by Leen Elle
"What?! No, no, Jennifer!" Jasmine cried, half way out the door.
"Hey, hey! Nothing happens, we share a bed and that's it. He's already gone by the time I wake up." I tried to reassure her.
"I'm not going sleep beside a complete stranger!" She cried.
"Listen! Just make sure you or him go to bed first, once one of you is asleep, it's easier to deal with the fact that you have to sleep next to him." I told her with a shrug. Jasmine remained unconvinced.
"Can't I just share the room with Jaime?" She asked.
"Why?" I asked with disgust. The mere idea of sleeping next to the brat was more revolting than sharing a bed with James.
"I don't want to sleep next to James, I just can't." She said, her body shaking slightly. I finally realized that it was going to take a lot of time for Aaron and James to get used us. Aaron will come home greeting a fiery heathen, and James will come home greeting a heavenly angel.
I gently placed my hands on her shoulder. "Who are we doing this for?" I asked.
"Jade…" She replied.
"Who's going to pay?" I asked.
"Aaron…"
"Good, now, trivial things like these you have to overcome. Think of your daughter, think of a life of freedom; Aaron is in the way of all that." I told her firmly.
She nodded slightly. "Yes…"
"Now, let's go, we have to get ready for the switch."
Chapter 5: The Switch
Jasmine
I fidgeted nervously. I hadn't touched my food, as anxious as I was, I wouldn't be able to hold anything down. Jennifer, on the other hand, seemed perfectly okay with the whole thing. She was enjoying her cheesecake whole-heartedly, like it was any other normal day out. I couldn't understand her.
"Doesn't the fact that you are moving in with a stranger bother you?" I asked. Jennifer's green flashed mischievously.
"No." She replied, taking another bite of her cake. I sighed and looked around the small diner. What if something went wrong? I couldn't let my insecurities get the best of me, no, not now. The outcome would be drastic. If Aaron found out, he would take Jade away from me for sure.
Why couldn't be more like Jennifer? Why couldn't I defend myself properly, all these years, Aaron has been bullying me, controlling me. I wish I could just break free and move on with my life, but Aaron would be right behind me, like a shadow, waiting to grasp my throat at any given moment. I've grown to fear him, fear everything about him. If he could, Aaron could make me disappear, and I mean really disappear.
I was such a sorry excuse.
"Remember, you have to be home in the evenings. If Aaron sees that you leave instead of working in the mornings, he'll become suspicious and follow you. Go to work in the morning, reschedule your working hours." I told her. She waved her fork in the air.
"Yeah, yeah. So, you'll be working during the day?" She asked.
I have to. I'm needed at the animal clinic during the day." I explained.
"It won't matter, James won't care." Jennifer shrugged. I grew even more nervous.
When we finished with lunch, Jennifer led me to her black Camry. She put her arm around me and gave me a tight squeeze, the ones she would give me when we were little whenever thunderstorms hit our small Texas town all those years ago.
"Listen, you leave everything to me. All you have to do is fill in for me until I get done. One month, hopefully sooner." She told me.
"If not?" I asked softly. She gave me a deep look. It's weird, we looked exactly alike, yet, our personalities are way different. Yin and Yang in a way.
"Well, we'll have to live with it, won't we? If I fail, I'll find you a safe place to go with you and Jade." She reassured me. "I promise."
I gave her a hug. "I'll call you."
She nodded and placed her car keys in my hand; I gave her mine. I awkwardly got in her car, turned it on, and I pulled down the window.
"Like I said, just stay out of James' way. He shouldn't bug you much." Jennifer said.
"Okay, I'll talk to you later." I told her.
"Good luck, sis." I pulled out from the parking lot and looked back at my sister through the mirror. I saw her heading towards my car and drive in the opposite direction.
The switch was made.
* * *
I just sat in the car for about half an hour, debating on going inside or not. Eventually I had to go in, I had to quickly put all of my clothes into place. There was absolutely no way I was going to wear Jennifer's ghastly clothing. I rubbed my hands together to stop them from shaking. After fifteen more minutes, I finally got the guts to get out of the shelter of my sister's car. I looked around to see if people were around, quickly took out my suitcase, and dashed inside the house.
I sighed out loud. I was relieved for a moment, then I grew paranoid again.
"What now?" I asked out loud to myself. Well, Jasmine, you could go upstairs and put your clothes up. Yeah, that would be a good idea. I made my way up to the room I was going to share with James Miles.
"I'm out of my mind." I said as I discarded all of Jennifer's clothes and put them in the suitcase I brought. I hid the suitcase underneath all the junk in the guest room. I filled the closet back up with my belongings, placed all of Jennifer's things that she didn't take with her in a box. I replaced everything in the room with my stuff.
When I was done, I proceeded to dust the drawers, make the beds, pick up clothes from the floor, sweep the hallways clean, scrub the floors, vacuum the carpets, clean the kitchen counters, start a load of laundry, and rearrange the living room so the sun can hit everything just right and make it look more pleasant.
I sighed with exhaustion as I plumped down on the living room couch. I took hold of a book from my purse; Pride and Prejudice, a personal favorite of mine. I got through a quarter of the book when I heard the front door open.
"What do you want today for dinner, Jaime? There's some frozen pizza I can heat up in the oven." I heard a man's voice. My heart went through the roof. Oh heavens! They're home! I sat petrified on the couch.
"Are there any chicken nuggets, daddy?" A soft voice asked. I watched as the pair entered the living room and stopped at the sight of me. Well, no, they noticed the room, then they noticed me sitting there like an idiot. James' surprise was quickly overcome with suspicion and annoyance.
"Usually you're gone by the time we get home." He said a little harshly. I flinched, it was Aaron all over again. I stood up awkwardly.
"Well my schedule got changed and I work during the days now. I decided to spruce up a few things; I did a lot of cleaning today." I explained, smiling sheepishly. I saw Jaime duck behind his father's legs and I noticed how much they looked alike.
"I don't know what you're trying to pull, but I suggest you cut it out." He threatened. I was taken aback by his sharp tone, I almost couldn't speak.
"I wasn't doing anything wrong, James." I said, the fear thick on my voice as well as clear on my face. James seemed to be caught a little off guard, and it seemed to me that he was struggling to say something until he nodded to my book.
"What are you reading?" He snapped, clearly not knowing what to say. I lifted the cover so he could see.
"Pride and Prejudice. It's a good book, but being an English teacher and all, you probably know like the back of your hand, huh?" I asked nervously, trying to break the tension. His blue eyes were piercing and I ducked away from him, my cheeks flaming.
"I-I could make something if you want, maybe spaghetti? Homemade bread sticks are my specialty. Hi Jamie, how was school, sweetie?" I asked as I passed him to go to the kitchen. I got out pots and pans, took out tomatoes, garlic, and onions. I took out some flour for bread sticks, it wouldn't take long to make. Once I got to cooking, everything else left my mind, all of my anxieties.
"Can you cut up the onions and tomatoes?" I asked James, placing them in his hands and pulling him into the kitchen. I went to Jaime and slightly pushed him towards the stairs. "Go upstairs and wash your face, love, your hands,
too. Do you have homework?" I asked him.
Jaime went pale.
"Not that there's anything wrong with having homework." I asked hastily. Jaime dashed up stairs.
"Don't take long!" I called. Jaime seemed very sweet, how could Jennifer not love someone as precious as him.
James was staring at me with an odd expression. "James, really, I thought you were already cutting them. Never mind, I'll do it." I took them from him.
"Did you fall off of a building or something?" He managed to ask. I looked up him. Oh! Right, I'm not acting like Jennifer.
"Er…what do you care?" I tried to sound mean, but it came out all wrong. I sighed. "Listen, I don't want to fight, okay?" I went back to my cooking.
"What's wrong with you today? You better not be doing something behind my back, I won't look like some dumb ass bastard." He growled.
"Hush quiet, please! No need for such vulgarities, Jaime is right upstairs." I said in a disapproving tone. James opened his mouth, but he didn't say any more.
"Jaime, come hither! You need to do your homework!" I called.
"Since when did you start talking like that?" He asked.
"Talk like what? Am I doing something wrong?" I asked. He gestured towards me.
"Yes! You're whole attitude today is off, everything is off! Cut it out, you're pissing me off!" He yelled angrily.
Oh shoot! I knew it, I knew it wouldn't work! Jennifer was wrong, I'm going to be found out and everything is going to fall down in ruin. What would James do? Will he kick me out? Divorce Jennifer? Oh, I don't want to go back to Aaron; he'll break me for sure! No, no, why is my life so torn apart? Why can't I be at peace with my daughter? Sometimes I wish I could just go home, go anywhere new. I'm at my breaking point…
I turned away quickly, trying hard to hide my tears. I went back to cutting, trying to seem normal enough. I didn't say anything, but I could still feel him standing behind me, I could feel the tension, the hate. It was suffocating me, and my tears spilled over. I couldn't help it, I sniffed.
"Are you crying?" He asked, mildly surprised, but not enough to make his anger subside. "If you think you'll win me over with your damn crocodile tears, forget-"
"I'm not…I apologize." I whispered; it was all I had to say. I was to frustrated and hurt to pay attention to what I was doing. My hands were shaking uncontrollably, making the tomato slices come out misshapen and jagged. The knife finally slipped and cut my index finger. I was impervious to the pain, it was nothing compared to the growing pain in my heart. Nothing would be able to help me heal again, too many things have happened, unfair things. I wasn't going to find shelter in love again, only in love I have for my daughter. I fell stupidly for a man who ruined my life, I'll make sure to never do it again. I'm counting on Jennifer to free me, to free Jade so we can finally start over. However, the image of Aaron's face flooded my head, sneering at me, humiliating me. He wouldn't stop until I was finally unable to stand on my own too feet. The fear was agonizing; I dropped the knife and just sobbed, sobbed for my pathetic, low-life self.
"Why is my life falling apart?" I cried. I barely got here and already I'm blowing my cover. Blood and tears mixed into the sink. James didn't say anything. I cried like a child, wishing I could turn back time and cuddle against my mother's breast again.
I felt him touch my hand. "Here let's look at that cut, you're getting blood everywhere…"
"I'm sorry." I choked. I sat silently, staring at the kitchen floor as James cleaned my cut. I winced.
"The house looks nice…ah, on Pride and Prejudice, where are you right now?" He asked, not looking at me. I realized he was trying to make conversation as awkward as it was.
"Oh, ah, not far. I've gotten to the part where Jane gets sick on her way to visit the Binglys." He looked surprised.
"You really are reading it?" He asked. I stared at him in bewilderment.
"Yes, didn't you think so?" I asked. He gave me a weird look.
"I thought you were coming up with new ways to mock me." He said.
"James, why on earth would I mock you?" I asked. Almost immediately I wish I could take the words back. James gave me a hateful dark look.
"You still have the audacity to ask me? How about marrying me for my money? How about neglecting my son, or humiliating me very chance you get? I don't know if you hit your head and became crazy, but nothing will make up for the hell I have to put up with because of you; I hate you!" He yelled.
I sobbed again. "I can't help it! I can't help being who I am!" I can't help being weak, being unconfident and shy. "Don't you understand I can't live up to your expectations!" Aaron, why don't you just accept me? Why couldn't you love me, even if it was just a little? "I was never wanted…" Dad, why didn't you love me?
"I never was the strong one…" I whispered. I looked up at James who looked so confused, it would have made me laugh if I could.
"I'm so sorry for my existing…" I said softly, my head drooped.
"Why do you keep apologizing?" He asked, not really knowing if he should be angry or not.
"I always felt I was annoying, extra baggage; being hauled around, being hated. Mother said it wasn't my fault." I said, staring at the floor. I remembered Texas, the tragedy that happened there. "It was my fault, Dad hated me ever since. I just want to start over…is it too much to ask?" I asked him, looking into his eyes; more tears fell from my face.
"Jennifer, you should go lay down…" James suggested. I wordlessly got up from the couch. I slowly walked to the stairs right when Jaime came down.
"Good night, love." I said and kissed him on the forehead. "Don't sleep late." I called to him. Such a sweet boy. A nap, a nap would fix things.
* * *
When I woke up, it was already really late. I rolled over and froze, momentarily forgetting about James. However, James wasn't in bed. I left the room and went to check on Jaime. I found him sound asleep; I gently started to stroke his hair.
"If Jennifer won't love you, I will." I whispered. He shifted slightly and I smiled. I kissed his head and turned to leave and came face to face with James.
"Oh! You gave me a fright!" I cried. I heard Jaime stir, but didn't get up.
"I gave you a fright?" He asked. I closed the door softly behind me.
"Yes, I didn't see you." I said, going downstairs. He followed me.
"We finished dinner." James explained as we entered the kitchen.
"Sorry you had to do it yourself. In fact, I'm sorry for everything today." I told him.
"Er…let's not talk about it…" He said, sitting at the counter where many papers were spread everywhere. I took a second glance and saw he was grading student essays.
"How long do you usually stay up?" I asked. It was an innocent question.
"Late." He replied, not looking at me.
"Um…what did your students write about?" I dared myself to ask.
"Different themes in The Scarlet Letter."
"The Scarlet Letter? I loved that book! I did a critical analysis essay over it in college. I got an 'A', I was highly proud of myself." I told him as I sat down. I took one of his red pens.
"Hester Prynne was amazing, she was very forgiving, and let me tell you, it's not always easy forgiving one for their terrible actions." I remembered Jennifer and Aaron, they were probably having a heated argument; Jennifer hated to be put into place. "You picked a good topic for an essay. Theme, I like to tell what the theme of the story was in just one sentence." I told him, as I marked grammar errors on a paper.
"I believe theme can be described in one word, like guilt, hypocrisy, injustice, judgment, or truth." James said. I looked up at him.
"No! That doesn't capture the whole theme at all! Your way is faulty." I shook my head.
"I disagree." He said, looking up. I finished with one paper.
"Ok, let's say there's a story about a horrible man who looses everything. He goes through a life-changing experience and learns to love again. Honestly, a sentence is needed to descri
be the theme to a story like that." I replied as I started to grade another paper.
"No, a sentence wouldn't be needed." He said.
"Oh, really? What would you describe it as, if I may be so bold to ask?"
"Redemption." He shrugged.
I laughed and I noticed him give a smile.
"Ok." I said, getting ready for a heated debate. "To Kill a Mockingbird."
"Oh boy…" He said, smiling slightly and sitting up.