by Marc Jedel
Ouch. “I really am a software engineer for a startup, the Rover car service. I graduated from Stanford. I’m also an uncle to two wonderful, bright girls that are staying with me while Laney’s in the hospital. You already figured out that I’m terrible at being a private investigator.” This didn’t seem like the right time to bring up two kids and an ex-wife. Otherwise, I’d covered all the major bases.
“Well, maybe more crazy than terrible.” Meghan’s smile faded as she put her elbows on the table and leaned forward. “Look, I can see you’re serious about trying to help Laney. I guess I could tell you what happened. But only because of Laney. She was the only one who would help me. You promise not to tell anyone else about this? I mean no one.”
“Yes, I promise. No one else. Thank you.” I breathed a sigh of relief. I’d have to thank Brody for his help, however inadvertent.
“Ok. If I lose this job, I won’t be able to keep my apartment.” Meghan took a deep breath. “Those bastards are trying to get me to sign off on their project without finishing the work. After I told the project lead ‘no’ a few times, they tried to intimidate me. Someone went through all my folders on my desk. They’ve called me names and yelled at me to sign off on the project and get out. Once, one of the security guys got on an elevator alone with me, squeezed in close and started asking me when I was going to finish and leave the agency.”
This time my eyes grew wide. “That’s nuts.”
“That’s not the half of it.” Meghan’s voice took on a more strident tone. “After that, I found dead rats by my car and then dog shit was smeared on my door handle and left there, on the ground. My car was parked in the lot in front of the building. I complained to my boss. You know what he did?”
“No.” I started to feel queasy and a bit unnerved.
“He told me since I was unhappy it would be best if I’d go ahead and sign off on the project. He’d finish and submit it to the state while I took paid time off for the next three months on them.”
“He tried to bribe you? You’re kidding?”
“No. I was pissed. I didn’t want to put my license on the line without doing the work. When I turned him down, he turned cold and told me not to bring my computer or any files out of the office. Can you believe that crap?” Meghan flushed again, this time with indignation.
“Unbelievable. So, that’s when you called the HR helpline and met Laney?”
“Yes. I finally had enough.” She rubbed her chin. “Maybe the drone crash was part of threatening Laney?” Her forehead creased. “But for the life of me, I don’t know why. Laney doesn’t know anything specific about my work. We’d only had one short meeting. I told her pretty much what I’ve told you and showed her pictures of what they did to my car and desk.”
She took a sip of her tea.
This didn’t make much sense. Only crazy people would think that public water agency employees would threaten Laney’s life, or Meghan’s. That had to go against their union rules. I sipped my whatever-it-was.
Mmm. I resolved to drink more tea at work. Healthy antioxidants and all that. I took another sip of the sweet caramel drink.
“So, what’s next?” asked Meghan.
“I don’t know. I think I’ll call the cop who was looking into Laney’s accident again.”
Meghan’s expression hardened. “You promised not to say anything.”
“I won’t, I won’t.” I tried to reassure her that I’d keep my promise. “Hopefully, he’s made progress. I’ve left him a bunch of messages already.” I focused on Meghan. “What about you? Are you going back to work at the agency?”
“I think so.” She hesitated. “I won’t stay late tonight and I’m only riding the elevator if no security goons are nearby. Anyway, I’ve been thinking of calling in sick tomorrow. I’ve got a busy weekend to get ready for.”
“What’s going on this weekend?” It was none of my business. I wanted to know anyway. My earlier commitment to consider Meghan a suspect had fallen by the wayside.
She paused, her cheeks flushing, and then plunged ahead. “I’m into Renaissance Faires. You know those events where people dress up and pretend it’s the sixteenth century with food, drink, crafts and entertainment?”
“Sure. I’ve seen the ads, although I’ve never been to one. Do you volunteer there?”
Her whole face blushed. “I, um, well, I’m part of the entertainment. I used to be in plays in high school and college. I started going to Faires and got involved setting up plays on weekends.” Her hands fiddled with her cup. “Eventually, I got dragged into trying out. Now I’m usually in a few plays every season. I signed up for some this year. With my new project, it’s been tough to learn my lines and have time for practices.”
I smiled. Not exactly the introverted environmental scientist that I’d presumed. “What are you playing now?”
“I’m Bianca in ‘Taming of the Shrew’ on Saturday night.”
I glanced at the ceiling as my memory for odd trivia kicked in. This, along with the ability to recall most everything I read, had helped me succeed in engineering school. It also came in handy for winning bets. “Isn’t that one of the main roles? The younger sister, if I remember correctly?”
She ran her hand through her hair. “That’s very good. Most people have heard of the play and some know it’s by Shakespeare. How did you remember the character?”
“Well …” This time it was my turn to blush. “Ok, I dated a girl in high school who was into theater and she acted in that play.”
Her eyes twinkled. “At least you were paying attention. I don’t think any of my high school boyfriends paid much attention to what I did in school.”
Lifting my cup to take another sip, I discovered it was empty. How did that happen?
Meghan noticed and glanced at her watch. “I should get going.” She hesitated and then continued, “Hey, I’m sorry about Laney. But, I don’t see how her accident had anything to do with me. I think it was a coincidence that she was going to meet me for lunch on Monday.”
My shoulders slumped. “I suppose you’re right. I’d hoped there might be a connection and I could figure out what was going on.” Although I’d enjoyed meeting Meghan, I hadn’t made any headway for Laney.
“It was nice meeting you.” Meghan gathered her things. “I hope Laney gets well soon. Give her my best.”
I stood as well. “Thanks. Nice meeting you too.” Not knowing what else to do, I shook Meghan’s hand. Meghan walked out of the Starbucks to her car.
I stayed back to signal for a Rover car. Maybe I’d go see a play on Saturday.
Brody walked up to me while I waited. “Dude, she’s way better looking than that guy you brought here yesterday. Having coffee with her will make every day a beautiful day, fer sure.”
Maybe a beautiful day, yet I was no closer to figuring out what was going on. I’d met “ME” and learned that she was good looking, liked tea and acted part-time. Nothing that helped Laney’s case.
15
Thursday Late Morning
While I waited, I called Mace to give him the update on Meghan and see if he’d made any progress after all my helpful voicemails.
“Hello,” came the deep, calm voice of Sergeant Mace Jackson.
Surprised to catch him live, my voice cracked. “Hi,” I croaked. I cleared my throat. “This is Marty Golden, Laney Tran’s brother. I’ve left you some messages and wanted to see if you’ve made any progress with the investigation.”
“Oh yeah, you’re that guy.” Mace’s voice rasped. “What is your problem?”
“What do you mean? I’m just trying to help you figure out what happened to Laney.”
“You’re nuts. You’ve left me like four messages in two days, each crazier than the next.”
Five. I tried to explain. “Maybe, I, uh …”
Mace rolled on, “Look, she was in a car accident, not a rogue drone attack targeting her. The founder of DroneTech and the IRS are not out to get her.”
“But … I …”
He continued, “There are no South American drug lords after Laney. Or whatever other crazy conspiracy theories you might cook up next. You’ve got to stop wasting my time.”
I tried to explain again. “I … I’m just trying to help —”
Mace interrupted my bumbling, “You can help by leaving me alone. Go visit your sister and bother the doctors at the hospital.”
He hung up the phone before I could respond again. Not that my responses had been all that coherent so far. Good thing he didn’t seem to understand my message about impersonating an IRS agent. That one was best left unexplained.
I’d learned that Mace liked to fly solo, handling his action hero duties without a sidekick. He took his time to warm up to new partners. Good thing my status as his partner remained only a part of my imagination, so far. As I headed to work in the Rover car, I took the opportunity to update my kids.
GROUP TEXT TO AMANDA, ELI
MARTY: Found ‘ME’. You won’t believe it but her name is Meghan
ELI: Did she hurt Aunt Laney?
MARTY: I can’t imagine she did anything to Laney, but they worked together. Maybe there’s a connection
AMANDA: Wait, another Megan?
MARTY: with an ‘H’
ELI: What’s next?
MARTY: I don’t know
I plopped my stuff down in my office and let out a sigh. My work didn’t magically finish itself simply because I had to take care of the girls and help with Laney’s investigation. It was almost ten. Time for hyper-efficient coding man. Not my most impressive super-hero tagline, but I had a ton of work to catch up on before my lunch today with Daniel Pope at DroneTech. I pulled my keyboard closer and connected my computer to my screens.
Raj walked up. “Good morning. You are lucky you did not miss the mandatory HR training.”
“What training? It’s not on my calendar. I’m too busy for training today.” I panicked and started checking the calendars on my phone and computer.
“We received an email after nine from the boss. Did you not check your email for the last hour? This is mandatory training. It is about harassment in the workplace. We should go. It begins in two minutes.”
I groaned as I found the email. Even though our boss had forgotten to tell us until the last minute and he would miss it for an important meeting, he still expected all of us to attend.
Raj had remained calm through my temporary panic. He didn’t have nieces staying with him, requiring dinners and dream advice, or a sister in danger, lying in the hospital with her phone needing an emergency retina unlock, or an action movie hero cop depending on my assistance. Well, I didn’t have that last part either.
Raj interrupted my thoughts. “I do not understand this class. They are going to train us how to harass people at work?”
His question brought me back to reality. “No. They’re going to harass us for ninety minutes so they can say they trained us on how to avoid bothering other people in the office.” Snarkiness remained my go-to sentiment in the workplace.
As we walked to the room, Raj cocked his head to the side. “Do not American parents teach their children to be nice to others? That is what parents in India do.”
I had no answer as we walked into the largest conference room on our floor.
We took a seat around a large table. About twenty people had already crowded into a room that normally held twelve chairs. Our engineering team plus some of the finance and operations folks filled the rest of the chairs. Perhaps a quarter of the company had joined today’s class. Of course, no one from management attended. They needed no extra training in how to harass people at work.
A young woman I didn’t recognize with straight blond hair strode into the room with shoulders thrown back. She stood at the front of the room to catch everyone’s attention. Beaming at us, she spoke in a perky tone. “Good morning everyone. I’m so excited to be here today. My name is Emily and I’m the HR consultant for Rover. This morning I took my first Rover car ride to get here. It was so exciting.”
I hoped Emily didn’t consult for Rollag. I was curious to see what an HR consultant did as I’ve never seen Laney in action. Laney wouldn’t have been silly enough to describe a Rover car ride as exciting. Our cars drove conservatively on purpose to reduce the risk of accidents. Other drivers seemed to delight in darting around self-driving cars with dangerous, aggressive moves. Perhaps it’s some underlying aspect of human psychology that resists getting replaced by automation.
Emily continued, “Today’s training covers workplace harassment. Before we get started, I want us all to get to know each other. So, we’ll do a fun, icebreaker exercise.”
Raj looked puzzled.
I leaned over and whispered, “We’re not really going to break any ice. Just get everyone warmed up.”
“I understand. We break the ice so people get warm. Warm people talk more.” Raj winked. “And you think I speak funny?”
Cassandra, a saleswoman, raised her hand. Cassandra spoke so loudly on the phone that we could hear her sales calls from across the floor. Lucky for the whole office, she traveled often so she only disrupted us once in a while. Emily pointed at her.
“What do we get if we win?”
“It’s not a competition,” said Emily.
One of the finance women who I didn’t know raised her hand. Emily called on her.
“Since we all know everyone but you, wouldn’t it be more efficient if you just started the training?”
Emily’s smile wavered as she eyed the finance woman. “Let’s try this exercise. It’s an important part of the training.”
Emily turned back to the room. “Before we start the exercise, it’s important that we all consider ourselves part of a circle of trust. That means …”
Although she kept talking, I had stopped listening. Aha! I smiled to myself. I loved these “aha!” moments when the solution to one of the bugs in my code pops into my brain all of a sudden. I looked down at my phone to make a few notes before I forgot my idea. This could save me hours of time later if it worked.
At some point, it dawned on me that the room had gone quiet. Raj’s foot nudging mine further helped me recognize the change in the room. I glanced up and realized that everyone was looking at me. I’ve always hated getting called upon by the teacher. “I’m sorry. I got distracted.”
Emily’s smile seemed more forced now. She repeated her question. “Will you be able to agree that this is a safe place and whatever people say won’t leave this room?”
Now the thin chorus of agreement from the room that I’d heard earlier made sense. “Oh, yes, yes, sure, sure,” I agreed. Putting my phone down, I nodded my thanks to Raj. He raised his eyebrows and opened his mouth in mock horror at my transgression before smiling at me.
Emily clapped her hands in pleasure. “Good. Now, if everyone else could please put away your phones too, our icebreaker exercise is called ‘Two Truths and a Lie.’ I’ll call on people to tell us three things about themselves. Two of these should be truths and one should be a lie. Mix it up and don’t tell us which one is which, at first. Then, the rest of the group will try to guess which is the lie. You can say boring things, but it’s more fun if you have more outrageous statements.”
I hated these sorts of games. I could never think of anything to say that didn’t sound stupid or obvious. Desperately casting about for ideas, I tried to remember anything remotely interesting about myself. My brain went blank. Beyond my name, I had nothing. I might have remembered my name wrong.
Pausing to make sure everyone understood the game, Emily looked around the room. She gestured to one of the young engineers. “If you could go first. Tell us your name and then your three statements and we’ll try to guess which is the lie.” With a satisfied smile, Emily sat down.
The engineer didn’t pause a beat. Perhaps she had advance warning of what game we’d play. “Hi, I’m Suzy. I was part of a group that danced a jig at an Irish pub on St. Patrick’s
Day. I can burp the alphabet. And I’ve been in the studio audience to watch the filming of the TV show, Jeopardy.”
No one spoke after she finished. A chair squeaked as we waited and looked at each other. I wondered if Mace had arrested Rollag yet.
After a moment of silence, Emily jumped up and reminded us how the game worked. “Remember, you’re supposed to guess which one of those statements was a lie. Someone guess.” She dropped back down to her chair.
The finance woman I didn’t know said, “Burping is your lie. You told us about the jig and Jeopardy at the last monthly office birthday party.”
“Oh, that’s right, I did,” said Suzy with an embarrassed giggle.
Who knew we had monthly office birthday parties? When did this start? I can’t believe I’d missed cake every month and no one told me. This training had already proven more valuable than I’d expected. I needed to find out when the next cake party would take place.
Emily popped up from her chair, gave a broad smile and applauded Suzy. “That was great, Suzy. Thanks for starting us off. Okay, how about if you go next.” She pointed at Cassandra, the saleswoman. Emily lowered herself into her seat again.
Cassandra stood to deliver her sales pitch. “I’m Cassandra. Let’s see … how about … I have 59 rose bushes in my yard. I have 3 drawers of socks. And, I dance nude on stage.”
That last statement made the whole room pause. Then someone shouted, “The dancing part is the lie because she’s a numbers person and that’s the only one without a number.” Others murmured hopeful agreement because no one wanted to speculate about Cassandra’s naked dancing exploits.
Cassandra smirked as she realized everyone had succumbed. “Ha! I won! I tricked you all. My lie was the first sentence. I only have 42 rose bushes in my yard, not 59.” She turned to a neighbor to attempt a high five. The effort wasn’t reciprocated as the person shrank away from touching her. Cassandra didn’t seem to mind and settled for turning the abortive movement into a fist pump as she congratulated herself on her success.