by Kate Hall
When I enter the exam room, I stay standing, ready to bolt through the door at any time. This is the first demon, the mother of all evil, after all.
After I’ve only been waiting a moment, Lilith enters the room. She looks totally normal, a medium-height woman with dark skin, a long, elegant nose, and a white lab coat. Still, I know what lurks under the surface.
At least, I thought I did. Now, I can’t be so sure. If she’s the first demon, the one who followed Lucifer into Hell, then why hasn’t she killed me yet?
Maybe she’s just toying with me.
“I think we can help each other,” she says without even saying “Hello.”
My hands ball up into fists, and my eyes narrow. “How do you think?” It’s against every cell in my body to trust a demon, especially this demon. I try not to think about the fact that I’m in love with another demon. She’s different, though.
I’m pretty sure she is, anyway.
Lilith smiles, her entire body relaxed. Of course she has nothing to worry about. Even if I were to summon my sword, there’s nothing I could do to fight a demon that’s survived through a few millenia of wars and tension. “I don’t want Desireé to go to Hell. I like her. She’s good at what she does. She’s more bloodthirsty than a lot of the demons in our ranks.”
This only stands to remind me that Marcus, another demon, once described Desireé as ruthless. That can’t be right. Not my Desireé, anyway. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
She laughs, her tone airy and light, nothing like what I would expect of a demon. “I don’t want to be a part of yet another war, Avery. And, if you haven’t noticed, you’re kind of starting one.”
This throws me, and my mouth pops open. I’ve been an angel for less than a year. What power would I have to start a war? “That doesn’t…I can’t…I’m not…”
Lilith rolls her eyes and leans against the counter, then peers directly into my own eyes. “Angels and Demons are not supposed to love each other. It shouldn’t be possible. This whole debacle has the higher-ups questioning shit on both sides. And I feel like I should remind you that this sort of thing doesn’t usually end up with everyone singing Kumbaya around a campfire.”
I grit my teeth to keep myself from spitting out some witty retort. She could still kill me if she chooses. She says she needs my help, but surely someone else could do the job in a pinch if I were dead. Instead, I consider my words before saying, “But aren’t we already in a war?”
I expect her to laugh, to roll her eyes again, anything, but instead, her eyes go dark.
“No,” she says.
I stand in silence, letting her gather her thoughts.
Finally, she continues, “The last war was thousands of years ago. It was awful, too. Demons and angels slaughtered at every turn.” Her eyes bore into mine, and I’m rooted to the spot. “People. They were people, and they were killing each other just because Cain decided where they should be. Friends. Lovers. Parents and their children. It didn’t matter.” She sighs, and a shuddering breath comes out. I didn’t know that the mother of demons could sound so sad. At this moment, it’s clear to me just how ancient this gorgeous woman really is. “I’ve been through this many times, Avery. So damn many. And I just can’t do it again. I’m tired.”
I wrap my arms around myself as a sudden chill takes to the room. How am I supposed to respond to that? Do I comfort her? Talk to her? Ask about it?
I frown. “I planned on saving Avery anyway, you know. You didn’t have to corner me and make me terrified of every move I make.”
Lilith’s heartbroken exterior fades, and she tilts her head. Her eyes glimmer with amusement.
“I’m not here to intimidate you, Avery.”
I open my mouth to point out that she’s the most deadly creature I’ve ever met, but she holds up a finger.
“Do you really think that the Archangels don’t know where you are?”
Chapter Two
I don’t respond. I can’t. I’ve felt totally alone since returning home, although Dad has been hovering over me quite a bit. Am I being watched, though? Are the Archangels just waiting for an opportunity?
Were Nicolai, Huỳnh, and Gabe caught after helping me escape? Or trying to release Desireé?
If they were, what have the angels done to them?
My hands shake, and I have to clench them into fists to keep Lilith from seeing. She can’t see me as weak, although, right now, I feel anything but strong. I have to seem like it, though, or she’ll dispose of me and pick someone else.
“The only reason we need you,” Lilith says, not seeming to catch my distress, “is to find out where the angels are keeping Desireé. We believe that she’s still alive, and you’re the key to getting her out. If you bring her to us, we can protect her.” She pauses, then purses her lips with obvious distaste before continuing, “We can protect you as well.”
What does that even mean? Am I going to be taken to Hell? Not to be tortured, but to be…protected?
I don’t really want to know what’s going to happen after I save Desireé. I can only handle one thing at a time, and I’m really not handling this all that well as it is. I haven’t slept, haven’t stopped wondering how much longer I’ll be alive.
“Why?” I ask.
She shrugs, leaning back in her chair casually. “Consider it a favor.”
I shudder. The last demonic favor I’d been involved in had ended up with me cornered in an alleyway by Marcus, a demon who’d ripped up the skin at the base of my wings during a scuffle. I don’t really know that I can trust a favor from a demon.
I look out the window, studying a pair of small brown birds that flit from branch to branch. “Do I really have a choice?”
Lilith’s mouth twists into one of her menacing smiles, and she sits back up. “Not really. If you don’t help us, we will have no reason to protect you.”
Goosebumps raise on my arms as I imagine what might happen if the Archangels find me. The demons may be a clear and present danger, but maybe I should be thankful that they’re here at all.
“Fine,” I say, extending my hand for a shake. She reaches to me and takes it, her hand so hot that it’s like taking an iron in my grip. I grit my teeth and force myself to keep from pulling away. Don’t show weakness.
“I’m glad we could come to an agreement,” she says. “You’ll be seeing us around.” I nod, and she hands me a familiar device made of black crystal. It’s a phone of sorts, except this one is made to contact people in different realms. I’d used a device just like this to speak with Desireé while I was in Heaven. “Call me if you need anything.”
I just nod in response.
I am going to be surrounded by demons.
I have to find out how to rescue Desireé from the Angels. The good guys. And then, I will be going to Hell.
I swallow and try to convince myself that this is fine.
Chapter Three
It doesn’t rain at Desireé’s funeral. In fact, it’s an unseasonably sunny day, far too cheery for the way I actually feel. She has a closed casket service, probably because her body had never been recovered from the river.
Everyone says that it’s a miracle that I survived with no injuries. They have no idea that I should be dead, too, but I’m sure many of them are thinking it. Desireé had been perfect. The epitome of a good person. And now she’s dead.
I stay quiet and keep my hands tied together behind my back, trying to look sad and respectful, when really, my mind is racing through different ways I might be able to find her. It shouldn’t be that hard, right? I mean, I have mystical powers.
And very little training on how to use them.
As the sermon draws to a close, I take in a deep breath. I’m supposed to give a speech about Desireé, something to reassure everyone, to quell their anger at my survival. The only problem is, almost everyone in town despises me. I can’t blame them, of course. I’d done some awful things while I was alive, including getting a t
eacher fired for an affair I’d completely made up in order to extort money out of him.
I can hardly believe that Cain agreed to Desireé’s terms to send me to Heaven, but, on the other hand, she’d let Nicolai in, and he’d been a Russian gangster who killed people.
I wasn’t the worst Angel in Heaven, but still.
After Desiree’s mom stumbles her way through a speech, her eyes glazed with sadness and probably several forms of medication, it’s my turn. I go up to the podium, keeping my eyes away from the empty casket. Did they put some of her clothes in there or something? What’s the point of a funeral with no body? She isn’t gone, I remind myself. She’s somewhere else. And I’m going to bring her back.
When I look out into the crowd, though, I see nothing but sadness and hatred. She may be alive to me, but to everyone here, she’s dead, and I’m the reason she died.
“Desireé is…” I pause. “Was. She was the love of my life. And I would do anything to have her with me again.” My throat closes up as I wonder if saving her is something I can actually accomplish. “She was the best person I knew. The best person any of us knew.” Then, I say something I’ve been thinking for months, since I first found her infiltrating Heaven. Something that, at the very least, these angry and sad people will agree with. “She didn’t deserve what happened to her.”
Something wet splashes on my hand, and I look up to find out if it has somehow begun to rain, but the sky is as clear as it’s been all day. I blink, and a fat tear rolls down my cheek.
“I’m sorry,” I croak, then run from the stand. I don’t make eye contact with her parents, don’t look at the casket. I can wait in the car until Dad’s ready to leave. There’s no way I can spend a moment longer at this funeral, though. It’s just too much.
We’re parked up the road, past a huge line of cars. When I get there, though, there’s a tall boy with brown hair leaning against Dad’s old pickup. He looks so unassuming on Earth, just a normal teenage boy, but I know what lurks beneath the surface.
“What’s up, Avery Two?” Marcus, my least favorite demon, asks.
I grit my teeth.
“Hello, Marcus,” I say, forcing myself to be civil. Marcus may have done a favor for Desireé by giving me the phone back at Theaa Academy, but he’s definitely no ally of mine.
A lazy smile crawls across his face, and I grimace.
“I guess Lilith told you we’d be hanging out, right?”
No, she absolutely had not mentioned Marcus. She may be the mother of demons, but I definitely would have protested him being here.
“Of course,” I say nonchalantly. My relaxed demeanor seems to throw him off, just enough that his eyes flicker with the slightest bit of confusion. “I look forward to having a personal bodyguard that can’t beat me in a fight.”
He snarls and starts to lunge toward me, but his eyes flick somewhere behind me. I don’t take the bait, don’t turn around. He will not trick me into turning my back to him, not for a moment. Not after what his demonic talons did to my wings.
“Well,” he says, “that’s debatable.”
I shrug. “Listen, if you need something, you can text me. I need to head out, though, and you’re in my way.” I take the Hell phone out of my pocket, the black crystal seeming to suck in all the daylight around it like it’s starving.
He smirks and moves out of the way, and I open the pickup truck door, climbing in.
“See you at school tomorrow,” he says.
I close the door, blocking him out. He gives me one last asshole smirk, then disappears.
Chapter Four
On the way home, I remain perfectly silent. Dad doesn’t try to talk to me, but I catch him looking at me more than a few times. When we arrive at the house, a single-wide mobile home which is in severe disrepair, I sigh. There’s a small porch leading to the front door, and the wood is a bit too mushy for comfort. The car Dad bought with my wreck’s insurance money sits in the overgrown gravel drive, a tan Nissan that’s probably older than the Archangels themselves, give or take a few years.
I walk past a separate rusted car that’s being eaten by the plant life slowly but surely. When I enter the house, I have to hold my breath. It’s a lot cleaner than when I was actually alive. Dad must have done something about the mess while I was in the hospital, which is out of character for him. Still, the ancient house smells musty and dank, like it’s been sitting in a humid swamp for years. I don’t really want to start coughing, so I just don’t breathe when I’m in here. I save that for the fresh outdoor air.
The floor of the kitchen is bare particle board, and I glance at a part of the corner that seems to be dry-rotting away. The vinyl floor had been ripped up years ago, back when Dad first decided to fix the place up. He gave up pretty quickly.
“Do you want dinner?” Dad asks, but I shake my head.
“I think I’m just gonna turn in early,” I say. I won’t sleep, though. I haven’t slept a wink since I arrived back on Earth, but it’s not as though I need to.
He nods, his face a half frown. “Okay. Remember you have school tomorrow.”
“Right,” I say, my voice filled with distaste.
He pauses, then says, “Are you sure you’re okay to drive tomorrow?”
His wariness is understandable. The last time I drove a car, in his mind, was when I drove over the side of a cliff into the river. He hadn’t protested buying me another vehicle, though, so he can’t be completely against the thought of me behind the wheel again. “Yeah, I’m good. I promise.”
He doesn’t seem so sure, but he doesn’t argue. I turn my back to him and go to my room, lying on my bed. I take out the black phone, turning it over and over in my hands. I don’t have a way to call anyone except for Lilith, as her name is engraved in the demonic sigil language on the back. Lying here reminds me of earlier in the term, which, really, wasn’t so long ago. I would sit in my little secret cubby and call Desireé. Even though she was in Hell because of me, she always seemed happy to talk to me. I will forever be grateful for her love, and I have to pay her back by making sure the angels don’t harm her.
An idea begins to form in my head, although I have no idea how I’m going to pull it off.
Still, I have to try.
Chapter Five
School is absolutely jarring. I’ve spent nearly a year in an academy filled with angels, being taught how to fight and kill demons as well as the history of eternal beings. Now, though, I’m expected to attend Math class?
I sigh with frustration as I pull into the school’s lot in the ancient Nissan that’s not nearly as fancy as the Audi I’d been driving on my Earth missions with Gabriel. Lilith had called me overnight, ordering me to just sit tight, which has me anxious, and I can’t help but pull my itchy sweatshirt a little tighter around my body. I hate human clothes. They’re far too rough against my sensitive angelic skin, and I just wish I could have my luxurious silky uniform made of heavenly materials back.
I guess I’ll just have to deal with jeans and a sweatshirt instead.
I ignore the stares of everyone when I walk into the building. I hadn’t been well-liked before the accident, and Desireé had been my only friend on Earth. She’d been everything to me, and now she’s dead. Gone forever, at least as far as these people are concerned. Now, though, there’s straight hostility in their glares. I won’t be surprised if someone tries to start shit with me before the end of the day.
My first class is multimedia, which means I can finally get to a computer. My phone had been lost in the accident, so I’ve had absolutely no access to the internet since I came back to Earth. Since I can’t go to an ethereal library containing all the books in the universe, the school’s slow connection will have to do.
Luckily, I’m at the back of the room in a corner. I angle the screen just a little so that the boy two seats away doesn’t see, and I open Google.
How to Summon an Angel.
Most of the answers involve prayer, and there are tons of artic
les and books about guardian angels. Not what I’m looking for at all. I keep scrolling, and it isn’t until the eighth page that I find something even a little promising.
The link is for a dingy website with red text over a black background. Mid-2000s occult stuff. This should work. At the very least, the spell is written in Enochian, the language of angels. I print it out, and the teacher gives me the stink-eye but doesn’t say anything about my disruption after he reads the first line of my article. His anger turns to pity, and he holds out the too-thick stack of paper. “Thanks,” I mumble, scurrying back to my seat.
The pity that comes with a dead girlfriend can be used to my advantage, as it turns out. If I do anything weird having to do with angels, Heaven, or Hell, people will just assume I’m mourning in my own way. It’s sort of true. They just don’t know for sure that it’s all real. That I’ve been to Heaven.
That I’m still an angel, and I’m trying my hardest to bring Desireé back.
I read over the article and ignore the teacher’s lecture. He doesn’t even tell me to pay attention, which is fine by me. I have better things to do than invest in school when Desireé’s immortal soul is on the line.
Nobody tries to mess with me, which is a bit of a shock. It hadn’t been easy for Desireé and I, the only lesbian couple in our tiny school, and now that she’s gone, I’ve been expecting the other students to target me like they did before she and I became a couple.
At lunch, I sit at my usual empty table at the back of the cafeteria. A moment later, though, two others join me.
Marcus I recognize instantly, and I frown but don’t speak. I will not give in to his taunting. The girl, though, is a tall blonde that I don’t know. Still, there’s something in her features that gnaws at my subconscious. Have I had a class with her before? It wouldn’t surprise me if Marcus somehow roped a human into spending time with him.