Every Day I Loved You

by Robin Edwards

  “Sorry, I’ll get you some more.” Liam blushed before handing the nearly empty pint over. “If you’re free, I figured we’d go see a film at the old cinema, yeah?”

  “Sure, I’d love to go. Boy, I haven’t been there in years. In fact, I haven’t been to the movies in a long time.”

  “You haven’t been to the cinema?”

  “I haven’t been in a few years. It wasn’t our thing to go and do.” I shook my head.

  “It was your favorite thing to do though.”

  I just shrugged because I didn’t know what to say. Liam knew that was my way of shutting down when I didn’t want to continue talking about something. I didn’t owe anyone including Liam any explanations about the relationship I had with Roger.

  “Alright, Mags, you’ve got to go get changed so we can go see Godzilla vs. Mothra and then grab some pizza and a real pint. I’m so excited, it’s going to be sick,” he said as he took the empty carton away from me and put it on my bedside table. He then pulled me up from the bed and gently shoved me toward my bathroom.

  There were no words for his humor as I shook my head and silently giggled to myself as Liam hopped back onto the bed and skimmed through one of the magazines I brought with me on the flight home.

  “Ahem, what are you doing?” I asked with a raised eyebrow.

  “What? I’m reading,” he said pretending to be so engrossed in whatever page he was looking at.

  “Reading? Sure you are, that’s an ad about swimsuits for women.” I rolled my eyes. “Look, mister, you better not still be here when I come back from the shower, jerking off and I’m not getting ready in front of you.”

  Liam shut the magazine and stood up from the bed, “No, you wouldn’t even dare.” he teased.

  “Alright, you pervert. Get on out of here.” I said as I shoved him out of the bedroom door.

  “I’ll be back to pick you up in about an hour, yeah?” he asked.

  I laughed, “What do you mean you’re going to pick me up? You know the theater is just down the street, and you do live right next door.”

  “That’s what I meant, don’t get your knickers all bunged up.”

  “I’ll meet you downstairs in an hour, Liam,” I emphasized.

  “Sure thing, hon.” Liam winked before descending down the stairs. “Wear something naughty for me.”

  “Liam, what is wrong with you?” I laughed.

  On my way to the bathroom, I passed by my wall length mirror only to notice my flushed cheeks. It felt great to have Liam here just like old times. I always felt comfortable and safe whenever he was around and he always had this amazing talent in making me laugh at the corniest and sleaziest things. I was definitely glad to have my buddy back. I really missed him a lot.

  TWO

  December 31st (part 2) –

  Hey Journal,

  You’ll notice that I have yet to give you an official name and while I considered it at length, in the end, I decided that was a moronic thing to do.

  You’ll notice that I’m writing in you twice today, such a shocker huh? Yeah, it surprised me too. I don’t know why. I guess I just wanted to say that it was great seeing Liam today. I was glad he decided to stop by after not seeing each other for a few years. When I was showering earlier, I realized he made me forget for a little while and during that brief period I wasn’t reminded of what happened to me. It was great you know?

  That’s all I wanted to say. We’re heading out to see an old Godzilla movie and grab some pizza afterward like we used to back in high school.

  -Margaret K.

  After a much needed shower, I rummaged through my luggage to find my tattered, jean jacket that always brought me comfort. I paired it up with a simple, white top and my stretchy black pants followed by a pair of converse sneakers. I had to reapply my makeup and figure out what to do about my frizzy, brown hair that had a mind of its own. It never cooperated with me unless I had a flat iron on hand but Liam was such a stickler for not missing any previews.

  After doing a final makeup, hair, breath, teeth and outfit check – I grabbed my purse and headed downstairs because Liam didn’t come up to my room to check up on me even though I told him that I would meet him downstairs. Actually listening to me was a new trait Liam must have developed because he was never known for considering what others wanted.

  He was a wild and dorky free spirit that was so oblivious to everything, he just did and said whatever came to him at that moment, often offending other people in the process especially the football players.

  I grabbed my purse and checked downstairs because he hadn’t come up to my room, “Mom, have you seen…?” I started to ask.

  As I came downstairs, I caught sight of Liam hunched over the dining room table with my dad, Jack, discussing their next fishing trip. A trip, I might add, I was only invited to once.

  “So, I figured we’d check out this river over here, tent up and try out the new bait I picked up today,” Jack said as he slapped Liam on the back.

  “It sounds brilliant, sir. I’m looking forward to testing it as well.”

  “Dad, how many times do I have to tell you? Stop trying to trick Liam into going fishing with you.” I rolled my eyes as I hopped down the rest of the stairs.

  “Honey, I am not convincing anyone. Liam wants to go, unlike someone in this room.”

  “You know damn well I don’t like touching fish that are alive.” I crossed my arms and frowned.

  “It’s not so bad, Mags. They aren’t going to bite you, hard.” Liam chuckled, referencing the only time I went with them.

  Every chance my dad and Liam had, they always retold the story of me screaming my head off because one of the fish bit me when I caught it. I was so freaked out I threw the fish back into the water. Needless to say, I didn’t try to catch any others after that.

  “Oh, hush,” I said as I shoved him playfully.

  “Ready to go?” he asked.

  “Yeah, I’m all set. I’ve got everything I need for tonight.”

  “Where are you two crazy kids off to?” Jack asked.

  “Dad, I’m not a kid anymore. We’re just going to the old theatre house down the street. Come on, let’s go, Liam, before this turns into the Spanish Inquisition.” I rolled my eyes again as I opened the front door.

  “Oh, Liam…aren't you forgetting something?”

  “No, sir,” Liam answered patting his slacks and jacket for his wallet.

  “I meant to have her home by one a.m.,” Jack corrected him.

  “Jeez, come on. I haven’t had a curfew since I was seventeen.” I shook my head as Liam and Jack laughed.

  “He cares about your safety that’s all,” Liam remarked as he shut the front door.

  “I get that but he’s forgetting that I’m not a little girl and this isn’t a date or anything like that so he has no need to be worried.” I exhaled.

  “Hey, that looks like the jacket I gave you,” Liam said suddenly as he had me twirl around so he could check it out.

  “No, I don’t think so. I love this jacket but I don’t think you gave it to me.”

  “I bet I did. I distinctly remember giving you one that looks just like it.” Liam pulled out the tag stitched into the collar. “Yep, it’s mine. Names right here. Mum put my name on all of my clothes, remember?”

  “Oh yeah, I forgot. She used to stitch your name on all of your clothes and underwear, right?” I asked.

  “Yep, she definitely did that.”

  “Anyway, when did you give this jacket to me?” I asked.

  “We were heading to the cinema on a Friday and it was hammering. You were wearing a white shirt because you didn’t bring a pullover or jacket again so I lent you mine. You just never gave it back, is all.” he recalled.

  “Oh, I’m sorry. Did you want it back?” I said slipping out of the sleeves.

  “No, keep it. I don’t need it anymore, besides it looks good on you. Everything always looked good on you.” Liam said as he tugged on the lap
els of the jean jacket. “I also don’t want you to catch a cold. You are of no use to me when you are ill.”

  “Gee, thanks Liam. Way to kill a compliment.” I rolled my eyes.

  “I do what I can.” he grinned.

  “You look good too, you know. You look so different without your glasses, your dorky hats and your long curls. Oh my gosh, you have a beard now!” I cooed, my hand caressing his face.

  “I grew up,” Liam whispered before he grew quiet as I checked out how much he changed physically. He was definitely not the same Liam I remembered.

  “I see that.” I agreed as I leaned in to sniff his cologne. “You smell good too. What is that?”

  “Ah, it’s…Creed’s Green Irish Tweed.” Liam cleared his throat.

  “It smells nice on you, kind of like grass after a rainstorm or like a grassy hillside in the early morning.” I smiled. Liam made no attempt at responding so I continued, “I feel bad about keeping your jacket all of these years when you were probably looking for it this entire time.”

  “Don’t worry about it, Mags. If I really wanted it back, I would have asked for it.”

  “Yeah, you probably would have.” I laughed as I checked out the rest of his outfit.

  Liam improved on his style more since we last saw each other with his khaki colored jacket, black t-shirt, black slacks, a pair of Ray Bans and a nice watch to match. He looked amazing in it and almost too cool to be seen with someone like me, or rather the old me. With the way Liam looked now, he would have been more popular than he was starting to be when we graduated.

  His improvement in style was nothing new to me because his gradual changes took place over the summer before our last year of high school. Liam, his younger brother Oliver and his parents spent the summer at their grandparents’ house in the UK.

  I had to spend the entire summer without him and at first, I thought it was going to be a long, dreadful three months until I got a part-time job working as a Barista at Drip, the new coffee house near campus which was also where I met Roger for the first time.

  During one particular slow-moving Saturday I was working at Drip to cover a shift for one of my coworkers who called in sick and since I had nothing to do that summer and figured I could use the extra money since Liam and I had planned to go to Europe together, that’s if our parents let us.

  The other option was to just save up the money for a new car when I got my license because Liam was thinking long and hard about joining the Peace Corps and it was something he really wanted to do but wasn’t going to do it without me. It wasn’t really my kind of thing but as long as I was with Liam, I knew I would have a good time.

  On that particular Saturday, I was making a Caramel Macchiato and in walked Roger and his cousin Corey whom I knew from school. I didn’t really think anything of Roger at first because I knew he was a college guy and we all knew what college guys were supposedly like and they had never taken me seriously unless I was willing to put out.

  That all changed when Corey and Roger walked up to the counter and instead of teasing me like I assumed they would, Corey was indifferent (which was an improvement) and Roger seemed more interested in getting to know me than ordering his Frappuccino.

  That’s how it all started but things didn’t progress as quickly as one would think. Roger and I would text occasionally and whenever he was in town he would take me out to do something simple like see a movie.

  When Liam came back from visiting his grandparents the week before school started, I didn’t recognize him at first in new attire. On the first day of school, he came in a slim fit button-down short sleeve shirt, khaki colored chino pants and matching penny loafers.

  I had to admit, he looked damn good and at first, I was worried but he assured me that his parents gave him and his brother long overdue birthday presents that included clothes and gift cards from pretentious stores that carried nothing but preppy attire. I was grateful that he still had his sense of humor and awkward way about him.

  “Come on, let’s get a move on or we’ll miss the previews,” Liam said pulling me out of my daydream.

  “Yeah, I know how much you love those.” I laughed.

  It took us about fifteen minutes to walk to the old, weathered building where you could still see old movies for three bucks a pop. After Liam paid for our tickets at the box office, we headed to the concession stand to pick up a bucket of popcorn, a large soda and a box of malted milk balls to share.

  The room that played the 8:00 pm showing of Godzilla vs. Mothra had no more than a dozen people sitting inside waiting for the film to start. Liam and I picked our favorite seats: 10th row center. We selected those seats no matter which room, movie or theater we were at because, after an all-night debate about the best seats in a movie theatre, we both came to an agreement that it was 10th row center and hadn’t sat anywhere else since.

  Our reasoning was because it was neither too close, too far and the center had the best acoustics. If we wanted the best movie watching experience, we had to sit there. Fortunately for us, the seats were available, and since no one was sitting in the seats in front of us, we were able to kick our feet up.

  “I really love these, they remind me of Maltesers back home, but different,” Liam remarked as he ate the box of malted milk balls.

  “They are good aren’t they?” I agreed, grabbing a couple as the previews began to play.

  “Oh, it’s starting,” Liam announced excitedly. Then he grabbed the soda that sat between us and put it on the other side of him. Once he did, he lifted up the armrest and put his arm around my shoulder, pulling me closer to him before reaching for the popcorn in the bucket sitting on my lap.

  “This is my favorite one,” he whispered in my ear before reaching for more popcorn.

  “Yeah, mine too. Actually, I like all of them.”

  “Yeah, me too.” Liam agreed absentmindedly. He was already mesmerized by the action sequence on the screen.

  Going to the theatre and watching old movies there, was more of Liam’s favorite thing to do than mine when we hung out together in high school. Every Friday afternoon, right when the school bell rang to go home for the weekend, we would dash to our bikes until Liam got his driver’s license and pedaled straight to the theatre to catch whatever was playing at the time.

  Sharing a bucket of popcorn, soda and a box of malted milk balls watching old movies no one cared about anymore, but Liam still did. So, it became our thing to do and I loved doing it with him as long as he did too.

  THREE

  “Did you catch the part where Mothra surprised Godzilla and then attacked him? That was sick.” Liam rambled excitedly as we walked down 3rd street in the direction of our houses. It was just a little after eleven, and we were stuffed, our stomachs full of pepperoni pizza slices and a shared pint of beer.

  “Yeah, that was awesome wasn’t it?” I laughed. It was kind of cute seeing Liam excited about the movie as if he had just seen it for the first time. “I had fun today, thank you for inviting me.”

  “Did you? Then we’ve got to do that again. How about next week? They’re going to play Chaplin’s, Gold Rush. We’ve got to see it, yeah?” his green eyes twinkled with excitement.

  “Sure, why not.” I shrugged.

  “Brilliant!” he said excitedly before draping his arm around my shoulder.

  “Seriously, though, I wanted to say thank you for taking me out. This was fun, I’ve forgotten how much I missed doing things like this or just going to the movies in general. I didn’t realize how much I took something as simple as going to the movies for granted.” I contemplated.

  “You are definitely welcome. If you said to me, Liam, I want to see a film every single day and not just on Friday’s with you, I’d do it forever.”

  Forever.

  I don’t know why out of everything he said tonight, that one word caught my attention the most. I think it was because when it came to his future, he still considered me a part of it but when I left town, I was co
mpletely willing to let him go.

  Liam pulled me closer as we walked down the empty streets of my old neighborhood, “Something on your mind, Mags?”

  “Me? I wasn’t thinking anything.” I lied.

  “You got quiet because your mind just went completely blank all of a sudden. Is that it? Come on, get off it. What is that pretty, little head of yours thinking about?”

  “It’s true, I wasn’t really thinking anything.”

  “I know you better than you think I do. Tell me what’s the matter and I’ll fix it for you.” he stopped walking and looked directly at me. Liam lifted my chin up so that I couldn’t look away, I had to face him.

  Liam was no stranger to openness, being himself and being honest always even if it offended someone else was a must for him. He didn’t believe in having secrets and if anything was weighing on his mind, he always wanted to get it out in the open and talk about it.

  He also never apologized for being the way he was because he didn’t like when things festered and preferred to talk about everything so that he could move on from whatever it was and get back to being silly and having fun. Things like this, however, being open and honest about feelings made me uncomfortable.

  I hated when he would use noogies to get me to talk about whatever I was thinking or feeling at the time but he didn’t need to noogie me anymore. With the way he looked at me right then, I would have almost admitted to anything.

  “Seriously, I wasn’t thinking anything.” I lied again.

  Liam didn’t say a word but continued to look at me, his eyes searching mine, deciding whether or not I was lying or if he misjudged my silence as something more. It was almost as if he wanted to find some shred of evidence in my eyes that would tell him that he still knew me.

  What he didn’t realize was that as fun as it was to spend time with him again like the old days, I was no longer the Maggie he once knew. I moved on from this Podunk town and as sad as it was to say, we weren’t really best friends anymore and I wasn’t planning on staying here forever. Being back home was always meant to be temporary and once I figured out a plan, I was going to take off again.