by Ravenna Tate
“No. I couldn’t deal with the memories on my own, let alone tell them to anyone. Plus, I never really grew close to my cousins. I was a nuisance to them, and a worse one after I came to live in the same house. When I was fourteen, I started hanging out here. Or, rather, the compound that used to be here. I knew Gorgon in school, although he was a year younger than me.”
“So you knew his brother Scotty, too?”
“Yeah. We all did. These guys were so cool, you know? Their parents rode hogs, they all smoked and swore, and they talked about shit I’d only read about. Going out on the open road to ride, fucking, drinking, and just hanging out with their friends. It was a life I’d never had. I was a real loner in school. Never made friends. Thought about girls all the time but had no fucking clue how to even talk to one that I wasn’t related to.”
“This group must have been an oasis for you.”
He smiled. “Yeah. That’s exactly the right word. They were everything I’d been searching for, and they didn’t judge me because I was quiet and awkward. Around them, I opened up. Not about everything, obviously, but I could talk to them about shit. They understood me.”
“Were you here when the fire occurred?”
“Not in the building, but I heard about it right away. The whole town seemed to know about it. I snuck out of the house to come down here. It was horrible, Meghan. So many people I had grown to think of as my true Brothers over the previous year were dead. Women, too. And kids. I was only fifteen. Tannin was out of his mind with grief once he found out his father had been behind it.”
“He never saw justice done for that, either. Tannin, I mean.”
“No. He sure didn’t. There are a lot of people living here who understand what it’s like not to see someone pay for a crime.”
“Do you think you’ll ever visit your father in jail?”
“Don’t know.” He cupped her face. “You’re right. You would think with a past like that, I’d be lousy at letting myself get close to anyone. But me and you … Meghan, I’ve never felt this way about anyone. Including Margie. You’re more than my best friend. So much more.”
The expression in her eyes was both hopeful and cautious. Christ. She still hadn’t guessed the depth of his feelings. Time to man up and tell her, asshole!
“Meghan. I’m…” The words stuck in his throat. Phenex swallowed hard. He couldn’t change his past, but he could sure as fuck change his future. “I’m in love with you, Meghan. I’m absolutely, fucking crazy about you.”
Chapter Ten
The emotions coursing through her were both painful and exhilarating. She’d been waiting to hear that for two years, after all. Was it real? Yes. He had actually said the words!
Tentatively, she reached for him at the same time he uncupped her face. Meghan laughed softly, not because she found it funny that they’d moved together, but because she was nervous for the first time to touch him. Which was insane, considering there wasn’t a spot on Phenex’s body where her hands or her mouth hadn’t been multiple times now.
“It’s okay,” he said softly. Could he sense her thoughts? Did he feel the same way right now? “We’ll figure this out.”
“All right.” She believed him. She had always believed him. Of all the men in this building, he was the one whose word she had always counted on.
When he cupped her face again, she held her breath and kept her hands still. He bent his head to kiss her, and it was like kissing him for the first time. His lips, so often rough and chapped, were soft and pliable tonight. His tongue slid into her open mouth and moved over hers in ways that she’d never experienced before. Everything was the same, yet it was also different. Heightened. More intense.
Her pussy was soaked, and soft moans escaped her throat as he continued to kiss her and nothing else. It was so sexy and teasing, but she adored it. No one had ever taken their time with her her like this before. So patiently, with the intention of seducing her, coaxing her, easing into it, instead of getting her clothes off as quickly as possible, and shoving his dick into her.
Tears threatened again, but she forced them away. She wanted nothing to ruin this moment for either of them. When he finally released her mouth, a slight smile played at the corners of his, and the hazel eyes she loved so much shone with love and lust. Had that love always been there? Had she simply never allowed herself to see it before? To believe it could be real?
“Make love to me, Meghan.”
“Oh!” No had ever said that. Called it “making love” instead of “fucking”. Her mind whirled with emotions she wasn’t used to. She melted into his strong embrace as he crushed her against his body, moaning into her hair.
“Oh, Meghan.” He brushed his hands down her back and grasped the hem of her top, pulling it off gently. “You’re so fucking beautiful.” She only wore a bra when she was working, but he had it off in seconds. This time, when he fondled her tits, his touch was softer and not as hurried. This change in him was driving her out of her mind with need.
After getting in a few tiny nips and long licks on her nipples, he pulled off her jeans and panties and pushed her onto her back. Instead of diving for her pussy, like she’d expected him to, he covered her body with his and kissed her again, deep and slow. He still had on all his clothes, including his boots. She was ready to come. She needed his dick inside her in the worst way.
Meghan arched her hips and wrapped her arms and legs around him, drawing him as close as possible. She shoved her tongue into his mouth and moaned loudly.
He released her mouth and planted tiny bites along her jaw line. “Patience.” His voice, filled with teasing humor, coaxed her to the edge of reason.
“Fuck, Phenex. Since when do you take your time?”
The grin he gave her sent shivers down her spine. “Do you like it?”
“No. I’m dying here. I need to fuck you.” She moved her hands down his back and grabbed his ass.
“Mmm. Baby, I need to fuck you, too,” He kissed her, but it was only a quick one. “But I want you so fucking hot and wet for me that you are out of your mind.”
“I’m already there,” she whispered. “I’ve always been there with you.”
“Oh, Meghan. You make it impossible to wait.” Finally, he slid down her body and spread her legs, wetting her clit and labia with his mouth the way she loved. Meghan closed her eyes and writhed against his touch, letting the familiar sensations take over.
The man knew how to eat pussy. He slipped two fingers into her hole and moved them in and out, quickly enough to coax her impending orgasm along, but slowly enough to make her insane with need.
She cried out and grabbed his hair, pushing his face closer as his teeth, fingers, and tongue worked their magic. Inch by inch he brought the climax closer, and when the contractions washed over her, she let out a long, slow moan until they began to subside.
Phenex sat back on his heels and grinned down at her. “You always get what you want, don’t you, Wonder Tongue?”
She moved her hands up and down his muscled arms. “The only thing I’ve ever wanted is you.”
“You have me. For always.” The decisiveness in his voice nearly brought tears to her eyes again. She’d waited so long to hear him say these words, and now that it had happened, she didn’t know how to handle it.
He pulled off his cut and t-shirt, then climbed off her long enough to remove the rest of his clothes. She sat up, assuming he wanted a blowjob. Even after he reached over her and took out the box of condoms and lube from the nightstand drawer, she went to grab his cock, but he caught her wrists.
“This first.” Phenex kissed her again, pushing her onto her back. Being skin-to-skin with him had never been this sensuous. Wave after wave of delicious lust washed over her, and she only snapped out of la-la land as he started to push his cock into her pussy … without a condom.
“Whoa! Phenex, hang on. Condom.”
He cupped her face, his expression dead serious. “Meghan, I don’t want to fuck
any other woman for the rest of my life except you.”
Oh God. “Are you sure about this?”
“Not using condoms, or not wanting any other woman but you?”
“Both, but I’m on the pill. I can’t get pregnant anyway.”
Pain filled his eyes for a second, and she held her breath, absolutely certain she knew what he was about to say. This time she couldn’t stop the tears. They spilled over her lashes as she stared up into his beautiful eyes, so filled with hope and love.
“I’ve been sure about wanting no one but you for a long time.”
“Me too. I mean about wanting no one but you.”
“Maybe one day you can go off the pill, and we can try to have a child of our own?”
Her pulse raced, and she swore she heard his heart beating. “What are you asking me, Phenex?”
“I’m asking you to be my old lady. To share my life. To raise kids with me.”
All the times Meghan had fantasized about hearing those words, and living that life with Phenex, still hadn’t prepared her for the reality. It wasn’t that she didn’t want the same thing, but fear welled up. Fear of not ending up being what he wanted. Fear of fucking this up.
“Are you sure we’re ready for that?”
“No clue, but fuck it. I don’t want anyone else. I never have.”
“Neither have I,” she whispered.
“Then let’s take a chance, Meghan.”
She had to voice her concerns. She’d waited too long to tell him both about Faith, and how she felt. She didn’t want to fuck this up because she’d stayed silent. “What if it’s not what we want? What if we fuck it up?”
“Oh, God. We won’t. How can we? We love each other. Right?”
It was only then she realized she’d never actually said the words back to him. “Yes. I do love you, Phenex.”
The relief on his face nearly killed her. “And I love you, too. So, let’s do this. There’s no reason not to.”
He was right. Nothing was in their way now. They understood the fear and the demons that had held each of them back from taking this step. It was all out in the open. All she had to do was say “yes” and every fantasy she’d ever had about Phenex would come true.
“Yes. Yes, I will be your old lady. Yes, I will share your life.”
With a loud groan, he pushed his cock into her wet hole. She cried out in pleasure as she wrapped her arms and legs around him once more. He thrust slowly at first, and as he increased his speed, she clung tighter to his muscled body and let the emotions and her orgasm simply take over.
She thought he had come, too, but when he withdrew, his dick was still red and swollen. “Turn over, Meghan. I need to fuck that gorgeous ass of yours.”
Meghan got on her hands and knees while he donned a condom and spread some lube on his fingers. She raised her ass high in the air, moaning loudly as he inserted his wet fingers and gently stretched the walls. Once his cock was inside, she closed her eyes and enjoyed the ride.
Phenex reached underneath and massaged her clit with one hand, while hanging onto her hip with the other. “You feel so fucking good!”
“I love this. Don’t stop.”
“Not until you come again.” And that was all it took. His words had such power over her. Meghan moaned loudly as the climax washed over her, and soon his cries joined hers. His thrusting grew quick and jerky, and then he stopped and pulled out.
After he removed his condom, he pulled her into his arms and held her close. “Do you have any idea how relieved I am that you’re not leaving this club?”
“I don’t know how or why that rumor even got started.”
He stroked her hair. “It’s been a weird couple of weeks.”
“It’s been a weird couple of months.”
“Yeah. True. This shit with the Outlaw Dogs was never this bad before.”
“Everything escalated after Howler shot Mad Dog.”
“Wish they’d kept their fucking fights confined to that piece of shit bar. Now it’s spilled over into here.”
“Do you really think that Mob boss from Queens will make trouble for Donny?”
Phenex pulled her closer. “I don’t know. I hope not, because no one wants to leave—” He stiffened. “Um … I mean, I don’t know what else we can do to keep this place safe.”
But that’s not what he’d started to say. Not even close. A nasty shiver ran down Meghan’s back before spreading to her entire body. She sat up and looked down into his face. “No one wants to leave what?”
“Nothing.”
He was lying to her. She had no clue how she knew, but it was crystal clear.
“There’s nothing for you to worry about, Meghan.”
“The fuck there isn’t.”
At least the poorly-concealed reassurance on his face finally melted away. “I can’t tell you.”
So that’s what they had talked about. “Do you have any idea the amount of rumors that top secret meeting started?”
“Fuck yes.” He ran a hand over his beard. “We all do. But I can’t betray Gorgon on this. You’ll just have to trust me.”
“Is he thinking of moving the club?”
“I really can’t talk about it.”
“He’d never do that. This is the place where Scotty died. Where they all did. It’s sacred ground.”
“Meghan, you have to forget I said that. There’s no fucking blood in my brain. It just slipped out.”
“Which means it was Donny’s idea. That’s why he was here that night. That’s how bad this is. Donny is so worried about this boss from Queens he thinks we should get the fuck out of here.”
Phenex said nothing, but he didn’t need to. The others might find him difficult to read, but Meghan never had. And she didn’t find it impossible to read him now. She’d guessed the truth. Because Gorgon had sworn him to secrecy, she wouldn’t make him admit it, but neither would she be able to simply forget it like he’d told her to.
Fuck. This was far worse than she’d thought. She didn’t want to leave, and she’d bet a whole bunch of money that when it came down to it, none of them did. If they had to move the club, she wasn’t the only one who would suffer.
This was her home. Most of the people who lived here had grown up in Creek Ridge or close by. She didn’t want to live anywhere else but here. She didn’t want to work anywhere else. This place was top notch, the pay was fabulous, and Phenex was here. This was where Meghan wanted to stay. It was where she belonged.
She was his old lady now. She would go where he did. But she knew in her heart that none of them wanted to move the club.
Chapter Eleven
“I don’t know what else to say, Gorgon. It just fucking slipped out. She’s not stupid. She guessed the truth.”
“Maybe if you hadn’t been thinking with your fucking dick?”
“You know what, fuck you! You gonna stand there and tell me you never said anything to Chloe by accident after you fucked her?”
“Chloe’s my old lady, asshole! I’ll say whatever the fuck I want to say to her.”
“And Meghan is mine.”
“Excuse me? What the fuck did you just say?”
“I said Meghan is my old lady. I asked her, and she said yes.”
“When the fuck did this happen?”
“Last night. Does it matter? You said we weren’t to share this even with our old ladies. You tellin’ me you shared it with Chloe?”
“That’s none of your fucking business.”
“It is my fucking business if you’re in my face right now about fucking up and saying something to Meghan.”
Phenex balled his hands into fists and glared at their President. They were inches from each other. It pissed him off something fierce to have been given a directive like that, only to find out Gorgon hadn’t honored his own rule. Chloe didn’t deserve to know this anymore than Meghan, Rai, or Kayla did.
“I’m not going to discuss what was or was not said between me and my old lady.�
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“Then you have no right to get pissed off at me for slipping up to mine. I didn’t have to come here this morning and tell you what I said. I could have fucking kept it to myself. She wouldn’t have said anything about it. You’d have never known. But out of fucking respect, I came here to tell you, asshole.”
Gorgon glared at him for a few seconds, but Phenex saw in his eyes that his words had sunk in. “Fine. Point taken. Let’s move past it and figure out a solution.”
“Are you seriously thinking of moving the club?”
Gorgon shook his head and ran a hand through his hair. “Fuck, Phenex. I don’t know. This is seriously fucked up.”
“Why don’t we wait and see whether Donny can actually get this other boss to talk to him?”
“Because I don’t want to be in a position where this asshole gets sideways with Donny, and suddenly we’re in the middle of a fucking turf war. I need to keep everyone who lives here safe. That’s my job.”
“I know it is. Where would we go if we did have to leave?”
“Fuck if I know. Most of us grew up here. We have family here. We have dead relatives and friends buried here. It’s not like we can just fucking pack it up and move to a new building. The business is here. It’s established. We’d take a huge fucking loss to try to move it.”
“Only until we were established somewhere else. There’s enough excess capital that we’d be okay for a while.”
Vassago was their Treasurer, and had shared at the last church how much in the black they were. If anyone in the Outlaw Dogs actually knew the amount, they’d have more trouble than they did now. That bunch would literally kill to get their hands on a piece of that pie.
“Yeah. True.”
Phenex glanced around the room, taking in the pictures on the walls of old friends, dead family members, and vintage bikes. Everyone who lived in this building had a past and a present that was tied to this city, or at least to this state. A move would affect everyone, not only the officers. They would likely end up losing members and dancers.
And now especially, how the fuck could he ask Meghan, of all people, to leave? Her little girl was buried here. She wasn’t anymore ready to be that far away from the grave than Phenex was ready to live that far from his mother’s.