“How old is your kid?”
Connor swore softly then dropped to the floor next to me. He took his time wrapping me in his arms. His body was warm, soothing the shivers I didn’t know I had until he pulled me into him. He circled me with his arms, my shoulder against his chest and my head resting on his shoulder, my legs draped over one of his.
“I don’t have a kid,” he said quietly, pain in his voice.
“How? You said…”
He nodded and kissed the top of my head. “She did. Condoms aren’t 100%. I knew that, but I figured I wouldn’t fall into that small percentage. Hell, no one does. She came to me one day and said she was late. She took a test and it was positive. I offered to marry her, to raise the kid on my own if she didn’t want it, whatever she wanted to do. We’d only been together a few months, but we were in college. I thought we were serious, at least serious enough to face it together.”
Connor took a deep breath and held me tighter. “She said she needed time to think and she’d call me in a week. I listened because I didn’t know what else to do. In that week she decided she didn’t want the baby and had an abortion, without telling me. Her best friend took her and stayed with her afterward. When I saw her a week later she told me what she’d done. I broke it off with her. I couldn’t even look at her.”
“Oh, Connor, I’m so sorry.”
He nodded. “Thanks. I just want you to know that I’m here. If you find out you’re pregnant, I’ll do whatever you want, but please don’t get rid of our baby. I’ll raise it alone if you don’t want to.”
I nodded. “I’m on the pill. I have been for years. It’s not 100% either, but it’s better than nothing.”
“Promise me, Riley. Promise me you’ll talk to me before you decide anything if you’re pregnant.”
“I promise. I’d never do that to you. Plus, we’re not in college. It wouldn’t be easy to be a single mom, but I could do it if it came down to that. Let’s just worry about that when the time comes.”
Connor nodded against my head, his resting on top of mine. I felt closer to him than I’d felt to anyone before. Knowing his past wasn’t perfect helped me get over the hero complex I had with him, but it also made me love him that much more. I couldn’t imagine someone aborting their child without giving the father a chance, but I wasn’t there.
“Since I burned dinner, how about I order in Chinese?”
Before I could answer my stomach growled loudly, making us both laugh.
“I guess that’s a yes,” Connor teased.
He leaned down and kissed me, sweet and gentle. His fingers drifted up into my hair and tugged my head back to optimize the angle of my lips. Then his kiss turned possessive and hot. His other hand grazed my belly and held me against him, where he was already thick and hard on my hip. A guttural groan ripped from my throat as moisture thickened between my legs. His hand drifted from my belly to between my legs.
“We can get Chinese later,” he whispered, his breath hot and damp in my ear. “Right now I need you again.”
I agreed completely.
Twenty-Three
Two weeks later my period arrived right on time. I texted Connor that morning to come in when he brought breakfast, which he still did every day. We hadn’t used the words I love you yet, but we tiptoed around it. A lot.
I got up a little early so I could shower and get dressed before Connor arrived. I was just heading downstairs when I heard the knock on my door.
“Hey,” I said as I opened the door. It was still cold outside, perhaps even worse in late February than January had been. The chilly air teased the thin sweater I was wearing and made me shiver. Or maybe that was the sight of Connor… scruffy face, sleepy eyes, disheveled hair, black long sleeved shirt, jeans, and black boots. He looked insanely sexy.
He wrapped me in a hug as he stepped inside, kicking the door closed with his boot and kissing me like we hadn’t seen each other in weeks instead of a few days. It sucked only getting to see him on the weekends, but we struggled to figure out how to see each other during the week. The only solution I found was living together, or at least staying at each other’s places all the time.
“Damn, you look beautiful in the morning. How did I get so lucky?”
“I’m pretty sure I’m the lucky one,” I argued. He nipped my earlobe and followed me back to the kitchen.
He backed me against the counter and kissed my neck, that spot just above my shoulder that always gave me goosebumps. I tipped my head back so he could continue feasting on me and a moan slipped out.
“I love that sound,” he growled, running his tongue over me before he nipped the side of my neck, soothing it with his tongue again. When he reached for my pants I stopped him, remembering why I’d asked him to come over. “Uh no, that’s not good.” Connor took a step back and adjusted himself. He crossed to the other side of the kitchen and sobered his look. “You’re gonna try to break up with me again, aren’t you?”
I laughed and shook my head. Connor’s shoulders sagged in relief and he took a step closer to me. “Then what’s wrong?”
I shook my head again. “Nothing’s wrong,” I declared.
“Then why can’t I touch you,” he sounded like a scolded child who wasn’t getting his way. I nearly laughed, but I knew he was just as turned on as I was. Still, that was pushing it.
“I got my period this morning. I wanted to make sure you knew I wasn’t pregnant.”
He eyed me carefully, slowly crossing the room toward me. “Are you okay with that?”
I smiled, “Yeah. I do want kids, but I’m not all that interested in having them before I’m married. Like you said, I’d prefer to make the decision when I’m settled, or at least have an accident happen when I’m married.”
“I agree. And there’s something else. I’ve, uh, wanted to tell you this for a while, but didn’t want the pregnancy thing to get in the way. I, uh…” He paused. When he ran his hand through his hair and looked out the window behind me I got anxious. He was ready to run. He wanted someone else. He’d fallen for a skinny blonde who fit him better. I knew it was going to happen, but damn, it hurt.
I moved out from between him and the counter, needing some space between us. “Where are you going?” he asked.
“I just think it’s better if you tell me without touching me. It’ll be too hard to hear.” Tears burned my eyes, but I refused to let them fall. I clenched my bottom lip between my teeth and bit down hard, desperate to force the tears and emotions back.
“You don’t feel the same, then?” he asked, fear sneaking into his voice. I met his eyes and saw the same anxiety I knew was in mine.
“No, I don’t feel the same, Connor. I don’t want you to break up with me. I haven’t found someone else. But I’m not going to force you to stay, whether there’s a baby or not.”
“Jesus, Riley, you scared the shit out of me. I’m not breaking up with you, honey. Dear God, I can’t even tell you I’m in love with you right.”
Breathless.
“You’re what?”
Connor stepped closer, closing the distance I created between us. He was cautious, like I was going to bolt. When I didn’t move away from him he grinned and reached out for me. I fell into his arms, desperate for his embrace. He held me tight, one hand in my hair and the other low on my back. He leaned down and whispered into my ear, “I love you, Riley Williams. With every last piece of my heart, I love you.”
“Are you sure? I mean, you don’t have to say that because we thought I could be pregnant. It’s not something you have to tell me because you think I want to hear it or-“
He cut me off with a kiss. The way he felt came across loud and clear as his tongue gently requested entry into my mouth and he kissed me like it was his favorite thing in the world to do. His hands stayed locked around me, not grazing over my body, just holding me like I was precious to him. He kissed me for what felt like forever, his desire coming through, but more than that I felt his love. I felt how
much he cared for me, how much he wanted me to know he was saying the words because they were bursting inside him, not because he thought I needed to hear them.
When Connor finally let me up for air he held me close, not speaking, just holding me. My ear pressed to his chest where I heard his heart pounding. I held him tight, needing his strength for what I needed to say. “I love you, too.”
I felt his body tense around me, his muscles going rigid. He sucked in a breath and blew it out slowly. “I didn’t tell you so you’d say it to me. I just had to tell you. I’ve known since I realized I didn’t use a condom. The idea of having a baby with you excited me more than scared me, and I knew I loved you. But Riley, don’t say it because I did.”
“I mean it, Connor. I think I’ve loved you forever in some way. I worshipped you in high school, but the man you are now is so much more than I ever imagined you’d be. I love you.”
“Thank you, baby. Thank you for waiting for me to stop being such a douchebag and realize what was right in front of me all that time.”
I laughed and shook my head. “Thank you for finally seeing me.”
We ate our breakfast and left together, Connor to go home and me to go to work. Connor asked if he could come over that evening after work, not wanting to spend the night away from me. I’d never wished my period was gone so badly.
~*~
With Connor and I being in love, I figured it was time for him to meet my crazy family. He admitted he wanted to ask if he could come to one of our Sunday dinners for weeks, but didn’t think I’d let him. Until he said he was in love with me he wasn’t sure how I felt. With both of us using those three little words, our relationship got that much better instantly.
We walked in the door hand in hand. Connor hung up my coat for me then followed me to the kitchen. “Mom, Jamie, Sophie… This is Connor Lee. Connor, my mom, Renee, and my sisters, Jamie and Sophie. Jamie is two years younger than me so she was a freshman your senior year, but Sophie is four years younger so you weren’t in high school together.”
I’d warned my mom that I was bringing Connor, but hadn’t thought to call my sisters. Judging by the looks of shock on their faces, I should have.
Thankfully my mom stepped up. “It’s nice to meet you, Connor. Thank you for coming tonight.”
“Thank you for the invite,” Connor said as he shook mom’s hand. “Your home is beautiful. I’ve driven by it a lot but never been inside, of course. I bet it was wonderful to grow up here.” Connor addressed my sisters with his last statement. I knew he was thinking of his own less than great childhood and I wanted to comfort him, but couldn’t do anything with my family watching us like we were an exhibit at the zoo.
“Yeah,” Jamie finally said. “It was great. We’ve never actually met, but I saw you play when I was in school. My husband is going to be beside himself when he sees you here. I’m going to go ahead and apologize right now for how he’s going to react.”
Connor laughed as if he got that all the time. I knew he was well known from his radio show and the couple of years he was in the NFL, but after our first date I’d sort of forgotten that he was a minor celebrity. “I’m sure it’ll be fine,” he assured Jamie, but I was sure she was right.
“Come on,” I said, tugging him toward the living room. “I’ll introduce you to my dad and Chase. Jamie and Chase have two kids and a third on the way. Skyla and Grayson are in here watching TV.”
Connor grinned at my mom and sisters then followed me to the living room. When we walked in my dad stood from his chair and gave me a curious glance. Apparently Mom hadn’t filled him in either. “Dad. This is Connor Lee. Connor, my dad, Henry.”
“Of course,” Dad said as he shook Connor’s hand. “I watched you play in high school and followed your career a bit in college and the pros. Sorry about your knee. How are you getting on these days?”
I had no idea what my dad was talking about, but Connor appeared a little shocked that he was asking about something that was probably fairly personal. “I’m doing well. Thank you.”
Chase was standing off to the side looking like he was starstruck. “Chase,” I said, drawing his attention away from Connor and my dad. “This is Connor. Connor, my brother in law, Chase Warren. And the two zoned in on the TV are Skyla and Grayson.”
Connor approached Chase and offered his hand. Chase stared up at Connor then down at his hand. He finally reached out and shook Connor’s hand, a grin splitting his face. “Wow. What the hell are you doing here?”
Connor laughed and winked at me. “Riley and I have been seeing each other for about a month. Figured it was time to meet her family.”
I left so Chase could drool over Connor and I could help Mom in the kitchen. As soon as I stepped foot back in, Jamie accosted me. “Why didn’t you tell me you were bringing Connor Lee?”
I shrugged my shoulders. “I didn’t think about it.”
“Are you dating him?”
“Mm hm. Just over a month.”
“How did that happen?”
“It just happened.”
“Well, I think he’s dreamy,” Sophie broke in. She pretended to faint, making Jamie and I laugh.
Jamie fanned herself and joked, “My pregnancy hormones are kicking in.”
“Uh huh, sure,” Sophie teased.
“He’s even hotter than he was in high school,” Jamie groaned. She knew how big my crush was in high school. “I can’t believe you snagged him.”
“I know, right? Most of the time I still wonder what he sees in me.”
“Oh, don’t think that, Riles. You’re beautiful. And smart. And kind. You’re a catch,” Sophie argued.
“Thanks, sis. You are too.”
“We all are,” Jamie insisted, looping her arms through mine and Sophie’s. “I’ve been caught, but any man who finds either of you is a lucky bastard.”
“No argument here,” Connor said from right behind me. “I don’t know how I got so lucky, but I’ll tell you I’m not going to take it for granted.”
Connor stepped between me and Sophie and kissed my cheek. I smiled up at him and he leaned in for a kiss. It was appropriate for our audience, but didn’t stop the desire I felt for him. He stepped back but rested his hand low on my back, possessive and making sure everyone in the room knew it.
“Anything I can help you with, Mrs. Williams?”
“Oh, no, Connor. You’re our guest. I’m not going to put you to work.”
Connor winked at me and crossed the kitchen to my mom. “I don’t mind. I actually enjoy cooking. I cooked for Riley a few weeks ago. She really liked what I had for her.”
I blushed, grateful my mom wasn’t watching me. Connor was right, I’d definitely enjoyed what he had for me, but it wasn’t food. Since the night I tried to break up with him, again, and he forgot a condom we’d realized how sexy it could be to cook for each other. Well, really, how hot it was to have him cook for me.
Jamie noticed my flushed cheeks and raised her eyebrows at me. Sophie saw us and giggled, understanding exactly what happened between Connor and I when he cooked for me the first time. I shook my head at them so they didn’t say anything in front of Mom and they both just grinned.
Mom let Connor carry plates into the dining room when she was finished and we all followed behind them, Mom chatting away with Connor like they were old friends. We pulled up an extra chair and Chase sat next to Jamie so he could help the kids with dinner. Connor sat between my dad and me. They talked sports and I learned that Connor blew out his knee his second year in the NFL. I knew he’d only been in two years, but it never occurred to me to ask him why.
Chase jumped in where he could and asked questions about Connor’s life. He seemed enthralled by having his childhood hero sitting across the dinner table from him.
“We should get together and watch a game sometime,” Connor offered. I knew football season had officially ended, and if Connor was talking about getting together to watch a game that meant he intended to be arou
nd in the fall.
Or was he just being nice?
I pushed the thoughts away and decided to just enjoy whatever Connor and I had and not flip out about the whole thing.
Chase looked like he might pee his pants, but he cleared his throat and managed to regain some level of calm. His voice still squeaked when he said, “Yeah, that would be awesome.”
I asked Jamie how she was feeling and how her pregnancy was going. “Great. I had an ultrasound this week and things are looking good. I’m more tired than I was with Skyla or Grayson, but the doctor said that’ll get better eventually. I’m nine weeks now.”
“Have you guys started thinking about names yet?”
Connor reached down and squeezed my thigh. I knew he was thinking about the scare we’d had an the fact that we’d just found out we weren’t going to be parents. I was relieved by the news because I wasn’t ready for kids, but one day I hoped to be as happy as Jamie and Chase were about having a baby.
“We want to wait until we know if it’s a boy or a girl. We’ll find out in a couple months and then we can talk names.”
“Makes sense. I think I’d want to wait to find out if I was having a boy or a girl. It would be a fun surprise.”
“I’d have to know in advance,” Connor argued. “I couldn’t sit back and wait if I could find out.”
“Oh, I think it would be fun. Everyone knows what they’re having. I’d love to paint a bedroom in a nice neutral gray or green or something like that and have a room ready for a boy or a girl.”
Connor shook his head as I spoke. “Nope. We’re going to find out. Definitely.”
I stopped smiling when I realized what he’d said. We. When we have kids. Like he was planning that far ahead.
“Are you pregnant?” Jamie asked quietly.
“What? No. No, I’m not pregnant. Definitely not.”
“That’s an awful lot of denying it. Are you sure?” Sophie asked.
“Yes, guys I’m sure. I’m not pregnant. Connor is just talking in hypotheticals. There’s no baby in there.”
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