Graham bent down beside Lacy and asked, “What should I do?”
“You just put your hand on them, silly,” she replied, as if suddenly she was the adult and he was the child.
“Like this?” Graham asked.
“Yep. Like that.” Lacey’s entire face lit up as Graham smiled back at her. “Isn’t that right, Daddy?”
Graham glanced over to Dan, who seemed to be enjoying watching them both. Something in his gaze made Graham’s chest tighten. Why did it feel so good to be here with them both? They seemed to pull him into their tiny circle when he hadn’t thought there’d be room for one more. Graham felt good. Better than. He felt as though he mattered. Dan looked back at him and they shared a smile.
An instant later, Lacey was off again, Dan chasing her with a palmful of hand sanitizer from the big jug by the touching pool.
“Look, Mr. Graham! The alligator is all white!” she shouted and pressed her nose against the thick glass of the wetlands exhibit.
“That’s an albino alligator,” Graham said as he read the placard to the right of the exhibit. “They’re very rare. They can’t survive in the wild, but he’s safe here.”
“What’s abeeno?”
“Albino,” Graham repeated slowly.
“What’s that?” Lacey asked.
“They’re born without pigment. What color are my eyes?” he asked.
Lacey looked carefully. “Green.”
“And my hair?”
“Black,” she announced.
“The stuff that makes my eyes green and my hair black, that’s pigment,” Graham explained. “But this alligator wasn’t born with that, so he’s all white.”
Lacey’s lips formed an O.
“Ever considered teaching?” Dan asked as they made their way outside.
“Never. I can handle one kid for a little while. But the idea of ten or more of them?” Graham chuckled. “Not so much.”
“You’re really good with her, you know.”
“Thanks.” Graham’s cheeks warmed. “She’s a great kid.”
“She is,” Dan agreed, “but you’re still really good with her.”
Graham was relieved when Lacey called for them to join her near the parrot feeding area. He’d never been good with compliments. Still, something about the way Dan looked at him when he said it made Graham relax. He knew Dan wouldn’t have mentioned it if he didn’t mean it. He liked that about Dan—no matter what situation he found himself in, he always spoke truthfully. Danny Parker might have been afraid to be himself, but Dan was true to himself in all things.
TWO hours later, after a late lunch from the aquarium’s café consisting of slightly stale nachos, Carolina Bright Leaf hot dogs Lacey said looked like red candy, and less-than-stellar pizza, they piled back into the car and headed back to Raleigh.
Graham glanced at the back seat as they merged onto the highway. “She’s out like a light.”
“Kids are amazing that way,” Dan said. “She totally wears me out. And when she’s out of energy, she’s asleep a second later.”
“There are nights I would kill to be able to do that,” Graham said with a shake of his head. “Just to be able to tune out all the noise and sleep the minute my head hits the pillow.”
“I know the feeling.”
“Thanks for asking me to come today,” Graham said.
“I’m really glad you came,” Dan said with a grin.
“I am too.” Graham stared out the window as they rode, unsure what else to say. Dan didn’t seem to mind the silence, and Graham eased into it like a warm blanket. For once he didn’t feel awkward or uncomfortable. He had no one to impress, nothing he needed to prove.
When they arrived back at Dan’s house, Dan carried the still-sleeping Lacey to her bedroom. Graham watched as he tucked her in and turned on the night-light near the door. For just a moment, Graham imagined that he belonged here, with them. That Dan’s little family was his own.
“Stay for a drink?” Dan asked when they were downstairs again.
Graham wanted to, but the warm fuzzy place he’d been moments before had already faded, replaced by the usual fear that he was inadequate. A fraud. This time a new fear joined the old: he was a liar. He needed to tell Dan the truth about who he was, but something inside told him it would be catastrophic. That he wouldn’t survive it. His fear clung to him like a damp fog, permeating his heart.
“I have to go.” Graham didn’t look back. If he did, he’d never be able to leave.
Two minutes later he sped down the road with the top down. The air had turned cold, but he didn’t care. This was penance for his thinking things might be different.
Chapter Eighteen
GRAHAM set his bike against the car and sucked down half a bottle of water. Already, Dan was running down the trail backward and shouting, “Whatcha waitin’ for?”
Graham replaced the bottle in the holder and took off at a sprint. How had he ever thought he had a chance to beat Dan at the Wilmington tri? Even if he came out of the swim a full minute ahead, he’d never be able to manage it.
“You should already be a mile ahead of me,” Graham joked as he caught up with Dan.
Dan shrugged and paced Graham as they tackled the rest of the hill. “This is training, man. Besides, I’ve been doing this longer than you. Give it another six months, and you’ll beat my sorry ass.”
Graham laughed as they reached the summit and headed onto the main trail through Umstead Park. After a long day going over documents in preparation for a trial, Dan had been the one to suggest they train together for an Ironman.
“It’s always beautiful outside when we’re stuck doing this,” Dan had said after he caught Graham looking longingly out his office window.
“Makes me wish I was training,” Graham replied. “Weekends just aren’t enough, and I’m tired of riding the stationary bike every morning and trying to get a good swim in a tiny pool.”
“That’s where you’re getting off the rails.” Dan stood and walked over to him. “It stays light later this time of year. I found a group of swimmers that meets at Falls Lake on Wednesday mornings. Carver’s mom takes Lacey to her place on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I could use a running partner.”
Now, as they ran side by side down the steep dirt road, Graham wondered what he’d gotten himself into. His thighs burned, and he was pretty sure he’d have a hell of a blister on his left foot by the time they’d put in their ten miles. “You make it look way too easy.”
“Doesn’t that fancy place of yours come with a hot tub?” Dan asked with a wry grin.
“I’m gonna need more than just a long soak. Hell, I’ll need a week’s rest and a year’s supply of Tiger Balm.”
“You talk like an old man.” Dan picked up the pace as they neared the bridge at the bottom. “With those legs, you should be beating the crap out of me.”
Graham gritted his teeth and took off at a sprint, past Dan and up the hill. The hell he was going to get left in the dust!
Dan shouted, “Now that’s what I’m talking about!”
A FEW hours later, Graham lay in the grass as the first hint of color streaked the evening sky.
“How’re you feeling?” Dan stood over him, with a raised eyebrow.
“Great.” Yeah, he hurt all over. But he felt really good.
Dan sat next to him and looked up. “Best part,” he said. “The light show afterward. It’s beautiful, isn’t it?”
“Yes.” Graham wasn’t looking up anymore.
“Graham?”
“Mmm?”
“I’m really glad you came tonight,” Dan said in a soft voice.
“I am too.” This close, all Graham needed to do was lean in. He wanted to kiss Dan. He wanted to feel Dan’s body against his. He wanted Dan to take him in his arms. Why was he hesitating?
Dan studied him, but he didn’t move to close the space between them. “You probably already know it,” he said, “but when you’re ready….”
Graham d
rew a long breath and stood. “Thanks.” He offered Dan his hand and pulled him up. As always, the feeling of Dan’s skin against his own made Graham hungry for more. The heat of Dan’s hand in his felt so damn good.
For a moment, neither of them moved. Graham knew Dan was waiting for him to make the first move. They stood like that for nearly a minute, as the sound of crickets grew in the deepening darkness.
Dan sighed. “Tuesday night, then?”
Graham nodded. “Deal. And assuming I can move, swim Wednesday morning?”
“You got it.” Dan hesitated for a split second, then smiled and headed back to the parking lot.
They loaded up their respective cars, and Graham followed Dan out of the park just as the first few stars came into view. At the exit, Dan waved and headed north, while Graham turned toward downtown.
It had been a damn good day.
THE next few weeks passed uneventfully. As promised, Graham gave Dan the partnership contract to review, as well as the business valuation. He and Dan worked well together—almost too well. Dan made no effort to push their relationship beyond their comfortable friendship, and Graham was happy to leave it that way, even if Dan featured prominently in his dreams.
“Ready?” Graham asked after they had spent another marathon session going through the argument Dan would be making in Charleston, West Virginia, on a motion for summary judgment in a race discrimination case.
“As ready as I’ll ever be,” Dan said and rubbed his eyes.
“You worried about leaving Lacey?”
“It’s just for one night. Besides, her babysitter, Carly, is spending the night. That’s like a sleepover on steroids.”
“Oh.”
“They’ve already been discussing which jammies they’re going to wear,” Dan said with a chuckle. “Lacey negotiated staying up an extra hour so they can watch a movie.”
“Negotiated?”
“No joke. She’s going to be a force to reckon with if she ever decides to follow in my footsteps,” Dan said.
“Sounds like she already is.”
“Yep. She figured out that tantrums aren’t as effective as puppy-dog eyes. Not that we have no tantrums….” Dan smiled.
“She doesn’t seem the tantrum type,” Graham put in.
“Every kid is the tantrum type. She’s on her best behavior with you,” Dan explained. “But if you hang around enough, I’m sure you’ll get to see one.”
Graham wasn’t sure how to respond, so he remained silent.
“Would you like to join us for dinner Saturday? I’m sure I’ll need to unwind after the hearing.”
“I’m sure it’s easier to unwind without company,” Graham offered, hoping Dan would retract the offer.
“It’s usually the opposite. Besides,” Dan added, “Lacey’s been asking about you.”
“She has?” Why did that feel good?
“Yep.”
“All right. But only if you let me cook.” Cooking would keep him occupied and focused on something other than Dan.
“You cook?”
“I make a mean barbeque chicken. It’ll be ten times better on a real grill instead of my electric one.”
“We’ll snag some buns and slaw. And Lacey likes making beans.”
“Beans?” Graham asked.
“You know, the ones in a can? She adds ketchup and mustard to them. They’re not bad. Although we measure the ketchup now. The last time she made them, she dumped nearly the entire bottle in.” Dan ran a hand through his hair and snorted. “Not that I don’t like ketchup, but….”
Graham laughed. “Beans are good.”
As he looked out over the city an hour later, Graham hoped Dan made it home safely. As if on cue, Graham’s phone buzzed in his pocket. He pulled it out and read, “Made it home without resorting to toothpicks to keep my eyelids open.”
“Glad to hear it,” he texted back.
“Looking forward to dinner.”
Graham smiled. He’d been doing a lot more of that lately. “I am too.”
“Sleep well.”
“You too.” Graham studied the screen a moment longer, then drew a long breath. The short exchange felt a bit too comfortable, too relaxed. Then why did you agree to dinner at his place?
Graham rubbed his mouth. He could do this. He’d be working with Dan permanently. He needed to have a good relationship with him. This was no different than working with Terri. Dinner would be a perfect chance to practice what he preached. And why not? Dan was a nice guy, and there was nothing wrong with enjoying his company. Nothing at all.
WHEN Graham arrived at the office early the next morning, the last person he expected to see was Dan. “I thought you were leaving after you dropped Lacey off,” Graham told a very frazzled-looking Dan.
“That was the plan.” His smile didn’t reach his eyes.
“Something I can help with?”
Dan shook his head. “Unless you know another babysitter.”
“The babysitter for tonight cancelled?”
Dan nodded.
This was really bad news. The hearing in West Virginia had been set for late afternoon to accommodate the judge’s schedule. Even if Dan left right after instead of spending the night, he wouldn’t make it back home until midnight.
“Yep.” Dan scrolled through contacts on his phone. “And that was my last option. She can pick Lacey up from preschool, but she can’t spend the night. Her daughter’s home sick and her husband works the night shift. Carver and his family are out of town, or I’d have asked them.”
“What are you going to do?”
“I’m thinking of swinging by my parents’ on the way to court. They’d be happy to watch—”
“You’re going to drive four hours to Asheville and, what, another four up to West Virginia? That’s insane.”
Dan stared at him and Graham realized he’d practically shouted. “Graham, I can’t just—”
“That didn’t come out the way I meant,” Graham said quickly. “What I meant was you don’t have to do that. I’ll watch her.” Shit. Had he just offered to babysit a colleague’s kid?
“You’ll… what?”
“This babysitter of yours, the one you were talking about?”
Dan nodded.
“She can pick Lacey up, right?” Graham asked.
“Yes, but—”
“Hear me out. She picks up Lacey from preschool. I’ll take care of Lacey overnight. I can pick her up after work.”
Dan frowned. “Graham, I can’t ask you to do that. You’re my boss.”
“I’m your friend.” He hadn’t really thought about it until now, but it was true.
“I…. Thank you.”
“You’ll take me up on it?” Graham pressed, his instinct to exploit an opening more powerful than his common sense. He knew nothing about children. It’s only for a few hours.
“Yes.” Dan’s voice didn’t resonate with confidence.
“You’re worried I can’t handle it.”
“No, it’s not that.” Dan rubbed his lips. “I don’t want to impose on you. And Lacey can be a handful.”
“It’s just for a few hours, and she’ll be asleep for most of it.”
“You’re sure about this?”
Graham nodded. “Call the babysitter back and give me her address. You need to get on the road.”
“I…. Okay. I’ll give you a call later. Walk you through bedtime. Thank goodness it’s Friday—at least you won’t have to get her ready for school in the morning.”
“We’ll be fine.”
“I can’t thank you enough.” Dan’s smile seemed genuine.
“I’ll take good care of her.”
“I know you will.”
TWELVE hours later Graham realized he’d been right—he knew nothing about children, especially what to do if they didn’t listen.
“Lacey,” Graham said gently, “bedtime’s in ten minutes. Time to finish up.”
Lacey ignored him. “You have to go inside t
he lines. Like this.” She demonstrated with surprising precision.
“You’re doing a great job. But it’s time to get ready for bed.”
Lacey didn’t look up. “I don’t want to go to bed.” Simple, straightforward, and entirely unacceptable.
They’d spent the past hour in the playroom “making art.” Graham wouldn’t call his attempts at coloring “art,” in any sense of the word. They’d been doing fine since he’d picked her up at the babysitter’s house at six forty-five.
“Lacey, your dad told me eight o’clock is bedtime.”
“He won’t mind,” she replied in a singsong. “He lets me stay up all the time.”
Dan had been quite clear about the time. “He does?” Graham asked.
“Mmm-hmm.”
“Lacey….”
“I know!” she said brightly. “We can play with my ponies.”
“Ponies?”
She nodded emphatically, then bounced off the chair and pulled a box from one of the shelves. She grinned and dumped the contents on the floor: brightly colored plastic horses in pink, purple, green, and yellow with matching hair.
“If we play with the ponies,” Graham said, “you’ll go to bed, right?”
“Mmm-hmm.”
“Okay. But just for a few minutes, and then we’ll get you ready for bed.” He could handle that.
She squeaked and righted two of the horses. “These are mine.” She pointed to the other horses. “These are yours.”
“Thank you.” Graham folded his legs underneath him and retrieved his horses. He watched as she petted hers and stroked their long hair as if combing it. He did the same and she giggled.
“You’re funny.”
He figured he looked like a complete idiot. But if it got her into bed….
Fifteen minutes later he had a crick in his back from sitting on the floor and she showed no signs of making good on their deal. “Lacey,” he said, pretending to make one of the horses speak, “I’m a tired horsey. It’s time for bed.”
She moved one of her horses next to his and said, “Ponies don’t get tired.”
Swann's Revenge Page 9