by Amanda
No Deal Breakers
Copyright 2014 Amanda Clark
Published by Amanda Clark at Smashwords
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1
"You made this decision as much as I did, we’re both adults here. Will you please come out here and discuss this with me?" Brian sighed and rested his head against the bathroom door. "Please, Aria. I promise I won’t hurt you, but we have to talk about this. We made a commitment, and we need to live it out."
"No, we don’t need to live it out, we can get an annulment. It was a stupid idea, and neither of us thought through it. I don’t know why you’re pushing this, we can put this behind us and both just move on. You know what they say, what happens in—"
"If what you’re about to say has anything to do with things staying in Vegas, save it. Neither of us were drinking, at all. Yes, it was a thoughtless decision, on both of our parts. But, believe it or not, I believe marriage is important and sacred. I’m not giving up before we even give it a shot. I don’t believe in divorce, especially without cause—"
It was her turn to cut him off. "You need cause? How about; we’ve known each other for just a few hours! How’s that for cause?" She had a point, but he just couldn’t give up on this. He could tell she was scared and desperate from the moment he met her.
She didn’t seem desperate for a husband or a free hand out, but she seemed scared to death and desperate to escape something, or someone. As her husband, it was his responsibility to help protect her from what or whoever it was that had her running scared. Regardless of how they ended up in this union, he would care for her and protect her. He made vows to her, and intended to keep them. Brian Harris was a man of his word.
"Look, I know this is crazy, but I have never, ever taken the easy way out, and I don’t intend to start now. We need to at least talk about this, face to face, not on opposite sides of a door. Just come out and talk to me, I swear I’ll stay on the other side of the room and I won’t touch you. We need to figure this out." Brian plead with her, he couldn’t count how many times he’d begged her to come out of the bathroom in the last hour and a half. It was coming down to a battle of the wills, and if Brian Harris was anything, it was stubborn. He smiled as he thought of all the times growing up his mother had said, "Brian William-Eugene Harris, I swear you are the most stubborn thing God ever created!" Yep, he could do stubborn.
"When you’re ready I’ll be here, waiting. I’ve got as long as it takes." He said as he walked across the room to give her some space, and find a seat. He deliberately sat down in the chair farthest from the bathroom and on the other side of the table, he wanted to make her as comfortable as possible, and he needed her to know that he wasn’t a threat to her. He laced his fingers together behind his head, and leaned back in the chair thinking about Aria’s behavior.
When she approached him, she was confident, and secure. Frankly, he actually wondered for a moment if she was a prostitute when she came up to him. He shook his head at that absurd thought. With as terrified as she was of him the second they got in the taxi to head to the wedding chapel, he knew better. He was actually relieved to realize that she was shy around men, and not the aggressor he originally mistook her for. It could have been really awkward for her to try to make a sale, when he just wanted a wife. She was flirtatious and talkative, until they were alone. The second they got in the cab the shutters came down, she scooted to the opposite end of the seat, and she would flinch away at the most innocent of touches. He thought for sure she was having second thoughts, after all, who marries someone they just met? He gave her several opportunities to back out, but she kept insisting that it was what she wanted. That’s why he was so shocked that the second they were back in his room she locked herself in the bathroom and demanded an annulment. She was like a frightened kitten, and that broke his heart. She reminded him of Julia right after….he shook the thoughts off, not wanting his mind to go down that path. What was he thinking? Who proposes to and marries a stranger? Brian Harris did, apparently.
He heard the bathroom door click open, and went rigid. Was she going to talk to him, or dart for the door? He was putting on a tough façade, but truth be told, if she really wanted to go, he’d let her. Overbearing wasn’t really his nature, there was just something about her that called to him to protect her from the moment he saw her he was drawn to her.
She came around the corner and perched on the edge of the low dresser that held the television. "Okay, let’s talk." She said, barely above a whisper, he noticed her eyes darting between him and the door, before finally settling on her hands. He immediately relaxed his posture and slumped down into the chair to make himself look less intimidating, and spoke as gently as he could.
"Good, that’s a start. I gave you ample opportunity to change your mind before hand, and you insisted that this is what you wanted, so why back out now, after we’re legally married?"
She continued to stare at her hands, wringing them together in her lap. "I don’t know." She mumbled.
"Okay, fair enough, so what made you say yes in the first place?" Her head snapped up at that, her chocolate eyes searing into his, she chewed on her thumbnail as she mulled over her answer.
"I don’t want to talk about it. I think I just realized how crazy this is, I don’t even know anything about you. I don’t even know your full name, birthday, favorite color, or how you take your coffee. I’m just realizing this was a really bad idea."
"You don’t have to talk about it, if you don’t want to. But, I will listen without judgment, when you’re ready to. I married a stranger too, you know. We both knew this was crazy when we agreed to do it, but we did, and we’re married now. My full name is Brian William-Eugene Harris. I was born on July third, around five in the morning. My momma still holds those thirty-two hours of hard labor against me." He chuckled at the thought. "My favorite color is the deep blue of the sky just before dawn, when it’s just starting to lighten up. I take my coffee with cream. Real cream, not that powdered stuff, and I drink real coffee not instant, and not decaf. We have the rest of our lives to get to know every little detail about each other. How about you? Full name, birth date, favorite color, and how do you drink your coffee?"
For the first time since they met, she giggled. A real giggle, not a forced flirtatious one, but an actual giggle. It made his heart lighten just the slightest bit. Maybe this would work after all. "Let’s see, my full name is Arianna Rochelle….Harris, but I prefer to be called Aria. My birthday is December twelfth. My favorite color is green, and I drink my coffee black and strong."
"Green? What sort of an answer is that? What kind of green? The color of moss on a tree? The color of spring grass? The color of my nephew’s diaper?"
She rolled her eyes, "I don’t know, just green I suppose. I’ve never really had to think about it beyond that. Definitely not the diaper though." They both laughed at that. "Look, you’re a really nice guy, and handsome too, I’m sure you have no problems at all finding women to sleep with. You could have a new one every night if you wanted, so why tie yourself down to just one? Surely there are easier ways to have your…needs met than to saddle yourself with a wife."
Brian was stunned. Is that really what she thought of him? That he just wanted a wife for his physical needs. "Is that what you think? That I marri
ed you for sex?" She dropped her head again.
"Well, why else…yes, that’s what I think."
"Well, I’ll have you know that I have no intention of sleeping with you, at least not until we both know each other, and are both ready to do so. I wouldn’t sleep with a woman I don’t know and love, even if she is my wife. I have no intention of having a different girl every night. I want one girl, for the rest of my life, to be my first and my last. I meant it when I said I take marriage seriously. Regardless of how this marriage started, it is a marriage and I intend on respecting it as such. I would never force you to do anything you were uncomfortable with, or pressure you into anything you didn’t want. We can cross all of these bridges when we come to them.
"But, know that I married you because I want someone to share every aspect of my life with, not just my bed. Which you won’t be sharing until we’re both ready for that. This is a partnership, Aria." He could feel himself getting angry as he thought of what she thought of him. She just sat there, staring at him as if he’d sprouted another head.
"I’m going to take a shower; we have an early flight in the morning." He decided that they both needed some space, and in the confines of the tiny hotel room, that was the best he could do.
2
Aria watched in stunned disbelief as Brian gathered his shaving kit and pajamas and padded off to the bathroom. Did he really mean what he said? Did he really intend on taking her home and not sharing his bed with her? No way could she get so lucky, luck wasn’t something that was ever on her side.
What would posses a man to marry a woman he didn’t intend to sleep with? What was wrong with him? Surely something had to be wrong with him to marry a stranger and just take care of her without any strings attached. He did say he wouldn’t sleep with her until they were both ready. What if she was never ready? Could he live with that? Would he even want her when he found out who she was?
Definitely not, especially if he was a virgin like he hinted at. No one would want her after who she had been. She didn’t have a choice but to go home with him, he had made that clear. She sighed and looked at the door.
He had given her a choice. She could walk out the door now and disappear from his life forever. She realized that he was giving her her space, time to think, and a choice. What other choice did she have? She thought over her options, as far as she could tell she had two: find a shelter and hope they had a bed, not likely since she didn’t have any children, and she'd more than likely end up back where she started, or worse, or move to Iowa and live with Brian.
He had offered to take her home with him and live as husband and wife, and according to him that meant taking care of her and caring for her needs. Maybe she could do that. He seemed nice enough, and honestly, he was her best option. No way would anyone think to search for her way out there. She’d get a job and earn her own way, she’d cook and clean, and make him so happy that she was around to help that he wouldn’t want to get rid of her, even when he realized she couldn’t be the wife he needed, even when he found out how damaged she was. She would save as much money as possible, just in case he got tired of the platonic marriage and kicked her out. She could make it on her own when that happened.
Brian came out of the bathroom dressed in blue plaid pajama bottoms and a heather gray long sleeved t-shirt. As he went around the room tidying his things she took the time to really look at him. He was several inches taller than her, probably around six feet; he had dark brown hair, slightly shaggy, but otherwise well kept and professional looking, and the most beautiful blue eyes she had ever seen. He was certainly easy on the eyes, but not overpowering or intimidating in anyway, not like the men she knew, he carried himself with confidence, but he wasn’t arrogant. He looked up and caught her staring at him; she felt the heat flood to her cheeks and ears as she went red at being caught.
"Did you mean what you said? That you could be married to me without expecting sex?" She just had to know, if she was going to do this she needed to lay out her boundaries now.
"Of course I did. It’s a big house, you can have whichever room you want, though I do expect us to be a partnership, to communicate, and work at our marriage together. We won’t be just two strangers living under the same roof. We’ll go as slowly as we need, but we need to at least try to get to know each other, and build a friendship if nothing else." He finished packing his bag, and sat back in the chair he had vacated earlier.
"Okay, I think I can do that. Can I ask you something?"
"Anything, shoot."
She took a deep breath, and prepared herself for what she needed to know. "What possessed you to marry a total stranger? You keep talking about marriage being sacred and special, and I saw you bow your head before you ate. Why would someone that believes in something that much do something so, so…."
"Stupid? Irrational? Thoughtless?" He interrupted her with amusement lacing his tone and a raised eyebrow.
She couldn’t respond. It was none of her business, she shouldn’t have asked. All of the confidence she’d gained earlier left her, she knew better than to speak out of turn to a man, keeping her tongue under control had always been an issue for her.
She heard him sigh heavily, and then begin his explanation. "I met Kara right after I graduated. I worked at her father’s firm. We were engaged for almost two years. Today was supposed to be our wedding day. I guess I was wallowing in self pity, I wanted a wife, and well, there you were, and you…you said yes." He shrugged, and looked down at the table, not meeting her gaze.
"That makes sense, what happened? With you and Kara, I mean. Why did you marry me today instead of her?" She thought she should be angry that he had just married the first person to say yes, not because he cared about her, or wanted her but because he was mourning the loss of another relationship. She couldn’t bring herself to be mad at him. She was using him, too.
"My dad had a second heart attack, so I flew back home to be with my family. I came back a few days earlier than I planned, I went to her apartment to surprise her and found her in bed with another man. It turns out she had been in love with him for most of her life. Her parents approved of me; I was a suitable husband for her. They don’t approve of the mechanic she was with. She intended to be married to me while dating him at the same time. I realized that day that she never really cared about me. That was a little over seven months ago. I quit my job and moved back home that same week."
She was surprised he was being so honest with her; he certainly didn’t have to be as forthcoming as he was. In her world no one was honest about who they were, ever. It made her feel a little more comfortable around him. He tolerated her questions well, even if they weren’t appropriate, he didn’t seem surprised or offended that she was speaking so openly to him. She was shocked at how quickly she was warming to this stranger. She had never felt at all at ease around a man before.
"I’m so sorry, that’s awful. No wonder you married me!" She stood up, needing something to do, she looked around the room to find something to sleep in, and then she remembered she didn’t bring anything with her when she left. It looked like she would be sleeping in her jeans. She cursed under her breath and decided to head to the bathroom for a shower, she turned on her heel and ran right into Brian.
She immediately jumped back at the contact. "Here, wear these for tonight." He held out a pair of pajama pants just like the ones he was wearing, and a white t-shirt. "Do you need to go home and get your things? Quit a job? Or let your family know? I’m sorry, I should have asked earlier. I wasn’t thinking." She took the clothes he offered and stepped around him, keeping her eyes downcast.
"Um, no, thanks for the pajamas." She smiled weakly and headed toward the bathroom.
"Hey wait." She stopped and turned to face him, he was in the middle of taking his shirt off, revealing an unexpectedly muscled chest. She felt her eyes go wide, what was he thinking? He had just said— "Trade me shirts. This one’s warmer, and it’s the only casual long sleeve one I brought." He s
miled a lopsided smile and held the shirt out to her. She quickly swapped him shirts and half ran to the bathroom to take her shower.
She stood in front of the mirror after her shower, finger combing her hair. She didn’t even have a hairbrush with her for crying out loud. She had used Brian’s toothpaste and her finger to clean her teeth. She felt like she was making the right choice-the only choice. She just couldn’t get over feeling guilt at roping Brian into a loveless platonic marriage. It might be in her best interest, but it certainly wasn’t in his. He’d want a real wife, and kids. He would want someone that shared his faith…whatever that was, he hadn’t really talked about it at all, but she could tell he was some sort of religious. That was something she hadn’t been in years, not since her father’s betrayal. What kind of a God would allow a child to lose both of her parents, and then have to live in that hell?
Not any kind she wanted to be associated with. A few of the other girls she knew had clung to God, but not her, she couldn’t. The God she experienced first hand was not the same God that her mother had taught her about as a child.
Her thoughts flitted back to Brian, surely he’d get enough of this sham and kick her out eventually. She’d just have to save enough money and hope that he’d let her stay with him until she could stand on her own two feet. She looked at her reflection in the mirror, her brown eyes were too big in her face, she could see the dark circles underneath and her complexion was much grayer than she recalled, her hair was almost black from the water, it hung down below her shoulders soaking the top of Brian’s shirt. She grabbed the blow dryer and began drying her hair and the shirt, though she knew it was too wet to get it completely dry.
She was glad that he had traded her shirts at the last minute. This one was much thicker and darker than the thin white one he had first handed her. She was really glad he had thought to trade her, and then it hit her, he was protecting her modesty. That had to be part of it; he knew that the thin white material would leave nothing to the imagination. Her eyes welled with tears, no one had ever done something so sweet, and caring for her, men always wanted to get her out of her clothes, not into them. The thought caused tears to well up in her eyes, she blinked them away. She didn't know what to make of him wanting to get her into more clothes instead of less, this was a first for her. And he was her husband! She shook her head and let out a small laugh, her husband. Never in a million years did she see her life taking this turn. She turned off the blow dryer, tied her hair into a loose bun with a hair tie she had in her pants pocket, tightened the drawstring on the way-too-big pants, and walked back into the room.