by Amanda
"I want you to know that you always, always have a choice with me. no matter what we're doing, you say stop and we're done. No questions, no hesitation. And if you ever decide to 'just lie there' to appease me, I will stop."
"I know, and that's just one of the many reasons I love you," she said as she leaned forward to kiss him deeply.
"So, how are you doing with all of this?" Aria surprised him by asking later that morning while they were finishing breakfast.
"Me? What do you mean how am I doing?"
"Yes, you. I've known since the moment I told you about my past that you wanted to see the men that hurt me punished. Now we find out that you know one of them, were almost related to him and he walked away without punishment. That must have been weird for you. So, I ask again, how are you doing with everything?"
He pushed his empty plate away and leaned back in his chair, "I'm still processing. When I realized who he was it was such a battle with myself, probably the worst I've ever fought. Part of me wanted to pick you up and run as far away from there as I could to keep you safe, another part of me had to hold back from killing him…or at least causing bodily harm. I've never felt rage like that before, I saw red and was shaking so bad, it was everything I could do to stay glued to that spot and not charge him or scoop you up and run." Remembering it sent chills through him even now.
"I was really worried you were going to attack him there for a moment, when he fell into me." he groaned and ran a hand down his face.
"I was. I'm not proud of it, but seeing his hands on you, even accidentally, just snapped something inside me and I lost it."
She stood, and came to stand behind him, wrapping her arms around his neck and planting a kiss on his cheek. "Almost. You almost lost it, but you didn't. no one's ever protected me like that. Thank you. I'm glad you were willing to, but I'm also glad you didn't need to."
"I'm glad Paul was there to stop me, I haven't felt anything close to anger like that since Julia was raped," he admitted, trying to hold back the emotion that was assaulting him from both memories.
"You never did tell me about that…I mean, you don't have to, of course, but I have wondered about it a few times since that night," she resumed her place across the table from him.
He took a deep breath to steady himself, "She went to a party with some friends, a boy she'd known her entire life offered her a drink, she didn't think twice about accepting it, why would she? They went to kindergarten together, were in the same Sunday school class, and had the same group of friends their whole lives. They were even Mary and Joseph in the Christmas play when they were eight.
"She had no reason not to trust him, not when he handed her a cup and not when she started feeling sick so he offered to drive her home." He paused to take a breath and ready himself to tell the next part. "She stopped trusting him when he pulled off onto an old dirt road a few miles from our house and forced her into his backseat. By that point the drugs were in full effect and she said she felt completely out of control of her own body." He shuddered as he recalled Julia telling the story from the witness stand.
"Steven actually found her that night, in our barn where that…that…jerk dumped her. She and Steven were best friends, he lived near us, and they would leave each other notes and gifts out in the barn all the time, since they were kids. He knew she was going to be out with her girl friends that night, he was upset about being friend-zoned, they'd had a fight," he waved a hand dismissively, "I don't remember all the details, anyway, he was bringing over an apology letter when he found her drugged, disoriented, and disheveled, for lack of a better word.
"Her clothing was torn and in a pile next to her. He didn't even bother re-dressing her. Steven wrapped her in his jacket and carried her up to the house. They immediately took her to the hospital. The…jerk didn't even use protection, which made it easy to get his DNA of course, but it also had my whole family on edge for weeks, breath held that she wouldn't become pregnant as a result. She told us all she'd find a good home for the baby, if there was one. Still we all just hoped and prayed it wouldn't happen, she was the least worried of all of us," his tears were flowing heavily now.
"Of course, he denied it and claimed that it was consensual, the whole town was divided. People accused Julia of lying for attention, the whole thing got really ugly. Julia withdrew from everyone, pushed us all away, jumped around men that weren't Steven, Dad or myself. You reminded me a lot of her during that time when I first met you, actually," he shuddered again. He hated that two of the women he loved the most had been through such horrific experiences.
"Anyway, the trial drug on for over a year until he finally confessed to it all, he's still in jail. By that point her and Steven had started a relationship, so of course the people that were against her and thought she was lying used that for fuel for their fires. After he confessed the whole thing a lot of people came forward and apologized to her and our parents, but by that point the damage had been done.
"Julia couldn't wait to get out of there, so as soon as they graduated they got married and as soon as they could they moved as far away as they could, Steven has family in Maine so that's why they chose to go there. Plus, I was living here at the time, so I got to see them more frequently than I had before."
He watched Aria wipe tears from her eyes and take several soothing breaths before she responded, "That's horrible. I hate that that happened to her, she's such a confident person, she always seems so in control. I never would have guessed she'd been through all that." Brian nodded in agreement.
"It's been almost ten years now, it took time for her to get where she is now, Steven really helped bring her through it."
"I really liked getting to meet them in person, I'm actually a little upset that we won't get to see them when we're so close." He reached his hand out to hold hers.
"Me too, but we've got to head back today, unfortunately. Hopefully we'll be able to take some time soon and go visit them, maybe after she has the baby."
"That would be nice, I miss Ami. That little girl grew on me fast," he laughed.
"I think she feels the same about you. We'd better get around, we have a plane to catch."
20
"Shoot! I left my purse and leftovers in the back," Aria said, batting her beautiful eyelashes at him, he pecked her on the cheek and went back to the garage to get them. It was Friday, their regular date night, and he was pleased to see that Aria was finally comfortable enough to not force herself to eat her entire meal in one sitting.
They had been back home for almost four weeks now, and Aria seemed to be doing much better than he would have ever suspected. She'd talked to him regularly about the healing and strides she'd made that day, and he couldn't be more pleased with the progress she was making.
"Hey, where'd you go?" He called out upon returning to an empty kitchen, he'd only been gone a moment.
"Getting ready for bed," came her reply from their room. He smiled to himself, their room. A little over eight months ago when he first brought her home he never would have believed he'd be saying that. He put her leftovers in the refrigerator and shut off the lights before going down the hall to their room.
When he got to the door he stopped, frozen in place, sure his jaw was on the ground somewhere. There was jazz music playing softly on the stereo and candles lit all over the room, but what had him immobilized was his beautiful wife standing in the doorway to the master bathroom, clad in only a short, sheer robe and barely there undergarments, none of which he'd seen before.
They still hadn't made love yet, he was always very careful to stop himself before it got to that point. This was by far the most of her he'd ever seen, and he couldn't stop staring, she was breathtakingly beautiful, inside and out.
Finally, he tried to speak; "What-I mean…uh…Aria, you…wow," so maybe talking wasn't his strong suit right now. She giggled and pushed herself away from the doorframe, stopping directly in front of him, she started unbuttoning his shirt.
"H
ere's the thing, Brian, for the last several weeks I've been trying to let you know I'm ready to give all of myself to you, but you keep stopping me. It's either because I've been too subtle or because you don't want me," she pushed his shirt off his shoulders and took a step back, he was still incapable of movement.
"I'm done being subtle," she opened her robe and dropped it to the floor. He swallowed hard and finally pushed some words past his throat.
"Are you sure? Honey is this what you really want?"
"I'm sure, I've been ready. Unless you don't want—"
"Don't be silly, I love you. Of course I want to, but I don't want to hurt you, are you sure it isn't too soon? What if—" She stepped back up to him again and placed a finger over his lips, stopping his babbling.
"If it's too much or I'm really not ready, then I'll tell you. I know you won't hold it against me even if I change my mind five minutes in. So please, can we try? I really want to…and I never wanted to before I married you. I'm tired of letting my past control me, I told you that."
He pulled her to his chest and kissed her passionately. She returned it for several moments before grabbing his hand and leading him to the bed. He prayed this would only serve to heal her farther and unite them more fully in their marriage and not pull them apart or damage her emotionally.
He almost laughed at himself, nearly thirty, married for the better part of a year, and yet here he was sweating and as nervous as he was before his first kiss. He knew it was stupid, but some part of him was afraid that he wouldn't measure up to her expectations, or that he wouldn't know what to do to make her happy.
He swallowed hard and followed her onto the bed.
*~*~*
They were snuggled up in bed, Aria let out a contented sigh, Brian must not have heard the happiness in it because he stiffened and began babbling again.
"Are you okay? Did I hurt you? Oh no, I did, didn't I? Aria, I am so sorry, we don't ever have to—" before he realized what she was doing she was straddling his stomach and stopping his worries with her lips.
She pulled away and looked down at her husband and her heart swelled with love. She loved everything about him, even his overly cautious worry was adorable to her.
"I am fine. Better than fine, it's a little embarrassing, but I'm going to tell you anyway because I can see you're still worried. I knew men liked sex, obviously, they wouldn't pay for it otherwise. But, what I didn't realize until tonight, with you is that women could enjoy it too. That was…I don't have words, but it certainly wasn't like anything I've experienced before." She bit her lip and could feel the blush creeping up her neck.
"Seriously? It was good for you too?" He looked absolutely giddy, it made her giggle.
"Seriously. It was amazing because you were patient, gentle, worried about me, loving, considerate…well, because you were you and because you love me. It was different because we made love. It wasn't just you having sex with me, it was us. Making love, together."
He smiled so wide she was worried his face would split, and pulled her mouth back to his, and for the second time in both of their lives, they made love.
Epilogue
"Happy anniversary! I can't believe it's been a year today," Brian said, coming up behind Aria and wrapping his arms around her waist and nuzzling her neck as she pulled his favorite breakfast out of the oven.
"I know, it's been quite a year. Let's eat so I can give you your present, I can hardly wait!" He wouldn't have been surprised if she'd started jumping up and down and clapping, whatever his present was she'd been giddy about it since she'd gotten it about two weeks ago.
"That was delicious, sweetheart, now I know you can barely contain yourself over my gift, but I want you to open mine to you first, okay?" She nodded enthusiastically, and stretched her arms out to receive it, he loved this change in her the most. She was now a grateful gift receiver, which was quite a change from a year ago.
"I know this isn't the traditional gift of paper for the first anniversary, but I think it will mean a lot to you either way," he said, handing over the nearly flat gift box.
She eyed him quizzically before opening it, and gasped as soon as she saw the first newspaper from Las Vegas, it featured Jack McPherson in handcuffs with a list of his crimes, everything from money laundering to drugs, and of course, illegal prostitution.
"Seriously? How?"
"I called in a few favors, it took a few months of surveillance, but they finally got him, and you didn't have to step foot in a courtroom." She bolted out of her chair, and before he could register what was happening she was in his lap, peppering him with kisses.
"Wait a minute, there are three other gifts in that box," she sighed and went back to her seat, taking out another full paper and a smaller clipping, after reading them she looked up at him with tears in her eyes.
"A minor? Did we…"
"No, honey, I talked to Paul, she told him and several other men that she was eighteen, that doesn't make it okay, but I really believe he didn't know. He's still going to do some jail time." Warren had been arrested for solicitation of sex from a minor, and, as it wasn't the first time he was caught paying for sex he was actually spending time in jail.
"I take it this was Paul's punishment?" She asked, holding up the full paper.
"Yeah, he had to hand over the majority of his companies to Gus and Kara, the rest were divided between Paul and Jenny. He was mortified and the local media had a field day with it." She was crying again, but he could tell they were happy tears.
"I'm glad they were both able to be punished without us having to be drug through the courts…is that selfish?"
"No, sweetheart, not at all, you suffered enough at the hands of these men. I'm glad they aren't getting away with it. You have one more gift in there," she wiped her tears away and gave him a sweet smile before pulling the locket from the bottom of the box. He'd had it inscribed with their names on the front, and "no deal breakers" on the back, it was something he said to her regularly now.
"Thank you, these are the best gifts I've ever received, thank you. I love you."
"I love you too." She jumped up and plopped a plain white box in his lap that was usually meant for clothing.
Pulling out the first item, a t-shirt he shook it out and stared in shock, he couldn't believe what she was saying. The shirt said "World's Best Daddy" as if in a daze he sat the shirt on the table and picked up what looked like a necklace box and opened it. Nestled inside was a positive pregnancy test, and behind that was a print out confirmation from the doctor's office, he felt the tears roll down his cheeks.
"You…you're…I mean we're…" she laughed at him and wiped at her own tears.
"Yep, I'm about six weeks along, we're going to be parents." Brian stood so fast he knocked his chair over, and swept his wife, the mother of his child, into his arms and swung her around gently, kissing her passionately.
"You like your present," she stated more than asked as she laughed.
"Best present ever, we're going to be parents!" He could not believe how his life had changed in just one year, but he wouldn't have it any other way. God was so good to them.
*~*~*
"Where are you taking me?" Aria asked for the tenth time since Brian had covered her eyes in the blindfold and led her to the car.
"It's a surprise, but we're here." He jumped out and a moment later she heard her door open, and he helped her down, she felt gravel crunching under her feet, that could be just about anywhere in their small town.
He led her into a warm building, with what felt like thin carpet, were they in the church? It smelled like it, the distinct mix of flowers and candle wax, with a bit of spice that always seemed to linger there, but what would they be doing there on a weeknight…with a blindfold?
Finally, they came to a stop and she felt Brian's hands on the blindfold, lifting it off. Once it was removed she saw that they were in fact in the church fellowship hall, with what seemed to be the entire town plus Brian's family
and even Paul and his wife, Katie were there.
"Surprise!" They all yelled at the same time.
"What's going on?" She asked Brian.
"This is the wedding reception you should have gotten a year ago," he whispered into her ear.
As she had so many times before in the last year she felt the tears start to roll down her cheeks. This was home, this was family. This was what she'd given up on dreaming about, and she was so glad that even though she gave up on Him, God never gave up on her.
He had great plans for her, even her darkest moments He was always with her.
"I love you," she whispered to Brian as they made their way toward their waiting family.
Family.
After all this time she finally had one to call her own, and all because of an impulsive decision she once called a mistake.
"I love you too," Brian squeezed her side and directed her towards his parents, "think we should tell them or wait?"
"Why wait?" she asked, and they shared the news of the new chapter they were beginning, one she once thought would never come.
The Beginning