Stephen knew it was a low shot, but he couldn’t help adding, “It was supposed to be a surprise.” The chill in his tone rivaled the winter weather. “Surprise.”
Tears welled in Kate’s eyes, and she lifted a hand to cover her mouth. “Oh God.”
Instinct urged him to go to her, ease her distress, console her, and tell her everything would be all right. He’d always done so, no matter how many times he’d gotten hurt in the process.
Before they’d mated, he’d endured her scorn and sharp tongue while chasing after her and showing her how much she’d meant to him. He loved the ridiculous woman with all his heart, but her lack of faith in him cut to his weary bones. Maybe it was the long nights he’d put in with the house, or maybe it was her half-hearted trust in him…either way, he was too damn tired to fight for the both of them anymore.
For once in his life, he refused to chase after her. She needed to learn to fight her own battles. She needed to learn to fight for them. Or else, he’d spend the rest of his life fighting a never-ending war he had no chance of winning. Without her complete trust in him, or absolute trust in herself, the rare bond they shared was as worthless as the home he’d built for their future.
As much as it pained him to do so, he turned his back on her and met his friends’ concerned stares. “I’ll catch up with you guys later. I gotta get out of here for a while. Look after the women.”
Wes nodded without hesitation. “Will do.”
Stephen pivoted away from the group, stuffed his hands in his coat, and started down Main Street, heading for Los Lobos. When he was far enough outside the human town, he’d give into his compulsion to shift.
Inside, his Wolf paced restlessly, in tune with his need for a long, hard run. The animal might not understand his reaction, but the beast felt every bit of his anger and pain—his utter defeat.
“Stephen.” Kate’s anxious voice trailed after him.
Ignoring her, he quickened his stride, desperate to give in to his Wolf’s call.
“Wait, Stephen.” She ran after him, her tone pleading. “I’m sorry.”
He spun around before she reached him. “Leave me the fuck alone right now, Kate.”
“Please.” She stretched her hand toward him, and he stepped away, not granting her a chance to touch him and break his will. “I didn’t mean—”
“Give me some fucking space.” Her devastated expression pierced his heart, but, dammit, he’d given her years of patience, understanding, and love. He’d handed over his body and soul. Hell, she completely owned his heart. “Look, I don’t have anything left to give you, Kate. I’ve already given you everything.”
“I know,” she whispered.
“You’re going to have to work shit out on your own for a change and decide what you’re willing to give to make this relationship work. When you figure it out, then we’ll talk.”
With one last glance, he soaked up the sight of her distraught face, tears streaming down her flushed cheeks, and the wind tugging at her beautiful dark hair, before he whirled away, leaving the love of his life to stand alone on the cold sidewalk. The image would have to last him until his mate came to her senses.
***
“Fucking great,” Wes muttered beneath his breath as Stephen disappeared from view and Kate rushed across the street to her car.
This was precisely why he hated relationships. The fuckers never worked. Destined mate or not. Someone always got hurt. Thank hell his life was mate-free and uncomplicated.
“Shouldn’t we go after them?” Michelle asked, shattering the awkward silence.
“No,” Wes grunted. “They both need to be alone right now.”
Frowning, she watched as Kate drove away. “Are you sure? I don’t know about this.”
Jace wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her into his side. “Wes is right, sweetheart. They need to work this out on their own. Come on. Let’s get you back to work and out of the cold.”
“Kate and I were on our way to grab lunch, but….”
“Well, I’ll sit with you for a few minutes before I head back to work. I might even buy you a Danish.” Jace pecked her on the lips then glanced at Wes. “You don’t mind, do you?”
Wes quashed the urge to vomit at their sappy display and shook his head.
“Oh, Emily. I’m so sorry.” Michelle stepped away from her mate and embraced the other woman. “Kate really didn’t mean the things she said. She was upset and misunderstood the situation.”
Wes nearly snorted. That was putting it mildly.
“I know. It’s no big deal. Really.” The mousy redhead proffered a timid smile and waved at Michelle and Jace. “I’ll see you guys later.”
“Wait. I’ll walk you back.” The growled words fell out of Wes’s mouth before he thought better of the shit. What the hell was the matter with him?
For a moment, Jace and Michelle gaped at him as if he’d sprouted horns before their astonishment melded into cheesy-ass grins.
His friend quirked a brow. “See you back here in fifteen, stud?”
Wes didn’t take the bait. “Whatever, dickhead.”
Chuckling, Jace threw his arm around his giggling mate’s neck and guided her inside the diner.
Rolling his eyes, Wes shifted to face Emily and came up short when he realized he stood alone. He glanced around to find the tiny female had already crossed the damn street.
“Hey,” he barked after her as he jogged to catch up.
She darted a nervous glance over her shoulder. “Thanks anyway, but I’m good. My store’s up the road.”
He easily caught up to her short stride and grabbed her upper arm. “I said I would walk you back.”
Emily tugged out of his hold and scowled at his chest, rather than meet his gaze. “I don’t need you to.”
“Tough. I said I’d do it, so I’m doing it.” Dammit.
Wes didn’t miss the slight quiver of her lip. Shit, was she about to cry? Some odd, foreign sensation thudded against the wall of ice encasing his heart. Sympathy? Pity, maybe? Hell if he fucking knew. He didn’t like it, whatever the hell it was.
She lifted her head, directly meeting his gaze for the first time. “Your friends aren’t around so you don’t have to pretend anymore. I know you don’t like me and it’s been a somewhat frustrating day so far. Please, can you…go away?”
And there it went again. The fucking thud in his chest.
Wes searched the prettiest pair of emerald eyes he’d ever seen. From the barely discernable tremble in her slight frame to the accelerated pulse in her throat, the female was scared shitless. But of what? Him?
Good God, he should make his escape now. All he had to do was turn around and get the hell out of there while he still had a chance. Be the asshole she thought he was. So fucking simple to do, yet he couldn’t make his damn legs work. Instead, the stupid, useless organ in his chest continued to thud an erratic drum.
“I don’t hate you.” Wes cleared his throat and gentled his tone. “Allow me to walk you the rest of the way…please?”
Holy shit, what the hell came out of his mouth?
Emily’s sweet green eyes widened and her jaw sagged. Yep, apparently she was surprised, too. After another quick glance in the direction of her shop, she bit her lip. “Um…sure. If you want.”
Better to say nothing than be a dick, Wes thought. So he nodded and stuffed his hands in his pockets. As she turned and continued down the sidewalk, he adjusted his step and strolled alongside her. Neither of them spoke a word during the short walk, which suited him fine. The less they said, the better in his opinion.
Once they paused in front of her store, she manufactured a smile. “Thank you.”
He lifted his chin and waited as she fumbled with the keys a good minute before she dropped them on the pavement. With an exasperated sigh, he bent forward and reached for the keys the same time as Emily. When their bare skin brushed, an electric current—one he ha
d no trouble recognizing—jolted through his arm and rushed throughout his system, raising every hair on his body.
Goddammit!
Wes jerked his hand away as if burned. This could not be fucking happening to him. Not now. Not ever. And most fucking definitely not with her. He bolted upright and shoved his fisted hand into his pocket. Shit, damn, and fuck.
Emily straightened and managed to fit the key in the lock and open the door. Once inside, she turned sideways in the entrance to glance at him. “Thanks again, Wes.” Her lips curved with a genuine smile. “Maybe I’ll see you around sometime.”
Then his mate promptly shut the door in his face, leaving him to stare at a frou-frou-assed Christmas wreath.
Chapter Five
Kate rolled over on the sofa and jammed the pillow over her ears in a bid to ignore the incessant knocking at her front door. The obnoxious pounding had gone on for the last ten minutes and, honestly, there were no signs her brother planned to give up anytime soon. She loved him dearly but, dammit, she wanted nothing more than to strangle him at times.
“For the love of God, go away, Jace,” she yelled at the door.
“No, now get your pathetic ass the hell up and open the damn door.” His peeved voice penetrated the thick wood.
“Why don’t you kiss my pathetic ass and get lost!”
At blissful last, the banging subsided and a pair of footsteps stomped across the porch, away from her door. She tossed the pillow aside and turned on her back, throwing her forearm over her eyes. She wanted to be alone. Was it too much to ask?
Jace meant well, but she couldn’t bring herself to face him yet. Hell, she doubted she’d be able to look anyone in the eye ever again after the ass she’d made of herself three days ago. A shudder swept through her body, chilling her to the bone as she remembered the words she’d said to Stephen.
Horrible, unforgiveable words she could never take back. She didn’t blame him for not contacting her since he’d walked away from her in Collins. Why would he after she’d basically called him a faithless asshole?
Christ, she was such a bitch. To him. To her brother. To her friends.
Shame and regret hung around her shoulders like an anvil, dragging her deeper in a sinking pit of desolation. So many times she’d grabbed the phone, desperate to hear her mate’s voice, but, honestly, what was she supposed to say?
I’m sorry?
No, an apology wasn’t good enough. Not after the pain she’d caused him. A thousand apologies would never be good enough.
The past few days without him had been agony. She’d locked herself away in her house, too humiliated to speak to any of her friends or pack, fluctuating between bouts of crying and wallowing in self-pity. Each long night dragged on in a solemn, sleepless tandem. Worse were the mornings…watching the sunrise outside her bedroom window, bringing the dawn of a new day and, with it, more misery to drown in.
“I won’t kiss it, but I’ll damn sure beat it.”
Jace’s voice boomed near her ear, and Kate squealed in surprise and bolted upright. Heart in her throat, she glared at her brother sitting on the edge of the coffee table across from her.
“Jesus, you scared me.” She pressed a hand to her thumping chest. “How the hell did you get in?”
He held up a single key. “I almost forgot you keep an extra hidden on the back porch.”
“Lucky me,” she muttered. Rolling her eyes, she slumped against the cushions. “I’m not in the mood for company, so kindly show yourself out.”
“Yeah, I can tell.” He wrinkled his nose. “When’s the last time you showered”—he pointed to her baggy T-shirt and sweatpants—“or changed out of those clothes?”
So what if she hadn’t taken a bath in three days? She crossed her arms over her chest and glanced away. “None of your damn business.”
“Shit, I don’t know who’s worse, you or Stephen.” He propped his elbows on his knees, dangling his hands between his splayed legs.
With the mention of her mate’s name, her gaze snapped to Jace’s. Dozens of questions hurtled through her mind all at once, and she bit her tongue to keep them from spewing out of her mouth.
Her brother had no trouble reading her one bit. He smirked. “Yeah, he’s as pitiful as you. Make you feel better?”
Yes. “No.” She glared. “Why should I care?” But God, I do.
With a shake of his head, he blew out a gust of air. “You know, you two are both stubborn as shit.”
She shrugged.
“All right, enough of this bullshit, Kate. You haven’t seen anyone in a week. The house is a mess.” He waved at her in disgust. “You’re a mess.”
Insulted, she growled. “Screw you, asshole.”
Jace tossed his head back and laughed. “Well, that’s a better response than your pity-party crap.”
“Why don’t you go home to your mate and leave me the hell alone?”
The humor fled from her brother’s features in a heartbeat. “At least I have one to go home to.”
The words stabbed at her raw wounds. Despite her best effort not to cry, tears burned in her eyes. Hurt by his taunt, she stared at him as wetness trailed down her hot cheeks. Finally, she managed to croak out, “Low blow, Jace.”
“I know, and I’m sorry.” His expression gentled and he placed a hand on her knee. “We’re all worried about you. You can’t keep going on like this, and you can’t keep pushing everyone away by acting like a bitch either. You have to get your shit together, Kate.”
She wanted to argue, but he was right. When her insecurities and doubts got the better of her, she turned into a shrew. Every damn time. Chasing away or lashing out at the people who cared for her the most. Jesus, what was the matter with her?
Kate buried her face in her hands. “I miss him so much.”
Jace shifted onto the sofa and laid an arm around her shoulders, dragging her against his chest. “I know, sis.”
She sank into her brother’s arms, desperate for comfort. Even though she didn’t deserve it after the way she’d treated him. “I’m so sorry.”
He kissed her forehead and rubbed her back in a soothing motion. “Nothing to be sorry for. We may argue and fight, but this is what families do. Doesn’t mean I’ll stop loving you, though. You’re my baby sister.”
Kate clung to his words, thankful to have her brother’s support. She confessed, “I don’t know what to do anymore, Jace.”
“Well,”—he sat her back so they faced each other—“first, you need to pull yourself together.”
Absolutely. Her behavior the past week had been horrendous. She’d been so selfish and worried entirely about her own needs, she’d disregarded the welfare of her baby. At once, she felt sick to her stomach. Great, not only was she an unfit mate, she was an unfit mother.
“Hey, I said pull yourself together, not fall apart.” Jace grabbed her shoulders and squeezed.
“I’m pregnant.” She wasn’t sure why she blurted the words, but they tumbled out of her mouth anyway.
His eyebrows rose to his hairline as he processed the two simple words. “Does Stephen know?”
“God, no.” She slumped on the sofa. “I found out the morning of our fight.”
Her brother slumped alongside her. “Well, shit.”
She understood the sentiment well. “Yeah.”
They sat in silence for a few moments before he said, “You have to tell him.”
Was he crazy? “How can I tell him now? He’ll think I’m doing it to get back together.”
“But you want to get back together, right?”
Holding her spine rigid, she scowled at her brother. “Of course I want him back, but not because I’m pregnant.”
“Okay, why?”
“Why, what? Why do I want him back?” Seriously, had he lost his damn mind? “Because he’s my mate and I love him.”
“Maybe you should tell him,” he suggested.
“He won�
��t talk to me.” She muttered, “Hell, he probably regrets our mating.”
“You can’t be serious?”
“I don’t know. Maybe I am.”
“Look, Kate.” Jace huffed out a breath and twisted around on the sofa to face her. “Stephen’s loved you for years, and one stupid fight’s not going to change what he feels for you. You’re his mate and having a mate means forever. Through all the good and bad shit. You need to realize how mates work. There is no cheating, no breaking up because you pissed one another off. Mates are absolute. The one constant you can count on.”
“But I hurt him.”
“Then there’s one simple solution—fix it.”
“How?” she asked in exasperation.
“He’s your mate. You tell me.” Her brother shrugged. “What did he say to you the other day?”
Christ, how many times in the past week had she replayed his last words over and over in her head? “He told me I needed to decide what I am willing to give to make our relationship work.”
“So….” he drawled out. “What are you willing to give?”
Without a thought, she answered, “Everything.”
Jace leaned forward and kissed her on the forehead then rose to his feet. “Good. Now all you have to do is prove it to him.”
Chapter Six
Kate spent the next few hours mulling over Jace’s words. She hated to admit her big brother was right, but he was. Locking herself away and wallowing in self-pity wasn’t going to bring her mate back. She needed to get her ass up and go get him.
She’d wasted three days already, wrapped up in her own grief, ignoring the needs of her mate and her baby. Stephen needed her. Their child needed her.
Hell, she needed herself.
Too long she’d clung to all these stupid doubts and fears that had done nothing but rob her of confidence, wreak havoc in her life, and hurt those closest to her. For sanity’s sake, hers and those around her, she had to do something before she wound up alone and miserable. She couldn’t go on this way any longer.
Winter Secrets Page 3