by Traci E Hall
She dared a glance at Raoul from beneath her lashes. Each maneuver he made was as deliberate as a move on a chessboard, yet in this his true colors showed. “My thanks.”
“We can wait and order a basket put together from the kitchens, or we could buy food from the market to eat as we watch the sea. Which do you choose?”
“I choose for you to set up the meeting between your emperor and my queen. You can send a messenger to your emperor.”
Raoul gritted his teeth. “And then you will relent and spend part of the day with me without whining?”
She considered all that was before her, including Raoul. This would be her last chance to spend time with the only man who made her feel passion.
“Oui.” As she answered, the sun came out from behind the clouds. “If you promise to ensure the meeting, then I will not whine even once.”
“I promise.” He gestured for another messenger and requested a meeting with Emperor Manuel later that day. “Done. Now I would rid you of your dislike of my leopards, and this is my last chance, my lady.”
His words were sharp daggers, reminding her their time together was short. She trusted him. She’d always known he was gathering information for his emperor. Bella was the one holding secrets.
Putting politics behind her for the next few hours, she would give in to the pleasures of the day. Starting in the lion’s den, er, leopard’s pen. “Lead the way, monsieur.”
Bella hadn’t realized she would be traipsing the city when she’d chosen her simple linen gown and short boots, but it was perfect for following Raoul as they went down a slippery grass hill below the bridge. “Ah, where we had our first disagreement.”
“First of many.” He grinned wickedly. “And you in that ridiculous yellow wig. You are made to be a brunette.”
“It felt false,” she agreed. “A sign I should never have worn it.”
“False but still beautiful.”
Because the compliment was sincerely given, it made her heart beat faster. Raoul was not one to hand out warm endearments.
They continued walking until Raoul finally stopped in front of a large wooden building and unlocked the outer doors. Bella noted it was different than the stables where the horses were kept, which was much like the stables at home. This enclosure was taller and filled with boulders, stumps, and barrels. As her eyes adjusted to the low light, she realized it was a leopard playground.
She could make out the twitching tail of one of the leopards camouflaged behind a tree as it watched them walk, gold eyes blinking. Bella shivered. “I’ve never seen anything like this before.”
“The man who designed it, who trained the previous leopards, was killed.”
“What?” Her voice squeaked, and she looked around nervously.
“Not by the leopards. By thieves who wanted their parents, but even though old Abba put up a fight, he was not strong enough against them. The leopards were stolen. Abba was murdered. The thieves didn’t know about the cubs, which were being nursed through the night because they were sickly.”
Bella looked toward the buff-colored leopards and felt an unwanted stir of pity. She’d been orphaned too.
“They had nobody to care for them. I wasn’t sleeping much at night, so I volunteered, hoping the thieves would come back so I could kill them.”
“Did you want to kill everybody?” Bella shook her head.
“At the time, yes.”
Bella shuddered to think how wild he would have been soon after the horrible disaster that had befallen his village. His wife and child. Her heart ached, but she pushed the soft feelings aside. They made her weak, and around Raoul that wasn’t something she could afford to be.
“This is the enclosure we lock the leopards in at night,” Raoul explained. “Arturo, where are you, boy?”
A figure stepped out from behind a huge wooden chest. “Here, my lord. I fed them already and was about to open the pen so they could go outside when you came in with your, er, lady friend.”
Raoul went to the chest and took out a set of keys. “We are just in time, Bella.”
Her heart tripped. “For what?”
“To go inside.” He walked to the locked gate.
“Their lair?” Bella didn’t take a step.
“Their home.” Raoul pulled Bella close.
“But—”
“You said you trusted me.”
She stilled, her hand in his. “That was before last night.” She said the words to push him back emotionally, although in truth her feelings that he was a trustworthy man hadn’t changed.
He lifted her chin and looked in her eyes. “You said you would enjoy the day.”
Bella locked her knees so she wouldn’t wobble. “I said I would try.”
“Bella?” His earnest look was so endearing she had no choice but to shake her head in denial even as she curled her fingers around his.
“What if they are still hungry?” She looked back at Arturo, who smiled, his teeth white in his dirty face.
“They aren’t.” Raoul unlocked the gate and stepped inside. “You are a friend now.”
She stopped, her pulse beating wildly as she remembered how friendly they’d been yesterday. Although truthfully her annoyance came from being played a fool, not any real physical hurt. “Don’t let them pounce on me, Raoul.”
“I’ll teach you the whistle commands. Star and Serena are well trained.”
Bella tilted her head in sudden understanding. “So you told them to lick my face like I was a piece of goat meat?”
His grin stole her breath, sweeping away her inhibitions. Raoul was magnificent in his victory. Her body, her heart, responded. Love. Lust? I am a fool.
Once inside the enclosure, Raoul gave a series of whistle commands that brought the leopards down from their perches. Star and Serena each studied Bella as if she were a stranger, cautiously sniffing the air around her as their spotted tails twitched in unison. “I thought you said they would recognize me.” Her tension rose as one of the leopards lifted a paw.
“Star’s the male, and he’s bigger. Serena’s sleeker. He wants to hold your hand.”
Bella swallowed, then took the leopard’s paw and held it. Serena wanted to do it next, making rumbling noises in her chest to get Star to move.
“Just like a woman to complain until she gets her way.” Raoul winked.
With effort, Bella stood still rather than launch herself at him to kiss him senseless.
Using only whistles, Raoul had the cats perform. Leaping, jumping, and twisting—showing off their muscular builds and sharp intelligence as they played.
Bella wanted one. “The cats are amazing. You showed them how to do all these tricks?”
“Old Abba taught me a few things before he was killed. I wasn’t sleeping much when I first came here, and we would talk as the cats roamed about the outside perimeter at night.”
“I can see why you love them.” Bella held out her hand, and Star approached to press his head beneath it.
“Give him a good scratch. Yes, like that. See? I told you they liked you.”
Raoul turned to look behind him and shouted, “Apprentice!”
Bella also turned and watched as Arturo’s eyes widened. “Apprentice? Really?”
“The paperwork is filed with the steward.” Raoul cleared his throat.
Arturo dropped to his knees. “I will not let you down. I will guard the leopards with my life. I will—”
“Stop,” Raoul commanded, “before you promise too much. You have a gift, Arturo. As you know already, your new position comes with hard work.”
Bella’s emotions were twisted yet again as she witnessed another kindness from a man who was supposed to be the devil’s spawn. Serena purred and flopped down on the straw, tired after all the exertions.
“Hand me the bag of treats, Arturo.”
“All right.” The boy quickly returned with a metal bucket of raw meat scraps.
Seeing the loving look in the leopard’s eyes,
Bella knew she would give them what they wanted.
“Just pick a piece, like this, and hold your palm up. See? Dainty, Star. Don’t be a glutton in front of the lady.”
“Ewwww.” She forced a smile as she selected a large, slippery morsel of raw goat meat and held it out on her palm for Serena. The cat’s white teeth bared as she delicately accepted the offering.
When the bucket was empty, they left the pen, carefully locking the door behind them. Arturo held out a water basin, soap, and a clean towel.
“You did well,” Raoul said, pride in his gruff tone. “Feeding them too.”
“I thought I might throw up,” she said with a laugh. “But it was better once I got used to the sliminess. I don’t think I will ever eat goat.”
Raoul slung his arm around her shoulder, making her feel safe. What would she do if a man such as Raoul would honor her with his love?
“Let’s go to the bazaar,” he said.
Bella nodded. “All right. Although I cannot say that I am hungry.” She put her hand to her queasy stomach. “I have some gifts to pick up at the charm stall.” She turned, waving at Raoul’s new apprentice. “It was nice to meet you, Arturo. Good-bye, cats.”
The sun shone brightly above. How quickly the time had passed as they’d played with the leopards. She didn’t protest when Raoul put his hand beneath her elbow and guided her down the unevenly paved road.
“These bricks have been here since the Romans first came,” Raoul said.
“Paris is old but not like this. And my memories of Aquitaine are all of what happened behind the convent walls. Constantinople breathes history. The great walls have withstood many invasions, protecting knowledge in relics and scrolls as well as truly ancient sites of worship.” She remembered to look for weaknesses as she walked, but her heart wasn’t in it. “What was your village like?”
His grip on her elbow tightened. “I don’t speak of it.”
“It hurts too much?” Bella said a prayer for his well-being.
“Talk changes nothing.”
His brusque tone didn’t scare her. Not anymore. “I would know you—and what can that hurt? After tomorrow, you will never see me again.” She tripped over a loose stone.
Raoul steered her toward a charbet stall and bought two before wordlessly walking up a steep hill. Bella followed, grateful for her sturdy boots.
When they reached the top, she noticed the harbor in the distance. “Thank you,” she said, accepting the cup he gave her.
Raoul cleared his throat, looking out at the water. “My village was small. We farmed, and we raised our families. We worked hard, but we had plenty to eat and times of rest. My wife …” He coughed and took a drink. “My wife could play the flute and sing.” He stared out, but Bella didn’t think he saw the boats or the harbor. “I can’t sing or play an instrument.” He paused, as if searching for the right words.
Bella held her cup in both hands. It would be a mistake to touch Raoul now, no matter how much she wanted to. It was better for him to talk.
“I was chief and ruled as my father and my grandfather had done. We didn’t have enough to make the Turks envy us, and we weren’t big enough to be targeted by the Christian barbarians looking for land or power.”
Bella stared at the ocean, remembering how Raoul had swum out among the rocks as if he hadn’t cared if he survived.
”My son hadn’t seen eight summers when our village was caught in a skirmish between the Christian raiders and the Turkish soldiers. My men and I returned with meat to feed our people, only to find them all dead and the village burned to the ground.”
A tear slipped down Bella’s cheek, but she stayed mute.
“I went mad when I found out that my sister had welcomed a Christian prince into her bed and that it was he who set up the attack by the Turks to make it look like Zengi, the fiercest Muslim raider alive, was closer to attacking Jerusalem. To make it seem that King Baldwin was too weak to rule so that this prince could gain power. I raged like a berserker. In one of the battles against the Turks, I saved Manuel’s life, and he … he saved mine.”
Bella waited, offering silent support and prayers for the souls of his family.
“Manuel offered me a position as his personal bodyguard. He trusts me. I set up assignations for him, as secretly as possible to save the empress’s feelings. As you know, she doesn’t condone his trysts.”
He shrugged, then set his half-filled cup on the ground. “That is my story. Would you like to sit? I have no blanket to offer, and the grass might stain your gown—”
“I have other gowns.” Bella sat, pulling Raoul with her. She faced him, holding his chin in her fingers so he would have to look in her eyes. “I wish we had met in a different life. I think I could love you.”
Raoul groaned and wrapped an arm around her shoulders, pulling her close, ravaging her mouth with a lemon-flavored kiss.
”I never wanted to feel this way.” His hoarse words sounded like a confession.
“I never thought to feel at all,” Bella said. “Until you.” She kissed his lips, his cheeks, his brow. “I know it will hurt worse on the morrow, but for today I just want this.” She slipped a hand around his nape and curled fingers in his hair.
He buried his head against her shoulder. “Even now that you know I couldn’t protect my family? What kind of man lets his wife and child die?”
Bella’s throat tightened and she swallowed, taking his face between her palms, meeting his dark sorrow with the light of truth. “You are a man of honor. Strength. You’ve suffered greatly, yet you’ve combated the blackness tearing at your soul the best you know how.” She took a breath, hoping he’d see it was time to forgive himself. “I am a woman who has known pain. Thanks to you, I now know what it feels like to be alive.” She kissed him. “We are survivors.”
CHAPTER 23
Raoul pulled his mouth from Bella’s with a growl of frustration. “I want you.”
Her eyes, dilated with desire, half closed. “And I you.” She looked around, her ebony hair sliding over her shoulder. “But where?”
“There’s a cave by the water.” What if she changed her mind? He’d told her his most intimate secrets, his darkest shame, but she saw in him a man of honor. He didn’t understand it and wouldn’t question it. The lady had to leave tomorrow. “Will you join me?”
“Oui.” She put her delicate hand on his arm. “I don’t want to waste another minute.”
He groaned. “Sit here. I’ll be right back.”
He ran down the hill to the closest stall in the market and bought a blanket, a flagon of wine, a loaf of bread, and some dates. He quickly charged back up the hill, not certain if she would still be there or if she was too good to be true.
His angel of mercy sat with her legs tucked to the side, her thin gown covering her fair body, the one he knew by heart, from his sight. The thin silver circlet holding her veil in place had been knocked askew, and the sheer scrap of fabric fluttered in the breeze like a ghost.
This passion he felt was maddening and forbidden, which raised the stakes. Not forbidden by Manuel but by himself. He’d taken an oath to fight until vengeance had been served and he could rejoin his family in an honorable death.
Love and life had not been part of the bargain.
Unable to lie to himself, he acknowledged that what he shared with Bella was not a simple case of lust to ease his loneliness. As she had wisely observed, the fact that they were to part made it easier to play along.
“I promised you food,” he said, holding the basket of supplies.
Her face was flushed with pleasure; her lips were red from his kisses.
“Sustenance. You are a man of your word.” Her expression closed, but then she added in a teasing tone, “And I am a woman of my word.”
Her adventurous spirit was infectious, and they laughed together as they climbed down the rocky path toward the cavern he’d found by accident two years ago. It gave the perfect view of the sea away from any pry
ing eyes.
“We are safe here,” he said, helping her over a boulder the size of a haystack.
“What am I looking at?” She shaded her eyes, studying the water.
“The Golden Horn. And out there, the ocean. It isn’t just the walls that protect our city but the water. See that long chain? It is pulled across from one shore to the next to disable enemy ships if they attempt to cross in warfare. The Romans knew how to build.”
“Oui.” She wrapped her arms around her waist as if she had a chill.
Raoul quickly laid the woolen blanket out on the stone floor of the rock enclosure and opened the bottle of wine. He wiped out their cups with the edge of the blanket and filled them with the fruity sweet drink. “My lady?”
“You know the manners of a gentleman. You choose not to use them.” She smiled, accepting her cup. “To you, Raoul Laskaris, a man of mysterious intrigue.”
He lightly tapped his cup to hers. Her violet eyes teased, but he saw smoldering desire in the darkening orbs. “To Lady Isabella de Lacey, a rare woman with a warrior’s gift.” He ran his thumb over the slight callous on her forefinger from the bow and arrow.
He knew his compliment pleased her when she said with a grin, “Thank you for not mentioning my eyes or hair. It gets old listening to the same praise.”
Raoul fell deeper beneath her enchantment. He tore off a hunk of bread for each of them. “Not the meal of last night,” he said, stumbling toward an apology.
“Nor the conversation.” She quickly stopped him with a kiss before gesturing out to the expanse of blue water. “The view is magnificent. It’s so peaceful here. Sometimes I miss the quiet of the convent compared to the chaos of the castle. Strange, hmm?”
He brushed his knuckle along her soft cheek. “No. Your strength comes from your ability to be still and observe before confidently making your move.”
She smiled, staring into her cup of wine. “Thank you. You will turn my head if you keep looking into my soul as you do.”
“I would have you remember me, Bella, as I will surely never forget you.”
Her brow lifted, her expression innocently seductive.