by Logan Jacobs
These little green vermin were smarter than I thought. They’d seen Trin snatch up the eggs, so they must have put two and two together and realized that was the reason we were chasing them. Now, they were using our own prized possessions as a weapon against us.
These things weren’t only intelligent, but they apparently also understood the concept of irony.
I pushed forward as I watched Jemma catch up to one of the thieves, and the auburn-haired beauty pulled back her foot like a soccer player and then slammed it square into the monkey’s rear.
The green creature let out a howl of pain as he was launched off the tree and released his grip on all of the eggs he’d stolen. The delicious brown ovals plummeted downward, but thankfully my team was already on it.
Nadir intentionally jumped down, grabbed onto a branch, and used it like a gymnast uses a horizontal bar. She used her momentum to throw herself forward, and then she scooped up the falling eggs before they could meet their gooey, gory fate.
“Haha!” the dark-haired Coonag proclaimed as she held the eggs up in a victory pose.
“You go, Nadir!” I cheered as I passed over the ecstatic woman.
However, we couldn’t celebrate just yet. There were still at least a dozen more of the green monkeys, and they all still had our eggs in their grubby mitts.
Suddenly, a few more of the eggs zipped past my head and splatted against the trunk of the nearby tree, but I ducked out of the way as I leapt to the next branch and brushed a few more vines out of my face.
That’s when it hit me. These were way more than just a bunch of foliage. I could use these things to my advantage.
I pulled out my seaglass sword, took aim, and lopped off the vine at the highest point I could reach. Then I caught the falling green crawler and whistled to the nearest Niralope.
Thornen and Nima both stopped their stride and turned to see what I needed, and I tossed them the long strand of vine and nodded toward the green monkeys.
“Do you think you can outrun them?” I asked.
“Sure,” Nima noted, “but I’m not sure what--”
“Just get ahead of them, and then use that vine to trip their feet,” I cut her off. “We don’t have any time to waste.”
Both of the Niralopes grinned as realization dawned on their faces. Then they gave each other a determined nod and ran off in the direction of the little green creatures.
I began to transverse the canopy once more, and I watched as Nima and Thornen galloped across the trees with purpose. They ran like sprinters in a hundred-meter dash as Nima took the vine and wrapped it around her shoulder, and then the two Niralope women split in opposite directions.
Soon, they reappeared a few hundred feet down the way, in front of the unsuspecting monkeys.
Nima tossed the end of the vine to Thornen, and then they both leaned backward and let gravity pull it taut.
The small green bastards didn’t even know what hit them. Five of the creatures smacked straight into the vine, and the impact knocked them off their feet and flipped them into the air. They screeched with surprise as they fell down the sides of the trees, and then they disappeared from sight.
The eggs they’d taken, however, had been knocked loose by the impact. So, Nima and Thornen dropped the vine and quickly grabbed as many of the airborne brown ovals as they could carry before they let out a happy laugh.
I ran past the two Niralopes as I continued the chase. Nadir and Brenna were both up ahead, and it looked like they were communicating to each other through looks alone. They were both nodding and shaking their heads as they ran, though no words seemed to be exchanged, but my theory was confirmed when I saw both of the warrior women draw their weapons in unison and then hasten their pace.
They’d both come a long way since the first time I’d met them, when one was a pacifist and the other was a crazed, violent killer. Now, the two women fought as one unit. As a team. As sisters from different species.
I watched in awe as Brenna and Nadir caught up to the green monkeys, though they both made sure they were far beyond the creatures’ reach. Instead of going in for the kill, they matched the little bastards’ stride and readied their weapons.
Brenna drew back her bow as she ran, while Nadir twirled her stone axe like a baton. Then they both released their attack, and the arrow and the axe stabbed into the tree trunks on opposite sides, less than a foot away from the monkeys’ path.
Two of the fleeing creatures were tripped up by the weapons’ hilts, and their little green bodies somersaulted through the air before smashing into another branch. The pain caused them to release their eggs, and Nadir caught them as she ran by on the next level of branches below.
Now, there were only a handful of the monkey-creatures left over, and they were becoming increasingly panicked. They knew we were gaining on them, and they knew we were going to put them in a world of hurt if we actually caught them.
The small green creatures began to hoot and howl as they picked up their pace, and I began to worry I wasn’t going to be able to catch up with them.
Then I realized I didn’t have to.
These monkey things may have been smart, but they were also extremely skittish. They had the mental capacity to understand where they could find chicken eggs, as well as the capacity to realize we were chasing them because they had taken our eggs.
Surely, they would be able to identify the sound of one of the deadliest creatures on the island. I’d heard George, Nixie, and their children make dragon hums a million times before, and by now I was sure I would be able to imitate it down to the very decibel. Or, at least, I’d be able to copy it well enough that the monkeys wouldn’t be able to tell the difference.
Still, it wasn’t going to do me any good to make the noise from back here. They were already running in the opposite direction from us, and scaring them at this point would only make them flee faster.
However, if I was able to somehow get ahead of these things, I could stop them in their tracks. They might have been afraid of us, but they would surely be more afraid of a dragon.
I thought about any way I could get up in front of our targets. Tirian and George were all the way back at the palace, too far away to call with our dragon bond. The Niralope women were able to keep stride with these creatures, but none of them were quite able to outrun them. Not to mention that if I tried to tag along on one of them for a ride, it would slow them down immensely.
Also, it would look and feel totally ridiculous.
I looked at my surroundings and tried to come up with something quick. Several branches looked sturdy enough to use as a makeshift pole vault, but there was a much bigger obstacle. The ground was hundreds of feet below, and trying to hit a rounded branch at just the right angle to get airborne would be a tricky, if not impossible, prospect.
All around me were vines exactly like the ones I’d swung on before. However, we were much closer to the tops of these trees, which meant I didn’t have much vine to work with if I wanted to try and swing forward.
But wait… I didn’t necessarily have to swing forward.
The vines assumedly dangled down for dozens, if not hundreds, of feet. If I took a running jump out to the side and swung out where there weren’t any tree trunks to get entangled on, I could use my momentum to get me out in front of our thieves. It would be just like a conical pendulum.
I guess that physics class I took in high school wasn’t so useless, after all.
“Keep after them,” I commanded the rest of my crew.
“Where are you going?” Brenna called out.
“I’m improvising.” I winked back over my shoulder, and then I took off at an angle.
This was a crazy idea, with a million different things that could go wrong. The vine could be too flimsy and snap. Or, it might not be long enough, and I could plummet to my death. Or, maybe worst of all, I could miss my mark by a mile and look like a complete fool.
Oh, well. It was too late to turn back now. For bette
r or for worse, I was going on a little ride.
I just hoped it was a ride forward, and not straight down.
Adrenaline pumped through my veins as I dashed across the branches of the trees at an angle. I locked onto the vine I was going to grab onto, and I refused to take my eyes off it as I ran toward it.
It was a fairly thick, mossy rope that appeared to cascade down the side of the tree for a decent length. I tried to trace its span downward, but it quickly became lost in the tangle of the other vines and branches below. Then I came within a few feet of the vine and prepared for the jump.
This was it, the moment of truth. This was the moment that would decide if my plan worked, or if I became nothing more than a mangled heap of blood and bones somewhere on the forest floor.
So, I sprang upward into the air, Tarzaned my hands around the vine, and held on for dear life. The branches above me creaked and groaned, which caused my heart to nearly flutter out of my chest, but my body flew outward, away from the tree, and then suddenly the vine went taut.
The second it tightened, it pulled itself forward and took me for a ride in an outward spin. My feet dangled behind my body like a ragdoll as the warm jungle air whipped through my hair, and I gripped the vine like my life depended on it. Finally, my feet found a branch, and I let go of the green rope.
I stumbled across a few branches before I slowed my momentum and caught my balance, but it looked like my plan had worked. The sounds of approaching, rustling footfalls echoed through the forest, but they were now far behind me.
I was way ahead of my friends and our fleeing targets.
Now, all I needed to do was pretend to be a water dragon. I may have had the acting skills of an elementary student putting on a Christmas play, but I knew I could at least do a convincing impression.
So, I cleared my throat, did a few vocal warm ups, and put my hands in a cup shape around my mouth. Then I let out a low, deep hum from the very bottom of my gut, interspersed with an occasional clicking noise.
“Is that… Ben?” I heard Nadir call out from afar.
Okay, maybe I was no Frank Caliendo, but I didn’t have to be. All I had to do was be convincing enough to the green monkeys for this to work.
I increased the volume of my sounds as I stomped my foot and tried to make myself sound angry.
The monkey creatures responded with loud, high-pitched shrieks, and their footfalls ceased.
“They’re stopping!” Nima’s voice gasped through the foliage. “They’re--”
“They’re turning around,” Nadir called out with pure glee in her voice. “Now’s our chance, ladies!”
I continued making the weak imitation of the water dragon as I heard my women terrorizing the monkey creatures through the dense foliage of the trees. Hisses and thumps intermingled with the scared shrieks of the small thieves, and I was sure my warriors were getting the job done.
“Son of an acorn-hoarder!” Lezan hissed. “That one’s getting away!”
One of the monkey creatures must have gotten brave, because suddenly the sound of his footfalls began again, and they were headed straight toward me. Then I saw a small ball of green fur burst through the foliage, with his arms and legs out in full attack mode.
The little bastard landed directly on my face, and I stumbled backward as I threw up my hands to keep his mouth away from my head. I didn’t know if these guys had sharp teeth or venomous fangs, and I fully didn’t intend to find out.
Still, the monkey was relentless, and he slammed all six of his arms into my body like a UFC fighter trying to pull off a grapple attack. His fists may have been tiny, but I’ll be damned if they didn’t sting as they slammed into my shoulders, neck, and upper back.
Try as I might to rip him off my face, he was stuck on me worse than gum on a hot city sidewalk. By the time I would pull a few of his furry arms off me, he would latch on with two more.
I didn’t want to kill the thing, but I was starting to think I had no other choice. I could easily snatch up my pink stone dagger from its sheath, stab it into the back of his spine, and then toss his limp body off to the side, but even then, it was a risky endeavor. The target area was squarely in front of my face, so if I stabbed too hard or if the little bugger moved at the last minute, I was going to find out what it felt like to have another hole in my head.
I guess the only way to safely get out of this non-lethally was to use my head, quite literally.
So, I craned my neck backward, stiffened all my muscles, and then rammed my head forward as hard as I could.
A short burst of pain shot through my skull when I headbutted the monkey-creature square in the stomach. My vision went wild with dark spots, and I swore I could feel my brain rattling around inside of my cranium.
However, the attack worked.
The creature howled with pain as it released its grip on my head and leaped back away from my body.
Before it could get away, I threw out my hands, wrapped them around two of its grubby arms, and halted the monkey’s momentum. Then I pulled back my foot behind my body, dropped it, and punted him like a football.
“Donkey Kong this, you little fucker!” I cried out as my foot connected with the fleshy part of its stomach.
The green creature yowled as it flew through the air, smashed into the trunk of a nearby tree, and then ricocheted off, but it caught itself on a nearby branch and scurried downward as quickly as he possibly could.
The second I knew I was in the clear, I sheathed my sword and turned back to my friends.
“Ben!” Nadir called out as she emerged through the thicket of the forest.
The other members of my team were right behind her, and each one held their arms across their chests like they were cradling a swaddled baby.
“How many eggs were we able to salvage?” I panted as I tried to catch my breath.
The tan, beautifully tall Brenna stood at the very back of the group with a makeshift basket made out of oversized leaves, and her eyes twinkled as she offered me the container, which itself was packed full with small brown ovals.
Eggs. Lots of them.
“I didn’t count,” the Niralope admitted, “but I’d guess we saved at least three dozen.”
“Not bad,” I admitted. “It’s not enough to feed the whole group, but it definitely is enough for Hali to whip up a few cakes or some sort of large breakfast skillet that could be shared with everyone. Honestly, considering we thought we were coming away empty-handed, I see this as a major win.”
“Now comes the fun part,” Jemma sighed as she turned back and stared across the forest canopy. “We have to find our way back to the palace.”
“It shouldn’t be very hard,” I explained and pointed in the direction from which we’d just come. “We didn’t really veer too far from the course. If we turn around and go in a straight line back the way we came, we should be back to the chicken coop in no time at all.”
“What about the giant ravine?” Thornen asked as she lowered her head and looked up at me with her soft green eyes. “How will we cross that again?”
“I’m glad you asked,” Trin spoke up with a large, sharp grin. “We Coonag women just so happen to be expert climbers. We made the jump with the vines before because we needed to keep up with those vermin, but if we are given enough time to make our move, we can climb up the side of the ravine.”
“How does that help us, though?” Jemma tapped on her chin.
“Once we’re on the other side, we can swing back over,” Nadir interjected. “And this time, we can hold onto the vines when we land.”
“Then we can all use them to go back to the other side!” I smiled. “Brilliant, Trin.”
The normally no-nonsense Trin seemed to gasp at my compliment, and then she tried to keep her composure as her face turned a slight shade of red.
“Thank you, Draco Rex,” she mumbled.
“Ben,” I corrected her. “Just call me Ben.”
Trin nodded her gray head and then averted
her eyes.
“Let’s get a move on it,” I said as I spun my finger in a circle. “I don’t want Nerissa thinking we got lost.”
The group of warrior women and I made our way back toward the west, and this time we made sure to be much more careful of where we stepped. Now that I was actually taking my time, I could see how dangerous of a terrain we had just gone across.
Several of the branches appeared to be broken or dead, while there were dozens of tripping hazards all around in the form of wooden knots and tangled heaps of vines. It was a wonder none of us fell.
Maybe Oshun and Nira were really looking out for us, just like these women always liked to tell me.
Soon, we came to the edge of the tree line, where we could look out over the ravine we’d crossed earlier. Without a moment’s hesitation, the Coonag women took a few steps back, drew their axes, let out a battle cry, and took a running jump off the side of the trees.
“What in Nira’s name!” Nima gasped as she watched them hurling toward the side of the rocky cliff.
The Coonag women plummeted downward at an angle for a few seconds before they hit the side of the cliff. They then stabbed their axes into the cliffside, used it to slow their momentum to a crawl, and reached out for anything they could grab onto. We all watched in awe as the Coonag women scurried up the side of the rocky ravine as if it were nothing more than the playground equipment you’d find in a McDonalds. Soon, their figures hoisted themselves up onto solid ground, and they began to inspect the vines closest to the dropoff. Finally, we saw them all disappear into the foliage of the tree line.
A few seconds later, another Coonag battle cry rang out, and they all burst through the forest line like a group of bats out of hell. At the last second, they jumped up, grabbed onto the vines they’d selected, and swung over to our position.
“Somebody need a lift?” Lezan giggled as she planted her feet on the branch in front of me.
One-by-one, we all paired up with one of the Coonag women, who then swung us back across to the other side of the ravine. We didn’t have as much momentum as before, so the vine simply moved back over until it was a few dozen feet down from the edge. So, each one of us had to climb up the vine like it was the safety rope of a rock-climbing session.