by Sabre Rose
“I always take a date to events like that. It doesn’t mean anything.” He crossed his arms, looking at me intently.
“I’m sure the women you date would be thrilled to hear that.”
“I never promise them more than I can deliver. They know what they are getting into. Besides, they are just friends.”
My mind went back to when Gabe said something along the same lines. “Is that a Thornton code of honour or something? It’s okay to treat women like rubbish as long as they agree to it?”
“When have I ever treated you like rubbish? And the fact that it annoys you so much tells me something.”
“It doesn’t tell you anything,” I said, tugging the sheets tighter. “But it does tell me something. It tells me that I am nothing but a game to you. If you were serious about me, you wouldn’t have brought her.”
Tyler lifted one brow. “If I don’t bring a date to the investor’s party, that will say to you that I’m serious?”
“I’m ending this conversation.” I threw the sheets off the bed and got to my feet. “None of this matters. I’m with Gabe.” I stood before him, arms crossed and glaring. I didn’t want to be in this position. I didn’t want him to bring to light all the doubts I was already facing.
Tyler glared back at me, his eyes burning into mine. “What can I do to make you love me?”
“You want my love now?”
“I’ve always wanted your love.” Tyler smirked and my irritation at his arrogance rose.
“I thought your intentions were more of the flesh.”
“Of the flesh? How biblical of you.” Tyler quickly crossed the distance between us, all promise of staying away from me vanishing. Stopping a hairsbreadth away, his eyes trailed down to my lips, my neck, my chest. “Fleshly desires. Sins of the flesh,” he growled. “Why can’t my intentions be both?”
My heart pounded, but I took a step back. “Please, Tyler.” My voice broke on his name. “Don’t do this.”
“Why?” he asked. “If you really have no feelings for me, what does it matter?”
I looked to the ground, not trusting myself. “Because I’m scared of what I’ll do.”
With my eyes still trained on the polished concrete floor, I felt, rather than heard, Tyler’s laboured breathing. He was so close to me. Just a slight adjustment of his body position and he would be pressed against me. I waited as part of me begged for him to leave and part of me begged for his lips on mine, his hands to roam my body. With a final sigh, Tyler walked away, leaving me lost in the large room, my heart pounding with exhilaration, fear, and guilt.
* * *
I felt defeated on the flight home. Tyler had called Jimmy to collect me and take me to the airport. I was pleased for the space away from him, hoping my thoughts would clear before returning to my life. The one where I dated his brother. As I pulled up outside my house, I noticed all the curtains were pulled and Gabe’s jeep sat parked on the road outside. After pulling into the driveway, I grabbed my pack and inserted the key into the lock. The house was dark, but it vibrated with the sound of machine gun fire.
“Hello?” I called out gingerly.
“Welcome home,” Gabe called.
Gabe and Stefan were lying on the floor of my lounge, backs propped against the couch, eyes glued to the TV screen. Gabe paused the game when I walked in and got to his feet.
“Hey,” he said, pressing a kiss to my cheek.
“What are you doing here?” I asked.
“You have far better food in the fridge,” was Gabe’s cheeky reply.
“Aren’t you supposed to be in class?”
Wrapping his arms around my waist, he pulled me close, his lips brushing against the skin of my neck.
“Gabe,” I said, pushing back from him. “Why aren’t you in class?”
“It’s boring.”
“It’s boring?” I repeated.
Gabe shrugged and sat back beside Stefan who was sighing impatiently at being made to wait. “It’s just one day,” He took the game off pause.
After my encounter with Tyler, the last thing I needed was to come home to find Gabe slacking off and playing games. All the frustration I felt earlier in the day came flooding back.
“Well, make yourselves at home,” I said angrily and stormed from the room.
The sound of gunfire stopped abruptly and I heard Gabe tell Stefan to leave. “Just take my car,” he said.
Stefan snorted. “Good luck.” And then the outside door slammed shut.
Once I knew he was gone, I stormed down to the bedroom and slammed the door shut behind me, letting Gabe know just how pissed off I was. I sat on the bed, staring at my reflection in the mirror when the door creaked open.
“You okay?” He peered around the corner.
Anger seethed under my skin, but I knew it wasn’t really directed at Gabe. It was directed at myself. “Why didn’t you return my calls?”
The bed dipped as Gabe sat beside me, reaching out and taking my hand in his. “Sorry, the boys and I had a big night last night. I got your messages. At first, I was a little annoyed that you were staying with Tyler. What was I supposed to think? But then Jake called and I knew you were safe, but by that time I was rather drunk. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you.”
“I had no choice. The city was all booked out.”
“Jake said.” Gabe squeezed my hand. “I missed you.”
“It doesn’t sound like it.”
He brushed his lips across my fingers. “Did you miss me?”
“Of course I missed you,” I said gruffly.
Leaning over, he pressed a kiss to my cheek. “How much did you miss me?”
I tugged my hand away from him and stood. “I’m annoyed, Gabe. I’m annoyed you didn’t call me. I’m annoyed that I had to spend the night with your brothers with no idea how you felt about it. I’m annoyed that you got drunk and ignored me. I’m annoyed that you skipped class.”
Gabe grinned. “I’m getting the impression you might be annoyed.”
I groaned and rolled my eyes. “I’m serious here, Gabe. What are we doing? Where are we heading?”
Gabe held out his hands. “Whoa. Where’s all this coming from?” He poked his bottom lip out, pouting delightfully.
A small smile tugged at the corners of my mouth.
“I’m sorry,” he pleaded, taking my hand in his again. “I didn’t mean to annoy you. I just really couldn’t stand another day sitting in that stupid class as the tutor droned on and on about things that don’t even matter. I promise I’ll go back tomorrow. It’s only one day.” He pulled me into him, placing an arm around my shoulder. “And as for all that other stuff, does it really matter what we are doing, where we are going? I’m happy, you’re happy, isn’t that enough?” He pressed a kiss to my scalp and tightened his embrace. “You’re happy, aren’t you?”
I nodded against his chest and Gabe reached down and placed a finger under my chin, tilting my head upwards until I was looking at him. His warm blue eyes shone as he slowly lowered his lips to mine. A shot of electricity tingled through me when our lips touched and with an urgency I didn’t know I felt, I reached up and threaded my fingers into his hair, pulling him closer, wanting him to soak into my skin and make everything right again. Gabe moaned as I reached down and stroked his crotch, his hardness growing under my hand. Fumbling with the buttons of his jeans, I struggled to release him, surprised by my need to feel him inside me. With lips still locked on mine, Gabe stood and dropped his jeans and underwear to the floor, only releasing from our lip-lock as he lowered me onto the bed. I fumbled with my own pants as he hovered above me, his eyes set where my flesh was exposed to him. Pushing my thighs apart, he moaned again when he saw the wetness gleaming at the apex of my thighs.
“God, Lauren,” he said. “Maybe we should fight more often.”
I reached up and pulled his head to mine, silencing him with my mouth. Gabe entered me quickly and hungrily, grunting in pleasure as my wetness engulfed him.
He tried to rise above me, but I held him close, murmuring words in his ears which I knew would be his undoing. I didn’t want him to pleasure me. All I wanted was for him to wipe the memory of my attraction to Tyler away. I kept my eyes trained on his face as he moved in and out, his eyes rolling back in his head as I gripped his shoulders.
“I want to taste you,” he said.
I shook my head. “I just want you.”
Gabe stilled inside me, looking at me questioningly as his faintly copper-stained hair fell into his eyes. “Why won’t you let me?”
I pushed him off and climbed on top, sinking down onto his hardness. “I just want you,” I repeated, slowly rising and then falling as my hand pressed on his chest. Still crouching, I got to my feet so I could move easily, lowering myself up and down. Gabe became transfixed with where our bodies met, his eyes dark with passion and desire as I rode him until he couldn’t stand it anymore, and he lifted me off and tossed me onto the bed. Driving into me, he fucked me hard until he cried out in pleasure, pulsating before slumping over me. I kissed his cheek, his nose, his shoulder. He shuddered as I took the lobe of his ear in my mouth, biting it just a little.
“What are you doing to me, Lauren Greer?” he asked.
“Nothing,” I replied as he rolled off, flopping his arms out wide, one falling across my chest.
“Believe me,” he drew in a deep breath, “that was not nothing.” Turning to his side, he faced me. “Billie called.”
“She did?” I swallowed the tight constriction in my throat at the mention of Billie’s name. “What for?”
I waited for the news. I waited for Gabe to tell me what I already knew, but he didn’t.
“She’s insisting on us going to some family dinner next weekend. I tried getting us out of it but she was quite insistent and she said you’d be fine with it. Do you know what it’s all about?”
I shook my head, then changed my mind. “She has some news but she’s asked me not to tell you.”
Gabe flopped back onto the bed. “Please don’t let it be another fashion show.”
Running fingers over the black inked letters that marked his side I studied the words. Don’t die wondering.
“It’s not,” I said.
21
GABE
I tried prying the news out of Lauren but she was tight-lipped. If I was honest, I would have done anything to get out of the dinner with my family. Things never went well when I spent time with them.
Lauren was quiet on the drive up to the holiday house. I tried talking to her, engaging her in conversation, but most of the time she directed her gaze out the window and watched the blurs of green pass by. In the end, I simply let her. There was too much I didn’t want to say. I didn’t want to tell her, or anyone else for that matter, how much I despised the course I was taking. I didn’t want to tell her that thoughts of Isabel had crossed my mind ever since I saw her at the fashion show. Only they weren’t just thoughts of her, they were of her and Clark. How her smile brought back memories of my heart pounding in my chest but also of the guilt. I thought it wouldn’t get to me. So much time had passed, but yet, I still couldn’t block her or Clark from my mind. It wasn’t that I wanted to be with Isabel. Far from it. I wanted to be with Lauren, but I don’t think she could ever understand my loss the same way Isabel had. Although my family never knew, we clung to each other in the days after Clark’s death, only finding solace in each other's arms. But it nearly killed me. The guilt of what I had done, for the hand I played in his death, coupled with the guilt I felt each time I returned to her embrace drowned me. It was why I had to leave. It’s why I hated to be around my family. But here I was again, travelling along the road that would bring me back to them again.
I had no idea why they had called a family dinner. And it annoyed me a little that Lauren wouldn’t tell me. It was as though she was choosing Billie over me, but then I would look over at her, at the wistful glaze in her eyes, at her soft lips and slightly flushed skin and it would all fade away.
God, I loved her. I couldn’t even put into words why. She was everything I never knew I wanted.
Billie welcomed us with the usual sickening display of affection, hugging Lauren tightly and whispering in her ear. Dad nodded and shook my hand, inquiring how my classes were going. I lied and told him they were brilliant. I didn’t need him glaring at me all night.
We had arrived a little late so Tyler and Jake were already at the table when we walked in. Jake engulfed me in a bear hug while Tyler nodded and shook my hand in a way that was so similar to Dad it was spooky. Lauren smiled tightly at them both and took her seat, not noticing the way Tyler’s eyes followed her. I didn’t know how he felt about my girlfriend, but I certainly didn’t appreciate the way he looked at her.
It was the same way I did.
Billie chatted to Lauren throughout the dinner while the rest of us sat around wondering why we had all been called there. Was Dad about to announce some business deal? Was he going to retire, leaving Tyler at the helm of his empire?
It wasn’t until dinner was finished and the conversation had lapsed into an awkward silence that Dad finally cleared his throat.
“Billie and I have an announcement,” he said, looking across at Billie who gazed lovingly back at him. It made me feel a little sick. “Although unplanned, Billie and I are thrilled to announce that we are expecting a child.”
No one said a thing. We all just sat around the table in stunned silence. I looked over at Lauren. She had a tight smile plastered across her face. No wonder she had been acting so strange. Reaching under the table, I squeezed her hand. She briefly glanced at me, before smiling wider.
“Congratulations,” she said to Hamish. “I’m sure you will be thrilled.”
Dad lifted Billie’s hand to his lips, much in the same manner as I had done many times to Lauren. “We are, thank you, Lauren. Boys?” he asked, casting his gaze over each of us.
I picked up my water glass and drank deeply, avoiding his eye. Did he seriously expect us to be happy about this? By the time this kid came into the world there was going to be a twenty-two year age gap between us.
“You’re fucking kidding, right?” Jake asked.
I choked on the water I had just swallowed.
“No, we are not fucking kidding,” Dad replied sternly. “Say congratulations to your step-mother.”
Tyler was the first to speak. “Congratulations Billie,” he said simply, offering no other words.
Lauren leaned close. “Say congratulations,” she urged under her breath.
I looked at her quizzically before muttering congratulations in Billie’s direction.
“Do you know when you’re due?” Lauren’s voice was quiet and polite but I could hear the tightness in it.
Billie smiled widely. “October.”
Lauren’s hand tightened around mine.
Jake pushed his chair back from the table. “I need a drink,” he said.
“A toast!” Billie exclaimed, clapping her hands. I wondered if she simply didn't pick up on the tension in the room or if she was deliberately choosing to ignore it.
We followed Jake into the lounge where he tossed a whiskey down his throat before filling his glass again.
“To my sons who are here, to the one we loved and lost, and to the one to come,” Hamish said once we all had a glass in our hands.
“It’s a boy?” Lauren asked when no one else did.
“Did I not tell you?” Billie asked, surprised.
“You knew?” Tyler directed his question to Lauren. “Why wouldn’t you warn us?”
Lauren looked down at her glass, tossing her long hair over her shoulder. “It wasn’t my place.”
Hamish’s cell phone rang and he excused himself, Billie following dutifully as he left the room.
“They aren’t fucking serious, are they?” Jake blurted out.
“Why didn’t you warn us?” Tyler demanded of Lauren.
She took a step closer to me, choo
sing to ignore his question.
“Are you okay?” I asked as she tucked herself into my side.
She nodded but didn’t lift her eyes to meet mine.
“Why didn’t you warn us?” Tyler demanded again.
Lauren tensed by my side. I couldn’t imagine how she must be feeling, standing here in a room filled with my family while they discussed yet another child my father was about to bring into the world when she never could.
“Enough,” I said to Tyler. “It’s got nothing to do with Lauren.”
“I was talking to Lauren, not you,” Tyler shot back, though he wasn’t looking at me, his gaze was firmly on Lauren. “Lauren?” he asked. “Are you not even going to look at me?”
“For god’s sake Tyler, leave her alone,” I said, frustrated. “Billie probably wanted it to be a surprise and asked her not to tell us.”
“Did she?” Tyler asked, his eyes still locked on where Lauren was tucked into my side. I held her tightly. Somehow she seemed smaller than usual, and all I wanted to do was protect her from Tyler’s onslaught. I didn’t know why he was attacking her when it had nothing to do with her. There was no reason other than Tyler was an arsehole. If Billie had asked her not to tell anyone, what other choice did she have?
“And why would she tell you, Tyler?”
Tyler ignored me. “Lauren?” he asked, but his voice was a little softer this time. “Lauren, would you at least acknowledge me?”
Lauren took a step away and looked up at Tyler defiantly. “She asked me not to tell. What was I supposed to do?”
Relief flooded Tyler’s expression at her words. Why did it matter to him whether Lauren told us or not?
“Nothing,” Tyler said. “You were supposed to do nothing. I just wanted to know if you heard me.”
I shook my head, confused by the conversation, and walked over to the bar, pulling a bottle of vodka from the shelf. “Do you want one?” I asked Lauren.
She shook her head. “I’ll drive home.”