by Dannika Dark
It wasn’t my mother’s loss I was weeping for. I’d dealt with her death a long time ago. Something else pricked my thoughts like a thorn. “Do you think she hates what I’ve become? Do you think she’s ashamed of me?”
He leaned over and put the box on the floor. “Your mama loves you no matter what. Don’t you ever forget it. She even loved an old drunk like me, and even though we didn’t stay together, we still loved each other. She never took away her love from people who needed it. And right now you need it more than ever.”
“Maybe needing and deserving are two different things.”
He pursed his lips. “Sometimes. But your mama would have moved heaven and earth for you. We both wanted you to have a better life, and that’s why I understood when you turned down my job offer and wanted to get away from the trailer park. You were trying to do what you thought Bonnie would have wanted. But that wasn’t your path, Cookie. Your mama was a smart lady, and if she were still alive, we wouldn’t be having this conversation. You’d probably have some high-paying job, be living on the nice side of town. But that’s not how it worked out, and if she’s watching, she understands. She knows what you’ve been through. Your mama had the ability to love the unlovable. So maybe I get why you’re fond of that Vamp.”
That last line made me smile.
Crush patted my hand before leaning back in his chair, almost tipping it over. “Dammit.”
A laugh bubbled out. “You need to go to bed. That can’t be good for your ribs.”
“I’m sleeping right here. It’s easier to get up out of the chair than that bed. It’s all yours.”
“I’m staying on the couch.”
“Good. I could use the company.”
“You old bulldog.”
He chuckled and palmed the remote. “Let’s see if I Love Lucy is on. She reminds me of that sassy little number at the bar earlier.”
“Wouldn’t you rather watch The Golden Girls? They’re more your speed.”
“Keep it up, Raven. Keep it up.”
CHAPTER 25
Door slams woke me up. The kind you hear when someone is going in and out of the house, but I didn’t hear grocery bags.
I rolled over on the sofa and squinted at the bright sunlight pouring through the open front door. A cool breeze blew a small feather all the way to the shag rug. My boots were no longer on my feet; they were by the door with a duffel bag next to them.
“Daddy?” I sat up and stretched my arms and back.
Crush filled the doorway as he limped back inside. He had changed clothes, his Harley shirt fitting him snugly. “Are you hungry?”
“What are you doing? What’s up with the duffel bag?”
He came into the living room and glared down at me. “Time for you to go.”
“What? No, I can’t leave you.”
“You’ll always have a place on my couch if you need it, but it’s time for you to get back to your life.”
“You’re still hurt.”
“I know how to take care of myself. Been doing it for years.”
“I still have to pay off General.”
“And when there isn’t a General, there’s your Creator. There’s always gonna be something holding you here.” He offered his hand. “Come on. Make it easy on the old man.”
I gripped his callused hand and flew into his arms. “I can stay a little longer.”
“I know. But every day will make it that much harder to let me go. You need to let me go, Raven.” He rubbed my back. “This isn’t goodbye. It’s see ya next time.”
“How are you gonna get to work?” I leaned back to look at him, brushing my hand over his dark shirt. “You’re still all banged up.”
“Wizard.”
I jerked my head back. “Am I supposed to believe that you’re letting him drive you to work every day?”
“I didn’t say it was my idea. He’s a persistent asshole. Said the only way I can go back to work is if he drives and I see a doctor.”
“And what did you agree to?”
“I’m staying home for a week.”
I poked his gut. “You better go to the doctor. Just have them take a look at your foot. It’s not like they’re going to give you a prostate exam for your ankle.”
He grunted. “Fine.” Crush limped toward the duffel bag and rubbed the back of his neck while staring down at it. “All your gear’s packed up. I checked your fluids in the truck, and a couple of your tires were low on air. There’s a cooler bag in the fridge with a sandwich if you’re hungry on the drive home.”
“You packed me a lunch?” I sat back down on the sofa, still in disbelief that this would be my last morning here. Where had the time gone?
“The sooner you get going, the better.” He headed into the kitchen and rummaged around.
There was no winning when Crush had his mind set on something. Whether I was ready to go or not, he was pushing me out of the nest. Maybe it was a little cathartic for him since he hadn’t gotten a chance to do it the first time. And he was right. I was getting a little too comfortable around here, and that wasn’t doing anyone any favors. Especially not after last night’s drunken fiasco. I’d been so focused on getting his affairs in order that I’d lost hold of my own.
I reached down in the shoebox and fished out an old picture. It was from a trip we took to the lake a year into his sobriety. Just him and me. We roasted hot dogs, snacked on barbecue chips, fished, and told stories by a small campfire he built. Crush didn’t own a tent, so he’d tossed a small mattress in the back of his truck and said real cowboys sleep under the stars. Just before sunset, he asked a jogger to take our picture. It was one of the few photographs of him smiling, and the sun glinted off his silver tooth. We posed by his truck, fishing poles in hand, and looked the happiest I’d ever seen.
I stuffed that photograph in my back pocket. Pictures of Breed weren’t supposed to exist, and in time, I didn’t know if someone might ask me to destroy all the ones with me in them, including childhood photos. But I would keep this one close to my heart and always remember the first man who ever loved me with everything in his soul.
I DIDN’T LEAVE RIGHT AWAY. Though Crush had packed me a lunch, we talked for a long time until he got hungry. Then we both sat at the table, eating sandwiches and drinking orange soda. Crush sent me off with a goody bag filled with girly things he’d bought at the drugstore. Exactly how he’d slipped out that morning without my knowing was a mystery, but he’d gifted me a small baggy filled with nostalgia as my parting gift. Inside was watermelon-flavored lip balm, blue nail polish, body spray, and a pack of my favorite gum. It was his way of showing how many details he remembered about me—things that even I’d forgotten. Like how I used to wear that body spray in high school, and how I’d always asked him to buy me gum whenever he made a run to the store for beer.
Walking through the doors of Keystone with my bag was a surreal moment. Despite all the recent drama, my time with Crush had given me a taste of normality. It was difficult to ignore the stark difference when Gem flashed by me while Blue’s falcon swooped at Hunter, who was giggling while trying to outrun her.
“What the hell is going on around here?” I muttered as the door shut behind me.
Blue emerged from the hallway to the dining room as naked as a jaybird. Her long hair shielded her breasts, and her brown skin glowed. She noticed my bag in hand. “Raven, you’re back.”
“Yep. Thought I’d come see what you guys are up to. Is the Vamp here?”
“Christian and Shepherd left together this morning. They didn’t say where they were going. How’s your father?”
“Good. Thanks for asking. Did Viktor rent out my room?”
“Don’t be ridiculous. I know you were only gone to reconnect with your father, but between you and me, Viktor looked worried you might skip out on us.”
I smiled warmly and patted the statue beside me. “This is the only place I really belong.”
“Join us. We’re in the dining room.”
I glanced down. “A naked lunch?”
She laughed. “Viktor wants Hunter to get comfortable around us, and that means shifting once a day. This is a new experience for the little guy, so we want to build a trusting relationship between him and our animals.” She folded her arms. “In fact, Viktor’s encouraging everyone to share their gifts with Hunter. The more he sees it, the more he’ll understand. Patrick abused him, and there’s a chance he might grow up afraid of his own talents because of it. I guess this is Viktor’s way of showing him that we’re all special little snowflakes,” she said with a wry grin. “Follow me.” As soon as Blue turned, she elegantly morphed into a falcon and disappeared down the hall in a staggered flight.
Curious, I ventured into the dining room to see what the ruckus was about.
Viktor’s wolf barked at me twice before flipping onto his back so Hunter could rub his belly. I’d never seen his wolf so submissive, and it warmed my heart just a little bit. Niko was sitting on the floor beside them, supervising the play. He seemed amused by either the energy show he was getting or the sound of Hunter giggling.
I dropped my bag on the floor.
“My thoughts exactly,” Wyatt said from the booth just ahead of me. “Everyone’s gone mad here.”
Claude’s mouth eased into a grin. “You’re just jealous because there’s nothing you can show off to the kid. Not unless someone dies.”
Wyatt glared across the table at him. “Would you like to volunteer?”
“No thanks, Spooky.” When Claude stood up, I remembered how tall he was. He lumbered over and gave me a brief hug, but it put me too close to his armpits, and all he had on was a white tank top. “Why don’t you show him something, Raven? We’re getting him acclimated so there aren’t any surprises.”
I stepped back and glanced over at Gem, who was munching on a bowl of strawberries at the table. “I suppose Gem showed him her fireball?”
“I only wanted to do a little one,” she said glumly. “There’s all that land in the back, but Viktor thinks someone might get hurt.”
Claude crossed the room toward Gem and rubbed her shoulders with his large hands. “Another time, Gem. You’ve already impressed him with your knowledge of languages, not to mention the flashing.” He walked to the edge of the table and leaned against it, his eyes on the wolf.
Wyatt turned in his seat to look at her. “Why don’t you have Raven steal your core immortality? You can show off your Blocker abilities.”
She gave him a peevish glance. “You just want to see if it’ll work. I’m not foolish enough to take a risk like that. If it works, I’ll become human again.”
“Maybe I’m curious if you’ll get the same gifts the second time around.”
“And where will we find a Creator to give me my first spark? Viktor would have to get the Mageri to approve. It might not even work the second time around.”
He swept a wild lock of wavy hair away from his eyes. “Do you think you’d wind up with two of those doohickeys?”
“You mean my Creator’s mark? Let’s not find out.”
“I showed him my Thermal gift,” Niko said to me. “He’s fascinated by how quickly I can warm his feet.”
I rubbed my shoulder. “What about healing?”
“No, that’s where it gets complicated. I’m also a Healer, and I don’t think he’ll understand the difference between my rare gift and the common one we all can do. We haven’t gotten that far, so perhaps we should start with the simple things.”
Blue’s falcon watched from the back of Viktor’s chair. Late-afternoon sunlight spilled through the arched window and onto the floor, so I decided to demonstrate a gift that wasn’t complicated to explain to a child so young.
“Shepherd will probably kill me for this.” I grabbed a push dagger from my bag and sat down. “Niko, can you watch Viktor’s wolf? Make sure his light doesn’t get aggressive.”
Niko put his hand on the wolf while I drew Hunter’s attention away.
“Don’t try this on yourself, okay? This is only something a Mage can do.” I ran the pointy tip of the blade across the back of my hand, and bright blood rose to the surface.
Mesmerized, Hunter crawled toward me and touched my hand, no doubt feeling my pain. It was important for him to understand that this wasn’t a game—that knives cause pain—so I didn’t interfere with his curiosity.
I reached for a strip of sunshine and pulled healing light through my fingertips. The separated flesh immediately fused together, leaving only the bright blood behind. When Hunter touched my hand again, his blue eyes rounded.
I wiped the blood on my jeans and showed him my healed hand. “Sunlight helps a Mage heal. We can also heal from borrowing from another Mage’s light. Even though we can fix our cuts, it still hurts to get them. So we try to be extra careful not to cut ourselves.”
Wyatt snorted.
“You can’t heal your wounds,” Niko explained to him. “This is a very special thing that only Raven, Gem, and I can do. If you fall down and get hurt, we can’t make it go away.”
“Well, that’s not entirely true,” Wyatt pointed out.
Niko turned toward him. “I don’t want to confuse him with too many facts. I also don’t think we should encourage reckless behavior just because there’s a Healer in the house.”
Wyatt held up his hands defensively.
I tried to think of something else to show him, but my fangs would scare him. Rather than displaying how I could blast energy into a person, I reached out and, with the utmost concentration, released a flutter of energy from my fingertips. Just enough to raise the tiny hairs on his arms, but not so much it would hurt him. When he tried to touch the strands of light, he snapped his arm back, feeling the sharp prickle of energy.
After I cut off the energy flow, Niko generated a tiny ball of orange light in his palm but held it out of reach. He twirled it between his fingers like a light show and crushed it in his fist, the dying embers showering the floor before vanishing.
I looked up at Claude. “Did you flip your switch around him?”
His eyebrows angled down over his golden eyes. “He would be in no danger if I did.”
Gem turned to face us and crossed her legs. “Claude showed him how fast he can sprint. We had a race earlier down the east hall, but Claude always wins.”
Still looking up at Claude, I asked, “Did you show him your, uh…” I tapped my finger against my tooth.
Claude shook his head.
I nodded in agreement. It seemed too soon. Some of the things Hunter had seen already were fantastical and probably overwhelming, but we couldn’t be certain what Patrick had told him about Vampires or Chitahs. Fangs were scary to kids no matter how much you tried explaining them. They gave people a monstrous appearance.
Claude put his hands on his hips and lifted his chin. “He likes the way I purr.”
Gem giggled and lifted another strawberry from her bowl. “Everyone likes the way you purr.”
“I don’t,” Wyatt tacked on.
Viktor’s wolf jumped to his feet and shook his head. When he neared me at eye level, I looked down. Friends or not, his animal responded to body language. Staring a wolf directly in the eye for more than a few seconds was a no-no.
“I’m back for good,” I said quietly.
Viktor couldn’t hear me. He was asleep in there somewhere, but his wolf understood. He licked my chin and mouth before trotting out of the room.
“I can’t wait until things get back to normal and we can work again,” Gem complained. “I’m so utterly bored.”
Wyatt knocked his boot heels against the floor as he turned in his seat. “Careful what you wish for, Aladdin.”
She twisted the strawberry stem between her fingers before dropping it into the bowl. “Every time Viktor shifts, he stays that way for hours. Poor Kira. She has to sweep up dog hair everywhere.”
I stood up and hefted my bag. “Does anyone know when Christian and Shepherd will be back?”<
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Wyatt got up and stretched out his arms. When he did, his shirt lifted and exposed his belly button. “If they went out drinking, probably tomorrow morning. We’ve been cooped up in this place like a flock of chickens. Feel like a game of darts?”
I needed the distraction. Something told me once Christian returned, my life might never be the same again. “Sure. Why not.”
CHAPTER 26
After a dozen rounds of darts with Wyatt and Claude, I spent an hour talking to Gem in her room. She showed off a few stones she’d recently purchased. Since my nails were a mess, she got out her blue polish, and we painted our nails while discussing ancient languages. It wasn’t a conversation I could contribute anything to, but I enjoyed listening to Gem’s explanations and theories. She didn’t pontificate or make me feel ignorant, and I had a feeling most people tuned her out when she discussed the one topic she was most passionate about.
I showered after that, dressing in a pair of black sweatpants and an old T-shirt before heading down to the dining room. Shepherd’s and Christian’s chairs remained empty, but we all enjoyed the tamale recipe that Wyatt had given Viktor to translate to Kira. She was an excellent cook, but it was nice to have something new for a change.
Hunter claimed the seat opposite Viktor even though there was plenty of room to add chairs on either side. It had become his regular spot, and I wondered how Shepherd felt about that—his son choosing not to sit right next to him.
Hunter didn’t talk, but the kid had expressive eyes. Occasionally he would cover his scar with his hand, which hadn’t gone unnoticed. Claude would casually reach over and move his arm away, distracting him with a story or giving him more tortilla chips to keep his hands busy. There was a different vibe in the room with Hunter around. Or maybe it was just the lack of work stress that had lifted everyone’s spirits.
I wasn’t especially tired, but I went to my room and closed the door. My bag was still on the bed, so I began unpacking all my clothes and putting them away, big white panties and all.