I glanced down at Aiden, who was peering up at me. I put a hand on his head, rubbing his silky hair. It happened so fast, I hadn’t been expecting it, but it was true. Aiden had become that important to my life, and the woman who mostly raised him? She was every bit a part of my life too.
“Because it’s family time.”
AFTER WE finished breakfast, Aiden and I finally made it to the couch to watch the movie we’d talked about. I let him pick and was delighted when he chose the first Avengers movie. We sat there, snuggled up with a tub of popcorn, quoting lines from the movie, laughing when Hulk kicked Loki’s ass, and just enjoying being together.
After the credits rolled, Aiden put his head in my lap. “Do we have to get up?”
Did we? I had nothing planned for the day. “No, not that I know of. If you could choose one thing to do, what would you pick?”
He gave me a cheeky grin, and I feared what his answer would be. “You know what I really want to do? I mean, more than anything.”
“Do tell.”
He sat up and grabbed my hand. “I want to take a nap!”
That sounded like a damn good idea. We didn’t get much sleep, and I wasn’t as young as I used to be. Then I realized something. “Wait a sec. What do you mean by nap?”
Aiden gave a lopsided smile. “Where we’re both in bed together, see? Then you put your arm around me and snuggle in close.”
Okay, that didn’t sound so bad.
“Oh, and did I mention we’d both be naked?”
“Aiden,” I groaned because he was killing me.
He reached out and patted my arm. “Hey, baby steps. I had you holding me while I had clothes on, so now I want to see what it’s like when we don’t have any.”
This had bad idea written all over it. I should be strong, should tell him in no uncertain terms that, no, it wasn’t going to happen, but God, I couldn’t seem to make the words. It had been a couple of years since I touched anyone in a sexual way. After he got sick, Brian didn’t have the strength, and though he said he wanted to, I could see he was only offering to make me happy. I never took him up on it, because his well-being was my primary concern.
And now Aiden was offering me his body.
“All we’re going to do is sleep.” I tried to remain resolute, but his trim figure was made for exploring. I wanted to touch every nook and cranny, preferably with my tongue.
“Oh, I promise. Just sleep.”
There was a gleam in his eye that told me not to trust him.
“Fine. Let’s go.”
He held up his arms. “Can you carry me? I don’t want to pull the chair out, then get to the bedroom and have to put it away again.”
I took a deep breath. “Okay.” I picked him up and held him to my body. He buried his face in my neck, his warm breath sending tingles throughout. “Aiden….”
When he licked my neck, my cock hardened painfully. I tried counting sheep, reciting the alphabet backward, picturing my kindergarten teacher naked, but none of those did anything to relieve the pressure in my pants.
“You’re a troublesome little shit, you know that?”
He nibbled on my skin. Anywhere his mouth could reach, he licked, nipped, or sucked. When I got him to the master bedroom, I closed the door with my foot and sat him on the bed.
He batted his eyes at me. “I might need help getting undressed.”
We both knew it was a lie. He’d been doing it for years, and now he was asking me to strip him. God, it was such a fucking turn-on. I lifted his arms and slid the shirt off, not failing to notice the goose bumps that pebbled his skin.
Reality slammed into me. Aiden was a virgin. In every way. I’d been his first kiss, and he wanted me to be his first everything else. But….
“I can’t.”
His head snapped back until he was staring up at me. “What? Why?”
I sat beside him and took his hand. “Listen to me. I want to. You have no idea how badly. This would be your first time, and it should mean something. I get you want to be laid, and I’m honored you want me to be your first, but—”
His lips curled into a sneer. “You stupid son of a bitch.” He growled. “You ignorant bastard.”
Whoa. “Excuse me?”
He pushed me away and leaned back. “I’m not asking you to fuck me. I’m asking you to hold me. To let me touch you. Do I want us to have sex? Yeah, I do. But I can also be respectful of your wishes. Why do you think just because I want to have my hands on you that it’s automatically going to lead to us getting it on?”
“But I—”
“God, I can’t believe you.”
Well, shit. “I’m—”
He waved a dismissive hand. “Sorry, yes, I know.” He reached for his shirt. “I’m sorry if you think I can’t control myself around you.”
I stopped him from putting the shirt on. “It’s not you I’m worried about.”
He cocked his head. “Then what is it?”
God, this was hard. “I haven’t had sex in a couple of years.”
“But, I thought—”
“Brian was sick. He said he would, but that was all kinds of wrong to me. Then he said…. He said….” Fuck, even now the words burned like acid in my stomach. “He said that if I needed to, I could go out and find someone for sex.”
Aiden’s jaw dropped. “But you didn’t, right?”
I shook my head. “One-person man. I never even entertained the thought, and I was angry with Brian for daring to suggest it. We argued, with him telling me he couldn’t very well take care of my needs anymore, and I shouted at him, told him our marriage was a lot more than sex. It was love and commitment, and I honored both of them. In the end, as we lay in bed that night, he whispered that if I ever changed my mind, to please let him know.”
“Oh.” There was a quaver to Aiden’s voice. “I’m sorry.”
“There’s nothing to be sorry for, I swear. Brian never brought it up again, and as far as I was concerned, the conversation was over. Still, I won’t deny that I was hurt by him thinking I’d go out and fuck someone else and leave him at home, wondering what I was doing.”
That story had never been repeated to anyone. Not even my mom knew it. Or at least I don’t think she did. Maybe Brian told her.
“You know something?” He put a hand on my back and rubbed in slow circles. “The love you had for each other? That’s like one for the ages. I’m in awe and humbled by it.”
That made me feel better. “Thanks.”
“Do you think you can sleep now?”
I nodded. “I’m drained. Let’s get in bed.”
I finished helping him undress, then stripped off my own clothes. We snuggled under the blankets, Aiden moving in next to me. When I wrapped an arm around his chest, the tension in his body vanished, and with him beside me, I fell asleep.
Chapter Twelve
I WOKE warm and comfortable with a weight on my chest. When I opened my eyes, Aiden’s head came into view. He’d curled up beside me, his head resting on my sternum. His arm was draped over my stomach, and he was drooling on me. It was the cutest freaking thing I’d ever seen.
When I reached down to touch his head, he shifted his position and his hand moved lower. It was so close to my dick that the traitorous thing lengthened, desperate to feel a touch that wasn’t my own for the first time in far too long.
The moment his warm fingers touched the head, I was lost.
“Aiden, we can’t—”
“Shh. It’s okay.” He reached out and encircled his hand around my shaft. I arched my back and groaned. “Just a touch, that’s all. I won’t go any farther than that.”
He pumped a few times, eliciting whimpers from deep inside me.
“See, while you were telling me I needed to grow up, I realized you were right. I’ve straddled the fence for way too long. Livvy was my safety zone, and if I ventured out of it, I always ran back, mostly because I was afraid of being hurt again. But I don’t think you’ll do that,
will you?”
I humped into his warmth. “Nggh.”
Aiden chuckled. “I like a man of few words.” He continued sliding his work-rough hand up and down, twisting gently. “You were right, though. Waiting isn’t a bad idea. I don’t want there to be any regrets for either of us. While I don’t think you’ll ever hurt me, I also know that you need time to accept that I’ve got no intention of hurting you.”
His hand was magical. He didn’t hesitate to touch, to stroke, to rub. My cock, my balls, even my taint when I spread my legs.
“You’re sexier than hell. The first time I saw you, I couldn’t stop looking. I can’t tell you how many times I jacked off thinking about you. To be here, touching you? God, that’s so fucking hot.”
My balls were drawing up, and I knew I wouldn’t be able to hold back.
“Aiden, you have to move.”
“Why? Because you’re going to come? You think that bothers me? Why do you think I moved so close in the first place? I want you to. The thought of you shooting your load on my face turns me on.”
I noticed his other hand was jacking his own dick. The urge to put a hand on the back of his head and push it down was enormous, but I found a reservoir of strength I didn’t know I had and stayed still.
“Aiden….” Tremors rattled my body as my orgasm hit. I cried out as shot after shot rocketed out of me. And through it all, Aiden kept stroking, milking every last drop from me. When I shuddered and sagged onto the bed, he sat up, the evidence of my orgasm running down his cheeks. He ran a finger through it, then popped it in his mouth.
“Mmm. A little sweeter than I expected.” He leaned over and licked my stomach, cleaning off the streaks. “Oh, this might be better than chocolate.”
I snorted, then sobbed. I’d done it. I’d let another person touch me. Waves of relief crashed over me, and I was stunned to realize that I didn’t regret it at all. I was with Aiden, who crawled up beside me and took my face in his hands.
“Kinda overwhelming, isn’t it?”
I nodded, unable to form a coherent sentence.
“You’re the first man I’ve ever touched, and already I can’t imagine doing this with anyone else. What have you done to me, Tom?”
“Probably the same thing you did to me.” My voice was raspy. “I….”
The words were on the tip of my tongue, but I didn’t think either of us were ready for them. Well, okay, I wasn’t. Though Brian’s memory was always going to be with me, I was ready to start forming new ones, and I wanted them to be with Aiden.
“You what?”
“Think we should shower.”
He laughed. “Are you going to hold me there too?”
“There’s a bench for us to sit on.”
I ran a hand over his face, wiping off the last traces of my come. When I pulled it away, he grabbed it and put my fingers in his mouth, licking them clean.
“Fuck, that’s hot.”
“Wait until the time comes for me to suck your cock.”
Any belief that Aiden was innocent went out the window when I saw his smirk. My first opinion of him was right. The guy had the devil in him.
“Do you want me to carry you to the shower?”
“Sure, if you don’t mind.”
I didn’t, not in the least.
I lifted him off the bed and crossed the bedroom to the adjoining bathroom. He stared, openmouthed, at the frosted-glass enclosure.
“Wow.”
“Like it?”
When Brian got sick and so weak that he couldn’t get around, I had the bathroom redone to accommodate him. I took out the bathtub and put in a shower big enough for both of us. Initially I thought about making it so his wheelchair could fit, but then decided a bench would be more appealing to him, instead of a constant reminder that he was sick.
“It’s beautiful.”
We entered the cubicle, and I placed him on the seat.
He squirmed. “Ooh, chilly.”
“It’ll warm up quickly.” I flicked the switch and the room filled with steam. “First we’ll take a steam bath, then a shower to cool off. How’s that sound?”
He snickered, then must have realized I was serious, because his expression morphed into disbelief. “You can steam and shower in here? I might never want to leave.”
The words sent a ripple of desire through me as once again the thought of Aiden living here loomed large in my mind. Would there be challenges? Of course. Living with someone always had them. But there also would be someone there who would make me smile on a shitty day. Give me a hug when I needed one. And that didn’t even take into account the sex.
Still, we had a long way to go before we got to that point.
“Where’s your head?”
I turned to Aiden. “What?”
“You had this look in your eye, like you were far away.” He reached out and pulled me down next to him. “Were you thinking about Brian? Is having me here bringing up bad memories?”
“No. Not at all.”
“Because if having me here makes you uncomfortable, I can—”
I grabbed the back of his neck, pulled him to me, and claimed his lips. He gasped, and I took advantage of that opening by swiping my tongue inside. It took a second, maybe two, before Aiden threw his arms around my neck and crushed our mouths together.
Aiden was a contradiction in terms. At times he was wild, uninhibited, and, judging by the way he went after the come, more than a little kinky. Then at others he was shy, sweet, funny, and argumentative. All those little bits made up a person I was enjoying getting to know.
He ran his hands over my back, and I loved the feel of him. Both of us had hard-ons by then, so I decided that I wanted to do something for him, and that it would be a first.
I slid off the bench and down to my knees.
He cocked his head and stared blankly. “Are you okay?”
Instead of answering, I spread his legs, being gentle so as not to cause him any pain.
“What are you—?”
I engulfed his prick in my mouth, and he fisted his hands in my hair and cried out.
“You said…. Tom, what are you…? Oh, shit. Don’t stop.”
I wasn’t about to. I took him deep, proud of the skills I’d learned over the years, and he slid down my throat. He locked his hands and thrust up, impaling me even deeper. When I cupped his balls, Aiden’s breath came in short staccato bursts as he went wild. I decided to up the ante and slipped a finger along his crack, gently tapping at his hole. I wished I had lube in the shower, because fingering his ass while I blew him was definitely on the list of things I wanted to do with him.
When his urgent pulling stopped and he tried pushing me away, I chuckled. No way was I letting this go to waste. I sucked harder, drawing upward, swirling my tongue around the head. My name became his mantra as he chanted it over and over. When I breached his hole the slightest bit, it was over. He spurted in my mouth, and I drew back so I could savor the flavor. Considering the inordinate amount of sweets Aiden ingested, I was surprised that he had a little spice to his come. Just like the man, it was something I could easily become addicted to.
When I pulled back, he sat there, eyes wide, staring at me.
“What was that?”
I grinned. “It’s called a blowjob. Did you like it?”
“I know it’s called a blowjob, jerk. I thought you wanted to wait.”
I got back up onto the seat. “I thought I did too. The thing is? I don’t do casual, but with you? I don’t think this can be a one-time thing. At least I don’t want it to be.”
He pulled me close and slanted his mouth over mine, kissing me deep. It was bliss. When he drew back, he had a cheek-to-cheek grin. “I taste good.”
Yeah, he did.
We relaxed in the steam for a while, then showered. Afterward, I wrapped Aiden in a fluffy cotton robe and took him back into the bedroom. When I sat him on the bed, he flopped back, his arms spread.
“You know, I’ve h
eard people feel different after sex, and I always thought it was a myth. Lemme tell you, it’s not.”
I lay down beside him. “You know, technically that was just a blow job. There are still other things that can be done to complete the experience.”
“Don’t give me semantics right now. I came and it wasn’t by jacking off. As far as I’m concerned, that’s sex.” He sat up. “I need my phone.”
I grabbed his pants from the floor and handed them to him. “Why?”
Aiden looked at me like I was crazy. “I have to tell Livvy!”
“You are not telling your sister.”
“No, you’re right.” He pulled the robe open and pointed at his crotch, his cock once again standing up and begging for attention. “A picture is worth a thousand words. Can you suck my dick some more?”
I laughed and tackled him. “You’re a nut.” I took the phone from him and placed it on the bedside table, then dropped down to my knees once more. “No pictures, but I’m good with the other part.”
As I took him back into my mouth, that nagging thought of how deeply I felt for Aiden resurfaced.
I might not say it aloud to anyone, but I was in love with him. Heart and soul.
AIDEN TUGGED at the lapels of his dark blue suit as he stared at the front door to my parent’s home. “Why do I have to wear this?”
I grinned as Olivia blew out yet another in a long series of frustrated breaths. “Because you want to look nice when we meet Tom’s family.”
“He’s not wearing a suit!”
“I’m pretty sure his mom knows what he looks like. Now, stop fussing, stand up straight, and for goodness sake, comb your hair.”
He swiped a hand over his messy locks. “There, done.”
She threw her hands in the air. “Oh my God, you’re going to be the death of me. Tom’s mother is going to take one look at us, and she’s going to slam the door in our faces.”
As I watched the interplay between the two of them, I could see why Aiden said Olivia was like his mother instead of his sister. She obviously cared for him, and he knew it but liked to egg her on.
“Are you two done? I’d like to get in there before the food gets cold or Robert and Galen eat it all.”
Stained Hearts (Links in the Chain Book 3) Page 12