this been going on?”
“A couple of weeks,” I answered.
“A couple of weeks? And you didn't think to tell me about it?” she exclaimed.
“I’m sorry, okay. I know how you feel about me wanting to stay away from her, but-”
“You just couldn't help yourself, is that it? Was her being a virgin such a challenge for you?”
I scowled and shook my head. “You have got this all wrong, Alice. She’s not an accomplishment.”
“That’s right. She’s my best friend, and you’re my brother. Neither one of you is supposed to lie to me like that!”
“Liv knew how you’d react if she had to tell you, so she promised me that I wouldn't say anything to you,” I explained.
“That doesn't make it better you know. You two are sleeping together! You were the first guy she had sex with! Do you even know what a big deal it is to her?”
“Of course I know, but it was her idea,” I said to her.
“No, I don’t believe that. Why would she want to have sex with you for the first time?” Alice asked.
I knew that in order to answer that question honestly, I would have to come clean about everything else as well. The escort agency, my clients, everything.
Oh well, fuck it.
“Liv went to an agency to hire an escort to have sex with, so that she could get a bit of experience after you wanted to set her up with some guy,” I explained and she looked at me as though I was crazy. “I was her escort.”
“You’re a fucking escort now?” she shrieked. “What the fuck, Zac?”
“I did it for the money, okay! After Teagan I had nothing and I needed that money-”
“For that stupid car of yours?” she asked in exasperation. “How long are you still going to use that excuse?”
“It wasn't just for the car, Alice. Believe it or not, I actually enjoyed it.”
“You enjoyed having sex with random women, and getting paid for it?” Alice spat in disgust.
“I did not have sex with all those clients,” I said. “You wouldn't understand, because you don’t ever listen to me.”
Alice glared at me, her eyes shooting bolts of lightning at me. “You are so full of shit.”
“I swear to you, Alice. I didn't know it was going to be Liv.”
“But you did it anyway. Liv paid you to have sex with her, so that makes you a fucking man-whore!”
“Alice, just calm down. Liv didn't pay me.”
“You had sex with her anyway, so what’s the difference?”
“I did have sex with her, yes, and if that makes me a man-whore in your eyes, then so be it.”
“And what about the last couple of weeks? Was once not enough for you?” she asked and crossed her arms.
“She asked me to help her with a sexual experience, and how to please a guy and all that.”
Tears of frustration and anger filled Alice’s eyes and she shook her head. “Why couldn't she just come to me?”
“Because you’re not a guy. Liv trusted me enough to ask me to help her, and I did.”
“Out of the goodness of your heart, right?” she asked with thick sarcasm.
“It was an arrangement that Liv and I made. It was just about sex. That’s it, Alice.”
Alice crossed her arms and looked at me. “Was it really just sex?”
“Yes.”
“Are you sure about that, Zac, because the look on your face tells a different story.”
“I swear to you.”
What the hell as I doing?
It may have been just sex to me in the beginning, but now it wasn't anymore. Now my feelings had caused me to fall for the most beautiful woman who had been right under my nose all along. I was just too fucking stupid to have noticed it sooner.
“Then why did you lie about it? All those times that you had to leave, or was still at the shop fixing that stupid car of yours, you were having sex with my best friend?”
I pursed my lips and nodded.
“And all the times she told me she wasn't feeling well, or just wanted a quiet night alone, she was with you?” Alice asked again.
“Yes.”
“Oh my god,” she hissed and shoved me against the chest with both her hands. “You’re such fucking liars.”
“I’m sorry, Alice. I was just-”
“You were just being selfish,” Alice said. “So the night I was in the accident, you two were together.”
“Yes,” I said, shoving my hands into the front pockets of my jeans.
“How can you do this?”
“Like I said, this was just about sex, Alice. It was nothing more,” I said, knowing that it wasn't true for me. It may have been that way to Liv, but it wasn't to me. I was completely smitten with Liv, but I didn't have the courage to tell her.
“Really, so you have no feelings for her whatsoever?” she asked.
“No, I don’t! I don’t feel anything for her.”
“I don't even know if I can believe you right now, Zac. I don't even know who you are,” Alice exclaimed and rushed to her car.
“I’m your brother. You know exactly who I am,” I called out to her.
“Not right now, I don't,” she snapped as she opened her door.
“Alice, please-”
Of course she didn't listen to me, or even look at me. She simply climbed into her car and sped off. I ran my fingers through my hair and watched as her car disappeared down the road.
I let out a sigh and turned around. My heart sank into the ground when I saw Liv standing in the doorway of the apartment building.
“Liv,” I said and walked closer to her. “I’m so sorry.”
She shook her head at me and turned around. I ran up the steps after Liv, who was surprisingly fast on her feet. I didn't realize this, but she sped up those stairs like it was no-one’s business, and I struggled to keep up.
When we reached her floor, she came to a stop in front of her door and turned to me. Her eyes were filled with tears, and she glanced at me.
“Liv...”
“I think you should go,” she said in a small voice.
“I’m sorry that tonight didn't exactly go the way that we thought it would,” I said.
She pursed her lips and was quiet for a moment. “Was it true what you said to Alice downstairs?”
“Which part?” I asked, but I already knew.
“That it was only sex, and nothing more?” she asked.
“Liv, it’s not-”
“Answer the question, Zac. Do I really mean nothing to you?” she asked.
The expression on her face broke my heart and I stepped forward. “You will always be important to me, Liv. No matter what, you know that.”
“Do I?” she asked and a tear finally ran down her cheek. “Because it sure as hell doesn't feel like it.”
“Things with Alice is complicated. I don't want her to-”
“What about what I want?” she blurted out. “And what about what you want? Doesn’t that matter more?”
“Liv-”
“Alice has always gotten exactly what she wanted. Always, and I am sick of it. Sure, she’s my best friend and I love her so much, but she can be real selfish sometimes.”
“What are you trying to say?”
“I don’t want to say anything, because I don’t want my words to have an influence on your decisions. I want to know what you want, but if you can’t tell me that-”
“I can’t tell you, Liv. I’m not even sure myself, but I know it’s not what you want.”
Another tear ran down her cheek and she turned away.
“Liv, please. Let me just talk to Alice, and we can straighten everything out. I just think that she needs a bit of time to adjust to the thought of you and me,” I said.
“According to you, there is no you and me. I don’t mean anything to you.”
“You know that’s not true.”
“Well, now I know how Alice feels, because I don’t know what’s true and what’s not anymore,” she said, turned and stepped back into the apartment without another word.
I was too afraid to follow her, as judging by the expression on her face, she didn't want me anywhere near her. She came back after a minute, holding my jackets, my shoes, my keys and my wallet.
“Liv, don’t be like this,” I said.
“I want you to go,” she said to me.
“No, you don’t. You want me here,” I corrected her.