She fought the sudden urge to cry. Had her existence always been so inconsequential? No one had even e-mailed her to see why she had missed her midterms. When she checked her missed calls, the only number listed was from the bar, and that was probably because they were missing their server during happy hour. Was her most significant quality her ability to serve up greasy food and refill draft beers?
It seemed as if rather than making her own footprints on the world she had merely been hopping in the beaten tracks of everyone else. In twenty-three years had she really not left a single mark on the world other than as a barmaid?
She watched as a tear landed silently on the tile floor.
“Anna?”
She turned to the door, grateful Adam did not simply walk in. “I’ll be out in a sec.” Anna blotted her eyes and stood. Looking in the mirror, she huffed at how quickly her eyes had turned pink. She began to wash her hands. When she turned to reach for the hand towel, she paused. Adam was now watching her from the open door.
“You are upset.”
Despite her soft laugh, another tear fell past her lashes. “No, I’m just being ridiculous. Don’t worry. I’ll stop in a minute. I am not even sure why I am crying.”
He tilted his head and watched her. Why did he have to look at her like that, with such patience and wonder? “Annalise, when I said you could not bring all of your possessions, I did not intend to hurt you. I am sorry.”
She wiped her eyes and sat back on the toilet seat. “It’s not that. I don’t even know why I would want to bring any of this junk.”
“Because it is not junk. These are your possessions. All of these items are a part of the world you are used to. It was wrong of me to make you feel as if they had no place in our future. I cannot promise you a modern home, but I can allow some concessions so long as they are met with discretion.”
He moved to sit on the lip of the tub across from her. Placing a finger under her chin, he gently tipped her face up. She looked into his eyes and wanted to cry all over again for the concern she saw in his expression. “Are you always so understanding, Adam?”
“I do not like to see you cry, ainsicht. But yes, I will always try my best to understand you. It is what a partnership should be based on, understanding one another.”
“You are so different, Adam.”
He seemed to retreat slightly, pulling his hands away and averting his gaze. “I wish I was not so different. Perhaps if I was more like the English men you are accustomed to it would be easier for you to accept being my mate.”
“No, Adam. You are so much better than any English man I have ever met. I meant it as a compliment.”
He looked at her then. She noticed the way his lip twitched slightly as if her words made him want to smile. He had distracted her enough that she had stopped crying. Softly, Anna placed her palm along his strong jaw. “Whatever happens, I want you to know I think you will make a wonderful…mate someday.” Then he did smile and proceeded to kiss her sweetly.
* * * *
Adam held the door to the establishment where Anna worked and followed her in. His skin was prickling. There were twelve males in the establishment, too many males in such a small space, too close to his mate. His eyes immediately found the man Kyle.
“Do you want to sit in a booth and wait while I talk to Kyle?” Anna asked.
He gazed down at her. She was beautiful with her hair flowing freely down her shoulders, the yellow of her top making her look fresh and youthful, her skirt hiding her soft, tapered legs. “No, I will go with you.”
She sighed. “Adam, I need to talk to Kyle alone.”
He did not want her speaking to any other male, especially alone. She was his. Since feeding from her earlier that day, he had been feeling more and more possessive. While they were shopping, a sense of unease had settled over him. Males were looking at her, watching her. He could feel their admiration and the weight of their filthy thoughts, thoughts about his mate. “I will come with you.”
She leaned close and whispered, “Don’t do this.”
He had the fleeting thought of carrying her from the bar and taking her directly back to his home. This was a mistake, bringing her back here. He began to suffer waves of vertigo the moment they had parked the car. His head still ached from being in the sun longer than he should have that day, and his gums pulsed and his fingers twitched. He was growing feeish, his beast nagging to come out and play. He growled.
She pulled him closer and snapped, “Adam, pull it together!”
“I do not want you here around these men.”
“Well, this is what we agreed on. I need to talk to Kyle, and if Jim is here I need to see him as well. You cannot be there when I talk to Jim. I have worked for him for two years. He will think it’s rude if I bring you. Now stay here. I’ll be right back.”
She turned to head toward the bar. He grabbed her arm and pulled her back. “I go with you or we leave now.”
He could tell she was growing irritated. He did not want to upset her. He simply did not have a tight hold on his emotions at the moment, and the last thing they needed was to make a scene. “I can feel it, ainsicht.”
Frustration rung in her hushed tone as she snapped, “Feel what?”
“My hunger. Being here is no good. Do not push me too far on this. Do what you must and accept the fact that I am not leaving you. Either that, or risk pushing me and I may do something we both regret.”
She looked at him, her eyes traveling over the tight set of his jaw, the tension in his shoulders, and how tightly he clenched his fists. “Okay, Adam,” she quietly agreed in a shaky voice.
He followed her toward the bar, never taking his palm from the protective place he rested it on her back. The man behind the bar turned and paused when he spotted them.
“Lisey! Where have you been?”
“Hi, Kyle. I’ve been sick.”
“Sick? You could have called,” the man said in an irritated tone causing Adam to step closer to Anna and stare down at him, a warning in his eyes.
“I’m sorry. I was really…out of it. I took a lot of cold medicine and was pretty much dead to the world for the past few days. I even had to reschedule my finals.”
“Well, we’ve been really busy here and stuck without a waitress.”
Anna scrunched up her face and placed her fists on her hips. “Well in case you were wondering, I’m fine!”
“Well good. Your apron’s at your station.”
“Kyle,” she snapped, “weren’t you a little concerned when you didn’t hear from me? Did you even stop by to see if I was okay?”
The man made a confused expression. “Why would I do that? We broke up. I called a few times, but when you didn’t get back to me I figured you were just busy.”
She scoffed. “Well…” Adam knew she had no recollection of them ending their relationship. She had been unconscious, and he had implanted the memory in the man’s mind. This was obviously confusing his mate. “Well I hope you know I dumped you!” she finally snapped.
The man shrugged indifferently. “You better go talk to Jim. When he couldn’t get a hold of you, he put an ad in the paper for a new waitress.”
Anna huffed and turned away. Adam kept pace with her as she walked quickly toward the back of the bar. After they walked through a narrow opening and came to the small hall across from the restrooms, she stopped and stomped her foot angrily. “What an asshole!”
“Anna—”
“Can you believe him? Next month would have been our one-year anniversary, and he acts like I never meant anything to him. Well he can just eat shit. I don’t need him. Him or this stupid job.”
Before Adam could comment on how pleased that statement made him, she was already moving again. She walked to a door from which a sign hung stating ‘Employees Only’ and knocked. Her foot tapped quickly over the scuffed wood floor.
“Come in.”
She opened the door and stepped in. Adam waited at the open door. The offi
ce did not offer much room. There were boxes and large rolls of toilet tissue stacked along the wall. An older man missing most of his hair sat at a worn desk with papers spread across the surface.
“Lisey, where have you been? I have been trying to reach you, even sent Karen to check on you, but she said no one answered the door.”
Anna seemed relieved that this man seemed more concerned for her well being than the man Kyle. She detailed the same lie she had told the other man, and Adam did not interrupt her.
“Are you better now?” Jim asked with obvious concern.
“Yes, but some personal issues have come up. I need to leave town for a bit. It’s a… family emergency.”
The man looked at Adam and eyed him. Adam growled. “Who is your friend?”
Anna looked back at him then to Jim. “This is Adam. He’s been helping me with some things.”
“Annalise, if you need anything you know you could come to me. We’re always here for you.”
“I know, it’s just, this is personal.”
Jim didn’t seem to accept her excuses easily. Adam had the sense that the man did not like him because he had simply never seen him before. “Can I speak to you privately for a minute, Lisey?”
She looked back at Adam then opened her mouth to respond, but Adam placed a stilling hand on her shoulder and stepped closer. “I have asked Anna to marry me. Whatever you need to say to her you can say in front of me.”
This did not please the man. “Married? Lisey, you’re twenty-three.”
“I…I know. We’re still working things out. We haven’t even talked about a date yet. We’re going to take things slow,” she explained, sending Adam an irritated look.
“And how did the two of you meet?”
“That is none of your concern.”
“Adam, you’re being rude.” She turned back to Jim to apologize and gasped. Adam did not break eye contact with the other man to look at Anna.
Adam continued, “Anna will be moving out of the area for some time. You will find a new employee to take her place, and you are very happy for her.”
Anna continued to stare at him with her mouth agape. She turned back to Jim when he said in a monotone voice, “Well, congratulations, Anna. I’ll be sad to see you go and it’ll be hard to find another employee as dependable as you, but I wish you nothing but happiness. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to get back to work.”
Adam led Anna out of the office and shut the door. He could feel her rage in a way he had never felt it from her before. She kept her arms stiff at her sides and her lips pressed tightly together as he took her elbow and led her out of the bar. Their purpose here was complete.
When they reached the truck, Adam walked her to her door and Anna angrily yanked her arm from his grasp. “What is wrong with you?”
A car door opened and closed in the distance. Adam crushed his lips to hers, crowding her in the space of the open truck door, and she pushed at his chest, trying to break the kiss.
“Lisey, is that you? Where you been, girl?”
Adam broke the kiss and turned on a burly older man with a bushy mustache who had interrupted them. He hissed, fangs bared, eyes fully dilated and glowing in the dark night. “Leave!” The man froze for a split second then quickly turned back toward his vehicle and walked in a daze back to his car.
“Adam, what’s gotten into you?” Anna snapped as she shoved him.
He picked her up by the waist, plucking her from the ground and plopping her on the seat of the truck. “I do not like so many men looking at you. You are mine.”
She gave him a disbelieving look then hissed, “Not yet I’m not!”
His inner beast roared, and he forcefully pressed her back, her body collapsing upon the bench seat of the vehicle. She struggled to sit up, but Adam applied minimal pressure to her chest and held her in place. His thoughts were jumbled, his eyes searching every inch of her, for what he did not know. His vision caught on the fluttering pulse just below her delicate jawline. Lily-white flesh, as fine as the petals of a flower, called to him. His gums ached, his mouth feeling overly full. He wanted to sink into her in every possible way. His voice sounded nothing like his own as he warned, “Make no mistake ainsicht, you are mine.”
* * * *
Annalise did not understand what was happening. Adam was suddenly crazed and acting like a Neanderthal. He held her pinned to the worn-down leather seat, the shadows casting over corners causing her to feel as if she were being held underwater. The sky was dark; nothing like the masterpiece of stars that hung over the open land in Lancaster. Here it was just inky blackness where if one did notice a sparkle it would most likely be a jet in the distance.
The press of Adam’s palm accompanied by the sting of his sharp nails had her abandoning her astrological thoughts in exchange for more urgent issues. She carefully wrapped her hand around his thick wrist. His pulse pounded frantically under his tightly corded skin. She wasn’t sure what exactly had triggered this reaction in him, but for whatever reason he was acting nothing like himself, unpredictable. Tension breathed off of him like tongues of heat from a wild fire.
“Adam. Adam, look at me.” His eyes, not human eyes, but those of a crazed animal darted over her body, tripping over her face until they found an anchor in her own. “Adam, don’t do this here. We’re in a parking lot. Whatever you need I will give you, but you have to let me up.”
His chest heaved. Twin white points tipped out from between his parted lips. She could read the confusion in his face as if her words were reaching him through a haze, jumbled and broken, not quite making sense. She reassured him, “I will not run from you, Adam. You have to release me.”
“No!” he snapped, exerting more pressure over her chest, crossing the line between restraint and force.
She winced as her shoulders pressed deep into the old leather and her neck twisted at an odd angle so that she could maintain eye contact with him. He moved closer, and she could feel that he was severely aroused. The last thing she wanted was for him to take what he wanted brutally in a way that she would never be able to forgive.
“Adam, you have to listen to me.” He shifted his legs and she could feel his other hand moving over his own clothing. “You cannot do this. Please! Listen to what I’m saying. Look at what you’re doing. This isn’t you. Don’t do this.”
His shoulders bunched. She held tight to the wrist above her chest with both hands. He was so incredibly strong. He didn’t seem to be using any effort at all to pin her in place. She suddenly felt very frightened for herself, but also for him. She couldn’t get through to him. Would he force her, take her against her will like an animal? Lost in a sea of confusion was her sweet Adam. Not this man holding her down. This was his beast. A beast she could not overpower or reason with.
Annalise was afraid of what he would do but not terrified. Some deep down part of her knew he would not endanger her life. She was too important to him, necessary. Yet she was frightened about the damage he would do to the fragile balance of trust they had only recently established. He would never forgive himself for hurting her, and she would not be able to overlook such a betrayal.
He tugged at the tangle of limbs between them in the cramped space. A wash of emotion flooded her, so many feelings at one time, not pain, but hurt, a hurt that spread through her chest like fire that he could do this. She repeated his name over and over, a plea on her lips, but the thin thread of communication she held had been severed. She was reasoning with a deaf animal. He was no longer seeing her, but seeing his own irrational fears of her belonging to another male. Ridiculous.
Anger and inadequacy flooded her. She had never in her life felt so small, so helpless, so utterly human. It was in that moment that she truly accepted that she would never be as powerful as him. He was not a man, but a vampire possessed by baser instincts and strength she had no weapon to defeat.
Her grip slackened in surrender as his whispered name fell from her lips one last time. A numbing ra
ge filled her at the reality that he would give up so easily on his control. She thought he was stronger than that. It was so naive of her to think he could outrun what his uncle could not. She wanted to punch him for letting his emotions win over common sense. Would he ever come back from this dark place inside of him that now had full possession of his gentle mind?
A tear slipped from her eye and she turned away from him. Ashamed that she was not strong enough to get through to him, heartbroken that whatever beautiful thing they had was about to be destroyed, and she was helpless to prevent it.
It took her a moment to realize his movements had stilled. Her wet lashes clung to each other as she opened her eyes. She blinked through the blurred images before her. As her vision slowly focused, she saw Adam watching her, his head cocked to one side like a dog watching something peculiar and curious. She had let go of his wrist some time ago, and she realized he was no longer forcing her down. A frown knitted across his brow as he watched her through eyes still not his own.
She looked at him, her lips pressed in a resigned line. A stuttering breath clattered through her nose, small, incapable of filling her lungs, yet her body reverberated from its force. She had not cried like that since she was a child. Not even when her mother died did she suffer those kinds of torturous sobs that silently wracked her entire body.
He blinked. She watched the smooth-shaven skin of his neck roll over the lines of his throat as he swallowed. His mouth opened, the confusion in his expression clearly stemming from his brain as not a single word crossed his tongue. Yet she noticed a change. His fangs were no longer showing.
He slowly reached for her face. Hands belonging to a craftsman, strong and unthreatening in any bestial way showed before her. The soft pad of his thumb came down gently upon her cheek, rubbing out the evidence of her tears. He blinked several times, and Anna found a thread of hope that he was returning to himself.
Called to Order [The Order of Vampyres 1] (Siren Publishing Allure) Page 23