by Claire Adams
At first, after Jack had left my office, I'd wondered if I was going to get fired. But then as I thought more about it, I couldn't figure out why he hadn't said more afterward. He'd held back and then just left the office rather than taking charge and sweeping me off my feet.
"Okay, get a grip, Walsh," I muttered to myself as I walked the few blocks between the train station and the house. "We're in the 21st century, after all. Guys don't always take control. Sometimes women have to."
I continued the self-therapy session until I opened the front door and found Mama standing over Riley shouting at her.
"You stupid, good for nothing, useless idiot!" Mama yelled. "What in the hell is wrong with you? Answer me!"
Riley sat on the tile floor in the entryway with her back against the wall. She was staring straight ahead her arms wrapped around her knees, which were pulled up against her chest. Her mute response told me that she'd disappeared somewhere in her mind.
"Mama! What are you doing?" I shouted as I pushed the door closed behind me. The house looked like a tornado had gone through it while I'd been a work. There were dishes piled up on the coffee table, several vodka bottles under it, and all of Mama's bedding on the couch. It looked like she'd permanently relocated to the living room.
"This stupid child dumped the last of my bottle into the sink while I was sleeping!" she yelled. "That was money she poured down the drain, and now I have to go get more!"
"First of all, dial it down a notch, Mama," I said sternly. "She's not stupid. Second, if she did do it, then she's just looking out for you."
"By destroying my property?" Mama shouted, completely disregarding my desire to try and have a reasonable conversation. "She's an ungrateful, little bitch and I'm sick of this shit!"
"Mama," I warned. "In this house we talk to each other with respect, not insults."
"Oh do shut the fuck up, Leah," my mother said waving her hand in front of my face. It was the last straw. I grabbed my mother by the collar of her dirty polo shirt and pushed her all the way back to the couch where I shoved her hard enough to send her sprawling back into the messy lump of bedclothes that lined the couch.
"What the fuck?" my mother yelled in outrage.
"No! You sit down and listen to me, lady!" I growled. "I've had enough of your shit, and now we're going to have the talk we should have had long ago. You are a drunk, Mama. You are an alcoholic, and you are drinking yourself into an early grave. It has to stop!"
"Who are you getting into everyone's business, little Miss Nosy Pants?" my mother retorted. "It's not like you're so perfect."
"I never said I was, but you've been abusive for long enough," I said. "You never cut me any slack or see any of the work I put into keeping this family together!"
"Oh, boo-hoo," she mocked. "You're upset because you had to step up and take charge. Well, welcome to the real world, girl. We all have to be the bosses of our own big selves."
"What is wrong with you?" I whispered horrified by the unbridled meanness coming out of my mother's mouth. I knew she'd been unhappy, but I didn't know to what extent. "How can you talk to us like this?"
"How can I talk to you like this?" she laughed. "Oh that's a good one, Leah. How can I talk to you like this? After all of the crap I put up with, and you wonder why I'm angry? You children sucked the life out of me. You ruined my chances of ever having an acting career—or any career, really—and now you want to know why I'm angry and resentful."
"Mama, stop . . ." I said as I realized that Riley was still sitting on the floor in the entryway. "Please don't do this."
"You started it, Leah," she said narrowing her eyes before she grabbed the glass sitting in front of her and took a big swig. "You and that useless sister of yours. At least you stuck around to try and clean up her mess."
"Mama! Enough!" I shouted. "That's enough!"
"And that one," she said pointing at Riley who now had her head pressed against her knees. "She's headed down the same exact road as her mother. Might as well just toss her out into the streets right now. She's going to wind up there sooner or later. Might as well save time."
"MAMA! SHUT THE HELL UP!" I screamed as I turned and ran to Riley. I pulled her up off of the floor and gathered her in my arms before walking her upstairs to her bedroom. I whispered quietly as we walked, "She's not in her right mind. She's drunk, and she doesn't know what she's saying. Don’t believe a word she says, Riley. Do you hear me?"
Riley nodded, but didn't say a word. I could see the storm building inside her. She was just like her mother in that way, and I was thankful that I recognized what was going on. I sat Riley down on the bed, closed her door, and returned to kneel in front of her.
"Riley, this is not your life," I said as I took her hands in mine and gripped them tightly. "This is not how it's going to be forever. I'm going to get Gram some help, and you and I are going to have some peace around here. Do you understand?"
Riley nodded again, but remained mute.
"Your mother was a good person, and she did everything she could to keep you safe," I said as I looked up at her. The tears began to drip down her cheeks as I reminded her of how much Molly had loved her and how hard she'd fought. "You know this, right? You're not a bad person, Riley."
"Yes, I am!" she wailed. The declaration surprised me, and I hopped up off of the floor and sat next to her on the bed wrapping my arms around her. "I'm a bad person, Leah! Gram isn't lying. I got kicked out of school."
"What do you mean?" I asked. Riley got up off of the bed and walked over to her backpack. She unzipped it and removed a sheet of paper from the pack and handed it to me.
"I got suspended," she said flatly.
I took the letter from her and read over it. She'd been suspended for fighting and would not be allowed to return to class for a week. I looked down at her, feeling helpless and very alone. I saw that she had collapsed into a pile on the floor. I moved off of the bed and sat down next to her, rubbing her back as she cried.
"Riley, we'll figure it out," I said. "I'm not going to leave you. We'll figure this out, together. You hear me?"
All I got in response was a small nod of her head, but that was enough to steel my nerves. As I sat on the floor waiting for the sobs to subside, I mapped the next steps that I would take.
Riley would not be the one to pay the price for my mother's pain.
Chapter Nineteen
Jack
When I got home from work, I pulled on my running gear and went out to clear my mind. I couldn't stop thinking about Leah's lips on mine, and how badly I'd wanted to do more than just kiss her. I'd been chastising myself for not taking advantage of her forwardness, but there was something in me that knew better than to do that.
The question was: why had I held back?
I'd never been shy about sex with anyone, Sloan especially, but she was a whole different matter. I'd always enjoyed sex anywhere and everywhere I'd wanted it, so not following my desire this afternoon—especially after Sloan had gotten me worked up—was confusing. As I ran, I told myself that the reason I'd held back was because I didn't know what Leah wanted and I didn't want to risk any kind of accusations of impropriety.
"I want out of this damn business," I exhaled as I ran. "I don't need to get tied up in a problematic office romance."
Satisfied with my rationalization, I turned and headed back towards home. On the way back, I tried to come up with a way to keep Sloan at a distance. I didn't mind serving her needs every now and again, but it was going to become problematic if she started pushing the boundaries. I could draw all the boundaries I wanted, but when it came down to it, she was still an attractive woman who turned me on, and even I had limits. I came up with a solution that I thought would work and, as I ran up the front drive, I felt satisfied that I'd solved the two most pressing issues.
As I rounded the drive, I saw Sloan's car parked in front of the house and groaned inwardly. I'd been looking forward to meeting up with Brittany, one of the attractive you
ng women who'd accompanied me to the Mediterranean, at a club in Brooklyn. I figured it would kill two birds with one stone by getting me out of the house for a night of fun and relaxation and, hopefully, release some sexual tension. Sloan threw a wrench in the plan.
"What are you doing here?" I blurted out as I entered the sitting room, still sweaty from my run.
"Well, hello, darling," my mother smiled. "Look who stopped by to visit!"
"I see. What are you doing here, Sloan?" I repeated as I stared pointedly at her.
"Is that any way to greet your business partner?" she asked as she turned and looked up at me. With her back to my mother, she gave me the once over with her hungry roving eyes then licked her lips as she stared at my crotch. I knew that I wasn't going to be able to control the response she was looking to generate, so I moved back toward the hall.
"I'm going to go shower," I said.
"Will you join us for dinner, Jack?" my mother asked. "Sloan is staying and the cook made your favorite!"
I rolled my eyes, but didn't respond. I wasn't sure what I was going to do yet but, by the time I'd showered and changed, I knew there was no way in hell I was going to leave Sloan alone with my mother.
All through dinner, Sloan made subtle comments about what a great partnership we had and how well we worked together.
"You two do make a lovely couple, dear," my mother said, smiling across the table at me. "Your father would have absolutely approved."
"I see," I said, looking down at the poached salmon and steamed asparagus on my plate. My mother was right, it was my favorite, but tonight I didn't feel much like eating. "Well, you know how much his approval means to me."
"Don't be rude, dear," my mother scolded as she held up her wine glass for a refill. "We have a guest."
"Sloan isn't a guest, she's like family, Mother," I said sticking a fork into the fish as I decided to eat, hungry or not. "Besides, she knows what a miserable bastard Pop was. Don't you, Sloan? Mother drinks to cover it all up, but we know the truth."
"Jack, there's no need to be rude," Sloan said quietly as she ate her dinner.
The rest of the meal was passed with uncomfortable small talk as my mother proceeded to drink herself into a state of numbness yet again. I watched as Sloan carried the conversation as best she could and, once the dishes were cleared, I excused myself. Sloan followed me to the front hallway.
"Why do you have to be so miserable to your mother?" she whispered. "Don't you think she's suffered enough?"
"Why are we all pretending that my father was a wonderful man who left nothing but happy memories for us all?" I shot back. "I'm sick of the lies. Can't you see how miserable she is? It's been that way for years."
"You're just mad because you're pent up," she said, sliding her hand between my thighs and feeling me instantly respond.
"Stop it, Sloan," I growled. "This is unacceptable."
"This is?" she asked as she rubbed my crotch and felt me harden at her touch. "Are you sure?"
"Sloan . . ." I warned. "Knock it off!"
"Mmm, you know what I'd like to do with this?" she whispered as she moved her hand to the zipper of my pants. I grabbed her wrist and pulled her hand away as I twisted it. She cried out, "Ouch, you're hurting me!"
"Good, then maybe it will finally get through your thick skull that no means no," I hissed. "I told you what the deal was, Sloan. Now stop pushing me or I'll be forced to deal with you in a way that you won't like."
"Oooh, you'll get rough with me?" she chortled as she leaned in close enough for me to feel her breath on my lips.
"No, I'll fire you," I said bluntly. "I'll remove you from the company and keep you from being anywhere near me ever again."
She narrowed her icy-blue eyes as she stepped back and stared at me. "I see. Is this how we're going to do it?"
"I told you what the deal was, Sloan," I said stepping away from her. "You agreed, and now you're going back on the deal. If you violate our terms, there will be consequences. Do you understand?"
"Oh, I understand all right," she said. "But I'm not sure you understand exactly who you're dealing with, my friend."
"I know all too well, believe me," I said through clenched teeth.
"I don't think you do," she replied before turning on her heel and returning to the dining room where my mother sat waiting for coffee to be served.
I shook my head as I opened the door and headed out to the car. Jimmy was waiting and, once I told him where we were headed, he raised the window between us and let me sit back in peace as he drove me to the club.
*
I found Brittany standing with her back to the front door, moving her ass to the beat of the electronic music that poured from the club speakers. She was wearing a sliver dress that revealed more of her tanned body than it covered.
"Jack, you made it!" she shouted over the throbbing beat as she moved in close and rubbed her enormous breasts against my chest. I felt myself aching for the release that I wouldn't allow myself with Sloan.
"I did, indeed. Care to help a fellow out as a reward?" I said grinning as I moved her hand down between my legs. She looked up at me wide-eyed and excited as she nodded and took my hand.
She led me across the dance floor to one of the many bathrooms that the club had installed specifically for this purpose. I threw up a thank you to the club owner as Brittany pulled me into the first empty bathroom she found, slammed the door shut, and locked it behind her.
"You know how I like it, Jack," she purred as she pressed her body against mine. "Do it the way I like it."
I did indeed knew how she liked it, so I reached out and grabbed a fist full of the long, blonde hair that fell in waves down her back and pulled her head back as she moaned softly. Brittany liked it rough.
I spun her around and pushed her up against the wall as I rubbed my crotch against her ass. She moaned louder as I reached around and pulled her breasts out of the front of her dress and squeezed her nipples harder and harder until she cried out, begging me to take her right there.
I wasn't sure how much longer I could hold out given the amount of torture that Sloan had administered at the house, but I tried to hold back long enough to ensure that Brittany was getting what she needed.
"Jack, I need it! I need it!" she cried as I held her hands above her head and ran my hand down her body and up under her short skirt. She begged me louder as she pushed her ass against me, "Please! Please!"
Holding her by her wrists, I spun her around and bent her over the counter next to the sink before grabbing a condom from the jar on the shelf.
"Don't move," I growled as I let go of her wrists long enough to unzip my pants and roll the latex barrier on my engorged shaft. Brittany writhed under me, but she stayed put until I was ready. Then, with one hand I held her down on the counter, and I used my knee to force her legs apart as I yanked her skirt up and thrust inside her as I began pounding her fast and deep, just the way she liked it. I could feel her wet warmth enveloping me as I slammed into her over and over.
"Oh God! Right there! Right there! Right there!" Brittany screamed as I hit her G-spot again and again. I could feel her on the edge of an intense orgasm, and I knew from our past experiences that in order to get her there, I was going to have to drive harder and deeper.
I picked up the pace and thrust into her faster and faster as I felt her passing the point of no return. In an instant, she tightened around me and I heard a low deep groan pushed forth from somewhere deep inside. She shoved her ass back against me as she pulsed and rocked, screaming out how good it felt and begging me not to stop.
I kept thrusting, but whereas our previous experiences had ended with me reaching a climax not long after she had, tonight I couldn't find the edge. I was still rock hard and pumping as hard as I could, but I nothing followed. After a few minutes, Brittany looked over her shoulder confused and asked, "Are you okay, Jack?"
"Yeah, fine," I grumbled as I slowed and then stopped. "Too much wine at dinne
r, I think."
"Oh, yeah, that happens to me, too!" she said brightly. I pulled out and disposed of the condom as she adjusted her dress and checked her makeup in the mirror. "Well, let's go dance and have a drink or something, and then we'll do it again!"
"Yeah, again," I nodded as I washed my hands and followed her back to the bar.
For the rest of the evening, Brittany did her best to get my engine revving again but, as much as I tried to indulge her, I knew something had shifted in me. I just wasn't sure what it was.
Chapter Twenty
Leah
I held Riley until she cried herself to sleep, then I got up and made a phone call before going into the living room where my mother lay sprawled out on the sofa with a glass of vodka in one hand and a cigarette in the other. I stood staring at her until she turned her head to look at me.
"What the hell is your problem?" she barked as she raised the glass to her lips and drank deeply.
"You are my problem, Mama," I said quietly. "You've been the problem for a long time, and I'm sick and tired of it. You're not going to ruin Riley's life the way you ruined Molly's."
"Why, you ungrateful little bitch!" my mother spat as she pulled herself up to a sitting position. "I've done everything for you, and this is how you repay me?"
"What have you done for me, Mama?" I replied in a calm voice. I knew what was coming next, and I knew how I was going to change the script. "Tell me, Mama."
"I gave birth to you. I raised you, put clothes on your back and food in your mouth," she rattled off the list of things she'd done, "and I'm your mother."
"You did do those things, and I'm grateful for what you did to get me to this point, but you're sick, Mama," I said as I leaned against the wall, feeling nothing but pity for her. "You're angry and sad, and you took your feelings out on Molly and Patrick and me. Molly didn't make it, but Patrick and I did, and I'm not going to let you drive Riley into the same place that Molly went, Mama. I'm just not going to allow it."
"And what are you going to do, Little Miss Smarty Pants?" she taunted. "You think you can raise a twelve-year-old all by yourself? Good luck with that, sweetheart. You have no idea what it means to do that kind of hard work."