She had pushed him away so abruptly that even she didn’t understand it herself. She’d just felt so dirty. Carl finding her and nearly killing Kade in the process had left her with such tremendous guilt that she couldn’t process it all at once. For years, she had told herself she’d never be like him, that she could never hurt another human being. But in that moment, when she squeezed that trigger, she’d had no hesitation and felt absolutely no remorse.
It wasn’t until she began meeting with the grief counselors at the hospital that she realized the depths of his abuse. It wasn’t just physical. It was psychological. Just having him touch her in anyway made her feel dirty and ashamed. And while it took a while for her to realize it, her lack of regret was normal for a victim.
The sound of her doorbell shook her from her thoughts. She kept hoping and praying that a time would come when he would be willing to see to her. Running to the front door, she hoped that time was now.
She opened the door, startled to see Kade’s mother standing there before her.
“May I come in?”
“Catherine, yes, of course.” Patreece let the woman inside and closed the door behind them.
She motioned toward the couch and sat across from Kade’s mother. Patreece had feared this day would come. Catherine had continued doing business with her since her dirty laundry had been aired for all of Grand Isle to hear. Though, as friends, they had barely spoken. She didn’t really blame Catherine. Kade was her son. And he’d made his betrayal and hurt very clear to her.
“Can I get you anything? Some tea? Maybe some coffee?”
“Patreece, please. I’m not here for polite chatter or refreshment. I mean, is it still Patreece? Should we even still call you that? I’m sorry. I guess I’m not handling this very well,” Catherine said.
“It’s okay. Something like this doesn’t happen every day. I did some thinking and decided to stick with Patreece. Sandra was a part of my old life. A very unhappy one, at that. After everything that happened, I realized I didn’t much care for that name anymore.”
“Okay, Patreece it is, then. I…ahh…” Catherine placed her hands in her lap. “I heard about your ex-husband. He was quite a horrible man, from what I hear.”
She really hadn’t been sure what everyone in town knew about her life. Rumors had surely circulated, that much she was certain about. It wasn’t the cackling hens in town she worried most about. There was only one person’s opinion that mattered, and he was the one who she had refused into her life.
“I don’t know what’s being said exactly. But yes…my ex-husband was abusive and controlling. That was why I divorced him. The only problem was that he didn’t recognize that dissolution of marriage and stalked me. It got so bad, I had to get away. I needed to make a new life. It wasn’t even just for my safety, but my sanity as well.”
“Yes, I know. I mean, I can only imagine. It must have been horrible for you. I um…I met your parents yesterday. They stopped by the café on their way to the airport. They seem very nice. And they certainly love you very much. They told me and Joe how hard you had it, and for how long. I honestly don’t know how you survived as long as you did”
Patreece was surprised to hear that. Her parents had left two days earlier to head back to St. Helena. They’d stayed with her while she recovered. “Oh. I hadn’t realized they’d done that.”
“Oh, geez. That probably sounded rude. I didn’t mean it to. I’m sorry. I guess I’m not very good at this.”
“It’s okay, Catherine. Why don’t you just tell me why you’re here?”
Catherine sighed. “I don’t know quite how to begin. I mean, on one hand, I want to hug you. In many ways, you’re still the sweet woman who moved here and became my friend. But I can’t ignore my son. He’s hurting, Patreece. I’ve never seen him like this before. And he’s hurting because of you.”
Closing her eyes against tears that threatened to fall for the hundredth time in just days, she steeled her nerves against her welling emotions. “I never meant to hurt Kade, Catherine. Please believe me. That was the last thing I wanted.”
“Actually, I do believe you. That’s why I’m here. I think you love him, too. I won’t pretend to understand what you’ve been through. I’m not sure anyone can, but I think you were scared and you acted on emotions that you didn’t understand.”
“That’s partially true. But, like you said, I hurt him. I’ve thought about reaching out to him, but I just wasn’t sure what to say, or if he’d even be willing to listen.”
“Well, there’s only one way to find out.” The sound of a truck pulling up out front interrupted them. Catherine looked at her watch and stood up. “That would be Kade.”
Patreece’s eyes widened. “He’s here?”
“He is. And now that he’s here, the rest is up to you. I’ve done my part.”
“Why? How did you get him to come here?”
Catherine smiled and took Patreece’s hand in hers. “No mother likes lying to her son, but sometimes we have to do what’s best for them.”
Patreece’s front door opened and Kade rushed inside. “Mom? Where is she? Is she all right?”
She and Kade were finally in the same room after weeks of him avoiding her. She stood motionless, staring into those dark-chocolate eyes she had missed so much.
“Mom? What’s going on? You said she was hurt. She looks fine.”
Patreece looked to Catherine.
Catherine shrugged. “Yeah…well, would you have come, if you knew she was fine?”
“What? You lied to get me here?” Kade asked her furiously. “Why? She made it clear she doesn’t want to see me.”
“Oh, shush now!” Catherine chided him. “This is ridiculous. A mother does what she has to do for her children. This woman is crazy about you. And you…you, my dear son, are miserable without her. She pushed you away and you’re upset. I get that. You’re entitled to how you feel. You both are. But look at Chuck. He lost his soul mate. She was only on this earth for a short time. Do you really want to live your life filled with regret?”
“Mom, I—”
“Don’t ‘Mom’ me, Kade William Riley. Life is too short and this woman has already been to hell and back with that monster who nearly killed you both. Are you really going to stand there and let your one chance at happiness go because of your pride?” She held up her hand to silence him. “And before you even think about answering that question, I need you to remember I raised a fine young man who knows the difference between right and wrong. So I’m going to walk out that door and leave you two alone. The rest, my dear boy, is up to you.”
Patreece watched in shock as Catherine left without saying another word. Of all the things she’d expected, she had not thought she’d get the support of Kade’s mother after the way she’d turned him away. Now that she had it, though, she wasn’t about to take it for granted.
She turned toward Kade and took a calming breath. “I’m sorry.”
He started to leave, but she called out to him.
“Kade, please. Just hear me out.”
He stopped by the door, hung his head and stood completely still as he considered her request. Finally, he turned back to face her and crossed his arms. “Why?”
“Why what?”
“Why was being without me better than having me with you? I would have done anything for you. I love…” His voice trailed off. It was obvious his ego wouldn’t allow him to say anything more.
You can do this. Just breathe and tell him how much he means to you, she encouraged herself. “Kade, I never wanted to hurt you. My life with…ugh, I don’t even want to say his name. My life then was miserable. There were things he did to me that I still have nightmares about. For years, I lived in fear. The abuse he subjected me to was nothing I would wish on my worst enemy. That was why I had to get away. And then, even after I divorced him, he wouldn’t stop. I had two choices, run or wait for him to hurt me again. But I knew if he did, he would kill me.”
“I understand all of that,” he cut in.
“Do you? I mean, really? I know you want to, but I’m not sure anyone can. I became so guarded that I didn’t trust anyone. When I went on the run, I left my family and everything I had behind just so I could live to see another day. I never suspected he’d find me. I never thought I’d find you.”
“I wish you wouldn’t make that seem like a bad thing.”
“It wasn’t.” She smiled softly at him. “It was an amazing and wonderful thing, finding you. But I no sooner found you and he was back, and in an instant, it seemed like everything that mattered to me was going to be taken away. When I saw him with you, oh…Kade, you have no idea the fear I felt.”
“Yeah”—he took a step closer and nodded—”I do. Believe me, I do. I felt the same way when I saw what he’d done to you.”
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry for it all. I know now that I shouldn’t have pushed you away. I was just so overwhelmed with everything going on. Having him come back, being beaten, almost losing you, killing him. I got scared. I got scared, and so I did the one thing that I knew how to do. I ran.”
“But from me? Baby, don’t you know that I would have done anything for you?”
“I know. I screwed up, Kade. I shouldn’t have reacted the way that I did. But please try to understand. When I came here, all I wanted was to start over. I didn’t want to be that person who hid in her closet at night. I didn’t want to be the victim. I wanted to stand on my own two feet. Why do you think I tried so hard to push you away in the beginning? I was afraid. You were so charming. That was how he started to pull me in. It scared me. But then I got to know you. I realized how wonderful you were. And then—”
“What? Tell me. Jesus, after everything we’ve been through. Just tell me,” he pleaded with her.
“And then I fell in love with you. And in spite of my words and all the pushing away that I did, the truth of it was I needed you then more than ever.”
“And now?”
“Yeah. I need you now, too. I think I always will need you.”
She came toward him and placed her hands on his cheeks. “I love you, Kade. For years, I couldn’t breathe. He watched my every move, punished me at every turn. Each day, I wondered if that would be the day he would finally kill me. When I was with you, I was beginning to breathe again. I didn’t want to bring that ugly part of my past to our relationship. I wanted to forget. I wanted to leave it all behind me. You made me happy. I smiled. I laughed. But then it came back. It came back with him and I felt like everything I wanted was being torn away from me. I know it may not make sense, but I’m trying to explain it the best I know how. I just love you, Kade. And I don’t want to lose you.
“You really do? You love me?” He took her hands in his and laced their fingers together.
“I do.” She smiled. “I was just too stupid to say it before.”
“God, I love your smile. I’ve missed it so much,” Kade whispered and dropped his forehead against hers. “Is that true? Did I really help you breathe?”
“Kade…Oh, Kade. You did more than that. You allowed me to live again. I wasn’t afraid with you. For the first time in a very long time, I felt as if I could do or say anything. It was as if—”
“As if we were supposed to meet? As if…of all the small towns on the eastern seaboard, you were meant to stroll into mine?”
She smiled, understanding all too well what he meant. The feelings she experienced with Kade were inexplicable and went against every instinct she had. She had sworn to herself she would never fall so easily again. She had promised herself. When she was with Kade, though, she didn’t have a choice. Her heart had already made it for her.
Her head didn’t come into play when she was with him. Her body and her heart knew what they wanted. Her tormented past didn’t rule her every thought. Somehow, some way, Kade made her forget all about those memories.
She turned back to face him and tilted up her head, pressing her lips against his. Emotions swirled around her as butterflies danced circles in her stomach. No matter how much she wanted to avoid thinking it, she knew a four-letter word lingered in her mind. A part of her wanted to tell him how much he mattered, but she wasn’t sure there were words that would be sufficient enough to tell him all that she was feeling.
With words not enough, she could only give him her body. Her heart might come later, if he was even willing to take it. For now, she would give him this, these few moments when, together, they got lost in one another while drowning out the rest of the world. Kade pulled her close, crushing her in his embrace. The hard outline of his cock pressed into her belly, making her pussy throb with anticipation. It had been far too long since he had been inside her, fucking her and making her come. He’d made her body feel things that she never knew were possible and she wanted to experience those things again.
He met her kiss without hesitation, sweeping his tongue inside her mouth. It was not a simple meeting of tongues. It was hot and greedy. His heavy breaths filled her mouth as they fed off each other’s passion. She wondered if ever there was a man who could invoke as much arousal as Kade did in her.
Eager to see his chest and feel his body, she tugged at the hem of his shirt. Sliding her hands underneath the fabric, she was met with the feel of his muscles underneath her skin. His stomach contracted under her touch as she gently played her fingers along every contour. Sliding her hands around to his back, she dug her fingers into his taut flesh. She was mesmerized by his body. He was large and powerful in his appearance. His tender moments contradicted all he seemed to be. That difference only added to his sexiness.
He pressed himself farther into her. His cock pressed against her, taunting her.
“Kade, please…” The words spilled freely from her subconscious. She sounded just as desperate and needy as she felt.
Pulling away from the kiss, he dropped his forehead against hers. His chest rose and fell. His breathing was rapid as he stared into her eyes. The dark-chocolate pools could easily hypnotize her if she looked into them for too long.
“Treece…God, baby. Do you have any idea what you do to me? I swear, I can barely stand it sometimes. I want you so damn bad.”
He swiped his tongue back into her mouth, stealing her chance of any words. Then, just as quickly, he pulled away from her kiss and held her face in his hands. His eyes searched hers as he stared at her intently. She wished she knew what he was thinking. It was taking every amount of willpower for her to keep her emotions at bay. She was overcome with so many and she didn’t want anything to detract from this moment.
“You are amazing. Utterly and beautifully amazing. I could spend hours just feasting on you and your passion.”
“Show me, Kade. Please, I need you.”
Her subconscious betrayed her, admitting something she hadn’t wanted it to. Her body was humming with both physical and emotional sensations. Dropping his hands, he grabbed one of hers and led her to the bedroom.
Everything that had happened in her past should have made her want to run fast in the opposite direction. Maybe this connection she now had with him had been what she was afraid of in the first days of knowing him. Possibly, on some deep and subconscious level, she knew the enormity of her feelings for this man. Carl had screwed her up in ways she may never recover, from but she couldn’t help but want to throw caution to the wind with Kade and forget every rational thought.
She would no longer allow herself to be fearful of what a man could do to her. Kade was not Carl, no man was Carl. He was his own special kind of evil he had to believe could not exist in anyone else. No matter what the outcome may be she wanted and needed to give herself to Kade. Not just her body but every part of her. She might not say it aloud to him. It didn’t make it any less true. In body and in soul she would submit to him and enjoy whatever would come.
Now in the bedroom, Kade pushed her down to the bed. She pulled at the hem of his shirt again, desperate to remove the barrier between them. The desire to
feel his hard body pressed against her breasts was consuming her. Her nipples ached in misery. She made quick work of removing his shirt, only breaking their kiss for a moment to yank it over his head. His movements were just as urgent as he reached his hand under her ass and pulled their bodies that much closer together.
Oh, Kade. Don’t stop. Please don’t ever stop. This was it, what she wanted, what she had always needed. The connection she felt with him was elemental. It went deeper than the physical, much deeper than mere caring for him. Carl had always wanted to own her and he never could. She now knew why. On some level, she’d already known she belonged to another. She just hadn’t met him yet.
Now that she had, she had no intention of ever letting him go.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Kade was trying to keep his emotions in check, but felt as though they were overpowering him. His body was on fire and his cock throbbed painfully. The need to be inside her, sliding in and out of her wet heat, was a strong pull in itself. The woman as a whole, though, she caused more lust than her body ever could.
Her hair was neatly pulled back in a ponytail just as she’d worn it the first time he’d seen her. It was no longer sprinkled with remnants of her baking extravaganzas with Rachael. It didn’t stick up in various directions atop her head after hours of fixing up her sweet treats.
As usual, she wore no make-up. He couldn’t smell any perfume on her or scented lotions. The only scent she exuded from her mocha-colored skin was filled with the aroma of sugar, spice and all things nice.
There wasn’t anything about Treece that was typical, and yet it was that very part of her, that unsuspecting seduction she had no control over, that conjured up feelings in him he hadn’t even known he was capable of having. She was an extraordinary woman, filled with so many contradictions, which made falling for her that much easier.
Removing his jeans, he pulled the last condom he had from his pocket and set it on the bed. A trip to the drugstore was imminent, but it would have to wait for another day. Right then, all he cared about was being with her, his Treece.
Risqué Renovation [Blue Collar 1] (Siren Publishing Classic) Page 16