by T. S. Ryder
I turned to face him. He was sitting on the edge of the bed and he nodded wordlessly at me.
“And what about marriage?” he asked. “Is that still a custom humans have?”
I nodded.
“Have you ever been married?” he asked.
I shook my head.
“Why not?” he asked. “You are beautiful by any measure.”
“It’s not for me,” I said, with a shake of my head, still staring at X29. “My life is already hard enough. I never have any time to myself. Adding someone else just makes everything so complicated. Besides, what if I really loved someone and then they were reassigned and ripped away from me? I already lost my mother. I don’t think I could survive another separation.”
Chapter Six
I had been working for Detro for several months when news arrived that a delegation would be arriving from the home world. Detro had slowly started instituting his less strict measures and they had started to pay off. On X29 productivity was up and executions were down. It was working, and Gosebs from the home world were coming to see for themselves.
They would, of course, not spend any time in the human work camp. That was far too unpleasant for them. Instead, there would be a hunting expedition on the one place on the planet that actually had foliage, the small jungle in the southern hemisphere. Detro wanted a human servant to come along and cook and clean for him at the camp, and I was chosen.
The jungle was hot and wet. Walking through the tall trees and hanging vines, the air was so thick with moisture that it felt like walking through water. I stepped off the ship and took a deep breath of the wet air. I could smell the trees, the flowers, the dirt underneath my feet. After spending all that time on the sterile ship it felt wonderful to be back on a planet.
The other Gosebs had their own human prisoners, so I only had to work for Detro and it was easy enough to keep him happy. I set up his camp exactly as I knew he would like it. He came in as I was working and walked over and sat behind the small desk I had set up for him.
There was no need for me to kneel when he entered or even stop my work. Instead, we both just went about our tasks. Occasionally we would have to move around each other in the small tent, but it was like a dance. We knew each other well enough that we knew what the other would do.
When another Goseb entered, everything changed.
“It is a fine morning, Detro,” a Goseb commander said, as he marched into the tent. I dropped to my knees and kept my eyes downcast.
“A fine morning for a hunt,” Detro agreed. I glanced up and saw this commander staring at Detro, and then his eyes glanced down to me and a hard frown appeared on his face. It took me a moment to realize where the anger was coming from. The Goseb commander was wearing his black mask, but Detro still did not have his on.
The tension in the tent changed, and I knew it was because of me. According to Goseb custom, Detro should always have his mask on when a human was in the room.
“Go and find some occupation,” the commander spit at me, and I quickly sprang up to my feet and hurried out of the tent. I stopped the moment I was outside, breathing heavily. Things on Detro’s ship had been so relaxed, and it was startling to have to go back to the world where I was nothing.
They left for the hunt and were gone all day. The other humans were kept separate from me and so, for the first time in a long time, I was alone. I walked around the camp. The jungle here was intense. Everything seemed so big. The leaves on the hanging vines were the size of my head. The bugs were the size of my hand. Birds flew above me screeching and calling out, their cries echoing around the jungle.
The hunters came back successful, their kills carried by their humans: large wild beasts with cloven hooves, long tails and bright plumage. They were cleaned and drained and then roasted over the fire, sending a mouthwatering scent over the camp.
Discretely, I watched Detro as he moved about his fellows. He was younger than most of them, yet he walked with a regal bearing and seemed to command respect. But his ideas were met with scoffs. The commanders didn’t seem that interested in Detro’s ideas about kindness. Even though output had improved impressively on the planet, they thought it was a fluke, something that would pass eventually.
They ate and drank long into the night. I sat on the ground near Detro’s tent, struggling to keep my eyes open as the cackle of Goseb laughter passed over me. At some point in time I must have drifted off, because when I opened my eyes it was dark and I could only see a lone fire in the distance.
Someone had my arm and was pulling me to my feet. I struggled in the darkness to see who had me. Whoever it was held my arm tightly and pulled me away from the camp and towards the woods.
“Detro?” I whispered, but a hand was clamped over my mouth. It wasn’t Detro. It couldn’t be. I didn’t know who was hiding under the mask, but Detro would never be so rough with me. I struggled, but the hand holding me only gripped tighter.
I was moving away from the camp. This was bad. I didn’t want to be away from the safety and warmth of the fire. Panic flooded my veins. My struggle did nothing; my tears did nothing. I fought and pulled, trying to get back to Detro, but it was like trying to swim upstream. No matter how hard I fought, I made no progress.
Suddenly, I was pushed against a rough tree and I felt hands on my hips, and then they were moving over my body.
“No,” I sobbed, fighting against the Goseb, but the hand was back on my mouth, silencing me.
Think of better times, I thought, closing my eyes. But then the hands were gone. With a grunt I was free, and I opened my eyes to see my attacker lying flat on his back with Detro standing over him. I recognized Detro even with his mask and armor, even in the dark.
I quickly wiped the tears away from my face and Detro moved to put himself between me and the commander on the ground.
“How dare you!” the commander hissed, as he struggled to get to his feet.
“I don’t permit my humans to be touched,” Detro said.
“You don’t give orders to me,” the commander yelled. “I am above you. I am a fighting commander, not some bureaucrat who spends all day watching prisoners. I can have any human I want. You think you’re a real warrior? You’re nothing. You’re pathetic. Now step aside.”
“No,” Detro said.
“You are too close to the humans. They are weak. We are strong. We invaded their planet and overtook them. They are beneath us and always will be. Your feelings for them make you weak.
“Give me the human or I will make you pay for it. I will have you removed from your command and sent to a re-education training facility. You will lose all of the advances you've worked so hard for. You will be reduced to nothing and I will have her anyway. Now step aside.”
“I command this planet,” Detro said. “And before you toss aside my accomplishments I will remind you that the ore we mine here is used to build your ships and your weapons and your technology. Without me, your fighting force would be nothing more than an easily defeated scrap heap. The Goseb world has changed. It’s not just about the fight anymore. Our society has grown and we must change with it or lose everything.”
“How dare you lecture me!” the commander said. “I am your superior in every way.”
“If you touch her, I will kill you here in this forest,” Detro said. “You may be superior to me, but I am younger and stronger than you. We are not easily matched. I would defeat you. You are not such a great warrior anymore.”
“You will pay for this, Detro,” he spat, and then stomped through the forest back to the camp. “Pack up,” he yelled, “we’re leaving.”
“You have to stop him, apologize,” I said, grabbing Detro’s arm.
“I will not,” he said.
“Please, Detro,” I begged. “Don’t let your pride get in the way of being smart. I couldn’t stand it if you were to lose everything for me.”
“And what should I do?” he demanded, spinning around to face me and ripping off his mask.
“Should I just stand aside while he has his way with you? Should I try to ignore your screams and your tears? Don’t you understand, Mereen? You are everything to me. You are the only thing I cannot stand to lose.”
Chapter Seven
The Goseb camp was packed up quickly, and within the hour they had taken to their ships and left. We moved more slowly. Detro was in no hurry to return to the ship and the angry communications that waited for him. Instead, he sat down in front of the fire and motioned for me to join him.
I couldn’t sit. Instead, I paced around the campfire, my arms crossed. Detro just stared into the fire, sipping slowly from a glass.
“Come, sit beside me,” he said.
“No!” I yelled, and when I looked at him he looked almost impressed. I had never spoken to him that way before, but I couldn’t stop now. “You have to do something about that,” I said, pointing to the ships. We could see them in the sky, quickly moving up and away from us.
“There is nothing to be done,” he said, with a shrug. “Commander Etan will only be pleased when he gets what he wants, and I won’t permit that. A stand has to be made. It can no longer be appropriate for the Gosebs to treat humans like they’re nothing. I won’t stand by and watch that happen.”
“But if he reports you to your superiors then you’ll be taken away. You won’t be able to fight anymore. You’ll be taken out of the game.”
“I’m not done,” he said. “I have more power and more supporters than Etan. This is only the start of the fight, not the end.”
I crossed my arms and stared into the thick jungle. I wished I had the skills to survive in the wild. I wanted to just run away into the forest, live in the vines, drink from streams, never get on a spaceship again. I took two steps toward the thick foliage but the faraway call of some large animal stopped me.
There was no running away. I could never escape the Gosebs. This was their planet. With their superior technology, they could find me in mere moments.
“Please stop worrying, Mereen,” he said.
“How can you say that?” I demanded. “How am I supposed to relax? The Gosebs are going to destroy everything you’ve built here. They’re going to take away the privileges you’ve given. Do you think they care that output is better? They like using us. They like abusing us. They like the power they hold over us more than efficiency. We’re going to lose everything and it’s all my fault.”
“It’s not your fault,” he said, with a shake of his head.
“Yes, it is. You’re doing this for me. I’m the entire reason the commander left so angry. You shouldn’t have stopped him.”
“Don’t ever say that,” he said, getting up and striding towards me. He took my shoulders in his hands and turned me until I was facing him. “You are worth everything to me.”
We were so close, only inches apart. His strong hands were the only thing I could focus on. It had been a long time since we had stood this close, since the first time we met when he took my chin in his hands.
Much had changed since that first day. I felt no fear with him. His strong arms were on mine, but I wasn’t afraid. If anything, I only felt safer. I reached up and put a hand on his chest. Gosebs had a similar makeup to humans. His heart was in the same place as mine. I could feel it thumping under my hand. He looked calm, but I knew it was just another mask he was wearing. His heart was pounding, thundering away in his chest like the galloping of a thousand horses.
“I hate that you’re my prisoner,” he said, and it felt like my heart was being torn in half. “I wish that I could claim you as my own. I wish that you could be free on my ship and go wherever you wanted. I don’t want to be with you like this. I want us to be equals.”
“It’s the only way,” I said. “Even you said that we should not expect to see peace within our lifetimes.”
“There is another way,” he said, and his voice was a low whisper. I could hear the call of animals, the crackle of the fire and the wind whispering through the trees. “Have you ever heard of the Sanctuary?”
I shook my head.
“I’m not surprised,” he said. “The Gosebs would never permit this rumor to spread amongst the humans.” He caressed my cheek with the back of his hand and said, “Please come and sit by the fire. You’re cold.”
We walked over together and sat down in comfortable chairs. Detro put a blanket over my shoulders and I stared into the fire as he spoke.
“Officially, the Sanctuary doesn’t exist,” he said. “The same way there is no human rebellion.”
“There is no human rebellion,” I said, looking at him in confusion.
“Of course there is,” he responded. “There’s a major battle being fought in your solar system as we speak. The humans have caught up to us, technologically. We no longer have the fastest ships and best weapons. There’s a resurgence happening. But the Gosebs are worried that if word spreads it will encourage the human prisoners to rebel. It’s better, to them, that you exist with no hope at all.”
“A real human rebellion,” I said, my eyes wide. “I’ve only ever lived under the Gosebs.” The world with just humans, the world where I could be free. I had heard so many stories about Earth. The great cities, the oceans, paintings and songs. But I thought it a faraway legend. A myth, nothing more.
“It’s true, and the Gosebs are getting worried. The rebellion isn’t their only worry. There’s also The Sanctuary. The Sanctuary is a far off system of seventeen planets circling a bright yellow sun. It’s very similar to Earth’s solar system. They’re building a new society there. A world where humans and Gosebs live in peace and equality. They are the ones funding the rebellion. They build the ships, take refugees and grow the food.”
“The Sanctuary,” I said quietly. “I’ve never heard anything about it.”
“It’s kept very secret,” he said. “I’ve debated telling you many times. But I don’t know where it is or how to get there. I didn’t want to fill you with false hope,” he said, shaking his head. “I don’t have any contacts in the rebellion. To get the location of the Sanctuary I would have to give up all of my work here. I had hoped to find some way to do both, but now... I feel I might be done with half-measures.”
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“I mean, how can I talk about treating your people better? You’re our prisoners, you have no rights. To pretend that we could slowly transition to equality is nonsense. All that does is make it easier for my people to rationalize destroying yours. It’s not good enough. It has to be all or nothing.”
“So you’re going to join the rebellion?” I asked him.
“Something has to be done,” he said. “I can’t live with you as my prisoner anymore. It’s killing me.”
“I don’t want to cause you pain,” I said.
He reached over and took my hand in his. He brought it to his head and kissed the back of my hand and then the palm. He held my hand like it was a delicate piece of porcelain, something to be worshiped. He treated my dry and chapped hands, which had only ever known hard work, like they were perfect.
“You are the only thing in my life that brings me joy,” he said.
I looked over at his face, lit gently by the warm fire. A tingle went up and down my back as he held onto my hand, stroking my knuckles with his thumb. There was a longing in me that I had never felt before. A stirring inside my stomach, a pull in his direction.
“If we went to the Sanctuary I wouldn’t be your prisoner anymore. I would be free,” I said. “We would be equals.”
“We are equal now,” he said. “In my eyes, you are far better than me.”
Now it was my turn. I brought his green hand up. He was still wearing the black gloves of his armor and I slowly removed it, revealing his green hand. One by one I kissed the pads of his fingers, as I looked into his violet eyes.
“Do you fear me?” he asked.
I shook my head. “I long for you,” I whispered. He took my hand and pulled me closer to him. His arms wrapped ar
ound my waist and he pulled me close. I looked up into his eyes and then his lips were on mine. I closed my eyes as his kiss crashed down on me.
Chapter Eight
My lips met his. His hands were on my chin, guiding me towards him. I opened my lips and our tongues danced together. Next to us the fire was dying down. It was nothing more than a few embers. But we had enough heat between us. We kissed deeply, my arms wrapped around his neck, pulling him closer to me.
He broke the kiss, but we remained connected, our foreheads touching. I could see right into his violet eyes. I could see the want and the need there.
“You don’t have to do anything-,” he started.
“I want to,” I interrupted. I was breathless. My heart was pounding. My face was flushed and hot but I wanted more. I had never been held like this. I had never felt so safe and protected. I wanted him. It was just that simple.
I had never wanted anyone else before. There had never been a man that had caught my eye. I thought I stayed away from men because I was worried I would lose them. But now I understood the real reason. I had been waiting for Detro. He was the man I belonged with. My heart and soul always knew.
I knew that I might lose him, but that only made our last moments together that much more precious. We didn’t have long. Every second was another second gone. I didn’t want to waste any of it.
I buried my hands in his hair. He sucked on my lower lip and I quivered in his arms. His kisses were passionate. He was consuming me and I let him. His hands were exploring up and down my body. He grabbed my hips, clutched at my thighs.
“Come with me,” he said. The fire was nearly dead, and in the darkness I took his hand and trusted him to lead me. We walked silently through the jungle towards his tent. He pushed the flap aside and I entered.