by Claire Adams
"Do you think Mama wants any of this?" Patrick asked as he kicked a pile of clothing that lay on the floor. "What a dump."
"Shut up," I said as I looked around. "You got out, so just shut up."
"What? You think it didn't affect me?" he shot back suddenly hostile and angry. "You think that just because I left, I forgot what it was like living with . . . her?"
"No, I don't think you forgot, I think you just put us out of your mind and moved on!" I shouted. "Quit acting like you're the only one who was affected by all of this, Patrick. You might be a priest, but you make a lousy martyr."
"That's what you think I'm aiming for?" he said staring at me in disbelief. "You think I want to be a martyr? Well, let me tell you something, little sister, I never ever wanted to be a martyr. I think that was your goal."
"What the hell is wrong with you?" I shouted. "I'm the one who stayed!"
"My point exactly," he said looking away. "You stayed and tried to fix everything, but instead you made it all worse."
"I made it worse? How in the hell did I make anything worse than it already was?" I yelled. "You walked away and left us behind! You just checked out of the family and left me to clean up the mess that was left! You are my older brother! You were supposed to protect me!"
"I know, and I'm sorry that I didn’t do that," he said bowing his head. "But I didn't know how else to survive."
Patrick looked at me with tears welling up in his eyes. I shook my head, trying to maintain my self-righteous anger so that I wouldn't go down the path that would invariably lead to self-pity and sadness. I was angry at him for leaving me alone with Mama.
"Leah, I didn't know how I could survive if I stayed here," he said quietly. "She hates me. She's always hated me."
"Mama does not hate you," I said.
"Yeah, she does," he nodded. "She told me so. Numerous times. She said I remind her of him and that she hates us both."
"Patrick, that's crazy talk," I said waving him off, but knowing deep down that he was right. Mama hated our father more than anyone on Earth, and she had been very vocal about that fact all our lives. He'd abandoned the family and then died before he had a chance to find peace.
"It's not crazy talk, Leah," he said as he dug through the closet looking for anything that might be salvageable. "It is what it is. I've accepted it, and I've moved forward with my life. I found peace in the priesthood, and I'd advise you to move forward with your life, too. Don't you want something more than just scraping by?"
"Of course I do," I said, coming dangerously close to spilling my feelings about Jack. "I just haven't met anyone who I like enough to consider making a life with. Besides, I'm busy raising a twelve-year-old, in case you didn't know."
"I know," Patrick said quietly. "I'm sorry I left you to raise her all alone."
"You did what you had to do," I said, steeling myself against the feelings that threatened to overwhelm me.
"I miss her, too, Leah," Patrick said as he moved across the room and stood holding his arms open to me. I bit my lip, and then burst into tears as I fell into my brother's embrace. He patted my head as I sobbed, "I know, I know. Let it out."
"I miss her so much, Paddy," I said calling him by his childhood nickname. "I don't know what to tell Riley, and I want to know what happened to her! Where did she go? Is she still alive? Did she just forget about us?"
"I know, Leah," he said as he rocked me like a baby. "For years I've tried to track her down, but she didn't leave much of a trail. The detective I hired said that when the trail goes cold, it's usually because someone is dead."
"I know she's probably dead," I choked out. "But I just want to know for sure. I want to know what happened so I can move on. I'm sick of looking over my shoulder and scanning every face in the crowd for Molly."
"I don't know what to tell you, sis," he said taking a hold of my shoulders and pushing me away so that he could look at my face. "But we're the only ones left, and Mama needs some serious care. She's a mess."
"It's my fault," I said starting to cry again. "I let her get away with it because I was too tired from working and keeping up with Riley and the house. I should have stopped her. I should have gotten her help, but she was so angry, Patrick."
"It's not your fault, Leah," he said sternly. "Mama made her own choices, and one of them was to keep drinking. That's not your fault or your responsibility. It took me many years of therapy to understand that I wasn't responsible for her hatred or for her choice of how to work out her own pain. She had choices, Leah. There are always choices."
I nodded as I cried against his shoulder and he simply wrapped his arms around me and patted my back until I had cried myself out. When I was done, I stepped back and looked at the bedroom. It was a disaster, and there was no way we were going to salvage anything.
"Look in the drawers and see if there's anything she might want to keep," I said. "Tomorrow I'm calling the guys who haul junk and will have them clean this place out before we try to sell it."
"I forgot to tell you," Patrick said as he dug through Mama's nightstand and tossed out old magazines and romance novels she'd kept stashed in the drawer. "We've had an offer on the house. The realtor called and said a buyer saw the pre-listing she sent out and offered the full price, sight unseen."
"You're kidding me, right?" I said as I pulled open the dresser drawers and tossed out clothing that my mother hadn't worn in twenty years. "Jesus, she's a pack rat."
"Leah . . ." Patrick said.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you," I said rolling my eyes with my back turned to him again. "But seriously, Patrick, she kept so much stuff!"
"No, Leah . . ." he said again. This time I turned around to see that he was standing in the middle of the room holding a handful of what looked like envelopes. "She wrote her."
"Who wrote who?" I said, not understanding what he was talking about.
"These are all from Molly," he said. "She wrote Mama."
"What?" I said not sure I was hearing him correctly.
"These letters are from Molly, Leah," he said as he dropped them on the bed and began looking through them to find the most recent postmark. "They started right after she left, and they seem to end a year later."
"That would be two years ago," I said, excited that maybe they would lead us to our missing sister. "Where is she?"
"It looks like she was in Florida the last time she wrote," he said pulling the letter out of the envelope and finding a blank sheet of paper. He turned it over looking for writing and said, "There's nothing here."
"Is there anything on the other sheets?' I asked as I walked over and grabbed one. It was postmarked Kentucky and inside was a sheet of hotel stationary with nothing written on it. I looked at the envelope and saw Mama's name and our address clearly written in Molly's looped handwriting, but there was nothing else. "What the hell?"
"We should ask Mama," Patrick said flatly. "She'll know what this all means."
"When can we visit her?" I asked.
"They told me that it would be another couple of weeks," he said. "She hates the treatment facility and is fighting them the whole way. They told me it was best if family didn't visit for a while."
"But we need some answers!" I cried. "She can't just hide in rehab."
"Maybe that's just what she's trying to do," he said. "Maybe she doesn't want to tell us what's going on or what happened to Molly."
"I want to know, Patrick," I said, determined to confront my mother and find out the truth. "Riley deserves to know, and we do, too."
Patrick stood silently for a long time and gave me an almost imperceptible nod.
We would find out what happened to Molly, and then leave the past where it belonged.
Chapter Forty-Three
Jack
I'd been finalizing the last parts of my plan for dinner that night. I'd wanted to do a quick run through of how the evening's events would unfold and go through the information I'd gathered.
"Where'd Le
ah go?" I asked Norma.
"Darlin’, I haven't got a clue," she shrugged as she continued opening the mail. "Not my day to watch the girl."
I sighed loudly and headed down to the warehouse where the best I could get out of Burt was the fact that Leah had said she'd had some errands to run. Her office was empty and there was nothing written on her calendar. I tried her cell phone, but it went straight to voicemail.
"Dammit, Leah!" I muttered as I took the back stairs up to my office. "Where are you?"
I marched back into the office and gathered up the files I'd been working on before heading out. I'd asked Norma to join us for dinner, partly as a witness, but also as a backup for all the information we'd spent the week gathering. I knew that when Lincoln and Sloan started pushing my buttons, I'd need backup in the form of some logical, fact-based input that neither one of them could dispute. Norma and Leah were my backups, but without Leah here to go through the information, Norma had become a very important part of the plan.
"You'll be there before 8:00, right?" I said as I walked through the front office where Norma was taking care of the last bits of the day's business.
"You can count on me, darlin'," she said with a wide smile. "Wouldn't miss little Miss Snotty Pants getting her comeuppance for the world."
"Norma, you're a piece of work," I laughed. "Just remember that you and Leah are my backups if things get rough."
"Darlin', I've got family, too," she said with a knowing nod of the head. "We'll have your back."
I had Jimmy make two stops on the way home and then drop me off before sending him back to the office in case Leah showed up. I cursed myself for not having hired a separate car for her when she and Riley had moved in, and I made a mental note to fix that as soon as possible. If I'd done it sooner, I'd know where she was right now and wouldn't be worrying about whether she was going to show up or not.
My mother had prepared the dining room for our guests, and it looked just as I had hoped it would.
"You've outdone yourself, Mother," I said kissing her cheek as she arranged flowers in a vase on the sideboard.
"I'm glad you approve," she smiled. "I did my best to set up what you wanted. I've got a kitchen full of people preparing dinner, and the cook is not very happy about that."
"I'll make it up to her," I said as I scanned the room and made sure to take note of where my mother had set the place cards. "Norma will be here by 7:30 to do a quick run through of the program, but I can't find Leah anywhere. Have you heard from her?"
"No, dear, I haven't," my mother said. "But I wouldn't worry. She'll be here. Of that I'm sure."
"Well, if you're sure, then I'll trust your instincts," I said warily. I wasn't entirely convinced, but there wasn't anything I could do about it now.
I ran into Riley as I was just about to head upstairs to shower and dress. She was red cheeked and excited about something she held in her hand as she raced through the downstairs toward the dining room and my mother.
"Betty! Betty! Look what I found!" she called as she collided with me. "Oof! Sorry, Jack!"
"What have you got there?" I asked looking down at her cupped hands.
"A frog!" she cried as she opened her hands and a tiny green reptile crawled up her fingers before launching itself at me. "Jack! Watch out!"
Instinctively I reached up to brush it off my shirt, but the frog was a step ahead of me. It launched itself into the air again before attaching to the entryway wall.
"My frog!" Riley cried as she ran to grab the little green jumper. Before she could put her hands over it, it had climbed up the wall out of her reach. "Jack, he's getting away!"
"Indeed, he is," I grinned as I stepped around her and quickly put a cupped hand over the frog to prevent its escape. "Help me out here and get a sheet of paper or something flat so I can scoop him up without losing him again."
Riley ran to the front entryway and pulled a page from one of her notebooks. She rushed back and handed it to me. I quickly slipped it under the frog as I kept my hand covering it. Riley followed me to the back door and opened it. We walked out to the wall surrounding the patio where I released the stunned creature. He sat breathing and blinking for a few moments as if trying to get his bearings, and then launched himself off the wall and disappeared into the bright green grass on the lawn.
"Nice rescue," Riley said, sticking her hand out for me to shake. "You're a hero."
"Uh, not so much," I said, gripping her hand and shaking it firmly.
"To that frog you are," she said solemnly, looking out at the lawn before adding, "And to me and Leah, too."
"You like living here?" I asked, sidestepping my heroism—real or imagined.
"I love living here," Riley said. "It's calm, and there's always food in the fridge. No one yells at me to take them to the bodega for beer or cigarettes, and I don't have to fight with anyone to get my school work done."
"I see," I said, trying to imagine what kind of life she'd been living before they came to stay with us. "So, you wouldn't mind staying here?"
"I'd like that very, very much," Riley said hesitating a little. "But I'm not sure if Leah would like it. You might want to ask her."
"You don't think she'd want to live here?" I asked.
"I don't think she would want to leave Gram all alone," Riley shrugged and then grinned, "But what do I know? I'm a kid."
I laughed as she ran off to her room, leaving me standing on the patio, holding a sheet of paper. I stared out at the perfectly manicured lawn.
"Something funny?" Leah said as she walked out onto the patio.
"You're back," I said trying to not show my irritation that she'd been out of touch all day. I looked closely at her. Her eyes were red, and she looked somber. "Everything okay?"
"Yeah, fine. Sorry I was gone all day. I had to take care of some things," she said, as she looked me over. "What's with the paper?"
"I was a hero to a frog Riley let loose in the house," I said as I folded the sheet and tucked it in my jacket pocket.
"I see," she nodded in a way that indicated her thoughts were elsewhere. "I know I missed the run down for this evening's dinner. Do you want to go through it now?"
I looked at her and realized she was in no shape to do a run-through of the plan. What she needed was a hot shower and some time to pull herself together before dinner.
"No, go shower and get ready for dinner," I said casually. "You know the gist of it, so I'm sure it'll all be fine. Besides, Norma is coming to dinner, too. She can act as another backup in case things get out of hand."
Leah nodded, then turned and went upstairs to get ready. I had the urge to call to her and ask what had happened, but I stopped myself.
We didn't have time for an emotional crisis with Sloan and Lincoln arriving in an hour.
*
Norma, my mother, and I were having a drink in the living room, trying hard not to talk about what was about to happen. I didn't want anything to tip off our guests. I focused on maintaining light chatter while we waited for Leah to come downstairs and join us.
"Oh my!" Norma drawled. "My God, girl, you clean up good!"
I turned and felt my breath catch in my throat as Leah entered the room. She was wearing a midnight blue velvet dress that hugged her curves and made her eyes look even bluer than usual. She'd put on mascara and lipstick and pulled her hair up away from her face in the front. It flowed down her back.
"You look lovely," I said as she crossed the room and accepted a glass of champagne from my mother.
"Indeed you do," my mother said. "I'm glad I told my seamstress to take that dress in a little more!"
"Thank you so much, Betty," Leah said as she hugged her. She turned and looked at me as she held her glass up. "And thank you, Jack. Thank you for organizing this evening and for making sure that all of us are here tonight."
"Thank you, darling," my mother said as she hugged me. "This will be such a nice evening."
I felt slightly guilty that I was about
to cause my brother a whole world of pain, but I also knew that he deserved it. I'd told Leah that we'd keep the affair to ourselves since there was really no reason to destroy Jessie in front of everyone. Besides, I had a feeling that once Lincoln was no longer useful, Sloan would drop him like a hot potato and move on to the next rich and powerful man who could help fuel her career. She was ruthless that way.
A few minutes later, Martin led our guests into the living room where I greeted each of them with a glass of champagne and a lively toast.
"Well, isn't this a lovely evening you've planned, Jack," Sloan said as she linked her arm with mine and pressed her body against me. She was wearing a form fitting dress that looked like liquid gold stretched across her perfectly proportioned body. I wanted to shove her away, but I knew better than to do that before the main event. So, I smiled and nodded.
"This is quite the dinner you've set up, Jack," Lincoln commented as he peeked into the dining room and saw the elaborate set up. "It's good of you to invite us."
"Of course, I can't think of anyone I'd rather have here for such a momentous occasion," I said as I moved away from Sloan and grabbed the champagne bottle. "Tonight's a night for celebrating! More champagne!"
I refilled the glasses as I kept an eye on Sloan who had sidled up to my mother and was quietly whispering in her ear. Despite knowing about Sloan's treachery, my mother played it off like the consummate actress I knew she was. I cast a quick glance at Leah, and she smiled before turning her attention back to Jessie's latest story about Joey and Mimi's afternoon at the zoo. To her credit, Norma stayed on the outskirts of the conversations and simply observed what was happening. I flashed her a grateful smile, but she just nodded and turned her attention back to the conversations.
When dinner was ready to be served, we moved into the dining room and took our seats around the beautiful table my mother had had prepared. The candles were lit, giving the room a romantic glow as the light reflected off the beautiful china my mother had chosen for the table.