“I have never been so scared when I knew it was you…I don’t know what happened it was like everything came together and I fell apart.”
“I am glad you are still here.”
“Me too. Did you have any back up during the fight?”
“No, it was just him and I.”
“A lone gun battle just like he wanted. You coming alone might have saved my life. If he had known there was more than one gunman, he might have thought about shooting me, but he was so sure he could take on my father.”
“That might explain his last words,” said Mitch.
“What did he say?”
“Nothing worth repeating.”
Grace almost laughed. “I am sure. He’s not worth repeating.” She looked up at Mitch making sure he was looking at her before she spoke. “Thank you for saving my life.”
A lump rose in his throat, but he smiled. “I am just glad that you are all right. Like any big brother would be.”
Grace brow clouded as she looked at him. “Do you have to be my brother? I already have one.”
“What would you want me to be then?” he asked, looking at her, his heart leaping inside of him.
“Could you be my friend?”
“I will gladly be your friend, Grace.”
With a smile on her face, Grace closed her eyes. She was still so tired. In a few minutes, Mitch knew Grace was sound asleep by her heavy steady breathing.
~~~~~
Four days passed, and Grace made steady progress towards recovery though it was slow and she had to take plenty of time to rest.
It was the middle of the afternoon when Ryan came back to the house. He barely took the time to tie up his horse before he rushed to see Grace. At the door of her room, he slowed down and knocked softly.
“Come in,” Grace welcomed looking up from her book. “Ryan!” her face lit up.
Quietly he sat down on the bed and looked at his little sister with a piercing gaze. Her eyes dropped.
“Why didn’t you tell me, Grace?”
She glanced up. “Tell you what?”
“About mother and father? Why didn’t you tell me what it was like?”
“You couldn’t hear me. I told you about my schoolmates, and you said just fit in. I tried but they only mocked me, they thought I was silly to be like them. How would I telling you what our parents were like be any different? You would just tell me that it was going to be all right and continue to love them…I couldn’t take it again.” Tears were slowly falling down her cheeks, and she wiped them away
Ryan put his arms around her.
“Grace, Oh, Grace. I am so sorry for not hearing you in your letters. I was so lost in grief myself I couldn’t hear you. Being with them I—don’t understand. How could they…how could I leave you alone to bear such a burden, how could you survive it?”
“I almost didn’t,” Grace whispered softly. “If it weren’t for Mitch. I would be dead.”
“Grace, they are not who they used to be at all. I can’t believe Father blamed you for Hannah’s death. I’ve always blamed him. I saw what happened. I couldn’t get there soon enough. It’s not your fault Grace. It never was and never will be.”
Grace’s body doubled up resting her head on Ryan’s shoulder. She quaked in his arms and then burst into tears, heartbroken sobs full of years of pent up grief spilled. Grace tried to speak, but only half spluttered words could make it out. Ryan tried to soothe her, but the tears wouldn’t stop. With a sudden shudder, Grace stopped crying.
“Grace?”
“You were there? You saw it?” the voice was strangely calm.
“Yes, I was. I had just ridden in from checking on Mr. Callistar’s rustled cattle. It all happened so slow, yet so fast. I saw Father firing at Hannah and Charlotte. I couldn’t get there fast enough to stop him.”
“Do you wish it had been me instead of Hannah?”
“Grace! How could you ask such a thing?”
Grace looked into his face. “Do you?”
Ryan pulled her close. “No, I don’t, Grace. I can’t. Losing her…” Ryan didn’t have the words. “I don’t want to lose you or anyone else. The problem existed long before Hannah’s death, no one knew it, though. Grace, I have to believe has happened for a reason. Hannah couldn’t have handled this. If it weren’t for you Grace…we might not have a family,” he pulled her away from his shoulder so he could see her face.
“I don’t blame anyone for what happened that day. Especially you Grace,” he stroked her cheek with the back of his fingers. “Grace. I am going to help you.”
Grace looked up at him curiously. “Help me? With what?”
“No one has told you have they?”
“Told me what?”
“Mother and Father are both very ill. The doctor says that Father can’t work anymore. I want you all to move and come live with me at the fort. Father can find something useful to do there. Inactivity would kill him in a small town like Esperanza Springs. There will be good doctors for Mother’s real ailments and not so real ones. I want you to come live with me and be a family again.”
Grace suddenly found her heart aching. Leave Esperanza Springs? Why? I love Esperanza Springs, especially the people who live there. Why do we have to leave now? “But what about the children I teach? I can’t leave in the middle of the school year.”
“Yes, you can, they have arranged for a new teacher. Mother and Father have already consented to the plan. I have set things in motion.”
“Ryan, I…” Grace looked up at him, half wounded half puzzled by her own aching heart.
“I know it is a lot, Grace. We need to be together we need to be a family and I can’t leave my post while you and father can. Please, Grace, understand. It is the only way.” He tenderly cupped her face in his hand, turning it to look into his eyes.
Grace’s heart ached with the thought of leaving Esperanza Springs of leaving…Mitch. What choice do I have? They need me. I can’t leave them. She looked trustingly into his face. “All right.”
He pressed a kiss to her forehead. “I know I am asking a lot of you, Grace. But I can’t think of any other way. I am going to see the doctor and see if you can come home with me today, I only have a few days before my leave is up and I am not leaving you to pack everyone up by yourself.”
Grace tried not to feel numb as he left. In a while, he came back and sat down on her bed. She looked up into his face.
“I am not going to like it am I?”
“I am afraid not Grace. To get back to the fort on time we have to leave in two days. The doctor says you will hardly be fit to even travel by then, but it can be done. I am leaving you here. Mitch will take you to Red Ridge, and we will join you there by stage coach.”
“Ryan. That means I don’t get to say goodbye.” Her heart almost broke under those words. “Can’t I come later?”
“No. Grace, I am not going to let you travel alone again. I heard what happened last time you did. The next sheriff might not be willing to rescue my sister from villains, rattlesnakes, raging rivers, disturbers of classrooms, and track you down like there is no tomorrow when you get captured.”
Grace blushed and turned away from her brother.
“Is it true that you catch green snakes now?”
At this Grace laughed. “Only if they are sitting in my desk drawer like a well behaved snake should.”
Ryan laughed rich, full, and clear, tossing back his head.
Grace smiled at that sound she loved to hear. It almost made up for the pain in her own heart.
“I am sorry to be leaving you already, Grace, but if I am to get back and get everything ready in time I am afraid I have to. Rest up and get strong.”
“And if I don’t?”
Ryan lifted his eyebrows. “Grace if you don’t…” he left off his threat with a smile. “I know you better than that.” He rose to leave.
“Does Mitch know your plans?”
“He knows. I will see you in two days, all ri
ght, little sister?”
Grace nodded and waited until he left before she turned and hid her face in her pillows. God help me accept this. I don’t want to leave, but they need me more than ever. I am going to have to start all over again making friends when I am leaving the best ones I have made in my entire life behind me.
You will always have me. I will fill your heart.
Chapter 36
The next two days flew by too quickly for Grace and Mitch. Though they said little, each felt the crisis approaching, and neither knew what to do.
It was late morning when Grace was putting the last touches to her hair when Mitch knocked on the door. Inwardly Grace smiled, she knew the sound of his knock and…oh heart, I do not know. “Come in,” she welcomed.
“Do you wish to ride alone or with me.”
Grace suddenly found her heart fluttering in her chest. She couldn’t trust herself to be so close to him. Not in her condition. She was so weak, her heart… “Alone if you please.”
Mitch nodded, his expression said he wasn’t sure how he felt about her answer. “Will you be ready soon? The doctor wants us to get there with some time to spare so you can rest.”
“I’ll be out in a few minutes.”
Grace sat looking in her mirror. I never thought I would feel like this and now that I do I don’t know what to think or do. I thought I would be aware of my heart and not just wake and know that I like him. Yes, I just like him. You do. YOU DO! You fragile little heart. It is going to be okay, you’ll move away and forget and so will he and it will be all right. Grace stared hard into the mirror but still it didn’t convince her.
Grace left her room and went out onto the white veranda where the doctor was waiting for her.
“Take great care of yourself. It won’t take too much to put you into a relapse, and you can’t have that happening. Now take care and rest when you get to town. The hotel has a private salon for travelers waiting for the coach. I have sent word ahead, and they are waiting for you. You will be able to rest there.”
“Thank you, for everything.”
“I hardly did anything. Now take care.”
“Goodbye.”
The doctor nodded and headed back into the house.
Mitch came up with the horses. “You want help to mount?”
A memory flashed over her. The day he had asked what seemed ages ago if he could help her. Grace placed her hands in both of his. “Yes, please if you would, Mitch.”
Mitch looked at her a smile crossing his face. She remembers too. “Come on, we don’t want to be late.”
The ride nearly exhausted Grace, and she was grateful to rest against Mitch’s arm as they walked.
When they entered the hotel, the clerk looked up at them. “Are you Miss Grace?” he asked.
“Yes, I am,” Grace said, perking up with some curiosity as to how in the world he knew.
“The doctor sent word that you would be coming soon, the salon is this way. He requested that the curtains be drawn so that you may rest.”
“Thank you.”
The room was made very dark by heavy curtains, and it took them both a minute for their eyes to adjust to the lighting.
“There is a couch in that corner, see it?” Mitch almost laughed.
“I see it,” said Grace with a soft laugh.
Together they made their way over to it but in the dark Grace tripped. In a moment Mitch had her in his arms. Grace let her arms encircle his neck resting her head against his shoulder; slowly he carried her across to the couch. With great care, Mitch set her down. “I’ll be back in a little while, Grace,” he whispered and left.
Quietly Grace hid her face in a pillow, a myriad of emotions washing over her. God help me to be strong and know what to say. In a few minutes, sleep overtook her.
~~~~~
Mitch went for a walk, storming his thoughts out. You have to let her go. She needs this. Time to heal, time to know her own thoughts and feelings, away from you. She has leaned on you for a long time. If it is meant to last, it will stand the test of any time that we are separated. In absence, the heart grows fonder or further apart. I don’t want to make her stay. She is still so young to tie herself down. She needs to live, to breathe free for a little while.
~~~~~
When Grace awoke, Mitch had returned. Quietly he pulled back the heavy curtains, letting some light in the room. He turned to look at her. “They’ll be here soon.”
“I know.”
For several moments they didn’t speak. There was a rumble of wheels. Mitch looked out the window.
“The stagecoach is here.”
Grace walked an arm’s length away from him. “So soon?”
Mitch nodded.
“I am going to miss you,” whispered Grace hardly daring to speak.
“And I you Grace,” He took a step forward and offered her his hands. She took them wanting to step closer but not daring.
“May I write to you?”
“Please do,” she looked up into his eyes with hope. “I don’t want to have to say goodbye.”
“I know,” the look in his eyes said he didn’t want to either.
In a moment feet were coming down the hallway he dropped her hands and Grace turned to see who was coming, closing her hand around something that Mitch had pressed into hers.
In a moment Milly and Ryan came through the door.
“Milly?”
In a moment that girl’s arms were wrapped around her in a friendly hug. “I had to come and say goodbye. I couldn’t bear the thought of you leaving and not knowing when I would see you again. I have made your brother promise me that you will come out for a visit sometime next year. He said you could most likely come in the spring if you wished.”
Grace glanced at her brother, and he nodded.
“I am so glad you came, Milly, it was so hard just to leave.”
“All the girls send their goodbyes and all of the school children too. They have hired me as the new teacher until the replacement comes.”
“You are going to teach school?”
“Try at least. We’ll see how it all goes, I am almost terrified.”
“You will find the schedule and the grade book in the upper left-hand drawer of my desk.”
“I know, I have already taught one day.”
“Oh, I hope you enjoy it.”
“I shall try.”
Ryan broke into their conversation. “Grace, we need to go very shortly.”
Milly leaned next to her ear. “Why didn’t you tell me your brother was so handsome?”
“Is he?” Grace asked, laughter in her eyes.
“Oh yes, just about the most handsome man I have ever met.”
“I think it might be the uniform,” whispered Grace.
“Then I shall have to come visit you, to see if I can find myself one.”
Grace smiled, “I would love the visit.”
Ryan was crossing the room toward her, his whispered conversation with Mitch now over. The picture of them talking would forever be one of Grace’s favorite pictures in her mind. They were silhouetted against the window, both tall and handsome. One with dark hair, her brother blond, Mitch in the rugged's of the West his gun belt strapped close to his side, standing at ease, his hands resting naturally from habit near his guns. Ryan stood tall in his blue clean cut cavalry uniform with gold buttons, he talked freely with one hand while the other rested on his saber.
“Come on Grace, it is time to go,” he said, offering her his arm to lean on.
Goodbye already? She glanced at Mitch; time with him had been so short that they really hadn’t said goodbye. Her heart was suddenly aching. Grace didn’t want to leave, her heart was here.
Mitch only nodded and mouthed the words, “You’ll be okay.”
If it weren't for the restraint of Ryan and Milly’s presence Grace would have run to Mitch. What she would say to him she didn’t know. How she would explain herself would have been a complicated matter. Suddenly
Milly was speaking. Grace tried to focus.
“Here is a box of fudge I made for your trip,” said Milly, and don’t let your brother eat it all. He was threatening to all the way here.”
Grace glanced up at Ryan. “You were teasing Milly all the way here?”
“Yes, I was.”
Grace elbowed him in the ribs.
“Hey, is that any way to treat your long-lost brother?” it was a tease, but Grace took it as a reproof and laid her head against his shoulder.
“I am sorry,” she whispered.
He bent and kissed the top of her head. “I taught you to do that so I should have known it was coming. Come on, we can’t keep them waiting.”
These precious moments were passing faster than anything that had ever happened in her life. Grace found herself walking away, Helped into the stage coach by Ryan and looking at Milly and Mitch through the open window.
The whip cracked outside, and they pulled away. As they faded out of sight Grace for the first time looked at the people inside the carriage. Her family. Grace sat across from her father who was sleeping. The paleness of his skin couldn’t be hidden even beneath the weather-beaten tan. He looked frailer than Grace had ever seen him look her entire life. Her mother sat quietly across from Ryan, a soft smile on her gentle features and weariness slowly pulling at her eyes. Then she glanced at Ryan. He was smiling broadly and happy; he was the only one that looked healthy out of the lot. Grace leaned against the stage coach and opened her hand facing her alone. In it rested Mitch’s deputy star.
Sufficient Grace Page 21