by BETH KERY
“Really?” Esa asked slowly, unable to disguise her obvious interest in the news.
Rachel nodded, ponytail bobbing.
“He also said that he wished you’d stop running out on him. He sounded downright pissed about it.”
Esa colored hotly and picked up the pace.
“What did he mean by that? Why do you keep running out on him?” Rachel queried as she jogged to keep up with Esa like she was a reporter hot on the trail of the story of a lifetime.
“What would you have done if you were in bed with a guy who you knew for one night and his ex-fiancée walked in on you?”
“So you did go to bed with Finn?” Rachel asked, triumph gleaming in her liquid brown eyes. She flinched back when Esa swung around wildly.
“Is that all you care about? Is sex all anybody cares about?”
“Well, it’s a good place to start, isn’t it?” Rachel asked simply.
Esa’s breath popped out of her lungs. For once she couldn’t argue with her little sister’s logic. Sex and desire was as good a place as any to start something.
At least it was if the desire was based on honesty—
“I know you must like Finn, Esa.” Rachel interrupted her thoughts. “Otherwise you wouldn’t have blown a gasket when I said I’d gone to the party last night to find out if Finn would tell me more details about Julia’s extracurricular activities.”
“For your magazine,” Esa added with a frown.
“Yes, for Metro Sexy,” Rachel agreed with a stubborn tilt to her chin. “I am a journalist you know, and despite your high and mighty attitude, Julia Weatherell bedding down with other guys when she’s leading around Gavin Graves Jr. like she’s got a hook through his nose is big news. He’s one of the most eligible bachelors in the city, you know. Carla filled me in on all the details about her and Finn this morning when we met for breakfast at The Mighty Nice Café.”
Esa scowled, although she wasn’t really angry at Carla for breeching her confidence. It must have been obvious to Carla that Rachel was already in on the secret about Julia due to Finn’s mistaken phone call.
“Julia didn’t sleep with Finn. At least not recently. And under no circumstances whatsoever are you to bring up that incident in Finn’s condo in your gossip column,” Esa repeated what she’d whispered so heatedly last night.
“I told you I wouldn’t. Let’s turn back. The further we go the longer I’ll have to put up with you lecturing me.”
They walked silently for a half minute while Esa’s emotions frothed and boiled. She didn’t know why she was so furious at Rachel. Her sister’s behavior in this case wasn’t that different than it had been dozens of times in the past. She knew Rachel loved her with a fierce loyalty. Even if she did occasionally make Esa’s life a living hell, Esa loved her just as much in return.
“I hope you don’t sabotage the whole thing.”
Esa glanced over at Rachel in surprise. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Simple. Ever since you first started dating boys you were convinced that the really cute, nice ones didn’t like you. Even when they clearly were leching after you, you were always sure that at any moment they were going to fall for a slut or a skinny cheerleader.”
“That’s because they usually did.”
“Maybe a few of them did,” Rachel conceded. “There’s always going to be some rotten apples in the bunch. Doesn’t mean you should stop eating fruit altogether.”
“Profound analogy, Kitten,” she muttered drolly.
Esa suddenly felt exhausted when they turned up her parents’ driveway. Her fingers found her car keys in her jacket pocket. A heavy weight seemed to press down on her as she stared at her sedate sedan. A dependable car, luxurious yet conservative. A doctor’s car. The vehicle of a practical, reasonable woman.
“Are you sure you don’t want to trade again for awhile?” Rachel asked from beside her.
Esa swallowed the ache of longing in her throat. She hated to admit that she’d loved driving that fast little car. It seemed so juvenile of her, so out of character. And when she thought of the gift that Finn had given her, of flying swift and unhindered into the city last night with him by her side, she was so tempted to take her sister up on her offer.
Just like she was wild with a hunger to find out if this thing she had with Finn could be more than just a sexy fling.
“Absolutely not,” Esa said with a brisk fortitude she was far from feeling. She paused in the process of walking toward her car and glanced over her shoulder. “But thanks for asking, anyway.”
Rachel gave her a warm smile. “If you like Finn, don’t give up. The thing about a chance is that you’ve got to take it, Esa. Otherwise it’ll just become a regret.”
“There are no guarantees that it won’t end up being a regret if I do take a chance,” Esa said doubtfully, secretly thinking that maybe she’d already blown that chance.
“It’s not a sure thing, that’s true,” Rachel replied. “But just like Metro Sexy always reminds its readers, regret is guaranteed if you don’t try.”
As Esa drove down Lake Shore Drive ten minutes later—the experience notably less thrilling in her bulky, dependable car—she thought about what Rachel had said in regard to taking chances and regrets. She had to admit that Rachel’s advice sounded pretty darn sound, even if it did come from the mouth of a gossip columnist.
Chapter Sixteen
Finn frowned when he came home later and saw his neatly made bed. What had he expected, that Esa would still be there, warm and soft and naked? After the way he’d walked out on her earlier following her disturbing revelation?
Not bloody likely, he thought grimly as he tossed his keys onto the dresser.
He’d been restless and unsettled for the better part of the morning. What kind of a game was she playing, lying so blatantly about herself? he wondered for the thousandth time that day.
He scowled and started peeling off his clothes. What he needed was a good long run beside the lake followed by a workout at his gym. The exercise would help him clear his thoughts and give him the space he needed so he could stand back and examine the situation with Esa more clearly.
Maybe he should ask out another woman tonight. Or perhaps he’d take Caleb up on his offer and meet him at a sports bar this evening to watch the Ohio State-Michigan game. His fixation on Esa wasn’t healthy, Finn decided as he took the underground pedestrian tunnel beneath Lake Shore Drive a short while later. He’d just come out of a bad breakup. He hardly knew her.
Plus, she was a god-damned liar.
Given all those strikes against her it was a no-brainer. He should forget about Esa Ormond.
Wasn’t it a common enough occurrence for a guy to become seriously infatuated after being burned in a relationship? Finn thought as he ran next to a brilliant cerulean blue Lake Michigan. He’d seen it happen to friends in the past. The excitement, the challenge and the hot and heavy sex helped to shore up a wounded self-esteem.
A slender, attractive blonde woman jogging in the opposite direction from him gave him an appreciative once-over. He returned her blatantly obvious grin of invitation. He’d gone another half mile before he realized that he’d just passed up the perfect opportunity to ask out another woman, and all because he’d been too preoccupied in enumerating the reasons he shouldn’t think about Esa anymore.
Damn.
After he’d returned from his health club and showered he’d eyed his cell phone on the bedside table. He’d probably be able to reach her now that he understood that she wasn’t Kitten Ormond but Dr. Esa Ormond.
A complete stranger.
He rolled his eyes and cursed under his breath as he reached for his phone. It pissed him off to know that all of his head-clearing and rationalizations hadn’t helped one iota. He still wanted her. He cursed his overactive libido but he couldn’t stop thinking about how fantastic it had been making love to her last night, how sweet to hold her afterward while she slept—that small, satisfied smile still shadowing he
r lips.
I should let you have the driver’s seat more often. At least when we’re not in a car.
He rapidly reached for his phone. Since when had he become so fricking desperate? He thought with a scowl. His hasty fingers paused on the keypad when he heard someone knock at his front door.
He hit the disconnect button on his phone.
Julia stood in the hallway looking pale and tense. She wore a pair of tight black pants that hugged her trim thighs and an ivory cashmere sweater. Her dark, sleek hair hung long and loose, making a striking contrast against the ivory wool. Her fitted pants were tucked into a pair of supple leather boots.
It struck Finn that while he still appreciated Julia’s elegance and beauty—there were few men who wouldn’t—he was no longer compelled by it like he used to be. He certainly no longer experienced the intense lust that used to flood him at the sight of her. He realized for the first time that the emotion he associated most with her was a sense of nostalgia for what could have been more than for what was, grief for the loss of a fantasy as insubstantial as smoke.
“What is it?” he asked, referring to her anxious face and rigid posture.
He saw her throat convulse as she swallowed. “We need to talk. It’s important.”
Finn just nodded once and closed the door after her. She didn’t speak until she’d entered the living room and turned to him. He didn’t think he’d ever seen her so tense during the length of their relationship.
“One of my friends overheard Kitten Ormond talking at The Mighty Nice Café this morning. She knows about us, Finn. If she goes public with it in that rag Metro Sexy Gavin Graves will drop me.”
Finn’s brow crinkled in confusion at the near panic that laced her tone. “I don’t understand. You have a friend who overheard what? There’s nothing to tell about us.”
Julia’s face paled even further.
“Do you think I don’t know that?” she hissed. “Do you have to throw it in my face that you rejected me? Kitten Ormond is the city’s biggest gossip. She’d do anything to ruin me. Do you think she cares about the truth? She knows about me coming here! She knows that I wanted to…” Julia hesitated briefly before her chin went up defiantly. “I suppose you told Esa about the time before, how I suggested that we continue to sleep together?”
“Hold on a second,” Finn said sharply. He was bewildered by the turn of events but he understood this particular accusation loud and clear. Finn was very private about his life. He didn’t kiss and tell about anyone he became involved with, let alone the woman he’d planned to marry. “I told Esa no such thing. I wouldn’t run off at the mouth about something like that.”
Julia only looked partially mollified. “Well, Esa has undoubtedly drawn her own conclusions given what she saw. The Ormond sisters have been jealous of me for years. They’d love to see my name smeared all over the gossip columns. When Gavin hears about it he’s going to be furious. My reputation is going to be ruined. You’ve got to promise me that you’ll try to stop it. I’m not the only one whose name is going to be dragged through the mud, you know.”
Finn stared incredulously. Surely Esa wouldn’t put the private details of his life out there for public consumption.
Would she?
How the hell do I know what Esa would do? He thought with a cold blast of reality. Until this morning he hadn’t even known what she did for a living. He was just a casual fling, after all.
It might be Julia’s story but it was his as well. Esa had no right to it, nor did her gossipmongering little sister.
“Finn?” Julia shrilly interrupted his thoughts. “Did you know she was planning on doing this?”
“Of course not,” he replied.
“I should have known something like this would happen ever since I walked in here and saw you with Esa.” She shook her head and growled through clenched teeth in sheer frustration. “God, I hate the Ormond sisters. Since when did you acquire such abysmal taste in women?”
The fury that swept through him at Julia’s attack on Esa gave Finn the biggest shock of a day already filled with surprises. He’d never seen Julia behave this way, not even when she was outraged with him for taking over his father’s business. It was like she’d just removed a mask and shown him what she really looked like.
And the sight wasn’t a pretty one.
“Look, I don’t know anything about this and I’d appreciate it if you stopped jumping all over me. From what I know about Esa she’d never consider doing what you’re alleging.”
“You’re a fool if you believe that. She would expose me in a heartbeat. You don’t know anything about it. She would love to ruin my chances with Gavin. She and that viper sister of hers would laugh until they cried, and then one of them would likely try to scoop up Gavin on the rebound.”
“You told me that you were miserable with him, that he couldn’t begin to please you in bed. Why are you so worried about it?” Finn asked, referring to the night she’d accosted him in his lobby.
“Well, that may very well be but that doesn’t mean I want the world to know it. I have a reputation to uphold.”
“Maybe you should have thought of that before you cornered me in my lobby and begged me to fuck you.”
“How dare you! I’ll have you know that—”
“Stop,” Finn said, interrupting her tirade. He couldn’t really grasp everything that Julia had been saying but he knew one thing. This conversation was over. As far as he was concerned Julia’s behavior this afternoon had created a big, fat period on the end of the chapter that had been their relationship.
When he told her so she stared at him in disbelieving rage for a few seconds.
“You never did have what it takes,” she accused, her gimlet green eyes flashing with disdain. “I should have known from the beginning you would fold just when you got to the finish line of making a big name for yourself.”
Finn shook his head slowly. How could he have possibly been so mistaken about a woman? He said the first thing that came to his head. “God I’m lucky. What if I hadn’t seen this side of you until after I’d married you?”
She started as if he’d slapped her but Finn was beyond caring about her feelings, beyond caring about her one way or another. She’d been right about one thing. He did have abysmal taste in woman.
“It’s time for you to leave.”
She threw him a vitriolic look before she turned and left, slamming the door behind her as she went.
“Good riddance,” Finn muttered under his breath. He sat down heavily on his couch, both his brain and blood running a mile a minute.
He got up abruptly after a while and stared at the darkening lake. The sun died a brilliant, fiery death in the west, casting bright orange reflections on the glass surfaces of the eastern high-rises. By the time it had completely set Finn’s anger at Julia had largely calmed.
It wasn’t her fault that he had crap taste in women, after all.
He picked up his cell phone and dialed directory assistance.
Chapter Seventeen
Esa kept herself busy for the rest of the afternoon cleaning her loft and catching up on work, trying not to fret about whether or not Finn would call, whether she should call him or if she should just forget about him altogether.
As if that was even a remote possibility.
At least after her talk with Rachel she felt better prepared to confront Finn again. Well, sort of—if this wild anticipation and trembling anxiety could be called better prepared.
When her phone did finally ring at around six-thirty she was so tense that she spasmodically jerked the medical file she’d been holding. Papers clattered and skittered onto the wood floor.
“Hello?” she asked, unable to fully disguise the tremor in her voice.
“Esa? It’s Finn.”
“Oh, hi. You got the right number this time,” she attempted cheerfully, trying to ignore how the sound of his voice made her heart pound loudly in her ears. “How are you?”
&nbs
p; Her brow furrowed in the brief silence that followed.
“Finn?” she prompted anxiously.
“Hmmm? Oh, yeah. Fine.”
“Are you…are you still angry about the…”
“I’m not mad anymore, Esa.”
She swallowed anxiously when she heard the flat, distant quality of his voice. “You never really gave me a chance to explain why I did it.”
“I’m sure you had a stellar reason. That wasn’t really why I was calling. I just spoke with Julia.”
“Oh?” Esa asked with growing unease. “Did she stop by your condo again?”
“Yeah, she was really upset. It seems that someone she knows overheard your sister talking about running a story in Metro Sexy about Julia trying to start up things again with me while still involved with this guy she’s dating…Graves.”
Esa’s mouth gaped open. She hadn’t expected this.
“Finn…that’s not true.”
“That’s what I told her. But I have to admit, Esa, after this morning I’m not really sure what to think about you.”
“It’s true that Rachel came to your mother’s last night because of the information you accidentally left her on her phone about Julia. But I absolutely forbade her to do any story about Julia or you. I know how much you would hate that,” Esa rushed to explain.
“Yeah. Well, it looks like I don’t have any other choice but to take your word on that.”
Esa grabbed reflexively at the back of the couch as if to brace herself against the jolt of pain that suddenly went through her.
This was it.
She could just tell by the tone of his voice. The brilliant, all-too-brief affair with Finn Madigan was over…history.
“You can take my word on it. Please, Finn. I know how what I said this morning must have really taken you by surprise but you can trust me,” Esa said softly.
For a few silent seconds, as she waiting nervously for his response, she thought she might have gotten through to him. But she knew she hadn’t even before he spoke because she heard the sound of frustrated defeat in his sigh.