“Thank you, Riley. So much. I can’t even tell you how much better I feel. I really thought I was going to have to ask Mom and Dad if we could move in with them. You know how well that would have gone.”
I smiled, but didn’t really feel it. Our parents would have helped, but they wouldn’t have made it easy on Chase or Jamie. Dealing with me meant they could keep their house, they could save face with our parents, and they could rebuild their credit.
The only one who would lose out was me.
When Jamie left I went through all the details of the loan I was supposed to sign in less than a week. I knew I couldn’t do both. I had to choose. My sister and her family or my dream.
~*~
At the bank the next day Marshall confirmed what I’d assumed. I couldn’t afford both the loan and to help Jamie. If I helped Jamie then I wouldn’t be able to buy READ. If I bought READ then Jamie’s family would be homeless within weeks.
“What about my house?” I asked in a desperate attempt to do it all.
Marshall clicked a few keys and shook his head. “I’m sorry, Ms. Williams, but that’s not an option. You do have equity in your house, but the bank isn’t going to give you a home equity loan to pay for the business loan, especially as your entire downpayment. They’ll see you as cashing in too much credit and a risky investment.”
I sighed heavily, understanding what Marshall was telling me, but not liking it one bit.
“Thanks for your help. Please move all the cash from my account to the account for this payment. Make sure it gets paid so I know my sister and her family are taken care of.”
Marshall nodded and did as I asked. He read off all the standard terms so I understood what I was doing then I signed my dreams away so I could save my sister and her family.
When I walked out of the bank I wasn’t sure I could face Pam and George. They knew I’d broken up with Connor a few days ago, but they were trying to boost me up telling me I still had READ to look forward to. Instead I had to go into READ and tell them I’d lost that opportunity too. Let them know I’d failed them.
Pam and George were mostly set for retirement, but I knew they were counting on the money from the sale. They were going to buy a big camper and travel. They already sold their house and were closing on the sale the week after their retirement party. I was going to have to tell them that by saving my sister’s family I’d effectively made them homeless.
I just hoped they understood.
Betty was just warming up when I pulled into the parking lot in front of READ. I sat in my car a few minutes, trying to calm down and stop the tears that flowed down my cheeks. I sent Jamie a text letting her know her mortgage had been paid. I had a confirmation printed out from Marshall to give Jamie and Chase, but I wasn’t ready to face them. Especially Chase. He’d stolen my dreams from me and it was going to take me a while to be okay with that.
I knew I had no choice. But Chase did. I gave up my dream of owning READ for Jamie and Skyla and Grayson and the baby.
Just like I gave up Connor for them.
God I wanted to call Connor. The absence of Bite Me! breakfast every morning was a stark reminder of what I’d lost when I’d decided I needed more in my life than Connor. He didn’t understand that, but I still hated that I couldn’t be happy with just him. Then again, with READ no longer a possibility, moving to Chicago was something I was more willing to entertain.
I knew I was emotional and broken, but going through losing my dream with Connor beside me seemed like it would be a whole lot easier.
Instead I was alone.
Always alone.
I pushed away the lonely thoughts and headed into READ. I heard Pam and George’s voices coming from the back hallway and went straight there. I left my purse and lunch on my desk and went into their office. They’d become accustomed to me moping around the store, so neither of them reacted when I dropped into a chair and put my head in my hands.
“Everything will be okay, Riley. I know it’s hard right now, but you’ll find someone else, honey,” Pam said soothingly. I knew she was trying to help, but it was a reminder of just how many things had gone wrong in my life in just a week. I went from having everything I’d ever wanted to losing it all in just five days.
“I don’t think it will be, Pam. I have to tell you guys something.”
“Oh, dear. You’re pregnant, aren’t you? Oh, Riley I’m so sorry. Being a single parent is not easy, but you’re strong and you have people who love you.”
I shook my head and nearly laughed. Being a single mom was so much better than what I had to tell them. At least if I was pregnant I would have a sweet baby at the end of it all. Instead I was going to be left with nothing.
“I’m not pregnant, Pam. I’m also not buying READ.”
“What?” George asked softly, leaning forward in his desk chair. Pam walked over and sat in the chair next to mine and rubbed my back as I started crying all over again.
“My sister came to me last night. Her husband didn’t pay their bills. She needed money. I couldn’t say no. She needed to pay her mortgage or they were going to lose their house. Her kids are little, and she’s pregnant. Her husband finally got a job, but it’s not enough. They needed everything I had saved. I’m so sorry I did this to you!”
I sobbed into my hands, not willing to take any comfort from Pam. I knew I’d ruined their plans, ruined everything for them. They would still be able to retire, but they might have to put it off a little longer until they found a new buyer. I hated that I’d messed up so many lives, but I had no choice.
“Riley, honey, don’t cry. It’s okay. We’re fine. George and I will be fine. We wanted you to have READ because you love it. This has to be hurting you worse than it hurts us. How are you?”
I shook my head. “Not good. I’ve basically spent the last five days crying. Losing Connor and now READ has really taken a toll on me. I don’t know what I’m going to do anymore.”
“You’re going to pick yourself up and dust yourself off. Then you’re going to get your shit together. This isn’t the Riley we know. I know you’re broken right now, honey, but you’re a smart woman. You’ll get everything worked out.”
George’s assertion made me stop crying. He was right. I didn’t sit around and cry over what I lost. I got up and moved on. Losing READ wasn’t something I’d be okay with for a long time, but eventually I’d get over it.
Losing Connor wasn’t something I thought I would get over.
And that was the thing I had to do something about.
~*~
I spent the next week making plans and figuring out what I wanted to do. I didn’t tell anyone what I was thinking because I’d had too many voices in my head since Connor and I broke up. I needed to do what was right for me, not what was right for everyone else in my life.
I planned to be at READ early for the party. We were open for the day, but Pam and George were closing early, around three, so we could get ready for the party. Feeling the need to dress up, I squeezed myself into a Spanx shaper and slipped on a long, black skirt that flared out from the waist. On top I wore a fuchsia sweater that sparkled under certain light. My hair never cooperated, but I did my best with a little bit of curl and a clip to hold some of it back.
I stopped in to help Charlie transport the cupcakes from Bite Me! and grabbed a muffin for a late afternoon snack. Charlie, along with everyone else, had asked me what was going on all week, but I didn’t want anyone to know. I was telling everyone at the party.
By the time four o’clock came, we were set up and ready for our guests. We didn’t do dinner, but had lots of finger foods and plenty of cupcakes. Everything was set up throughout the store with extra tables for guests to sit and eat or wander and mingle. Pam and George invited some friends of theirs and all their family. We were expecting about 200 people with the customers, family, and friends that were coming. It was going to be a heck of a retirement party.
“How are you holding up, Riley?” ask
ed Pam as she approached, a glass of champagne in her hand.
I forced a smile. “Good. It should be a great party. Everyone is so excited for you and George.”
“We’re just lucky we have you. I’m sorry things didn’t work out the way you’d hoped, but I have a feeling it’s all going to end up okay in the end.” Pam wrapped her arm around my shoulder in a motherly way. She and my mother had gotten to be friends over the years and Pam took care of me like my own mom.
“Yes,” I assured her, “it will all be okay. I know it.”
She looked confused and opened her mouth to say something, but George came over. “Darling, people are asking for you. Can I whisk her away, Riley?”
“Of course,” I smiled at George. Pam glanced back at me as George guided her toward a group of people standing near the bar. Pam insisted on having drinks, but George insisted we only offer champagne, beer, and pop, not a full bar.
I made my way through the growing crowd and was relieved when I saw my parents and sisters wave to me. I rushed over and hugged each of them. I saw them all at Sunday dinner, but no one knew what had gone on in my life over the past week. I’d given Jamie the payment details so she knew their house was secure. I wasn’t too talkative with Chase but was grateful he didn’t try to say much to me.
Regretfully, I was also happy to see he’d chosen to stay home with the kids so Jamie could be at the party.
“You look beautiful, honey,” my mom gushed as she hugged me. “This place looks amazing. It’s been too long since we’ve been here.”
“I’m glad you guys could come. Pam and George are so excited.”
“How about you, pumpkin? Have you met the new owner yet?” my dad asked.
I shook my head. “I don’t think it’s sold yet. They had a buyer but it fell through at the last minute.”
Mom caught my eye as her eyebrows drew together. I silently willed her not to say anything and she got the message. I’d explain as much as I could when I had a chance, but I didn’t want to risk Jamie finding out she’d asked me to give up my dreams to bail her family out. It was all going to work out and Jamie would never know she was the catalyst for changing my life.
“Well, you get along with everyone so I’m sure whoever the new owner is will be thrilled to have you on board. I almost wondered if you were going to buy the place. You seem to love it here.”
Jamie’s eyes snapped to mine, but I studiously avoided looking at her. “I do love it here, Dad, but I guess I’m not cut out to be a business owner.”
“You can do anything you put your mind to, sweetie,” Dad insisted. “You would have done a great job if this was what you wanted. I just hope you’re happy.”
“I am, Dad,” I insisted even though I didn’t feel it at that moment. I would be happy again though. It would happen someday.
Mom pulled me aside when Dad got into a conversation with Jamie and Sophie. “I thought you were going to buy READ. What happened?”
I didn’t want to get into it with Mom. I couldn’t tell her about Jamie and Chase because Jamie would kill me, but I had to tell her something. “I ended up not having enough for my downpayment,” I admitted. I wasn’t lying, since that was exactly what happened, but I wasn’t tell her the whole truth either.
“Oh, sweetie, I’m sorry to hear that. I thought everything was a done deal.”
I shrugged. “Yeah, I thought so too, but it’s okay. Everything will work out for the best.”
“Yes, it will. Funny how things always seem to work out in the end.”
I smiled, hoping she was right and everything would work out the way I hoped. I noticed Andy across the room trying to get my attention and told Mom I’d be back.
“Is everything okay?” I asked him when I reached his side.
“Oh, yeah. Mom and Dad wanted to thank everyone for coming and asked that you’re with them.”
I shrugged. “Okay. Are they ready now?” I noticed my friends, led by Carrie, approaching my family. I was glad they’d all finally met and happy that everyone seemed to get along.
“If you are, they are,” Andy said, leading me toward where Pam and George were surrounded by some of our most loyal customers. When he got to them they broke away from the group and George called everyone’s attention. I didn’t want to steal their spotlight, but once they finished thanking everyone for coming and supporting READ, I’d tell everyone my news. That I was going to stay until READ was sold and then I was going to be leaving also.
Moving to Chicago.
“Hello, everyone,” he began. “Pam and I would like to thank you all for coming here tonight. As you all know, READ was Pammy’s brain child when we were much younger. We love this place, but we’re ready to go out into the world and see a little more of it, outside a book.”
Everyone clapped and cheered for Pam and George. I was thrilled for them, but I would miss them. They’d been such a huge part of my life for so long that not seeing them regularly was going to be hard. But I’d never hold them back from their dreams. They’d talked for so long about traveling one day that I knew they’d love it when they were gone.
“You all know we love you, and rest assured we’ll be leaving you in good hands. We knew for years that things would still be run well once we were gone and when we decided to go, it only made sense to turn things over to the one person we knew loved READ as much as we did. It’s been an interesting week, but we’d like to ask all of you to raise a glass to toast the new owner of READ, Riley Williams!”
Twenty-Eight
Huh? Did he just say me?
The grin on Pam’s face confirmed what my brain heard. Everyone was staring at me and clapping. I had no idea what was going on.
I held up a finger to the crowd so I could talk to Pam and George for a minute. They couldn’t give me READ. They needed the money. And I was leaving. I decided if I didn’t have READ I was going to have Connor.
“What are you guys doing? You can’t give me READ. What about your trailer?”
Pam shook her head. “We’re not giving it to you, Riley.”
Then I shook my head. She had to be losing it. I didn’t have the money for a loan. There was no way for me to get the money. If she wasn’t giving it to me, what other option was there? “Pam, I don’t have the money, or the loan. Besides I’m leaving. I was going to tell everyone after your speech. I’m moving to Chicago. Connor is enough for me. Giving up READ was hard, but giving up Connor was impossible. I can’t accept READ from you because I won’t be here.”
“That’s not very good news,” a voice said from right behind me. Tingles erupted over my entire body. I hadn’t heard his voice in two weeks and I wondered if I’d ever hear it again.
“Why not?” I asked, turning to look at him.
It wasn’t possible for someone to change in just two weeks, but he looked different. He was grinning at me, which was different than the last time I’d seen him. He was wearing jeans that looked soft enough to cuddle up on and a long sleeved t-shirt that highlighted his broad shoulders and muscled chest. His blue eyes sparkled at me with a mischief that made me warm all over.
“Well, it’s not good news because I bought READ. No mortgage. No loans. Just you running the business you were meant to run.”
“What are you talking about?”
Connor grinned at me and stepped closer. “I sold my condo. It went fast because it’s a pretty great place to live. I had a lot of cash in savings waiting for something, but I never knew what. I went back to Chicago before I finished up with everything here and it felt wrong. The studio was different. The city was too big. And I didn’t have you. Nothing about being in Chicago was right, but I wasn’t going to admit you were right. I was too stubborn for that.”
I smiled and Connor winked at me.
“I came back for a few days this week. Paperwork to sign and moving arrangements to make. I went in to talk to Brady. He wasn’t very nice to me.” I glanced out in the crowd and saw Brady watching us with interest, his i
ntense stare focused on Connor. “He told me how everything fell apart when I left. He told me how upset you were and then he told me about Jamie and Chase needing money for their house.” I looked out and saw my sister. We didn’t have a microphone on us and Connor was speaking quietly, but I knew she knew we were talking about her when she ducked her chin. “I knew, without a doubt, I knew all that cash I’d saved up was finally going to be put to good use.”
“Connor, you can’t do that. It’s too much.”
He shook his head. “First, it’s already done. The deed is in your name only. I didn’t want you to feel like you had to be tied to me if you decided you didn’t want me in your life anymore. Second, it’s not too much. Pam and George gave me the same deal they were going to give you, since it’s going to you anyway. And third, there’s no such thing as too much where you’re concerned. If it makes you happy I’ll spend every last penny I have.”
“Why? You don’t even live here anymore,” I argued like it made perfect sense to say that.
“Haven’t you been listening, honey? Chicago didn’t agree with me because I didn’t have you. It felt right when it was flashy and shiny and I could show you off. Without you it was just a dull city with lots of wind.”
“What about your dad?”
Connor shrugged. “He’s going to believe what he wants about me. It doesn’t really matter. I need to let go of my hate and focus on love. Which is where you come in. Any chance you still love me?”
I rolled my eyes at him. What a ridiculous question.
“Can I take that as a yes?” I nodded and he wrapped his arms around me. He didn’t kiss me, but he dragged me close to his body and dipped his face low to nuzzle against my neck. Tears overflowed my eyes as I finally let myself believe Connor was back. I was getting READ and Connor.
He pulled out of my embrace and wiped the tears from my cheeks with his thumbs. "Well, that's the best news I've heard all day. But I'm hoping we can top that one."
He stepped back, his hands steadying me on my shoulders. He let go with one hand and dug in his pocket, then let his hand glide down my arm as he dropped to his knee.
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