by Aileen Erin
I needed more. Always more.
When I finally pulled away, I saw love and light in her eyes, but I also saw a little fear. I pulled her close again and whispered in her ear. “If you want to skip the next part, I will understand. I hope you won’t, but I know it’s a monumental job to take on and I won’t force it. You have a choice. Always.”
It was up to her. She could deny it if she wanted, but I hoped she wouldn’t.
I gripped her hands tighter, hoping she’d agree. I could do this job without her, but I didn’t want that. I wanted her to rule beside me as my equal. As my partner.
She gave me a small nod, and I glanced at Tyan.
She was ready.
“Amihanna di Aetes, do you agree to uphold our people, our laws, our ways? Will you fight for us and protect us? Will you work with Lorne as a team to rule the Aunare to bring us into times of light and love and prosperity?”
She’d been watching Tyan as he said the words with wide eyes, but she turned to me and pulled me close. “Are you sure you want me to do this?” she whispered. “I never asked you if—”
“Because I begged you to take the position,” I whispered back. “I absolutely want you to do this job with me, but you can say yes to the earlier questions and no to this one, and I will still be overjoyed and thankful to have you in my life forever. I will never ask for more than you feel able to give.”
She pulled back and looked at me. Her gaze held mine for a long moment, and then she turned back to Tyan.
A week ago, a day ago, an hour ago, I would’ve said she was going to say yes, but in that moment, I wasn’t sure what she’d say.
I held my breath, waiting for her to decide.
She licked her lips, and then she nodded, and I could almost hear her mental okay, yes. “I agree—” she said, and her voice held no doubt “—to uphold our people, our laws, our ways. I will fight for you and protect you. I will you work with Lorne to bring the Aunare into times of light and love and prosperity.”
As soon as the words left her mouth, Tyan pressed his fist to his heart and knelt in front of her. “My life for yours, our High Queen. My pledge for yours. To honor your rule, your sacrifice, your protection. May our Goddess light your fao’ana with the power and strength and wisdom to rule us through all of the years of your life.”
The back holo wall lit up with Rysden’s face and that of the kings and queens. I spun her to watch the wall, pulling her back to my front as they all repeated the pledge that Tyan had just finished. Rysden started it and the rest fell in line, forming one united voice.
When they were done, I leaned down. “Are you okay?”
She took a shaky breath. “Yes. I...” She swallowed, and I could feel through the change in her frequency that she was feeling too many things right now, and I understood.
Of course I did. I’d taken the same vow months ago, and it was overwhelming and powerful and amazing.
I glanced at Roan, hoping to end the live feed so that I could make sure she was okay.
“More are asking to pledge,” he said. “I can put them on the walls if you’d like.”
I nodded. This was good. This would make her realize how much the Aunare believed in her. “Show her.” She needed this. It would destroy the last of the doubt that had been living inside her.
“I’m going to accept all,” Roan said.
“Please.”
A second later the other three walls of the holo room didn’t show the beach anymore. Instead, it was little squares, all faces of our people.
“Wow.” The word was soft and wistful and full of awe. Amihanna leaned back against me, and I glanced down to see her eyes wide as she took in the room. “There are so many.”
We walked up to the wall and took a lap around the room, letting them wave at her and shout their hellos.
And then we went back to the center of the room. Fynea rose from her place at the bowls as the door to the holo-room opened. All of my and Amihanna’s guards walked into the room, stopping behind Fynea.
Fynea’s fist went to her chest and then she knelt, and the guards all followed. “My life for yours—” She began and our guards and all the people who wanted to show their pledge live followed.
Amihanna smiled down at Fynea and our guards, then stepped away from me as they said the words, turning in a circle to see each wall.
By the time I next saw her face, tears were streaming down her face.
I closed the distance, wiping them away with my thumbs, but it was useless because they just kept coming. I pulled her close, letting her bury her face in my chest for a moment, and then she pulled away.
She spotted the nearest camera. “I have to say that the last few months of my life haven’t gone the way that I thought they would, and I’m grateful. I sometimes still feel like the girl hiding in the dumpster, but I’m not. I lived, I grew, I survived, and now I’m beyond honored to be your High Queen. I’m honored to be Lorne’s wife. I will lay down my life to protect yours. I will fight this war so that the Aunare can be free again.” She took a shaky breath, and reached for me.
I gripped her hand in mine, thankful for the leader she’d already become.
“I know the knowledge of what happened on Earth was shocking to so many of you and so painful to learn, but you handled it with grace and strength. It made me proud to be an Aunare. Proud to call Sel’Ani my home. And that’s something I’ve never had before. A home. At least, not that I can remember. Sel’Ani is my home, and I will fight to make sure that no Aunare—full or halfer—will ever go through what I did. I will rule with Lorne by my side and we will make it through this war, to a time of peace. Because no one wants that more than me.”
Amihanna pressed her fist to her heart. “Thank you for trusting me.”
I nodded to Roan, and he cut the feed.
She was amazing. Her words had been perfect, and I was beyond proud of her.
Nothing had ever felt better than this moment, and I would let it light my way in the darkest of times.
Because Amihanna di Aetes was finally my wife.
Chapter Thirty-Six
AMIHANNA
I wasn’t able to process what had just happened. It was like my brain was full of fog, but it wasn’t because of the lucole poison. It was because a major life shift had just happened.
I was married to the man I loved. The one that balanced me, the one I’d never been able to forget, despite everything that had been done to destroy my memories.
But I wasn’t just married. Because I’d married Lorne ni Taure, the High King of the Aunare. Being with him meant that I would never be a forgettable, unrecognized person again. We’d always be in the public eye. There would always be obligations, and no matter what happened to us personally, we’d always have to temper our reactions to what would be best for the Aunare people.
And that would’ve been enough to process, but there was more.
I was a queen. But not just any queen. Because I’d just become the High Queen of the Aunare. I’d never been responsible for anyone else but myself, and now I was responsible for an entire race of people. It was heavy and hard and I wasn’t sure what to think or how to feel, but it was a lot. It was so much that I wasn’t sure I was able to take it all in. Not yet.
Lorne gently tilted up my chin—I hadn’t even been aware that he was still here in the room with me, let alone standing close enough to touch me.
I blinked up at him.
He stepped closer. “Are you okay?”
I let out a breath. “I think so?” I wasn’t sure, but I thought I was okay. Probably.
“You think so?” He looked worried, but it wasn’t something to worry about. This was just a lot.
“I mean… Maybe I should sit down or something.” Because it felt like I’d just been on a long, hard run.
I blew out a breath, trying to slow my pounding heart. “Was that intense or what?”
“Babe,” Roan said from behind me. “It was beyond intense. We’
ve come a long way since ABQ. It kind of blew my mind, and I’m not the one who just got married and became the most powerful queen in the known universe.” He laughed. “What the fuck, Am. What the actual fuck.”
I started laughing because what else was I supposed to do.
Lorne looked confused by my laughter, but that just made me laugh harder. I couldn’t explain it, so I stood on my tiptoes, wrapped my arms around his neck, and pulled him down for a kiss. It was a laughing kiss, but it was a kiss.
“You’re happy?” he asked against my lips.
I pulled away so I could see his face, his eyes. The eyes that gave me safety and strength. “I’m a lot of things. Happy. Overwhelmed. Thankful. Absolutely terrified.” I took a breath. “So many people are counting on us and wow, Lorne. Did you see all those faces? This feels like so much, and I’m just having more trouble processing it than I thought I would. It doesn’t exactly feel real.”
“I know.” His face softened, and some of the worry melted away. “It’s a big deal.”
If anyone got it, it was Lorne. He’d taken these same vows a few weeks ago, but it didn’t seem to change anything for him. But he’d also been preparing for those vows for a long time. He’d always known he was destined to rule. This was still pretty new to me. “This is a lot.”
“Do you regret it?” It sounded like he was wondering about the marriage, too.
“Which part?” I asked, hoping I was wrong about what he was truly asking.
“Any of it.”
“No.” Whatever put that doubt into his heart and mind needed to be killed dead. “No. Not even a little bit. Not the marriage. Not the… job. Is that what I call it? Because I mean I—”
A chime cut me off and I looked at Roan. “Who is it?”
The chime came again.
Roan glanced at his tablet. “It’s Tyler.”
Another chime, and all the guards in the room turned toward the door. They knew that nothing bad could happen right now, but something felt off. I was sensing something coming, and apparently so were they.
Why was Tyler here? “I thought Tyler was with Audrey on the lab ship.”
Another chime.
“He was supposed to be on the lab ship. I don’t know—”
Another chime, and my heart started to race. Tyler wasn’t usually this insistent or impatient. “Hurry up. Let him in.”
Tyler darted into the room as soon as the door was open and looked around.
Tyler was a big bear of a guy. He was maybe a little taller than six feet five and his arm was thicker than my head. He was one of the kindest people I knew, and usually had a sweet, teasing way of talking that gave him a lovable energy. But not today. His blond hair was usually neatly combed back away from his forehead, but right now it was falling across his forehead. He frantically scanned the room, not saying a word before looking at me. I didn’t like the panic in his eyes.
And now my heart was racing for a completely different reason.
“She’s not here,” he said. “She’s not here.” His face went white.
“No.” I didn’t need to ask him who she was. “And I haven’t seen her. Not since I woke up here. As far as I knew, Audrey was with you on the lab ship. What happened? Start at the beginning. When did you last see her?”
Tyler’s eyes were wide and a little shocky, and I wasn’t sure he was really seeing me. “She was in the lab. Or I thought she was. That’s where I left her, but I went to check on her an hour ago—she worked all night—but I couldn’t find her anywhere. The other lab guys in there said she’d gone for food hours ago, but never came back. They figured she went to bed.”
Tyler stepped toward me. “But she didn’t go to bed. I was there, waiting for her, and she never came to bed. So, maybe she was hungry. But she wasn’t in the kitchens. So, I searched everydamnedwhere—every lab, bathroom, living quarters—and then I saw the announcement about the wedding, so I talked a transpo pilot into bringing me here. I thought she’d be here. You’re friends, and you’re girls, and she would want to be here, but she’s not here.” He looked around again. “She’s not here.” His eyes met mine. “I don’t know where she is, and all I can think is someone took her. I feel like someone must’ve taken her and I’m terrified something’s happened to my Audrey.”
It was unlikely that someone took her. The ships were secure. Every person on board had been cleared to be here. But I knew better than anyone that there were bad people everywhere.
“She’s not here,” I said to Tyler. “But now I know she’s missing, and we’ll find her.” I trusted him to look everywhere, and if he said she wasn’t on the lab ship, then she wasn’t on the lab ship. So where was she?
There was no way she’d have left on her own without telling anyone.
Which only left one thing.
Someone had taken her.
“I don’t know what to do.” Tyler’s voice was frantic. “I don’t know what to—”
I’d never seen him panic before. Even when I was about to burn to death Tyler was all stay calm and breathe, baby doll. Everything’s okay. But now he was truly terrified.
That’s what true love did to a person. If something happened to Audrey, Tyler would be destroyed.
So would I.
I turned to Tyan. “There are records of ships coming and going.” There had to be records.
“Yes. I’m having Captain ni Eiloa search them now. Audrey can’t have disappeared. We keep track of everyone on every vessel in our convoy. She’s not lost. We’ll find her, your majesty.”
I froze at that word. Majesty. I wasn’t sure what to say to that, but Roan knew because he was already laughing.
“Just remember what I said. I’m not calling you that.” He gave me a grin. “You already changed your name once, and that’s all the changes you get. I can’t say majesty and not laugh at you. You’re Am to me and that’s that.”
At least some things wouldn’t change. “I’m more than okay with that.”
“If it pleases your majesties, we could head to the ship’s bridge,” Tyan said. “Captain ni Eiloa’s team is going through everything now, and we should have some answers by the time we get there.”
“Let’s go.” I brushed my hand down Lorne’s arm. I’d wanted time alone with him. Time to just process that we were married and to relax for a second, but that wasn’t our life right now.
If we’d waited to get married, then maybe it would’ve been different, but we didn’t. We needed to do it now because we were in the beginning of a war, in the middle of a crisis.
So, instead of having that quiet moment I longed for with my husband, I put my arm around Tyler, and guided him to the bridge. Our guards moved into formation around us, and just like that, the security and safety of being on our own ship was gone.
Audrey was missing.
Traitors in our midst were always a possibility—especially when there were this many people on board—but everyone in our convoy had special clearance. Traitors weren’t supposed to get through that process.
But it was too convenient that Audrey was missing now, after we’d finally gotten a sample of lucole poison. After I’d been exposed to two out of three tones that would cause the poison to kill me and she’d somehow managed to neutralize it. And after she was successfully working on an antidote.
After everything we’d been through, we had another traitor in our midst.
I glanced at Lorne, hoping I saw confidence that everything would be okay in him, but all I saw was worry. He gave me a small shake of his head.
It was confirmation that he was thinking the same thing—this wasn’t good.
In fact, this was very bad, and I wondered if he was thinking what I was thinking.
If they’d taken her because she’d been close to finding an antidote to the poison, then she was likely dead.
God, please don’t let her be dead.
The bridge was quiet as we entered. Everyone at their stations rose, bowing their heads, fist to t
heir hearts as we entered.
I looked at Lorne who gave them a nod, and I thought that would be it, but they stayed like that. Frozen.
Lorne raised a brow at me.
Right. This was for me now, too.
I tried to copy Lorne’s nod, and Fynea started laughing softly.
I made a face at her, hoping she’d stop it.
She only laughed harder. “How very High Queenly of you.”
She was right, but I didn’t care that I had no idea how to be a High Queen. Audrey was missing, and my gut told me this was going to be the start of something seriously awful.
Lorne motioned me forward, and I followed him with Ashino and Eshrin not far behind.
Lorne stopped next to the central desk. For a warship like this, it was easily fifty feet long with ten people working at it. I knew they were working hard to find Audrey, but I still didn’t understand how this could happen.
“What do we know?” Lorne asked.
One of the crew stepped forward. His hair was a little longer than Lorne’s, brushing his collarbones, and done with the traditional braid at the temples that ended behind his softly pointed ears. “Your majesties,” he bowed with his fist at his heart. “I’m First Seat Ishiam ni Shu’sha. I’ve been going through all of the logs, but aside from the ship that brought Tyler Higgins here, only two other ships are currently logged out. Which makes it much easier to find Audrey Paris. If she’s not with our convoy, then the most likely option left four hours ago.”
She wasn’t with our convoy. My gut was screaming that someone took her. “Where is that ship now?” I asked.
“At the house on Telnon.”
The house we’d stayed at for all of an hour, max? “Why?”
“A few lab techs left to make sure that no evidence was left behind. Audrey wasn’t listed on their log but—”
“Evidence?” Ashino said from just behind us.
I twisted to see him looking insulted and confused as he studied ni Shu’sha.