He tilted his head in confusion. “There have been no other women, ainsicht. You will be my first and last. Ainsicht. My only one.”
It had to be the language barrier. There was no way she heard him correctly. “What? Adam, are you telling me you’re a virgin?”
He nodded.
“But…you’re thirty-seven! And look at you! How is that possible?”
“It just is. I wanted to save myself for my true mate.”
Oh, that wasn’t good. She sighed and deflated. “I can’t sleep with you if that’s true.”
“Anna, you are my true mate. What I have to offer you this night is yours.”
“No, Adam. Your virginity is a gift, something you have held onto for almost twenty years longer than the average man. Keep it for your wife.”
She tried to pull herself out from under him, but he held her in place and scowled. “You, Anna, will be my wife.”
“Please don’t start this right now. I do not want to fight with you anymore. Just believe me when I say there is a wife out there for you somewhere, but it definitely is not me.”
“You would have slept with me had I not confessed to holding onto my virtue.”
It was a statement, but she still needed to explain her reasoning to him. “Yes, but only because I assumed we would both be enjoying a night of unattached pleasure. I didn’t suspect I would be taking something irreplaceable from you.”
“It is meant for you.”
She shut her eyes. Why did everything with this man have to be so damned complicated? “Adam, I think we should go to sleep.”
Seeing the hesitation and stubborn set of his eyes, Annalise said the only thing she thought would convince him to release her. Going by what the others had said about him, Adam was, first and foremost, honorable. He even said he did not want to push her into something she would regret. “Adam, if we go any further I would regret it.”
He sighed and pulled away. Extinguishing the lantern, he returned to the bed where they both awkwardly crawled under the covers. Not knowing what else to do, she whispered, “I’m sorry,” into the dark silence and rolled on her side to go to sleep.
Chapter 13
The following morning Annalise awoke to an empty room. She had spent the night tossing and turning in between bizarre dreams. While some moments she would wake, finding her sex throbbing and her body clinging to Adam’s sleeping form, it was only in the moments when she awoke from a nightmare that he seemed to wake with her. She had dreamed of horrible things, leeches and ticks holding to her flesh so tightly she felt her skin tearing as she plucked each one off.
Adam’s voice again taunted her. She would wake up sweating, crying and confused, but the real Adam was always there to calm and soothe her back to sleep. He would hold her tightly, whispering soft-sounding words she did not understand and promising everything would be fine. She would then fall into a comforting sleep where she dreamt of Adam feeding her fruit off the vine and licking the thin dribbles of juices that slipped past her lips and down her neck. Although they did nothing more than kiss in the dream, it was one of the most sensuous dreams she had ever had in her life.
After waking from that specific dream, she watched Adam under the early rays of dawn coming through the curtains and considered waking him to finish what they had started the evening before. However, she fell asleep before she built up the courage.
She then had another nightmare. At first she thought she was merely returning to the landscape of her previous dream, but Adam was not there. He called to her, and she followed his voice. With each step she took deeper into the fruit grove, the darker the dream grew. “Come to me,” Adam’s voice called. When she turned one dark corner, she cut her hand on the bark of a tree. She thought Adam would be there. She heard something moving, but it was not Adam. It was bats, hundreds of them, crawling over the ground below a skeletal tree, feasting on blood oranges.
When they noticed her, they all hissed as if sharing one evil brain. They had fangs, and she knew in that moment they were vampire bats. They swarmed her and began to attack. She screamed, but there were too many. Their clammy wings slapped against her flesh as their fangs sunk into her, piercing her everywhere at once. They were on her arms, her torso, and even her face.
When she finally pulled herself awake, she was in Adam’s arms again. He held her but did not say much. His eyes appeared troubled. He’d asked her to tell him about the dream and she had. He did not say anything in return, only held her until she fell back into a thankfully dreamless sleep. And now he was gone.
Being that she was a guest—hostage?—Annalise figured she should probably get up and see where everyone was. After brushing her teeth and washing her face at the ewer, she began to dress. She did a sloppy job at fastening her dress and apron, but was impressed with how close to Gracie’s braids she had done her hair. Of course she had no mirror to go by, but her reflection in the window told her she had done a fair job.
There was no way she was wearing the heavy wool stockings someone had left for her. Because her panties needed to be washed, she would wear the pillowcase ones the other girls wore. She slid her feet into the worn leather boots that belonged to Adam’s older sister and frowned. What was wrong with sneakers?
After finishing her ensemble with her silly bonnet, she headed into the kitchen. The house was quiet. No one seemed to be home. If they were so worried about her fleeing, wouldn’t they have someone there guarding her? She moved to the front door and looked out. No, she guessed they wouldn’t need to guard her when there wasn’t a sign of modern civilization for miles. Field after field, with only a barn here and there, spread out ahead of her until the horizon swallowed the earth with blue sky.
“Are you hungry?”
Annalise jumped, and Gracie laughed. “I didn’t see you sitting there.”
“I know. And just so you don’t go giving yourself heatstroke, we are twenty miles from town. Without a buggy and groom you wouldn’t make it off the property.”
“Greaaaat.”
The young girl laughed and stood to retrieve a dish out of a very old-looking oven. She had placed some kind of needlework upside down on the table and placed a plate heaped with pancakes, eggs, and sausage in front of the chair next to the one she had vacated.
“Have a seat.”
Annalise sat down and stared at the absurd amount of food piled in front of her. Gracie carried a carafe of milk and a glass to the table. She poured her a cup then sat and watched her expectantly. Annalise picked up a fork and stabbed a fat link of sausage. She took a bite and Gracie smiled, leaning back in her chair.
“So…how did last night go?”
Annalise stilled at the forward question. Was the entire family hoping she would sleep with Adam? Why?
Gracie frowned. “Oh, I see. Well, there is always tonight. You know, you really shouldn’t let all that talk of virtue bother you. If you asked Adam to marry you tonight he would. Would that help matters?”
Shaking her head at such a statement, Annalise slowly said, “Gracie, I don’t know what Adam told you about last night. I wish he would have kept our personal business a little more private, but, just so we’re clear, I am not marrying your brother.”
“Oh, Adam didn’t tell me anything. He is very private.”
“Then how did you know about…last night?”
The girl blushed. “If I tell you something you must promise not to judge me. It may seem strange to you, but around here it isn’t all that odd.”
“Okay,” Annalise responded slowly.
Gracie took a deep breath. “You know how some people are really good at reading others’ expressions? Well it’s kind of like that. And you know how some people have more expressive body language and are easier to read? Well, for some reason you are like that. I can read you really well.”
“You could determine what your brother and I argued about last night from my expression?”
“Well, no. I don’t read your expression. I read
thoughts.”
“What?”
“I can hear thoughts. Watch, try and think of a color.”
That was just ridiculous. Brown. Annalise would do no such thing.
“Brown! You thought brown. See?”
She stared at the other girl. How was that possible? Wanting to really test her, she imagined a frog with bright red painted lips and a tall pink cone hat.
Gracie began to giggle. “I have never seen, in all of my days of chasing toads, a frog like that.”
Annalise dropped her fork to the table with a clatter. “Gracie, how are you doing that?”
“I don’t know. I just always could. Most people who know me and are used to it know how to block their thoughts, but you are like an open book to me. I wonder if it’s because you’re…”
“Because I’m what?”
“Um, because you’re…not from around here.”
“Well, how do the others block their thoughts?” Gracie pouted at her. “What?”
“What fun would it be if I told you? I like playing around in your head. It’s very interesting. I like when you imagine things I don’t recognize. Things we don’t have here. English technologies fascinate me.”
“As glad as I am that I am entertaining you, I don’t think I like someone poking around in my head.”
“Why? I wouldn’t tell anyone what I read.”
“You did last night.”
“That was different. You were planning on running away. I don’t want you to go. Besides, Adam needs you to stay.”
“Why?”
“Because you’re his mate.”
Annalise growled and pushed her plate away. “Mate! What does that even mean? I don’t understand so much about all of this!”
Gracie gave her a sad smile, her fingers running over the threads peeking through the tightly pulled fabric of the loom in front of her. “I have been working on this piece for a month now. Do you see how my work looks sloppy from the underside, all twists and knots, and loose ends?” Annalise looked at the underside of the loom and did indeed see a disaster of colorful threads. “That is what we see, from our place on Earth. We are so far below the masterpiece we do not recognize its beauty.” She flipped the needlework over. The other side was a breathtaking design of pale-sage vines and pearl-tipped roses, shot with reds and pinks making it look as if the sun were actually setting over them. The detail looked as if it was painstakingly thought out and worked through with blinding patience. “Then there is what God sees. He sees his plan. It is not for our eyes. We will see it when he decides it is our time. Until then, we are only to trust that the ugliness that touches our lives down here is part of the beauty he has planned for the end.”
Although Annalise had never been a religious person, she would be lying if she said Gracie’s words did not comfort her. “I have never had that much faith in God.”
“Well, Anna, it is never too late to remedy that. You can trust us. We are not here to harm you. We want to see you happy and Adam happy as well. You may not realize it yet, but God has a plan for you. Trust me when I tell you it absolutely includes my brother.”
A while later, after she had finished eating and Gracie had returned to her needlepoint, Annalise went outside to sit on one of the many rockers that lined the covered porch. It really was beautiful here. The sun had dropped from its high point in the sky, and the grass sparkled as if sprinkled by chips of crystal. She had slept most of the day away. She saw a wagon being towed by four Clydesdales in the distance, and cows grazing under a hundred-year-old willow tree. There was no noise like she was used to, no cars rushing by or horns honking, no radios pumping out offensive lyrics or clouds of smog billowing from factories. It was just peace, nature being only lightly seduced by man rather than trampled and changed beyond recognition. She could easily grow used to living in such a tranquil place.
Gracie had said the others were working. Her mother had gone to town with her father, but the rest of the families who shared the farm had been tending their work since early that morning and would not be back until closer to dusk.
Annalise thought about Adam and the way they had left things the evening before. He was so sure that she was somehow meant to be with him, but if that were the case, wouldn’t she have similar inklings? Of course there were the dreams she had of him before ever meeting him, but then there were also her nightmares. Although, Adam did not share them with her so perhaps they were her own twisted issues calling for attention.
There was no denying the attraction they shared. When he touched her, even when she pretended his attention was unwelcome, something inside of her melted in a way no man had ever been able to make her feel before. He was devastatingly sexy. She loved how soft his dark skin was. Last night, while she watched him sleep, she tried to find even one imperfection but couldn’t. He was in incredible shape. He had a beautiful smile, exotic eyes, and a natural scent that drove her mad. It was as if a specially concocted pheromone designed especially for her came off of him in waves, especially when they were being intimate with each other. And most of all, he seemed utterly determined to convince her he was a decent man.
Kyle had never been that concerned with how she perceived him. The way that Adam had backed off last night was something she could never imagine Kyle doing. Of course Kyle would never force her to do something she wasn’t in the mood for, but he would pout and carry on for hours and then do something passive aggressive the following morning.
Kyle also never looked at her the way Adam did, as if he would die if he didn’t kiss her in any given moment. The memory of Adam’s kisses the night before had Annalise squirming in her rocking chair. She looked at the setting sun. Wasn’t it dusk yet? How much longer would he be working? Maybe she could go for a walk and try to find him. She knew she wasn’t supposed to stray far from the house, but surely he would understand her leaving if she told him it was only because she missed him.
A woman carried a drink out to the man driving the wagon in the field. The horses stomped and whinnied as the man leaned down and took the drink from the woman. Although Annalise could only make out their silhouetted figures in the distance, the woman’s flirtatious laughter carried. Was that a ‘mated’ couple? Gracie had said Jonas had taken Abilene to town. She said they needed some supplies, but that her parents frequently ended such trips with a long carriage ride and a picnic by the lake.
Everything seemed so old fashioned here, as if moving at a slower pace made everything a little more simple and clear. It would be nice to be loved by a man who worked hard to take care of the home and put his wife first, she doing the same only with an old-fashioned divide between women’s work and men’s work. She supposed it was a lot simpler for people to have such defined roles. Adam was very old-fashioned. At first she found some of the things he said offensive, as if he thought she was an idiot, but once she realized he was only looking out for her safety, she found them almost comforting.
At home men weren’t like that anymore. Adam might be more domineering than most modern men, but he also had finer qualities the other men she knew lacked. He opened doors for her, pulled out chairs, looked out for her comforts emotionally and physically. When they walked together, she even enjoyed the way he kept a hand on her at all times and an alert eye open for any obstacles or danger. He actually was a very sweet man. So why was he single?
The man on the wagon leaned close to the woman and stole a kiss before handing her back the now-empty glass and readjusting the reins. The woman skipped off, and Annalise suddenly had a sick feeling. Were there other women bringing cool glasses of water to Adam while he worked? She frowned. She didn’t want any other woman seeing to his needs. As a matter of fact, if she found out he was accepting drinks from some Amish floozy she would tell him exactly what she thought of such behavior.
Wait, what was she doing? She had no right to him. She looked down at her clothing. They were sucking her in. It was now Tuesday and she had missed half of her finals. Funny, it didn’t
really bother her as much as it had the day before.
What was happening to her? Since her mother died, Anna had spent her life according to a sensible plan. There were no sidelines or pit stops. No, she was supposed to finish her degree that week, start looking for a job the next, settle in at said job, trade in the Turd, maybe upgrade her apartment, and perhaps accept a marriage proposal from Kyle in the near future. But the thought of even kissing Kyle now made her nose twitch. So she would nix the Kyle part of the plan. She still had her degree to return to.
It wasn’t like her to suddenly want to jump ship on something she had worked so hard toward. Yet, part of the appeal seemed to have faded. Her old life didn’t appear to have the same luster and excitement she thought it did only days ago.
She frowned. She could not actually be considering staying there with Adam. That was ludicrous. However, the idea of stopping for a few days and actually embracing the reprieve from her normal life did sound a bit tempting. She hadn’t had a vacation since she was seven and she and her mother drove to Yellowstone Park that summer. She was way overdue for some R and R. Why not take advantage of the time she had now? Make the best of it?
That was it then, she decided. When she got home, she would contact her professors and try to explain why she was absent. She would just have to lie. Rocking in her chair, she smiled. She was beginning to believe she wasn’t dreaming, but if so much of what she was feeling felt like a dream, why was she in such a rush to wake up and return to reality?
Perhaps she should just see where things went, see what God had planned for her. The idea of maybe taking this time to think about her relationship with the higher up, something she never really considered before, felt oddly right. Annalise hid a smile. Since she was all by herself, she slid her feet out of her clunky boots and pulled them up to the seat of her rocker. Enjoying the breeze, she bared her legs, holding her dress under her knees to keep her modesty intact and not give an elderly Amish fellow who might pass by a stroke.
Called to Order [The Order of Vampyres 1] (Siren Publishing Allure) Page 14