by Claire Adams
It was hard to know what to do. There was no reason we couldn’t be together.
I understood that Emily pushed me away because of Lionel’s threat, but I also wondered if she thought there was nothing there in our relationship to save.
I tapped over to my contacts list on my phone, my finger hovering over her name, hesitating.
The question of whether I should call Emily hung in my mind. I wanted to contact her, wanted to help her understand that I was only angry at Lionel and not her. I wasn’t sure if she thought I was mad at her or not, but it might explain why she hadn’t contacted me.
Another part of me fought against calling her. If I called her and she turned me down again, that would mark the end of any relationship. It’d be time for me to move on, or at least go back to what I had before. In other words, go back to having nothing and no one.
What were we together? I really didn’t know. Lovers? Friends with benefits? Friends with temporary benefits?
I knew I loved Emily. I had no doubt of that. That hadn’t changed because she pushed me away. It wasn’t her fault.
What she wanted from me remained unclear. No matter how much I wanted to blame Lionel, the truth was that even before he’d threatened her, we’d never clarified what our relationship was.
I sighed and tossed my phone on a nearby table. No. I’d reached out to her, and I’d passed along my information to help her case. I’d done everything I could to show Emily how I felt. If she wanted more, she’d call me.
After standing, I made my way to my front door. A little walk around the neighborhood might clear my head. If that didn’t work, maybe I’d go for a drive.
I spotted Joe and Dean sleeping in the foyer. I chuckled, having not known before where they’d ended up. I didn’t bother to wake them. It’d be hard to clear my head if I was trying to concentrate on entertaining the boys.
My hand was just about to grab the door handle when my doorbell chimed. The boys both hopped up from their sleep. They took a few steps back and barked at the door.
I stared at the door handle and then shook my head. We didn’t get solicitors in this neighborhood. At least I’d never seen one. Who the heck had shown up at my front door?
I opened the door. My heart kicked up, and my eyes widened.
Emily was standing on my porch. Juniper was standing beside her, bouncing up and down and waving.
Before I could even say anything, the little girl rushed over to wrap her arms around my legs. I leaned over to hug her back and then patted her on the head.
Joe and Dean barked. She squealed and let go of my legs. She hurried over to hug the dogs. The boys barked, their tails wagging furiously.
“Why don’t you take them out back and help them run around for a bit?” I said. “They could use the exercise.”
Juniper let go of the dogs and rushed toward the back door. The black labs chased after her. The sounds of happy barking and laughter grew distant as the trio headed toward the back.
The girl’s departure left me alone with Emily. We stood there on my porch, staring at each other, neither of us saying a word.
There were so many things I wanted to say swirling in my mind, but I couldn’t push anything out. I wasn’t sure how to even begin.
“We should go to the kitchen so we can watch Juniper,” Emily said softly. “Just in case.”
“Sure,” I said, gesturing inside. “That’s a good idea.”
We made our way to the kitchen in silence through the foyer, the living room, the dining room, and finally the kitchen. We both took a seat at the kitchen table.
We watched Juniper through the glass back door. She ran around with the dogs, pure joy on her face. The dogs looked to be having a great time as well.
The sight washed away some of my discomfort. The innocence and happiness of a little girl playing with two happy dogs was the opposite of all the suffering and pain that we’d dealt with because of one self-centered man. Damn Lionel.
“So, uh,” I managed to say, “I understand you went to see your lawyer yesterday.”
“I’ll have temporary full custody by Monday,” she said, still watching Juniper. “Just need a judge to sign off on it, but Lionel’s already signed, and even his lawyer made it clear to him he doesn’t have much of a case.”
I glanced out the window at Juniper. She threw a stick and then laughed and clapped her hands as the dogs rushed for it, each trying to get to it first.
“Then he can’t control you anymore,” I said quietly. “It’s over.”
Emily gave me a shallow nod. “Yesterday was the big showdown. I had all sorts of evidence that I hadn’t used before, including pictures that proved he’d been using cocaine.”
I opened my mouth to ask about that but stopped at her raised hand.
“I know it was stupid not to do it before.” Emily sighed. “I thought I was doing what was best for Juniper. Maybe that was wrong, but it is what it is.” She tucked a strand of brown hair behind her ear and stared at me with those beautiful hazel eyes. “What surprised me more was that my lawyer received a bunch of last minute information about Lionel’s finances and his girlfriend.”
“I asked around,” I said with a shrug. “I didn’t know what else to do. Once I found out about Lionel threatening to take Juniper, I figured your lawyer needed to know what I’d heard.”
Emily looked down at the table. “I didn’t know about his girlfriend or the insider trading or fraud when I set up the meeting. I hoped using the pictures and other evidence would be enough. Once George started talking about that stuff, everything Lionel had been doing lately made sense.” She let out a long sigh. “But it’s over now.” She looked up at me. “If you know about my case, then I guess Mama must have told you or your mother. Do you know about some of the other things?”
“I know how you brought the money to the marriage, if that’s what you’re getting at, and how Lionel probably wanted it.”
Emily let out a quiet chuckle. “I never thought it’d be a problem. I believed in love, and that I loved him.” She shook her head. “But I was an idiot. I don’t know now if he ever really loved me. I was naïve.”
“And now?”
Emily furrowed her brow. “What about now?”
I glanced to the side for a moment before returning my attention to her. “It hurt when you drove me away. Almost destroyed me. I’ve never been married. Plenty of relationships, but none where I really cared that much.”
Emily closed her eyes and shook her head. “I know it hurt, Logan. I know. I’m sorry. I didn’t know what else to do. I panicked, and I thought he’d be able to take Juniper from me. All I can do is apologize.”
“I’m not mad about that, Emily.” I kept my voice very calm as I spoke. “I understand why you had to do what you did. It doesn’t matter anyway. I’m less interested in the past as in the future.”
“What do you mean?”
I took a deep breath. Did I want to risk the beginning of the end? Yes, because the only way I could push beyond this strange quasi-relationship was to risk everything.
“I need to know what we are. What we are doing?” I shook my head. “I know what you said in Japan, but after Juniper got sick, everything changed. Or at least I thought it did. Lionel screwed everything up, but he’s out of the picture.”
Emily stared at me, silent for a long while before finally speaking. “I don’t know what we are.”
“I know some things.” I reached over and took her hand in mine. “I know I love you, and I’m tired of hiding or pretending otherwise. After everything you’ve been through, I know you need a man who respects you.”
Emily bit her lip, her eyes wide. “I’m not sure about anything, but I don’t want to push you away. Can’t we just continue doing what we have been doing?”
I nodded slowly and offered her a smile. Now the truth was out there. I wasn’t sure if she loved me yet, but she wasn’t running away screaming either.
“Stay for dinner,” I sa
id. “That’s not too much.”
“We can do that.”
Hell, I wanted her to stay forever, but that would probably be a bit too much.
After realizing I didn’t exactly have food for three, including a little girl, I added, “Is cheese pizza okay? I can order some.”
Emily laughed. “I don’t think Juniper’s going to complain.”
We both looked out as Juniper ran in circles, her arms in the air, the dogs barking and chasing after her.
Glancing between mother and daughter, I knew then that everything was going to be all right.
Chapter Thirty-seven
EMILY
After we’d finished our cheese pizza, I collected the plates to put in the dishwasher. Juniper rushed into the living room to play with the dogs. If I’d known how much she would have loved playing with dogs, I would have gotten her one years earlier.
“I’m not a big pizza guy,” Logan said, “but that tasted pretty good.”
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen such a surprised pizza delivery guy,” I said, laughing. “It was funny how confused that poor guy was.”
I thought back to when Logan opened the door. The delivery guy said the address three times and asked us to confirm, and when Logan confirmed it, the man then asked twice to make sure Logan had actually ordered the pizza. The man seemed convinced the whole thing was some sort of elaborate practical joke.
“He said he’d never delivered a pizza to any house in this neighborhood,” I added. “You really think that’s true?”
“I guess nobody orders in this neighborhood,” Logan said with a shrug. “Never really thought about it. After all, Arla makes most of my meals.”
“Must be not much of a pizza place, I suppose.” I smiled. “Now that I think about it, when I was growing up, my parents never ordered pizza. I’d had it, of course, but I don’t think I actually ordered it until I was in college.”
Logan grinned. “Same here.”
“Well, at least he’ll have a story about how he delivered pizza to a billionaire. It’ll be a fun story to tell some friends over a beer.”
We both shared a laugh, but then a serious expression darkened his face.
“Is that what I am to you?” Logan asked.
“What?”
“A billionaire?”
I put some soap on my hands and started washing them. Looking over my shoulder, I said, “You’re a billionaire. You’re handsome, kind, loving, and a number of other great things. You being a billionaire is a bonus.”
“A bonus?” He grinned broadly. “That’s a pretty big bonus.”
“Remember, I didn’t exactly grow up poor there.”
“So, you’re not impressed I’m a billionaire?”
I winked. “It doesn’t hurt, but I think the bigger bonus is how you’re so good to Juniper.” I smiled in the direction of the living room. “I’ve never seen her take such a liking to someone as quickly as she did you.” I peered at him. “Do other kids like you?”
Logan chuckled. “I’ve barely spent time around other kids, so I don’t know. Maybe she just likes my dogs.”
“She liked you from the first time you met.” I tilted my head, listening. No barking. No laughing. No giggling. Though no crashing either.
“What’s wrong?” Logan asked.
“Nothing, it’s just quiet.” I held up a finger. “Way too quiet.”
“What?” Logan gave me a quizzical look. “How can it be too quiet? You want it noisier?”
I shrugged. “I don’t hear Juniper or the dogs.”
“Isn’t that a good thing? Maybe she’s just talking at them quietly.”
I smirked and headed toward the living room, shaking my head. “You don’t get this because you haven’t spent a lot of time around kids, but when you don’t hear a kid, that is when the worst things are happening.”
Walking toward the living room, I strained to hear something shattering or Juniper crying. Raising a rambunctious little girl could be an adventure even in my own house, let alone in the house of a billionaire bachelor without kids.
We arrived in the living room, and my heart melted at the sight before me.
Joe and Dean lay sleeping on the couch, Juniper between them, already fast asleep herself. She had one arm on each dog.
“She’s still recovering and tires out easily,” I said. I walked over to smile down at her. “But seeing her cuddled up with these dogs is one of the most adorable things I’ve seen in a while.”
“How long will she be out?” Logan said.
“Probably until the morning.”
“Not just a nap then.”
“Nope.”
“You can stay the night if you want.”
I shook my head. “Not really prepared for that. Don’t have PJs for Juniper and that sort of thing.” I walked over to Logan and lightly kissed him on the lips. “Next time, I will though. I promise. It’ll be fun, I’m sure.”
Logan kissed me back before taking one of my hands and tugging me toward the stairs. “Then at least let me show you my bedroom. I can show you some fun now.”
“Your bedroom?” I let a little giggle.
“Why not? Juniper’s asleep, and you said she’s down until the morning.” He quirked a brow. “Problem?”
I thought it over and shook my head. “No. I’d love to see your bedroom. Lead on.”
We headed up the stairs in silence. He led me into his surprisingly sparse room. His huge bed dominated the center, but other than a desk with a computer in the corner and a nightstand, there was almost nothing else. The blue color was too dark, too severe. The whole thing cried out for a woman’s touch.
Logan let go of my hand and pulled me against him. I sucked in a breath as my breasts pressed against his chest.
I’d not expected to have sex with him during my visit, but I certainly wasn’t going to pass up the chance either. The last time we’d slept together seemed so long ago. Those memories were also buried behind a curtain of Lionel-caused pain.
It was time to make some new memories now that I was free of my ex-husband’s influence. It was time to show Logan how I felt with my body.
Before I could say anything, Logan’s mouth was on mine, his eager tongue parting my lips. Our tongues swirled and twined together at a leisurely pace. His hands trailed down my sides, caressing gently as he tasted my mouth.
Logan sat on the bed, pulling me into a sitting position on his lap but still facing me. His strong hands moved to my waist to support me as our tongues continued to slide against each other. I inhaled deeply, taking in the earthy scent of his shampoo.
His mouth pulled away from mine. I missed its absence. I didn’t have to wait long for something more.
Leaning over, Logan nibbled on my earlobe before trailing kisses down the sensitive part of my neck. I let out an appreciative murmur. He nuzzled my neck, and then his fingers started unbuttoning my shirt. My heart sped up.
I didn’t stop him. I just waited until he’d finished his work, and then I lifted my arms to pull off my shirt. I hopped off Logan for a moment to wiggle out of my skirt as well, leaving me in my panties and bra.
Logan took the opportunity to get out of his own clothes. I watched him as I unfastened my bra and let it drop to the ground, freeing my breasts. My bra hit the ground almost the same time his underwear did. My panties soon joined my bra.
We stood there for a few moments, both looking at each other naked. I took several deep breaths as I watched his hungry dark gaze roam over my body.
I didn’t feel any embarrassment. If anything, I felt the opposite. My nipples hardened, and I licked my lips, already imagining all the things we could do together.
I stepped forward and straddled his lap again, lowering my mouth to his and now loving the feel of my hardened nipples against his chest. His hands slipped to my ass and squeezed.
His mouth attacked my neck again, and I let out a quiet moan.
Logan’s hands drifted up from my ass to my
thighs, skimming my stomach, before they found my breasts. I bit my lip at the touch of his rough fingers on the soft skin of my breasts.
“You’re beautiful, Emily,” Logan whispered while he squeezed me. I sucked in sharply as he flicked my nipples with his thumbs. “Beautiful and perfect in every way.”
When he said it, I believed every word. He made me feel like a model.
I leaned back to give him easier access to my chest. He kneaded my breasts together with his strong hands. Warmth pooled in my center, and I wrapped my arms around his neck before letting out another quiet moan.
I had no idea how much time passed as he worked his fingers, teased and pinched my breasts and nipples. Logan leaned over, opening his mouth. I arched my back to meet him, and my hardened peak entered his mouth.
His tongue flicked and lapped at my nipple, pulling out a long moan from my mouth. His hard length brushed against my already wet center. His mouth pleased me for a long while before he lifted his mouth toward my ear.
“I want to be inside you, Emily,” he whispered. “I want to pleasure you even more.”
I nodded once, my whole body burning with desire. I swallowed once and then lifted myself over his hardened shaft. I closed my eyes and lowered myself onto him, inching down on him slowly, deliberately. He stretched my insides as I pushed down until I was fully seated.
I braced myself with my arms on either side and lifted myself slowly, his thick shaft rubbing my insides before I slammed down once.
Logan let out a grunt. He reached up to squeeze my breasts. I moaned and lifted myself and pushed down again, this time faster. I sped up. Then, I moved even faster.
After a good twenty seconds of my motion, Logan thrust up, his cock pushing even deeper into me. I let out a loud moan as we matched our rhythms, the pressure steadily building inside me.
In Tokyo, the sex was great, but I’d sealed it away from my heart, desperate not to let it influence me. Now, joined together, my body burning with passion, I fully opened the door to my heart.
I loved Logan Hawkins. I wanted him to be part of my life.