Minor Demons

by Randall J. Morris

  “Why should I care? I don’t know you. I don’t trust you. While I voted for you to take first place it was simply because I hate Lucian MORE than I dislike Cain. What’s to stop you from telling me all of this and then simply giving Leech your minor demon position if you become a middle demon?”

  “I don’t need Leech to have the same skills and powers that I have. I need a team with a little variety. Demons have worked together in the past before. Even major demons have worked together when Hell required it. Hell requires it right now, General. I’m asking you to be the innovative major demon that I know you are and let me command a team that will actually pull in enough souls to start to put an end to our current shortage.”

  “If I allow this, how much of your combined soul count will the two of you give to the department of idolatry?”

  “One third.”

  “You almost had me, little demon. I won’t agree to let a talent like Leech go for one-third of your soul count. I don’t think you deserve the other two-thirds and I won’t negotiate on this point.”

  “I agree with you. That’s why I won’t be taking two-thirds for the department of murder. I’ll be taking one-third as well.”

  “Then where is the other third going?”

  “Well...”

  “Shadow, I’m tired of listening to you. I’ll consider your offer, but I want to hear the rest of this from Leech. I’ll talk to Leech alone now. You should be off celebrating.”

  Shadow looked at Leech, who nodded.

  “Fair enough, General. For the record, who else voted for me when the Six were choosing first place?”

  “Leviathan. Lucian, Vixen, and Asmodeus voted for Nightmare. It’s not like it really matters at this point.”

  “I guess we’ll have to agree to disagree, General. Leech, I’ll see you later.”

  Leech nodded and Shadow turned and left. Baal looked at Leech and shook his head.

  “Why are you throwing away a minor demon position to work with that idiot? Walking in here like he can tell me what to do in MY department... I should have him torn in half.”

  “He apologized, General. You know as well as I do how hard it is for a demon to apologize.”

  “Why do you want to do this? Answer me that.”

  “I want to do this because he’s right, General. Hell is falling. We don’t have enough souls coming in to sustain ourselves. When I was recovering in your department that was the best I had eaten in weeks.”

  “So you’ll just go along with whatever plan Shadow pulls out of his ass?”

  Leech raised both eyebrows.

  “General, a lot of this was my plan. My ideas. When I said that I wanted to work in your department, Shadow listened. He originally wanted me to take his minor demon spot in the department of murder when he got promoted. I told him I didn’t want that.”

  Baal stroked his chin and considered what Leech had just said.

  “So the other third of your soul count?”

  “Will probably go to Leviathan and the department of jealousy. That’s why Shadow wanted to know who else voted for him.”

  “I lied. Leviathan didn’t vote. My vote counts for double.”

  Leech grinned.

  “Very funny, sir.”

  “You’re just going to hand Leviathan a third of your soul count?”

  “No. Shadow is going to talk to Murmur right now. We want to place him in the department of jealousy with a similar deal to the one we just offered you.”

  “Leech, I’m warning you now. If you and Shadow go back on this deal, I will kill you both. I don’t care how promising your career looks or who Shadow is related to. I will strangle you both to death with my bare hands.”

  “Noted, General. You have nothing to worry about. Neither of us is in Lucian’s department.”

  “That doesn’t mean you don’t know how to lie.”

  “Look... all the propriety and bullshit aside, I want to work in your department. I hate Lucian, I’ve met Cain, and I’ve seen the effect Vixen and her daughters can have. You are the one who has my respect. When people look at you, they don’t care who your parents are. They don’t care what other demons may have the same amount of power. They listen to you. They respect and even idolize you. Coming from a family that is just now starting to get attention for being exemplary, I need that. I want that for myself. I want to be like you, Baal. I don’t care who I have to cut down to get there, I will work for you and become like you.”

  “Kid, that is the least amount of bullshit you’ve fed me since we met. Well done.”

  Leech smiled.

  “I recycled it, General. It’s basically the same speech I used on Shadow.”

  “Well it worked. You can tell Shadow I accept his deal. Make sure the two of you get everything taken care of before tomorrow. Once Charon is ready to leave, he waits for no one.”

  CHAPTER 19

  “I talked him into it.”

  Leech returned triumphantly and punched Shadow in the shoulder. Shadow barely even acknowledged his presence.

  “Shadow? I said he agreed.”

  Shadow turned his attention to Leech.

  “What? He’ll do it?”

  “Yes. What’s wrong with you?”

  “I’m just thinking. Don’t worry about it.”

  Leech punched him in the arm again.

  “Leech, stop doing that.”

  “We’re friends now, Shadow. You have to let me in on what’s going on.”

  Shadow scanned the area to make sure no one had heard Leech mention that they were friends.

  “Leech, you shouldn’t say shit like that. Anyone could be listening.”

  “Right... keeping up appearances and all that. How about a drink?”

  “That actually sounds pretty good right now. I have some bad news.”

  “Well wait until I’ve had some alcohol and a few souls. We can talk about how to fix your master plan then.”

  “Dagon’s?”

  “Dagon’s.”

  As the demons made their way to Dagon’s Bar, Leech continued to chatter. Shadow blocked it out. He needed a replacement and he needed it immediately. He had found out that Murmur had been recruited by a minor demon in another department, so their plan was pretty much dead. As they entered Dagon’s, Shadow could hear everyone laughing, drinking, and having a good time. They took a seat in a corner booth and Shadow threw a small bag of money out on the table.

  “Order what you want. I’m still thinking...”

  As the waitress arrived to take their order, she cupped her hands over her mouth in shock.

  “Oh it’s Shadow and Leech! I have to tell Dagon!”

  “We’d rather be...”

  The waitress ran off without taking their drink orders.

  “...left alone. Bitch.”

  Leech got up from the table and followed her. Shadow was about to admit to himself that he didn’t know what to do when Dagon got on the microphone and called for everyone’s attention.

  Dagon had long strands of greasy, dark hair clumped together all over his head. He had a beard long enough that it likely shed into everything he cooked. He wore a grease stained apron that looked like it had stains from before Shadow was born. Shadow almost couldn’t help but laugh at the legendary baker of hell. This was the first time he had seen him out amongst his customers.

  “My fellow demons, we have a real treat tonight. Celebrating their recent victory in the trails, we have three of the top five demons with us. We have fourth place, Leech!”

  Dagon pointed at Leech and a spotlight focused in on him carrying two beers back towards their table. He raised both beers in the air and soaked in the applause.

  “Third place, Lilith!”

  The spotlight moved in on Lilith, who was surrounded by dozens of male demons. Her table was full of drinks that she clearly didn’t pay for. She looked annoyed and bored. At the mention of her name, she merely waved without even looking up.

  “And first place, the nephew
of General Cain... Shadow!”

  As the spotlight zoomed in on Shadow, he didn’t look up either. He flipped everyone off with one hand. Many of the demons laughed. Leech set both of the beers down on the table and started drinking.

  “Leech, I can’t think of anything. Murmur has already been...”

  Shadow was cut off by the sound of a whip crashing down on their table. It split the table in half. Shadow’s eyes followed the whip to its owner: Lilith. She looked a lot less bored.

  “I figured maybe we could have a rematch, Shadow.”

  “In Dagon’s Bar? Are you really that bored?”

  “Actually, yes. I only got a minor demon offer from the queen bitch. I don’t want to work with her and her legitimate daughters.”

  Lilith made air quotes with her fingers when she said the word “legitimate.” Leech drew his axe but Shadow held out his hand for him to stop.

  “Actually, Lilith, I’m in a bit of a bind. Why don’t you sit down with us and have a drink?”

  “I just split your table in half...”

  “Wait here.”

  Shadow made his way across the room to Dagon.

  “Dagon, we’re going to need to use the VIP room upstairs for a few minutes. Me, Leech, and Lilith. General Cain would see it as a personal favor.”

  “No one’s using it right now. Head on up. Take as long as you need.”

  Shadow headed back and rejoined Lilith and Leech.

  “We’ll talk in the VIP room upstairs. After you.”

  Several other demons saw that Lilith was going upstairs with Leech and Shadow. They followed. Shadow turned to Leech.

  “When we get up there, I need you to keep them out. Murmur has already been recruited. I’m going to try to get Lilith instead.”

  “That’s insane, Shadow. She probably hates you.”

  “Leech, I need you to guard the door. I have to talk to her. It’s either that or I can guard the door while you stare at her and drool.”

  Leech frowned and mumbled something under his breath but he reluctantly agreed to watch the door. Shadow and Lilith entered and sat down. Lilith grinned at Shadow.

  “Your friend is adorable. Do they make one in a normal demon size or does he only come in runt?”

  “He’s a good fighter and he’s a lot smarter than he looks.”

  “What is this about, Shadow? My offer to let you nail me expired in the death pit when you turned in to that...”

  Lilith shuddered.

  “I don’t even know why I’m talking to you. Do you want to fight? If not, I’m headed back downstairs.”

  “I want you to work with me... and Leech... after you accept your mother’s minor demon position.”

  Lilith laughed.

  “No offense, I’m sure you guys are great but I will never work for Vixen. She won’t claim me as her daughter and I won’t work anywhere near her department.”

  “This is the best of both worlds, Lilith. You get to work outside of her department and you get a minor demon role. What do you have to lose at this point?”

  She got up and started heading towards the door. Shadow grabbed her arm and shoved her back in her seat. Lilith grinned mischievously back at him.

  “Oh so we’re playing rough tonight, are we?”

  “There’s an easy way to solve this, Lilith. I’ll give you your rematch. If I win, you accept the minor demon spot and work with us. If you win, I’ll leave you alone.”

  “No, let’s make this interesting. If I win... I get to decapitate your little bodyguard out there.”

  “Why do you want to decapitate Leech?”

  “I’m bored... and I don’t think you can beat me a second time. No charm from me and no shadow monster from you. Deal?”

  “No. I won’t risk Leech’s life like that. If you don’t want to work with us then you can go fuck yourself.”

  Shadow got up and started towards the door. Lilith snapped her whip, caught his ankle, and flung him back into the chair he had been sitting in.

  “We weren’t done talking yet, hun. Don’t storm off in the middle of a conversation.”

  “Bitch... that was the end of a conversation. I don’t accept your terms.”

  “Then I have new terms. Let’s talk this out.”

  Lilith got out of her seat, pulled Shadow’s leg up on the table, and started massaging the ankle she had caught with her whip. She continued this for about thirty seconds and then she lifted Shadow’s ankle to her lips and kissed it. Shadow felt a jolt run up his entire leg and he couldn’t help but smile.

  “There. All better. Ready for my new terms?”

  “Fine. No decapitating Leech.”

  She giggled.

  “That’s not what I really want. I realize now that maybe you can help me get what I really want. You want to help me get what I want, don’t you baby?”

  “It depends what you want. Stop trying to play whatever game this is and tell me.”

  “I want Vixen to admit that I’m her daughter.”

  Shadow laughed.

  “You realize that she’s never going to do that, right?”

  Lilith looked angry.

  “What do you have to lose, Shadow? Just go with me to talk to her.”

  “That is what you want? Then you’ll work with me and Leech? Done.”

  “No... you have to convince her or no deal.”

  “I can’t do that. Work your little charm magic and maybe you’ll get your way.”

  “Go with me. At least try.”

  “Fine. Let’s go. Right now. We’ll talk to her and it will be a waste of time. It’s not like I have any other decent prospects to join our team so if I can’t recruit you, I’m pretty much screwed no matter what.”

  Lilith winked.

  “I like it when you’re screwed no matter what.”

  “The playful flirting stops now. It’s getting on my nerves and wasting time. Let’s get Leech and go.”

  “He’s coming too? You really think he’ll be useful talking to Vixen?”

  “Yes, I do. Now stop questioning my judgment.”

  Shadow opened the door.

  “Leech, we’re going to talk to Vixen. Move out of the way so I can clear a path.”

  “No, I got this bro.”

  Leech winked at Lilith as he pulled his axe from his back. He swung it in wide arcs, forcing the other demons to back away. Lilith giggled and tapped Shadow on the shoulder.

  “Maybe he has his uses after all. He’s cute. I want one as a pet.”

  “Sorry, Lilith. There’s only one and he already has a job.”

  “What’s that?”

  “He’s my bodyguard.”

  Leech tried to hide his grin as they left, but he had overheard Shadow and he couldn’t help but smile.

  CHAPTER 20

  “So, Lily, do you think you could have defeated me in the death pit?”

  Lilith looked at Leech and laughed.

  “First, don’t call me Lily. Second, of course I would have defeated you.”

  “I’ll have to prove you wrong someday. I’m a better fighter than you realize.”

  As they walked, Shadow was amazed that Leech was able to breathe and speak in complete sentences. It finally dawned on him that Lilith probably had the power to turn her charm on and off.

  “So when we get there are we just going to try to talk her into it?”

  “No, Leech. I have a plan. It should give everyone what they want... for the most part.”

  Lilith raised both eyebrows.

  “You don’t get to change our agreement. She has to admit she’s my mother.”

  “She will... and then you’ll become a minor demon and work with the two of us.”

  Leech’s shoulders slouched and he looked like he was pouting. Shadow was beginning to realize that he was annoyed. Lilith got to join the group as a minor demon and Shadow had specifically told Leech he had to turn his offer down. Leech had kept quiet about his annoyance but Shadow had a feeling he might blow up
at any moment. As they approached the entrance to the department of lust, two demonesses met them at the gate.

  “What do you three want?”

  Lilith struck with her whip and wrapped it around one of their throats. She kicked the other in the jaw and then pulled on her whip which brought the other demoness’ face into direct contact with her fist. Both of them were knocked out cold.

  “We don’t have time for this.”

  Lilith stepped over them and kept going. Leech looked at Shadow, who shrugged. They both followed. Lilith led them directly to Vixen’s chambers and threw open the doors. The three of them walked in on a naked Vixen being fed grapes and relaxing on a bed. Leech’s jaw flew open. Shadow used two fingers to close Leech’s eyes. Leech nodded in gratitude.

  “Thanks buddy.”

  Shadow gripped the angel’s blade underneath his cloak and they continued. Vixen smiled as they entered the room.

  “So you’ve come to accept my offer.”

  Lilith smiled but kept her eyebrows arched down.

  “Not quite, mother. I have some conditions.”

  Shadow cut in.

  “Condition number one. Put some goddamn clothes on.”

  Vixen laughed. She snapped her fingers and several demons attached her dark pink armor and threw a dark pink cape over her shoulders.

  “There you go. Now are you three here for a four-way or what?”

  Lilith looked at Shadow, inviting him to speak.

  “Lilith is going with us when we journey to earth tomorrow. She’ll work with us permanently. She won’t be trained by anyone in your department.”

  “That’s what she wants? To follow two idiots around on Earth?”

  “No actually what she wants is for you to admit that she’s your daughter.”

  Vixen laughed.

  “There’s no way I can do that without ruining my reputation, even if I was her mother. I only breed with major demons. There’s simply no way I’m her mother.”

  “What if there was a way for you to save face and recruit your daughter?”

  “I’m listening.”

  Lilith pulled Shadow aside.

  “You’re going to make her admit publicly that she’s my mother and that Panic is my father, right?”