As much as he wanted to do the exact opposite. Could he break his own rule? Just once. He had to admit if she tempted him again, he might not be strong enough to say no. He looked for the ibuprofen in the cabinet, taking the opportunity to check out the rest of the cabinet. Birth control pills. Well, that was good to know. He read the labels of her prescriptions and recognized a couple as psychiatric medications. Why would she have those? Thinking he had been gone too long, he poured two pills into his hand and left the bathroom. When he returned to the main room, he joined Taylyn on the sofa. She handed him a beer and he took the two pills with the first sip.
Declan looked around the large mostly empty room. There was a kitchen area about five feet away from the sofa, if you could call one counter, four cabinets, a small stove, and a refrigerator a kitchen. The only other furniture in the apartment was a box spring and mattress on the floor, and a dresser and clothing rack across the room. He hated to say it, but what a dump! Why would she live in a place like this?
“So, you wanna fuck?”
Declan choked on his beer. “What?”
She moved closer to him, leaned in, and started kissing him. He kissed her back. He ran his fingers through her long blonde hair, down her back, and over her ass. She rose up on her knees while still kissing him and moved to straddle his lap. He knew he should stop, but he couldn’t; he had wanted this kiss so bad for so long. He’d stop in a minute or twenty.
He gripped her hips his as she began a slow rocking motion, applying pressure to the growing need in his jeans. He felt Taylyn fumbling with his button-fly and knew he had to end this now. He slowed their kiss to light pecks then, pulled away.
“Tay, we can’t.” His voice was raspy, his breathing labored.
“Why not?” She whined, wrapping her arms around his neck and applying even more pressure to his hardening dick.
“You’re drunk.”
“If you want me sober, you should be here at like eight in the morning with coffee. Otherwise, it’s probably not gonna happen.”
Declan battled the angel and devil on his shoulders; he had to admit the devil made some good points. But no, he couldn’t do it. Not with her. Not for their first time. He’d waited this long. He gave her one last kiss, deep, hard, and quick, then pulled away, moving her off his lap as gently as he could.
“No, Tay, not like this. I’ll call you tomorrow. We’ll talk. Okay?”
“Whatever.”
He leaned over and kissed her lips one more time. “I’m sorry, Tay, but not like this.” He got up and walked to the door. “I’ll see ya tomorrow.”
Chapter 13
Taylyn woke with a pounding in her head that grew louder and came with a voice. She groaned, reaching for her phone to check the time.
Who the fuck is banging on my door at eight in the fucking morning?
“Tay! Wake up, I have coffee.”
She slowly moved out of bed and stumbled blurry-eyed to the door. She swung it open, and there was Declan, a to-go tray in one hand and a set of alternator belts in the other. Taylyn shook her head, stepped aside, and waved him in. He paused to give her a kiss and walked over to the kitchen counter.
“Good morning. I have coffee.”
“Why are you so happy?”
“Because it’s eight in the morning and I have coffee.”
“And alternator belts.”
“Those too. I can put them in whenever. Won’t take long.”
“Why are you here at eight in the morning with coffee and alternator belts?”
“Well, last night you said I had to show up at eight with coffee so we could finish what we started last night. The alternator belts I picked up this morning because you need to get yours replaced.”
Was he serious? He came back for sex now when he could have had it last night? The man was impossible. Taylyn drank some of her coffee. It was exactly how she liked it. How had he known that one? Taylyn walked over to the couch. Motioning for him to follow her, she sat down in the corner. Declan sat on the middle cushion beside her, his hand resting on her thigh.
“How did you know how I liked my coffee?”
“I texted Autumn and asked her.” He moved around until he was facing her, one arm along the back of the couch and his other hand shifting slightly higher up her thigh.
Taylyn stared down at his hand, a warmth spreading from the spot straight up to her groin. She shifted a little, but that only caused his hand to drift further up her thigh. The tips of his fingers teased the edge of her tee shirt. When she looked back up at him, he was leaning closer to her. His lips were a warm moist touch to the corner of her own. She sighed as those lips nibbled at her jaw and his hand moved further under her tee, just inches from her pussy.
“Declan, not right now.”
“What?”
“I just woke up. I’m hungover. Do you really think now is a good time for this?”
His lips teased hers one more time before he pulled away. He had a smile on his face, and his eyes sparkled. He laughed lightly.
“You said—”
“I know what I said. I wasn’t seriously inviting you over for an eight A.M. booty call.”
Declan laughed harder. He scooted back to put some distance between them. “Tease.” He picked up his coffee.
“How about this—you have my permission to fuck me silly next time I’m drunk and horny and you’re around. Deal?”
“Hmm, that could work. I mean, you’re sober now. Maybe if I get it on recording. That could work.”
Taylyn rolled her eyes. The man was an idiot. A sexy, funny, sweet, caring idiot. And she was not liking the way he was tearing down the wall around her heart one brick at a time. She didn’t want to like him, but she did. She surely didn’t want to be with him, be in another relationship with anyone. But for him, she might. And it scared her to death. What was he doing to her?
♡
Declan got back into his truck after leaving Taylyn. He had stayed for an hour, and they’d talked about nothing. Really, it was nice. He thought over what she’d said about giving advance permission. While it sounded reasonable, it worried him. Why would she just assume the next time they saw each other, she’d be drunk? She couldn’t have been serious about always being drunk, right? He needed answers, and Taylyn would only talk in some cryptic code of half sentences that usually ended in, ‘ya know.’ No, he didn’t know. But he had an idea of where he might find out.
Declan pulled into Autumn’s driveway and parked. He limped up the walkway to her front door. He paused a moment at the bottom of the four steps leading up to the porch. He was getting to really hate stairs. He was wearing his knee brace again for the first time since he’d been back in Silverton.
“Well, are you coming in, or are you just here to admire my porch?”
Declan looked up to see Autumn standing at the door with a grin. How long had he been standing there? Slowly, he climbed the steps, dragging his bum knee behind him. He followed Autumn inside to her kitchen, where he took a seat at her breakfast bar.
“What do you want to drink?”
“Water is good.” He dug into his pocket for his painkiller. Another thing he hadn’t used since leaving California. “How have you been?”
“I’ve been great since the last time we talked, about twelve hours ago. What’s up?”
“Why does something have to be up? Can’t I come see my favorite cousin?”
“I’m your only cousin. Spill it. What's the matter?”
“And that’s why you’re my favorite!”
“Declan.”
“All right. It’s Taylyn. What—I mean, why. No, that’s not right. What happened to her? Why is she so cold and distant? She doesn’t smile like she used to.”
Declan watched as Autumn’s face softened. She bit her lip and swallowed hard. “I can’t talk about it. It’s not my place to say. You’ll have to talk to Tay. Just know.” Autumn swallowed hard again, her eyes watery. “She’s had a hard time at life. She . . . we . . . She’s had so
me tough breaks. I’m sorry, I can’t really say more.”
Declan wanted to push Autumn for more, but he knew it would be useless. Autumn wouldn’t give him more information; he’d have to find out himself. Which meant a heart to heart with Taylyn, preferably sober. Or maybe not. She might speak more freely with some liquid aid.
“So, what’s the latest news around town?” Declan asked. Maybe if he distracted her with mundane things, he could get her to slip in some clues to figuring out the mystery of Taylyn.
“Did you hear MacKenzie is getting married again? She met this wicked nice guy in London. It was so romantic . . . like a fairy tale.”
She sighed and Declan couldn't help but smile at the silly grin on her face.
“No, I didn't hear about that. Wait, I overheard Mrs. Sidney at the store a few weeks ago. Yah, she was talking to some lady, but she said something about some guy shacking up with Mac.”
“Mrs. Sidney doesn't know her mouth from her asshole, which is why she's always talking shit.” Autumn fumed, her nostrils flaring and her grip on the water bottle tightening.
“Whoa. Easy, killer. I didn't say I believed her. Just repeating what I heard. So, tell me the real story. I could use a fairy-tale happy ending right about now.” Wasn't that the truth. Besides, maybe he’d get a few ideas to use on Taylyn. “Just how did some guy manage to sweep MacKenzie off her feet between Christmas and now?”
Declan listened as Autumn explained how they met and had spent a few days together in London. MacKenzie had tried dating after she returned from London but never clicked with anyone. Declan had started to zone out after that part of the story. He hoped he was nodding and laughing at the right times. Declan hadn’t heard a word of what Autumn had said his mind was on Taylyn. He had thought his cousin would be able to help him figure out what had happened to Taylyn over the last five years. One thing was for sure, she wasn’t the girl she used to be.
“And then he showed up at her café on Valentine’s Day. To surprise her! Isn’t that so romantic?”
“Yah, sounds wonderful. So, you spent this past hour telling me every detail of how MacKenzie and Sebastian came to be, but you won’t talk to me about Taylyn?”
Autumn sighed and shrugged. “Ma’s story is a love story. Tay’s is a tragedy, and I’m not Shakespeare.”
“Well, maybe I can change that. Come on, Autumn, you must know how much I care about her.”
“I think Taylyn is the only one in this town who doesn’t know how you feel about her.”
Autumn bit her lip, took a deep breath, and let it out slowly. She looked off to the side for a moment and sighed. When she faced Declan again, she looked unsure of herself. Declan was about to give up and leave after another minute, figuring he wasn’t going to get any information from her.
“Tay had a horrible family life. The Carpenters are not nice people. They hurt her.” Autumn’s voice cracked, and she swiped at her eyes. “It all had an effect on Tay, and now she has . . . problems. She has trust issues. Now, add her bad luck with guys, and, well, you see where this is going, right? I can’t really say more. It’s Taylyn’s story, and she needs to be the one to tell it. Just know it’s not a happy fairy tale.”
They hurt her. The words echoed in Declan’s head, causing a sick feeling in his stomach. He wanted to push for more. What had they done to her? How had they hurt her? Her raked his fingers through his hair. This situation was driving him crazy. He needed to figure this shit out. He needed to find Taylyn and finally get her to talk to him. Somehow Declan had to get her to trust him enough to open up. She has trust issues.
“Okay, I’ve gotta go. I’ll talk to you later. You should stop by the bar. I miss you.”
“I don’t really like being in big crowds anymore. They bother me.” Autumn started walking away. “Hang on for a minute, I need you to give something to Jamie.”
Who?
Autumn came back holding a black hoodie that looked awfully familiar. He reached out for it. “Who am I giving this to?”
“Jamie.”
“Come again? I don’t know any Jamie.”
“Uh huh. Your friend, Jamie, the one from California. He’s your bouncer at the bar.”
“James? My friend James?”
“Yes. That’s what I said! Jamie.”
“Okay. I’ll give him the hoodie. I’ll talk to you later. Bye.”
He hugged her and started for the front door, not knowing anything more than when he came. Now he had even more questions. Why was Autumn calling his best friend Jamie? And why did she have his hoodie?
“I know where Tay will be this afternoon if you want to try and talk to her. She walks the river run every Tuesday and Thursday from four to about five. Go talk to her.”
Chapter 14
Taylyn rounded the last corner of the river walk, slowing her jog down to a walk in an effort to cool down. She had changed her routine of walking the circuit to jogging it last week. The dieting and workouts at the gym were paying off; she was down twenty-five pounds with only five stubborn pounds left to meet her goal. She checked the time. She had the time to do another lap around and thought about trying to push through it. However, the sight of Declan sitting on a bench at the end of the path stopped her in her tracks.
What’s he doing here?
She walked slowly toward him. His head was bowed, looking at his phone. When he looked up and saw her, his smile widened. He stood and began walking to her.
“What are you doing here?”
“I wanted to see you. I think we should talk.”
“How did you know where to find me?”
“Autumn.”
“Oh.”
They stared at each other for what felt like hours. Declan held her hand, closing the distance between them until she felt his arms wrap around her waist, holding her in a loose, comfortable embrace. Taylyn rested her hands on his chest. She could feel the heat of his body through his thin tee shirt. He leaned in, and his soft lips touched hers. She gave in to her desire and began kissing him right there, at the entryway to the river park. She didn’t care who saw them, she just kissed him like she had wanted to that morning at her apartment. The kiss slowed to a stop, and neither she nor Declan made a move to separate.
“I’ve been waiting for that kiss all day,” he said a hint was wistfulness in his voice.
“Me too.”
Taylyn saw the surprise in his eyes and laughed just a little. What was he doing to her? He was making her feel things she didn’t want to. He was making her think that maybe this time it could work. That maybe he was the one she’d been waiting for. The one to make her forget all the guys that hurt her. The one to make her feel she was loved. Wanted. He was making her feel all the things she’d buried away months ago. The question was, could she allow herself to try again? Could she take the risk? What would it cost her if she was wrong?
Everything.
“Come on, let's take a walk, baby.”
Butterflies filled her stomach with that one word. Baby. He’d called her baby again, and she didn’t correct him. She wanted to pretend, for now, that she was his baby. She felt another brick fall away from that wall she had built around her heart. Declan kept knocking them down left and right; soon there’d be no wall left. That sent a rush of panic through her. She needed that wall. How was she going to keep her heart protected from all the pain?
His hand held hers as they started down the small dirt path that led to the fishing holes along the riverbank. She didn’t want to admit, even to herself, that this felt right. It felt as if they had done this a thousand times, like it was routine, expected. Why did he have to make her feel so good, so safe? She ought to be running in the opposite direction, far away from him and the feeling of hope he gave her. She couldn’t let herself fall again. She may not recover this time.
They remained silent as they walked the narrow path. Declan veered off the path to a bench overlooking the water under the shade of large oak trees. They sat and watched as a
group of kayakers floated by. Ten minutes passed and neither said a word. Declan cleared his throat and turned his body a little to face her.
“What happened to you, Tay?”
“Life.”
“Care to elaborate? What exactly about life?” He clasped her hand, holding it in a light grip.
No, she didn’t want to elaborate. Taylyn let go of his hand. She didn’t want to think about it. She has spent the better part of the last few years trying to forget. Sadly, she never could. The memories haunted her day and night. It was a constant battle to not give up and just let go. To say goodbye to this life and hope for a better afterlife. She surely deserved it for all the shit she’d had thrown at her in this life. She unconsciously ran her finger over the long scar that crossed her wrist.
Something Real Page 7