“I’m fine,” she lied to the nurse.
“She’s not fine,” he argued, noting the tightness around her mouth. Turning to the nurse, he shook his head. “I think something is wrong and Melanie just doesn’t want to be a bother.”
The nurse looked up at him for a moment, and at Melanie who was cringing, either at his words or at new pain, he wasn’t sure.
Smiling politely, she walked over to Melanie. “Would you mind if I took a look at your incision?” she asked gently.
Melanie nodded reluctantly, but glanced at Jackson. He knew that she was self-conscious of being exposed, but he didn’t give a damn. Melanie was in pain and his gut twisted with that knowledge.
“I’m not leaving, Mel,” he warned. “If something is wrong with you, I want to know.”
The nurse smiled at Melanie, who rolled her eyes. “Fine. But move away. I don’t want you to see this,” she told him.
He lifted a dark eyebrow, but he moved away, taking their son into a corner of the room to give the nurse a bit more space. While Jackson cradled their sleeping son in his arms, needing to hold him again, he watched and listened.
“Your incision is a bit more red than it should be,” the nurse explained, carefully touching the incision slightly. “I’m going to talk to your doctor. Perhaps she might recommend antibiotics. I don’t like the way this looks.”
Melanie’s mouth twisted slightly. “Can I shower soon?”
The nurse nodded. “Yes. We’ll take out all of the tubes once the doctor looks at your incision. After that, the more you move, the better you’ll feel. But…let me just check with the doctor about this redness.”
A moment later, she was gone, writing something down on Melanie’s chart as she went.
He watched her carefully for a long moment, wondering if he should ask her about the pain. Would she tell him? Probably not, he decided. But he’d watch her carefully, he thought before looking down at their son. “So…about…”
“We really need to come up with a name for him, don’t we?” she interrupted and he heard the forced cheer in her tone. He looked back at her and noticed that her eyes were bright. Unshed tears? Or something else?
“You don’t want to…”
“What about Michael?”
He understood and smiled slightly. “You’re going to interrupt me every time I try to discuss what happened, aren’t you?”
“You’ve apologized. It’s over.” She fidgeted with the sheets. “What about something a bit edgier? Such as Paxton?”
Jackson didn’t like the dismissive tone, but over the years, he’d learned to negotiate. He knew when to strategically back away and approach an issue from a different angle. With determination, Jackson knew that he would win Melanie back. And he’d never make the mistake of doubting her again!
Then the name she’d suggested struck him and he smiled down at her. “Jackson Hughes and Paxton Hughes?”
Her mouth fell open. “Um…why do you assume our son is taking your last name?” she asked, emphasizing the pronouns.
Jackson started to laugh, but looking into her pretty, hazel eyes, he realized that she was serious. “He’s taking my last name, Melanie,” he told her sternly. “As are you as soon as we get married.”
Her eyes widened, a clear warning that he wasn’t going to like her answer. “Married? We’re not getting married, Jackson!”
He came closer and he watched her body’s reactions. Her eyes dilated and her pulse pounded against the delicate skin of her neck. “Oh yes, Melanie. We’re definitely getting married. We’ll be a family. We have a son together. And no, we’re not naming our son Paxton. But yes, we are naming him Hughes.”
She shook her head, looking just as stern and ten times as defiant. “No, Jackson. We’re not. There’s no need to get married.”
“There is every need. We have a son. A child needs two parents.”
He could see that she was getting riled and liked it. Her cheeks had been pale only moments before, but her anger brought the color back. Damn, she was beautiful!
“I’d forgotten how beautiful you are, Melanie,” he replied, chuckling when her eyes narrowed.
She took a deep breath, trying to calm herself down. “Jackson, yes, we have a child together. But many parents raise perfectly healthy children separately. We both love him and…” the baby cried at that moment. Barely a moment later, his tiny body tightened and he let out a squall.
“What’s wrong?” Jackson demanded, looking from his new son to Melanie.
“I don’t know,” she whispered. “Is that normal? Is he supposed to wake up that quickly?”
He shrugged, careful not to jostle their son. “I have no idea,” he muttered, lifting him higher and bouncing him. But that only seemed to make the crying intensify. “Maybe he’s hungry?”
Melanie blushed and he wondered about that for a moment, but then his eyes dropped to her breasts. He quickly understood. “You’re breastfeeding him?”
“I want to but…”
He chuckled. “But you’re embarrassed to try it with me around?”
“That thought occurred to me,” she replied with an irritated scowl even as she reached out for the baby. Instantly, Jackson extended his arms, carefully placing the tiny human into Melanie’s arms, ensuring that she had hold of him before releasing their baby. But that meant that his arm brushed against her breast and he caught the slight gasp at the contact.
“I should probably apologize for that,” he said, grinning. “Unfortunately, I’m not sorry.”
“You need to leave,” she ordered, fiddling with the hospital gown. The lactation nurse had stopped by a while ago to help Melanie, explaining that the painkillers for her incision wouldn’t hurt her breast milk. But she didn’t want to reveal herself while Jackson was around. It was one thing for him to know what her body looked like pre-pregnancy. But she was different now. Her body wasn’t…well, she was lumpy and her breasts ached and her back hurt and her stupid stomach was pinching like no one’s business!
“I’m not leaving, Mel. Just go ahead and feed him.” When she still hesitated, he chuckled. “Melanie, I’m going to be around a lot. You might as well get used to me being here.”
Melanie looked down at her son, then back up at Jackson. “Fine!” she grumbled, then began struggling with the ties on her hospital gown. “You’re still annoying.”
“Yeah, I’ve heard that before,” he teased, moving over to help her with the ties since her fingers were shaking too badly.
When her breast was finally free, Jackson watched with amazement as his son snuggled against Melanie’s breast and started sucking. Shaking his head, Jackson watched, awed by what was happening.
“Stop watching me,” she whispered.
When Jackson looked up at her, he noticed that she was looking down at their son as well, her fingers delicately stroking the dark, almost black hair on his head. The image was so startling, so beautiful, he could barely breathe. “It isn’t sexual, Melanie.” His eyes dropped back down. “You’re breasts have always been beautiful, but seeing you feed our son like this,” he stopped and swallowed, trying to control emotions that were pretty much uncontrollable. He took a deep breath, shaking his head. One part of him wanted to run, the other part needed to stay here and be with Melanie and their son, to watch and to absorb everything that was happening. It was amazing and humbling to watch Melanie nourish their son with her body. And then it occurred to him that she’d been doing this for months, but in a different way.
“I really am sorry that you’ve gone through this whole pregnancy alone, just because I was such an ass.” He was sitting on the side of her hospital bed, one hand resting on the other side of her legs as he watched her nurse their son. “I was a complete idiot.”
She smiled slightly, her long, slender fingers caressing the soft down of their son’s head. “Yeah. You were.”
“I’m going to make it up to you.”
She laughed, shifted their tiny son slightly
so that she could hold him more securely against her breast. “You banished me from your life, Jackson. I waited for you that night. I had dinner all ready for us. I didn’t know that Roy was coming into town. He’d been in China for months.”
“You don’t have pictures of your family anywhere.”
She looked up at him, her hazel eyes drilling into him and he felt the guilt even more intensely.
“Would that have made a difference?”
“Of course! I would have recognized him.”
She sighed and pulled her eyes away. As much as he hated the guilt when she looked at him like that, he liked her dismissal even less.
“That’s the problem, Jackson.” She paused for a moment, taking a breath as if the memories were still painful. “You saw me in another man’s arms and assumed the worst of me. You didn’t trust me. You didn’t even bother to ask me.” She looked up at him once more. “For months, I’ve wondered what I’d done to push you away. One day, we’re laughing and having a wonderful time together. The next night, you don’t bother to show up. You just vanished. You rejected my phone calls and,” her voice cracked and the ache in his chest increased. “And then you threatened to call the police on me. That was the worst, Jackson. You threatened me. You made me feel like a criminal!”
He closed his eyes briefly, hating himself even more. “I’m so sorry!”
When she opened her eyes once more, they were bright with unshed tears. She shook her head and took a deep, cleansing breath. “I’m fine. It’s over. In the past.”
He touched her hand. “I don’t think it is.”
“It’s done. I’ve moved on.”
He saw the slight tremble in her lips and cursed himself. “Have you?” He suspected that her wounds went deeper than she was allowing even herself to realize.
“Yes.” She nodded firmly. “Done. I’ve moved on and we’re going to look towards the future.” She looked at her son again. “What about Alexander?” She laughed. “I actually made a list of all of the names I liked. But now, looking at him, none of them fit at all.”
“What did you come up with?”
“Alexander, Michael, David. Samuel.” she laughed. “I don’t know. They all seem wrong somehow.”
“I don’t know. I kind of like the sound of Alexander Hughes.”
Once again, she shook her head. “No, Jackson. He’s getting my last name.”
His eyes hardened. “Children take the father’s last name, Melanie.”
She grinned and Jackson knew that he wasn’t going to like what she said next. “Actually, that’s only tradition. Not the law. There’s no law that states that the child must take the father’s last name.”
He wasn’t sure, so he didn’t argue with her. He’d speak to his lawyer first. Because…well, damn it, he was a traditional guy and wanted his son to have his last name! Hell, he wanted Melanie to have his last name!
“Could you do me a favor?” she asked softly, breaking the tense silence of the moment.
“Anything.”
She grinned. “Be careful! I might ask for something you can’t give me.”
He shook his head. “Anything at all, Mel.”
“I need my suitcase. It’s already packed but I wasn’t expecting this little guy to arrive this early. Could you take my house keys from my purse and get my suitcase? Bring it back here? I packed more comfortable clothes for a hospital stay.”
Jackson sighed. “Is that all you need? Just a suitcase?”
She blinked up at him. “Should I need something else?”
“An engagement ring, perhaps?”
He waited, watching her eyes. The longing was there and…and a hell of a lot more! There! She still felt something for him. Was it love? Jackson had no idea. He loved his parents. He loved his brother and sister. But what he felt for Melanie was completely different.
But he also knew that he wanted her to love him. He wanted her for the rest of his life! Damn, why had he made those stupid assumptions?
He wanted her so fully enmeshed into his life that he didn’t know where she ended and he began. He wanted every precious, lustful, angry, messy emotion she had. He wanted her to decorate his house with flowers and her smile.
Why hadn’t he realized this before?
He had, he realized. He’d bought her that ring. A ring he still had.
“No. No engagement ring,” she whispered.
Her words said no. But her eyes told him that she was lying.
So be it, he thought. If she wanted to play that way, he’d…well, he wasn’t sure what he’d do. But he was going to figure it out. He had to. Because if the past several months had taught him anything, it was that he needed Melanie in ways he didn’t fully understand.
“I’ll be back in less than an hour,” he promised. He reached out and touched their son’s head, resisting the urge to lean in and kiss her goodbye.
Chapter 12
Melanie breathed a sigh of relief as Jackson walked out the door, but her eyes lingered on his butt until the door silently closed.
With a sigh, she looked down at her son. “He does have a nice butt!” she whispered. “I know that I’m not supposed to look, but I always do.”
“Good to know!”
Melanie’s head whipped around and saw that Jackson had come back. He was standing by the doorway looking amused.
“I thought…”
“I know what you thought,” he teased as he reached around her to her purse sitting on the chair. He pulled her key ring out of her purse, then braced a hand on either side of her head. “And we’ll talk about what you were thinking later. After I get you more comfortable clothes.” With that, he leaned down and kissed her.
Before she could protest, it was over and he was gone. Again, her gaze drifted to his butt, although she was quick to pull her eyes away before he caught her look as he rounded the corner of the nurses’ station.
As she looked down, she noticed that her son was looking up at her. She switched breasts, sighing at the relief that his nursing created. She hadn’t realized how tight her breasts felt. She smiled as his tiny hand reached up, almost cupping her breast, as if he were holding his “bottle” so that he could greedily fill his tummy.
“Don’t worry, little man,” she whispered. “Everything is going to be wonderful! I don’t know how, but it will be. I promise.”
A few minutes later, the nurse came in to detach the IV and the various other tubes. She still wasn’t able to take a shower, but the nurse promised her “soon”. The doctor prescribed some antibiotic ointment for her incision, so that the medicine didn’t get into her breast milk. By the time Jackson returned with her suitcase, she would be more than ready to change and start walking around. Everything she’d read indicated that walking as soon and as much as possible after a cesarean helped the healing process.
“I’ll just…” she tried to sit up, but the pain was too much for her. Thankfully, it was easy enough to put their son back into the basinet, but anything more was too painful.
She had to try though! Healing was her top priority so that she could care for the new little man in her life!
“Melanie, stop,” Jackson ordered, stepping through the door and dumping her suitcase by the bed. “Let me help you.” Jackson hurried around to the other side of the bed. He lifted her carefully out of bed, and lowered her legs to the floor, standing there with his arms still around her while she found her balance.
“I need…” she waved at her suitcase.
“Clothing,” he finished for her and held her hand while he lifted the suitcase onto the bed. He quickly grabbed what she needed, only briefly lifting up the white, basic cotton underwear she’d been wearing during her pregnancy.
“It was necessary,” she explained, grabbing them out of his hands.
“I wasn’t asking,” he told her with a wink. “But I was definitely remembering the lingerie you used to wear.”
Or not wear, she thought, finishing what she knew he was think
ing as well. He’d loved it when she went without panties and Melanie “forgot” them often, knowing that it drove him wild.
“Right,” she muttered, taking the clothing from him. She was painfully conscious of his hand helping her the whole way to the bathroom. When she was safely inside with the door closed, she sat down on the small chair and sighed with relief.
It took her about ten minutes to finish dressing because of the pain, but by the time she was dressed, she felt significantly better. When she opened the door to the bathroom, she was startled to find Jackson right there, ready to grab her arm and lead her back to the bed.
“Thank you,” she mumbled, embarrassed by how much help she needed. “I can…” she didn’t have time to tell him that she could get back into bed herself because he simply picked her up and set her carefully on the bed.
Kneeling beside her, he shook his head. “I spoke to the nurses,” he told her. “They explained that getting into and out of bed was going to be a problem for a few days. So, let me help you until you’ve healed enough to take over, okay?”
She blushed, which irritated her, although if the truth were known, she’d never really gotten over blushing. Jackson was the kind of lover who embraced the eroticism of sex and had taught her to embrace her sensuality. But that had come with a lot of blushes along the way. Whenever he’d shown her something new, or done something different with her, she’d felt the heat stealing into her cheeks until the crazy lust for whatever he was doing took over.
Unfortunately for her heart, those were the things she remembered now. And those memories were worse when she watched him bend over and lift their son into his arms. The baby looked even smaller in Jackson’s muscular arms.
“I like the name Alexander,” he said as he turned and brought the little guy over to her. He grabbed the special C-shaped pillow and placed it on her lap, then lowered their son into her arms.
“Thank you,” she told him, adjusting their son slightly. “That’s much better. And I’m doubly impressed that you knew what it was for.”
He chuckled. “I’ll ‘fess up. I called my sister Chloe. I asked her what you would need in the hospital and checked off everything that was in your suitcase, added a few other items, including this pillow, which she explained the purpose of.”
Her Secret, His Heir (The Diamond Club Book 11) Page 11