by Claire Adams
“Sure, we’ll take that,” I said. Before Justin could even reach for his wallet, I pulled a ten-dollar bill out of my back pocket. I handed the money to the lady and got two dollar bills back in change. We waited five more minutes before it was finished.
“Here you go,” she said, still in a monotone voice.
“Thank you so much. You have a great day. And try to stay cool!” I said, and she smiled at me. I hoped I made her day a little better.
I grabbed three forks from the tray next to the window, in case Margie wanted some, and we spotted everyone sitting at two tables. We walked over and joined them. I was so excited for Justin to try the funnel cake.
We sat down, and I watched Justin in anticipation as he took his first bite.
“Oh my god. It’s so good,” he said with a laugh as he finished chewing. In a lower voice, he added, “Looks like you popped my cherry on that one.”
I laughed and took a bite. It was good, a little mushy where the whipped cream melted, but it still tasted as good as I remembered.
“I wanna try it!” Margie said from the next table over.
“Okay, I grabbed you a fork just in case.”
Margie grabbed the fork from me and stuck it into the dough. When she took her bite, she made a loud “mmm” noise. “This is good!” she said
“These were my favorite treats when I was a little girl,” I told her.
“I can see why,” Justin said, taking another bite.
“I want to go on another ride,” Margie said.
“Okay, which one do you want to go on?” Justin asked her.
“I want to go on the tea cups with you and Anna,” she said.
“Okay let’s do it,” I said.
We finished eating the funnel cake and disposed of our trash and then made our way over to the Krazy Kups.
We had to wait in line for about twenty minutes before we could get on the ride. It wasn’t too bad as the three of us talked to pass the time. Margie was so insightful for only being four. It was cute to watch her talk about the world and things that were going on.
We got onto the ride, and it started up.
“Weee!” Margie yelled as we started to move around. “What’s this do?” she asked, pointing to the turner in the middle of the cup.
“Watch,” Justin said.
He put one hand on each side of the little table and used all his strength to turn it. We started spinning around in our cup faster and faster.
Margie and I were soon laughing hysterically.
“This is so much fun, guys!” she yelled.
“I know!” I yelled back.
As we went past my parents and Ally, I saw that my mom was taking pictures of us. I waved at them and then Margie tried to as well. It was hard because we were spinning in our tea cup so fast.
We were still spinning in our cup as the ride started to slow down. We had been going so fast that I wasn’t sure if we were going to stop or not. A few seconds later, we finally started slowing down, and then it stopped.
“That was so much fun; can we do it again?” Margie asked as we made our way out of the ride area and toward where my parents and Ally were waiting for us.
“Let’s let the first ride settle before we go again,” Justin said.
We spent another few hours going on different rides. My mom even went on one with Margie. Justin played a ring toss game and won Margie a stuffed bear.
When we got back to the van and started driving down the highway, Margie passed out. I sat in the back with her again. I watched her eyes light up over and over throughout the day, and it brought me so much joy.
The ride back to my house seemed so much longer than it had on the way there. I figured it had to do with all of us being so tired. It had been such a long day, but we all had a blast. These were memories I was going to cherish forever, especially since my mom took so many pictures.
“I’ll make sure to tag you on the social media,” she said.
I laughed.
“You mean Facebook?” Ally asked.
“Facebook is social media, right?” our mom asked.
“Yeah, but you don’t call it ‘the social media.’ Just call it Facebook. You don’t have a twitter or Instagram account. There’s no point in saying ‘social media,’” Ally explained. She was laughing, but I sensed a hint of irritation in her voice.
“You knew what I meant, Ally bear,” Mom said.
The rest of the ride was quiet, and I was glad when we made it home. We said our goodbyes, and I picked Margie up out of her booster seat. She was still asleep, and I followed Justin to his car, where he put the booster seat in. I gently placed her in the car, trying not to wake her.
“Thank you,” he said.
“Thank you for coming with us,” I said in response.
“It’s no problem. I think Margie had a blast.”
“She definitely did.”
We stood there for a moment. I sensed neither of us really wanted to walk away or say goodnight.
“I guess I should get her home,” Justin said after a couple minutes of silence.
I nodded my head. “Yeah, you probably should.”
At that moment, I wanted to tell Justin just how I really felt. I wanted him to know that the way I acted around him were my true feelings, that this wasn’t just a big show for my family. I wanted him to know the truth, but I was terrified. I didn’t know how he really felt about me. I didn’t know if this was all pretend to him. The last thing I wanted to do was read more into things than was really there. I didn’t want to come on too strong and drive Justin away.
“Goodnight, Anna.”
“Goodnight, Justin,” I said.
And then he grabbed my face and kissed me. I could sense there was more there than just a ‘goodnight kiss.’ It was passionate, but I could feel what might be love. And when we finished kissing, I felt breathless.
“Drive safe,” I mumbled, my lips were numb from the passionate kiss.
“I will,” he said. He smiled at me before climbing into the car and driving away.
Chapter Twenty-One
Justin
The time we spent at the theme park with Anna’s parents and sister was amazing. It was great to get away and have some fun. I needed it, and most of all, so did Margie. She so rarely got days out like that, and I knew it was something she would always remember.
I spent Monday morning going over bills. It was just amazing to me that no matter what I did, no matter how hard I tried, I just couldn’t seem to get ahead. The bills kept piling up. Late fees stacked up one on top of the other causing a one-hundred-dollar bill to suddenly cost eleven hundred after a few years. I felt like I was drowning.
I needed this to work out. If it didn’t, I knew I was going to have to defend myself physically against Markie’s goons. That was something I never wanted to face. Ever.
“Are you okay, Daddy?” Margie asked and climbed onto the chair beside me. I was sitting at the dining room table with the table covered in past due bills.
“Yes, sweetheart.” It was a lie, but I couldn’t tell my four-year-old daughter about our money problems. It wouldn’t have been right. I was trying everything in my power to hide these things from her.
“You look like you’re gonna cry,” she said with worry in her voice.
It was strange that she picked up on those kinds of cues. I didn’t feel like I was about to cry, but I knew I might have looked like it. I was stressed and overwhelmed.
“I’m okay, baby,” I said and kissed her on her head. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome,” she said.
I went back to worrying about the bills, and I could see out of the corner of my eye that she looked like she wanted something.
“Is everything okay?” I asked her.
“Will you play with me?”
“Sure thing,” I said and followed her to the couch where she already had four dolls laying. She picked out two and handed them to me, then she took the other two
, and we began to play. She had such a creative and imaginative mind. I loved that she used her imagination often.
“I’m glad you met Anna,” Margie said randomly, as she made her two dolls host a tea party for the two dolls I was playing with.
“Why is that?” I was curious as to what she might say.
“I love her so much.”
I was in awe. “I love her, too.”
“How come you never tell her?” she asked.
I didn’t know how to respond to that. So, instead, I distracted her from her real question. “I need to go to the gym to get ready for my next fight, would you like to come with me?” I knew it wasn’t fair to ignore her question, but it wasn’t really something I could or should discuss with my four-year-old daughter.
Margie’s eyes went wide. “Really? You want me to go with you?”
“Yeah, I think it could be fun.”
“Is Anna going to come with us?”
I wasn’t expecting her to ask that, but it was a good idea.
“I can call and ask her if she wants to tag along.”
“Do it!” she yelled. “I wanna see my Anna!”
I loved her use of the word “my” when she was referring to Anna.
“Let’s go get ready,” I said and followed her into her room. I helped her pick out a pair of black leggings and a short sleeve pink shirt with a black cat that said “I’m purr-fect” on the front.
“Daddy, what’s this shirt say, again?” she asked, pointing at the words.
“It says ‘I’m purr-fect.’”
“I am!” she said and did a quick spin.
“Yes, you are.” I hoped on everything that she would never lose that confidence in herself. I wanted her to grow up with a strong sense of identity, and I knew she would need a woman to help her with that. I hoped Anna would be that woman.
After she got dressed, I grabbed her bag and told her to put some toys in it that she would want to play with while we were there. I then went into my room and put on the clothes I normally wore to train and work out at the gym.
We got into the car, and Margie asked, “Did you call Anna yet?”
“Not yet,” I said and pulled out my phone and dialed Anna’s number. She answered on the first ring.
“Hey, you. What are you doing?”
“Margie and I are driving to the gym. Would you like to come with us?” I asked
“Hmm,” she said. “I don’t have any clients today, and that sounds like fun.”
“Great. Margie’s going to be so excited,” I said.
“I can’t wait to see you both,” she said.
I smiled at the phone. I wasn’t too sure what her feelings were for me, but I hoped that maybe they were becoming something real. She was so beautiful, so perfect, and I was sure my daughter loved her more than I did, which just made things so much better.
“We can’t wait to see you either,” I said.
“I’ll see you in about ten or fifteen minutes?”
“Yeah, that’ll work,” I said.
We both said goodbye, and I hung up the phone, tossing it into the cup holder.
“Is she coming?” Margie asked.
“Yes, she is going to meet us there,” I said.
Margie squealed. “Yes! I’m so excited.”
I pulled up to the gym and helped Margie get out. We walked in, and Artie greeted both of us.
“Margie is here to cheer me on today,” I said.
“I’m glad to see you here on a day you don’t normally come in. It shows me you’re committed,” Artie said.
“I am very committed. I know I need to train harder,” I said.
I started doing some warm-ups, jumping jacks, and push-ups while Margie played with her doll and occasionally yelled, “Go, Daddy, go!”
She was cheering me on even though I was just warming up, and I thought it was the cutest thing ever.
I stepped into the ring with Artie, and we started with some boxing moves. He was covered in mats, and I was told to hit him like I would an opponent. This always made me nervous because I didn’t want to accidentally knock him out.
I threw a left hook, right hook, upper cut, and repeated these hits a few more times.
“Harder!” Artie demanded.
I threw my next one harder, and Artie tumbled a little bit.
“There you go. Don’t hold back just because of me. I’m wearing these on purpose. Hit me like I’m your opponent.”
I hit him harder.
“Good. Again, but use all your strength. You’re still holding back. If you hold back with me, you’re going to hold back with your opponents. Now, again!” Artie said.
I hit him again and knocked him over.
“Artie! I’m so sorry,” I said.
Artie got up. “Good job. That’s what I’m talking about. Again.”
We went through this drill a few more times. I knocked Artie over every single time.
“You’ve got the strength. You just need to make sure to utilize it. Quit focusing on everything else going on in the world. Focus on the cage. Block out the noise outside of the cage. Focus on your breathing and getting your opponent to submit.”
A few more minutes went by before I saw Anna walk into the gym. She looked just as beautiful as ever. I could feel my heart skip a beat as I watched Margie run over to Anna. Anna picked her up just like she did on Saturday before we went to the theme park.
Artie waved hello. “Hello, Anna. It’s good to see you again.”
“It’s good to see you again, too, Artie,” Anna said, waving back to him.
I turned my attention back to Artie and instantly felt much more focused than I had before she showed up. Artie said we should switch it up, and we moved on to some Judo moves.
“Yay! Go, Daddy!” Margie yelled.
“Yay, Justin!” I heard Anna yell, and then they both laughed and clapped.
I couldn’t help the smile that spread across my face. I turned my attention back to Artie again and took him to the ground with a perfect hip toss.
“That’s the kind of focus I’m talking about Justin. You didn’t hesitate; you went for the opportunity. I think you’re finally getting it together,” Artie said. “You are a great fighter. All you need to do is focus.”
“Thank you,” I said. It had been a while since he last complimented my work. I figured I must be doing something right, and I owed it to Anna. Her presence made me much more focused. Her presence made me more in tune with what was going on. Her being around me was all I needed.
Another gym member, Zach, showed up a few minutes later. He was in my weight class and an MMA fighter. Artie stepped out of the ring and put us together to work on our moves. I felt pumped to do this with him. He didn’t have as much strength as me, but he was quick, and it was exactly what I needed to work on my focus.
I glanced at Anna and Margie. They were messing around and pretending to train. Anna was holding up a mat, and Margie was hitting it. Her form was wrong, but she was throwing herself into it. They were both laughing.
“You ready?” Zach said from behind me.
I tore my gaze from them and turned to Zach. “Oh yeah, let’s do this thing.”
We touched gloves, and Artie said, “Fight!” It reminded me of the game Mortal Combat that I used to play when I was younger. My mind drifted for half a second before I remembered Artie’s insistence that I stay focused.
Zach aimed for my face, and I blocked it, getting him in the ribs all in one motion. When I focused, I could find the person’s weaknesses in no time. I could use that to my advantage.
“Good, Justin. Zach, make sure to tuck yourself in after a blocked hit. The first thing your opponent is going to do is aim for your weak areas.”
Zach nodded.
He threw another punch; I blocked it and went for his ribs, and again he didn’t block me.
“Focus, Zach,” Artie said.
Zach went for a rib shot and then tricked me and turned it into a face sho
t, but I was able to block both. So far, he hadn’t been able to get any hits in.
I went for an uppercut and got him; then I went for a right hook. Zach went to the floor. I was glad we had our protective gear for sparring. I wasn’t looking to hurt the guy.
I held out a hand and helped him up. “Damn, Justin. You got a helluva lot stronger,” Zach said.
“Thanks.” I took it as a compliment.
“Yay, Daddy! Does that mean you won?” Margie asked.
I turned to look at them. Anna had put down the mats, and now they were sitting in a couple of chairs, watching us.
“No, I’m not trying to win right now,” I said to her.
“Well, what are you doing then?” she asked.
“Zach and I are just sparring. It’s just part of training. It’s like practice,” I said.
Margie nodded her head like she understood, but I wondered if she actually did or not.
Anna smiled at me and then I watched Margie lean into Anna and whisper something. Anna smiled and seemed to be thinking. Then she responded and whatever she said warranted a big hug and a loud “OKAY!” from Margie.
The two of them together filled my heart with so much joy. It felt like a puzzle piece that had been missing was finally found.
I sparred with Zach a little while longer. I knocked him to the ground repeatedly. Finally, I think he had enough and called to be done for the day. Artie took him to the side, and I was sure he was giving him one of his famous lectures.
I got out of the ring and walked over to the girls.
“Hey, how are you girls doing?”
“We’re doing good, Daddy. You can go back to play fighting,” Margie said.
I laughed. I thought it was sweet that she wanted more time alone with Anna. “I think I’m done for the day. We’ve been here for a couple hours already.”
“Oh, well I am hungry,” Margie said.
“You wanna go get some lunch?” Anna asked me.
“I don’t have much money.” I hated having to admit that, but I didn’t want her thinking I could pay for it when I knew I couldn’t.
“It’s fine, Justin. It’s on me.”
“I don’t want you doing that.” It felt weird that she was offering to take us out to lunch. I felt bad because not only was I getting free massages from her now, but she was also going to feed my daughter and me.